2 September 2008

Nutter of the month auto-nomination for August - The car hoons speak

| allofus
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[ED – August was a little light on for quality nut-baggery. But the first day of September saw the local street racing enthusiasts inundate the Naas Rd Street Racing thread. “allofus” has chosen to make the following entry. The rights and wrongs of their argument are largely lost in the sea of block capitals but fear not, allofus has won the prized RiotACT “Nutter of the Month” award for August and is now in the running for the prized Chester Trophy. Enjoy the classic flame]

Hi to Canberra. ITS ABOUT TIME WE HAVE OUR SAY ! AS THE “LOCAL CAR HOONS !” I know for a FACT that these “local CAR hoons” as you like to lable them are ACTUALLY DOING IT SAFE ! REGAURDLESS TO WHAT YOU THINK ! OR ARE GOING TO SAY ABOUT MY POST ! They are always in back streets well away from the general public, the areas they use, they are always safe smart, they make sure that there is no chance that any one can get hurt. no one stands in the way of any of it. AND I WILL MAKE THIS CLEAR ! NOW, THEY NEVER STREET RACE, Infact, these cars are never doing any more then 5kph.

I will explain the police report. ! they got to Phillip, Marties Food Van to be exact, and all the “hoons” where there. MEETING ! is that agianst the law ? for a CAR CLUB TO BE GETTING SOMETHING TO EAT ?
The “HOONS” then broke up to head to the NEXT meet spot ! all the way out in the middle of NO WHERE !
the cops never broke up anything, and if they followed them to “the spot” and there was anything against the law taking place dont you think that the cops would have taken cars ? or issued fines on those grounds? that whole story was MADE UP LIES !
and more then that. WHY WAS THERE 20 odd police cars, each with 2 officers ALL THE WAY OUT THERE??? why arnt they policing CANBERRA ! like they are PAID TO DO ! not to mention they are no better then the “hoons” there has been said to be VIDEO FOOTAGE OF SEVERAL POLICE CARS SPEEDING WITH NO REASON TO BE, AND SPINNING THERE OWN TYERS TURNING AROUND ! why is it leagle for them ??

Canberra should be thanking us that we are providing a SAFER way for this to happen, HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED THAT THERE HAS BEEN LESS “HOONS” ON THE STREETS ! they now have some where to go. AWAY FROM DANGER TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC. oh, wait, people only ever notice the BAD things in life,
Is it just me or is it a FACT that every time something GOOD comes to Canberra. that brings in money (that could have been used for repairs on canberra roads, and other things to better the place) some moron has to come out of there dark hole or closet they hide from the real world in to have a SOOK and put a stop to it ?? The V8 Super cars, the Drag way, SUMMERNATS ! (im surprised its still around and oh, they are soooo trying to close it ! GO CHICK ! )… ANYTHING to do with Cars.
Cant you see that these things make money for canberra, the hotels, the restaurants, the other attractions that Canberra has to offer, War memorial, Telstra Tower. etc. these events bring people to Canberra, thus bringing these kinds of places more visits then EVER !

Ill just say this. The “HOONS” are not gunna stop, take there cars, give them tickets, say what you like. there is always another $100 BURN OUT CAR around the corner ! PUT UP A DRAGWAY LIKE PROMISED AND IT WILL STOP ! THATS THE ONLY WAY THE GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO WIN THIS ONE !

OH YEAH, CANBERRA ! GET A LIFE !

P.S to all those who agree !
SPEAK UP !

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peterh said :

I used to drive an HZ monaro, candy apple red from a custom sprayer.

When I was growing up in the 70s Monaros were just the sexiest cars, but Chargers had a catchier advert. I reckon my pulse still quickens when I see a Monaro.

