A Peculiar Itch is Growing

By 20 April 2005 21

A long long time ago, in a country far away, the Arab merchants galloped over the hill and looked out over the country of Spain. They named it Al Andalus, The Light in Gods Eyes. Thus they proceeded to occupy, exploit and savage the hell out of it for the next few centuries. Then there was the inevitable uprising and the Inquisition and I’m sure you know the rest.

But what is the most lasting effect for you and I? Despite Aetheism that is.

The Tie. Yes, that affectation symbolic of business the world over. You see, when those Arab Merchants came over the hill akimbo upon their camels, they wore a sash around their necks. It’s purpose was to wipe the sweat from ones brow, hung from thier neck so to be immediately available. The mud eating Spanish of the time, however, saw it as a mark of prosperity. Thus the tie was born.

Thats the happy story, now I got the unhappy story.

Did you ever hear how slaves in many parts of the world and in history would have a steel collar with a chain attached? You know, so you could keep them under control, stop them from escaping. You would have to let them off the log eventually so they could work, but that collar and chain stayed on. A reminder that when the days work is done, you still belong to someone else.

The Tie is a leash.

Is it no wonder that a lot of working class young hopefuls balk at this symbol of oppression in the Canberra workplace. Especially since most of the office jobs in Canberra are public service, where the normal rules of professional outlook do not apply. Why else is it that Canberra public servants have more special days for casual attire and a prevalence of daily business casual attire than anywhere else in the world. Well, that is, anywhere else in the world that can afford clothes. Our genes warn us that where we go be monsters to whom we trade our joy. It’s called a ‘tie’ for goodness sake, a knot, a bond, a reign. Could this be less obvious!

But it doesn’t end with the Tie, oh no. I was talking to my service desk friend and I was amazed at the wallets worth of security card passes he had swinging from his neck. This was not just a leash, it was a set of bar codes. If they could tattoo him then they would. I doubt he’d complain though, he isn’t without the odd loop of steel sticking out of his head. It’s why you get a neck sash and not a belt zipperooni when you get your pass, so your barcode is as overt as possible instead of hidden in your hip pocket.

Now by all means, I’m not suggesting you tear off your business shirt like a modern day Tarzan, strangle your boss with those gaberdine pants then throw your leather shoes like shuriken into the neck of that narky office admin. I’m not asking you to go Revolution Action on the mother fuckers at all (though feel free to spool it over the emergency warning system when no one is looking). No, don’t thrown away your clothes at all. Suits make fat guys look good, I’d dare not deny this of them. I’m just saying, this is how the bastards will get you down. Slowly, subconsciously, they will detach your working class roots. With a ruse of the practical they will burden you with the symbols of the peon.

So, I say to you, break it with….. sex. Yeah, that’ll do, sex. In the workplace and more of it. The anti-repressive ‘stickin-it-to-da-man’ effects of getting it on are well known.

So make like Davey and sex up your professional look in the workplace today.

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21 Responses to
A Peculiar Itch is Growing - 2 are blacklisted
Geoffco 1:58 pm
20 Apr 05

Enough! No more Hasselhoff! Stop the bad man.

RandomGit 2:04 pm
20 Apr 05

But but but, he’s so goofy and bizarre. How could you not laugh at him?

Its not as if you don’t know what your in for when you click ‘more’ on one of my posts.

Ralph 2:16 pm
20 Apr 05

I rarely wear ties these days – and I don’t do suits either. Only suit I have was about 25 kgs ago (on the smaller side of the scale).

Its bloody riduclous the amount of people that turn up to work in suits, sit at their desk in front of a computer all day, then put the jacket on and go home. Fair dinkum.

I’m such a rebel.

Thumper 2:34 pm
20 Apr 05

I rarely wear a tie, and have put my suit on once this year, for a wedding.

Oh, and I’ll drag it out again for the ANZAC day march, and then it won’t see the light of day until… Well, who knows?

I did wear a tie to a couple of meetings in Sydney a month or so ago. Pity no-one else did….



Thumper 2:35 pm
20 Apr 05

And I think David H should be wearing a tie….

RandomGit 2:40 pm
20 Apr 05

Nah uh! He is too busy breaking the mold, isn’t it obvious? :P

Ralph 2:54 pm
20 Apr 05

He’s the trendsetter.

che 3:07 pm
20 Apr 05

Haven’t worn a tie to work for over 2 years (except special meetings)

I still wear a shirt and suit pants, but thats mainly so I don’t actually have to think of what I’m going to wear

Thumper 3:16 pm
20 Apr 05


Thats my philosophy. Shirt and good pants, you can’t go wrong, its easy, and no one can criticise you….

andy 6:29 pm
20 Apr 05

i wear a shirt and pants 4 days a week, sometimes 3
then apart from that, its jeans and a tshirt

johnboy 9:16 pm
20 Apr 05

As a proud tie wearer I say that wearing a tie means I know when I’m free. It’s when I can take it off.

Please don’t take that away from me.

Plus it means when I’m working on a Sunday I can at least console myself that I’m not wearing a tie. Yippee!

bonfire 10:02 am
21 Apr 05

i wear what i like when i like.

teh only things i wont wear to work are shorts and tracksuit pants.

i like wearing suits and ties – does that make me odd ?

RandomGit 10:08 am
21 Apr 05

No. It makes you da mans bitch :P

No reason not to have sex in the workplace though. Go to!!

Apocalypse 11:14 am
21 Apr 05

i avoid wearing ties, unless we’re facilitating a new client, mon-thur its blue/grey or green shirt with black pants, friday its generally my Nike gitup,

corperate dress rules simply state that when dealing with a client, all involved staff must be suitably attired.. and because most of our clients are gov departments, we cant really look too layed-back, i have a peircing in my eye brow as well which i was warned that higher management would not like, but when i had a meeting with the ceo it turned out that it wasnt bad after all.. perhaps has something to do with him being in a band at one stage…

Either way, the Tie isnt generally looked at in that particular fashion, it is more a sign of professionalism as apposed to a neck chain, if this was the case, the owners of companys would be considured slaves to their own work.

Apocalypse 11:15 am
21 Apr 05

and another thing…
do not fear the hoff, for the hoff loves you all

RandomGit 12:04 pm
21 Apr 05

Yes, he is infinite in his cool.

blingblingbear 2:48 pm
22 Apr 05

hmm might need to get you facts straight … the tie was actually originated from the Croatians:

“There is much written about the connection between the French word cravat and the French word for Croatian -croat – to suggest that the French King Louis XIV took up the fashion of neckerchiefs after seeing them on victorious Croatian mercenaries during the Thirty Years’ War.

One thing is certain: the elegant French courtiers, and the military immediately began copying the Croatians.”

RandomGit 3:07 pm
22 Apr 05

I stand corrected in the face of facts with reference! I think I got mine from an interview….. I saw at some point.

*read, read, read*

Doesn’t alter the rant too much. ;)

johnboy 10:17 pm
22 Apr 05

I too thought it was croatian mercenaries.

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