Holden Caulfield11:54 pm 04 Sep 08

I’ve considered doing a hillclimb day at SDMA, but to me the bang for buck just isn’t there. You stand around all day for about 6 minutes of driving, assuming you get 6 runs in the day. To the best of my knowledge no practice is available either. Plus you need to go to the inconvenience, albeit small, to fit a fire extinguisher and battery sticker.

For similar money you can take your standard car on the skidpan next door with instruction from Fifth Gear Motorsports and in half the time get a hell of a lot more time behind the wheel while having a blast and still learning a bit about car control that can be translated to every day driving.

If you got more than half a dozen laps SDMA hillclimbs I’d consider having a go.

I’m with ant, too, twisties are where it’s at!

mdme workalot said :

As with most forms of entertainment, there’s something about burnouts I just can’t put my finger on, but they’re fun to do, fun to watch… God help me, I’m going to get labelled a ‘hoon’!

as will we all. I haven’t hooned for some time. I used to drive an HZ monaro, candy apple red from a custom sprayer. I stopped doing burnouts when I found out how expensive tyres were to replace.

next car was a HQ, and I delighted in the feel of the acceleration from the lights.

then a leyland P-76. Don’t knock them, an alloy V8 was a lot faster in a solid tank construction car with air shocks, (and room for a couple of kegs in the boot) it was a grunty car. didn’t do burnouts, but did enjoy traffic light acceleration.

Now, i have 2 cars. Mine (very old, slow magna) and me and my wife’s (really the kid’s car – toyota camry v6)

front wheel burnouts don’t have the same feel.

and as i have kiddies, the thought of hitting a tree, another car etc, doesn’t hold much appeal to me.

Eyeball In A Quart Jar Of Snot said :

Tooks said :

Bungle said :

A question for the ‘hoons’ – what is the big deal with burn outs anyway? You’ve seen one…

I am a fan of motor racing. I like to watch cars take corners at high speed see the skill of the drivers battling with their machines. The GMC 400 was great when it was on – especially the vintage touring cars.

But burn outs just seem pointless. There’s no skill in oiling the road and dumping the clutch on a cheap set of tyres.

Burnouts, as a form of entertainment, are something I’ll never understand.

Some people are easily amused. Turned on a TV lately?

Hehe. Too true.

mdme workalot10:06 am 04 Sep 08

As with most forms of entertainment, there’s something about burnouts I just can’t put my finger on, but they’re fun to do, fun to watch… God help me, I’m going to get labelled a ‘hoon’!

Eyeball In A Quart Jar Of Snot9:52 am 04 Sep 08

Tooks said :

Bungle said :

A question for the ‘hoons’ – what is the big deal with burn outs anyway? You’ve seen one…

I am a fan of motor racing. I like to watch cars take corners at high speed see the skill of the drivers battling with their machines. The GMC 400 was great when it was on – especially the vintage touring cars.

But burn outs just seem pointless. There’s no skill in oiling the road and dumping the clutch on a cheap set of tyres.

Burnouts, as a form of entertainment, are something I’ll never understand.

Some people are easily amused. Turned on a TV lately?

Eyeball In A Quart Jar Of Snot9:49 am 04 Sep 08

I hope they don’t outlaw mass murder becuase GTA isn’t quite as enjoyable.

Bungle said :

A question for the ‘hoons’ – what is the big deal with burn outs anyway? You’ve seen one…

I am a fan of motor racing. I like to watch cars take corners at high speed see the skill of the drivers battling with their machines. The GMC 400 was great when it was on – especially the vintage touring cars.

But burn outs just seem pointless. There’s no skill in oiling the road and dumping the clutch on a cheap set of tyres.

Burnouts, as a form of entertainment, are something I’ll never understand.

BerraBoy68 said :

Gungahlin Al said :

“there is nowhere that these kids can safely go and have some automotive fun.”

Isn’t that what the PlayStation is for?

Yes. Also, joyflights should be banned in favour of MS Flight Simulator, rock bands in favour of Guitar Hero, nightclubs in favour of Dance Dance Revolution, golf -> Tiger Woods, rugby, cricket, basketball etc. Only this will appease me, since then the roads will be clear (because everyone’s playing SimOffice instead of going to work), and I may do 9,000,000km/h on my motorbike down Northbourne.

After reading your post, I’ve decided not to pick at it. It would just take too much time and YOU ARE crazy. Sorry – but it’s true.

Just quickly though – you can’t claim ‘innocent bystander’ if you are doing burnouts and/or breaking the law.

Secondly – Doesn’t matter if it’s in the middle of no where either (i.e. illegal /dangerous driving *IS* still illegal down South). If you’ve got nothing to hide, then why travel so far out? I know of at least one car club that has their meeting right near the city.

infact most the posts on here are FEMALES !

I, am man

Me and my little car equalled teh record for the hill climb from Mt Beauty to Falls, that was set by some manager-type years before in an E-type. Mind you, we cheated as it was just after the fires and you could see for bends and bends, and if you were paying attention you knew if anything was coming. The one time we stuffed up, we met the Mt Beauty cop coming the other way, but he was cheating too and was on the other side (the wrong side) of the road. too. so we glared at each other and kept going.

Now that is fun driving, but it does require you to drive the car, rather that just sitting back and pressing pedals and making noise. Me and the vitara did that drive every day for months, and the car just got faster every time. That, to me, is real driving. Not some sad little people with trumpets stuck to their bums trying to impress their mothers.

Give me bends, and lots of them. curves are fun.

A question for the ‘hoons’ – what is the big deal with burn outs anyway? You’ve seen one…

I am a fan of motor racing. I like to watch cars take corners at high speed see the skill of the drivers battling with their machines. The GMC 400 was great when it was on – especially the vintage touring cars.

But burn outs just seem pointless. There’s no skill in oiling the road and dumping the clutch on a cheap set of tyres.

Good on you allofus. You fly the booner flag proudly and for that I salute you. Keep it real son.

I don’t really like cars, but I like booners and they don’t get much love in this town.

All those in support of a charity drive to have allofus sterilised say “aye”.

the solution of building a dragway won’t fix these half baked doing their fun on the streets. They want to light up their tyres until they are stuffed, not actually go down a drag strip.

Canberra has a burnout strip at EPIC, so how about you get together and organise the hire of the burnout strip in epic and do it in a controlled area.

There are a lot of other half baked out there who would go and watch so charge them a little to do so and make some money.

If this was a monthly or fortnightly event it could help not just the drivers but he population who don’t like the sound of shreading tyres.

Felix the Cat said :

allofus said :

Let’s see know…oh I know – your post with CAPITAL LETTERS for no reason followed by grammer and punctuation that looks like it was written by a Primary School dropout.

Can’t help but concur with that observation, other than it would appear to be somewhat denigrating Primary School dropouts.

I have a feeling that part of the reason that the old drag strip was close came from CASA or Airservices Australia being slightly negative on cars doing speeds approaching that of landing jets, while making noises like crashing jets, right next to a airport. Something about potential distraction….

But that might have just been a rumour. My point though was building a new one anywhere near the airport is probably out of the question, although, Mr Snow appears to be able to build whatever the hell he wants….

I think I will stick to rallying. dirt is fine for “burnouts” and if you prang the car, more fool you.

oh and BTW, a 180 into a tree on dirt hurts as much as on tar. felt like a fool till I managed to get out and walk away…

that’s degrees, didn’t look at the speedo…

and as i don’t have a console of any decent age / performance, I will stick to driving an actual car.

still, perhaps the OP can contact the AFP re the majura track & skid pan, and whether they allow groups to use the facilities. Or someone can build a dragway at the far end of the airport – past Brand Depot, Mr Snow might be interested if it is called Canberra International Dragway…..

mdme workalot12:08 pm 03 Sep 08

Name your wheels Skaboy – would love to know!!!

I am happy to pit my car against yours anytime. It has outhandled STi’s and Evo’s at Eastern Creek and Wakefield several times.

I am going to assume you have something to do with the hillclimb, I am considering a return visit in a Kart, just for shits and giggles.

Growling Ferret11:37 am 03 Sep 08

Skaboy, sorry you didn’t enjoy your day at the hillcimb. You probably got blown away by a Grandma in a Datsun 1200…

Its pretty hard to pretend you are tough and cool when you quickly find out

a) your car doesn’t handl
b) your driving ability honed on GT3 doesn’t correlate to reality

😉

Orroral Valley is too far away – just like Wakefield park. Anyway it’s not as fun if it’s legal (or is that leagal)

and on the subject of this topic, shall Riot Act have Kook of the Month awards? Bobos? Busted Urinals?! Palmjob paddles? Oh dear.

Build it in Orroral Valley

Ok, so the inarticulate,bullying hoons demand a dragway. Now, I and others have pointed out that these things are insanely noisy. Plus, the dragway enthusiasts drive in a very anti-social way when arriving at and departing the dragway. Particularly departing. And when the dragway goes “international” (commercial), they hold multi-day events with all night rock bands adn people camping there, who need to ride/drive into town all night to get food/grog/porn/drugs. And they do not drive small quiet cars. or bikes.

So, would the hoons like to nominate their districts for this dragway? Becuase those of us who’ve lived near one will never tolerate it again, AND we’ve passed the word around. Although we really didn’t need to, plenty of people who didn’t live near the old one still got to hear it while shopping or working in the district. And word got around.

A dragway doesn’t solve anything. The hoons try to threaten road mayhem if they don’t get their dragway, but watching and listening to their antics on Pialligo Ave, the dragway didn’t prevent any anti-social driving. You would have to argue, it promoted it.

However, nothing is stopping the hoons from putting up and shutting up. Buy your own damn land, and build the thing yourselves. The old one was a pile of dirt and a strip of roadway. Big whoop. Later when it went commercial, it got the bleachers and the lights. If it hadn’t have got that stuff, and the noise that went with it, it might have survived.

Why can’t the issue at hand be discussed instead of the punctuation and grammar? Clearly you can still understand what is being said you have nothing else to say, so instead your onto them about punctuation… Just as Jessieduck did to me in the other thread

Felix the Cat9:53 pm 02 Sep 08

allofus said :

wakefield… a long way to drive.

Never heard such BS in all my life! It’s approx 100km or an hour drive at the speed limit from North Canberra. It takes nearly that long to drive from Gungahlin to outskirts of Tuggeranong.

allofus said :

even worse if something goes on your car and have to get it taken home on a trailer.

Well, here’s a thought, don’t cane the fcuk out of your sh!tbox doing burnouts and it won’t break!

allofus said :

besides writing that at 3am, what part exactly makes you think im a moron ?

Let’s see know…oh I know – your post with CAPITAL LETTERS for no reason followed by grammer and punctuation that looks like it was written by a Primary School dropout.

Yes and I believe the correct terminology should be “sausage fest” rather than “snag feast” (unless you are having a barbie while you are out there) for a bunch of dudes all hanging out together.

Allofus, a lot of us think you are a moron, not just skaboy12- the title “Nutter of the Month” is directed at you.

Your most recent post (not written at 3am) is nearly as bad as last night’s effort- just less capital letters.

Let’s look at the first sentence. You are missing the “the” before “group” and used one too many commas.

As for the rest- crap. Oh- and “infact” is actually two words.

Far out. Sorry I have my cranky pants on today but these posts are driving me mental and I am never going to win on environmental/safety issues with these guys so I might as well pick away at something to make me feel better!!

Loquaciousness9:09 pm 02 Sep 08

allofus said :

burn outs are not aloud at wakefield as far as i am aware.

I would beg to differ. Most burnouts I’ve heard have been quite loud …

L

Growling Ferret said :

Canberra has a motorsport Park at Fairburn. OK, there is no drag strip, but there are avenues for competing in both road and specialist race vehicles.

The SDMA Hillclimb runs speed events each month or so – see http://www.sdmahillclimb.com/ for more info.

There is also National Capital Speedway, the Motorcross track, and the Canberra Karting Club out there.

The people in group, want to smoke tyers, not race.
and as for going to wakefield. burn outs are not aloud at wakefield as far as i am aware. they used to do drifting there around every 3 months, it is very expensive and a long way to drive. even worse if something goes on your car and have to get it taken home on a trailer. if there was some where closer to home, it would make soooo many people happier. and who ever it was that said this sounds like a snag feast (heap of men) there are just as many women there as there is male. infact most the posts on here are FEMALES !

p.s
skaboy12
if you have been out like you say, then chance’s are very high infact that you do know who i am.
besides writing that at 3am, what part exactly makes you think im a moron ?

Well I didn’t have time to post at work, and I am about to go outside and get my car ready for some burnouts 😛

Besides I am fat, but not pasty.

or 4 even

skaboy12 said :

BerraBoy68 said :

Gungahlin Al said :

“there is nowhere that these kids can safely go and have some automotive fun.”

Isn’t that what the PlayStation is for?

Not if they want to go outside, instead of becoming a fat, pasty controller warrior.

Confused logic there Skaboy12 – You can become a fat, pasty hoon doing burnouts. Just where exactly is the exercise in doing a burnout??? Worse still, you can sit at home on your PC and become a three post nutbag;)

Also, allofus,
I know several people from this group, but I can’t identify you from your screen name. As the majority this group are smart educated people, I suggest you shut up and let them defend themselves as you are quite obviously a moron.

I have been out with this group on several occasions, and most of the older guys there know what they are doing, and are prepared to take the punishment if they are caught doing the wrong thing. Many of them are in the 25-35 age group and have been at this for a long time. The majority of the older guys are APS, solicitors, it specialists and tradesmen.

This particular group has been around since 1997 and it has taken this long for the cops to do something about it. Funnily enough it also happened after all the moron 17-23 year old fulsik wankers started to turn up and think they can drive like gods, I have feeling you fit in this group. You won’t think like that when you get on a racetrack and hit a wall at 230km/h, that was my wake up call, and I was lucky to walk away.

BerraBoy68 said :

Gungahlin Al said :

“there is nowhere that these kids can safely go and have some automotive fun.”

Isn’t that what the PlayStation is for?

Not if they want to go outside, instead of becoming a fat, pasty controller warrior.

Gungahlin Al said :

“there is nowhere that these kids can safely go and have some automotive fun.”

I think it’s called Wakefield Park…

And it’s hideously expensive now that the new owners have taken over. The track hire pricing almost doubled.

Not really an option for people who work 5/6 days a week and can only go out nights.

Growling Ferret said :

Canberra has a motorsport Park at Fairburn. OK, there is no drag strip, but there are avenues for competing in both road and specialist race vehicles.

The SDMA Hillclimb runs speed events each month or so – see http://www.sdmahillclimb.com/ for more info.

There is also National Capital Speedway, the Motorcross track, and the Canberra Karting Club out there.

Well the only hings out there are a speedway which hardly operates, the hillclimb which is expensive and doesn’t allow burnouts etc (I have more fun driving to the coast then when I went to the hillclimb), A kart track which requires you to be a member and have your own kart, and finally a motocross track.

Hmmm heaps of fun for people who want to do/watch burnouts. A motorsport facility that provides nothing for the majority of people.

Gungahlin Al said :

“there is nowhere that these kids can safely go and have some automotive fun.”

Isn’t that what the PlayStation is for?

I guess he/she was tyered when they wrote this

BabelFish doesn’t seem to have an option for Bogan -> English

Gold!

Gungahlin Al5:02 pm 02 Sep 08

“there is nowhere that these kids can safely go and have some automotive fun.”

I think it’s called Wakefield Park…

Growling Ferret4:37 pm 02 Sep 08

Canberra has a motorsport Park at Fairburn. OK, there is no drag strip, but there are avenues for competing in both road and specialist race vehicles.

The SDMA Hillclimb runs speed events each month or so – see http://www.sdmahillclimb.com/ for more info.

There is also National Capital Speedway, the Motorcross track, and the Canberra Karting Club out there.

You blokes just managed to beat me to it

Look, leaving aside the bogan English (is that Boglish?), Allofus points to a real problem – there is nowhere that these kids can safely go and have some automotive fun.

Canberra needs some motorsports facilities (a dragway would be a start, but that is not all) where these activities can be conducted safely. Proper facailities includes checks on mechanical safety, that drivers are licenced, and conducted within a controlled environment.

Until there is an alternative, things like the Naas Road incident will continue. I remember when I was a lad, we used to go to the local railway reserve for our impromptu mayhem (I’m talking late 60s, early 70s here). Have none of you ever done the same?

I am very surprised that allofus managed to get all those words in, without once mentioning they only do it on public roads because the rate payers of Canberra won’t finance a dragway.

Another reason for a dragway – allows these types to be kept in the one place. This makes our streets a little bit safer and you could run basic english courses out there at the same time…

I am very surprised that allofus managed to get all those words in without once mentioning dragway.

Madman said :

Wow… And when someone finds a bogan to english translator – would you mind summarising it?

Or does bogan to english translation auto-summarise?!

:-p

ask a bogan. wait, I am a bogan.

Wow… And when someone finds a bogan to english translator – would you mind summarising it?

Or does bogan to english translation auto-summarise?!

:-p

I think he put forward a very articulate argument- GO CHICK!

WE WILL RACE THEM ON THE BEACHES WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!

This also popped into my head while reading the original post. Should I be worried that I am starting to channel Thumper?

WE WILL RACE THEM ON THE BEACHES WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!

now quote the actual speech, thumper.

WC Churchill never thought his speech would be used in so many ways…

la mente torbida10:11 am 02 Sep 08

No contest…

Was this create by a drunk man using early generation voice-to-text software?

While I am hesitant to go near the (I think?) topic of the post, I believe to many people have been watching the fast and the furious, and expect there to be a set of hot twins in short skirts leaning over each car, rather then the sausage fest these things ususally are.

Loquaciousness said :

Err … is there a translation available? BabelFish doesn’t seem to have an option for Bogan -> English.

L

several people were meeting in Phillip, then decided to go for a leisurely drive out in the country. Unfortunately, the constabulary decided that this wasn’t the proper way for young people to behave, and labeled them miscreants.

The people who were meeting, were driving motorized vehicles and were not hurting any innocents. they were ensuring that their meetings did not disrupt other members of the public, by holding them in locations that are not frequented often.

Bogan to english – easy. Bogan to westie, forget it.

flying doormat9:45 am 02 Sep 08

allforus quote “AND I WILL MAKE THIS CLEAR ! NOW, THEY NEVER STREET RACE, Infact, these cars are never doing any more then 5kph.”

No wonder they would need to stop at Martys for a feed – will take them abut 12 hours to get to the middle of nowhere doing less than 5kph.

Loquaciousness9:23 am 02 Sep 08

Err … is there a translation available? BabelFish doesn’t seem to have an option for Bogan -> English.

L

Clown Killer9:21 am 02 Sep 08

why is it leagle for them ??

Gold!

Nice post – well thought out and very succinct – If any of your alleged “HOON” FrieNDS get nicked and have To APPEAR in couRT, I suggest they DON’T pay for a lawyer, rather they SHOULD hire you as their Defence counsel – With arguments like the above you could get the BALI NINE off!!

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