25 September 2008

Lanyon pleas of forgiveness...

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[First filed: September 24, 2008 @ 08:03]

“Please forgive me Mel”

Says the signs on the way to work.

Has anyone else noticed the signs on the drive from Lanyon to the City?

They start off saying “Please forgive me Mel” near the roundabout just past Lanyon shops, then another two a bit further down toward tuggeranong saying, “I love you Mel” and two more on the overpass near the RSPCA on the Tuggeranong parkway.

What do you think guys, should Mel forgive the creator of these signs?

I think she should…

[ED – come on southern Rioters, get us a photo of the phenomenon for fame and glory. Email it in to images@the-riotact.com]

UPDATED: The following has been forwarded by one of our sources. It appears to be related and has been doing the email rounds:

I WILL DONATE $1000
TO THE
STARLIGHT FOUNDATION

IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME WIN BACK THE
HEART OF MY
ex-PARTNER.

PLEASE CANBERRA HELP WIN A HEART TO HELP A CHILD.

My partner and I have had a torrid amount of stress and finally last week that stress got to us. Melissa called it off just when we could see the finishing line from the stress.

I will give anything, do anything and help anyone if they can assist me win back Melissa. I finally found true love and I would do absolutely anything for this amazing women.

I want to show this wonderful lady just how much I love her. Melissa has had a tough time recently and on one occasion I should have been more sensitive. I just want her to be happy and know how great she really is.

If you can assist or know of people who could assist then please call Glenn on **** *** *** [Number supressed].

Mel’s got a $1,000 bounty on her head now?

Mel should...

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give it a break GranMa

My biggest random stupid act was purchasing a reclining armchair from a place that didn’t home deliver. It was for Gramps’ birthday, so I couldn’t even call him to come help me!

However, with the help of a shopping trolley, a couple of random strangers, a bit of electrical cable, a plank, a three year old child and some awfully good luck, I managed to get it safely home and through the doorway. It then took four rolls of giftwrap to cover!

He then had to stare at it everyday for about a month without a clue what it was ….

*maniacal laughter*

I’m still pretty proud of that effort, and as a gift it was also a resounding success!!

fabforty said :

This guy is clearly under the misapprehension that some males are under. Do stupid things that you know your chick wont like and then think you can get her back with a bunch of flowers. When that doesn’t work, escalate the pressure with public apologies and begging forgiveness. That way people will think she is a b*tch if she doesn’t take you back.

My advice to Mel would be “don’t take back anyone who would put this much pressure on you. If you have said goodbye he needs to accept it. Either way he needs to stop putting your private life on show for all of Canberra”.

My advice to Glenn is to “back off her immediately and give the woman a chance to think. If she wants to forgive you, she will. If she still wont take you back, be a man and accept it, reclaim your dignity and move on”.

I am, however, alarmed at Glenn’s desperation and hope his friends and family are keeping a very careful eye on him.

Much wisdom here, Fabforty.

Does this sound familiar?

“But [insert name here], I’ve just [insert details of random stupid act here] for you to prove my love. Doesn’t that prove anything to you?”

“Yeah, it proves you’re a bigger tool than I gave you credit for being. You’re an oxygen thief, a fark whit, and you’ll have to work hard to get that paint off your hands into the bargain. But zip on down to Bunnings, because it’s Tool Time!”

Dear Mel,
There are only two real rules in life the first…… never ever go back. We all know the reasons why. If you break up with someone you do it for a very good reason. SO why after the dust settles would you get lonely and bored and most importantly outside the comfort zone and get back with someone.

Over is over

Guy or boatshed or whatever well done you lose clap clap now f off no-one cares.

Of course what is going to happen in the real world is that Mel after a couple of weeks will get bored/lonely and be so used to the habit of having someone else that she will inevitably contact before mentioned wanker and next thing you know all is forgotten and no one will know the difference.

It’s called tail end theory.

jessieduck said :

VicePope said :

Emotional upheaval is not a spectator sport.

Like hell!

(With the exception of people being dead)

VicePope said :

Emotional upheaval is not a spectator sport.

Like hell!

There are probably some things that can be sorted out with roadside signs and forlorn messages through blogs. Can’t think of what they may be, but they’re probably not the things that Dr Phil does.

For heaven’s sake, talk to a counsellor. Alone or together. Emotional upheaval is not a spectator sport.

Spill- we need details

ESC, If you know something we don’t (and let’s face it, that’s hardly a challenge!) then we want as much detail as we can get!

Trust me, she is not taking him back.

tylersmayhem1:57 pm 25 Sep 08

has the man not heard of ‘flowers’? works every time…

Apparently not in the case of Paul the Stalker. If $1,000 worth of them don’t work – I dunno what else will 😉

mel should walk back to him, say ‘i did it, i won back my heart for you. now, where’s my grand?’ then, with cash in hand, go back to weeping in the dimly lit bar avoiding johnboy’s pleas and wait til boatshed gets a new kayak in…

has the man not heard of ‘flowers’? works every time…

gold, yeah, put the phone number up !

Matt in the Hat10:28 am 25 Sep 08

tylersmayhem said :

Is I were “Mel”, the painted signs would reinforce my she left the “scene” man. Not only has the dude been a c**khead, but he’s illegally causing damage to public property while drawing attention to her private life.

Mel, if you’re out there – take these signs as a warning of something much more serious!

The signs were painted on pieces of board so I can’t see what damage he’s done. Good on Goathead or what ever his name is for trying!!!!

So, Glenn has been entering too many different boatsheds? Boom, tish…

tylersmayhem9:37 am 25 Sep 08

I’d like to think/hope that Mel will not be posting anything on here. I imagaigne she’s got a hell of a lot more class than that.

Skidbladnir said :

bubzie said :

But seriously, when is glenn going to come on here, and share his side of the story?? 🙂

In about three years, long after we’re all forgotten about it, there will be a post along the lines of OMG STFU U R AL FUX 4 POSTING THS ABOAT ME AND MY GF U PPL MADE US BRAKE UP 4 EVA ND IF I FARKIN C U IN RIVERSIDE PLAZA ND U CUM NEAR MY NEW WIFE I WILL BRAKE UR FACE!!!!! – GLENN ‘THE MONGORAZAL’

Skid, thanks for the very early morning guffaw out awfully loud = GOAL!

This guy is clearly under the misapprehension that some males are under. Do stupid things that you know your chick wont like and then think you can get her back with a bunch of flowers. When that doesn’t work, escalate the pressure with public apologies and begging forgiveness. That way people will think she is a b*tch if she doesn’t take you back.

My advice to Mel would be “don’t take back anyone who would put this much pressure on you. If you have said goodbye he needs to accept it. Either way he needs to stop putting your private life on show for all of Canberra”.

My advice to Glenn is to “back off her immediately and give the woman a chance to think. If she wants to forgive you, she will. If she still wont take you back, be a man and accept it, reclaim your dignity and move on”.

I am, however, alarmed at Glenn’s desperation and hope his friends and family are keeping a very careful eye on him.

Yes, if Mel wished to speak to him he wouldn’t need the signs and go-betweens. He will probably need to accept that the decision wasn’t made lightly and he has really hurt her. Salvage what lessons he can, and try again when he feels ready. I am sure she has his number if she has a change of heart.

OK sure, but the point remains that there’s lots more great women out there.

And if you think other great women won’t be interested in you then why should the one you’ve lost?

Time for some self-improvement and try again with someone else.

… three are married, one is a lesbian and the other’s a nun.

johnboy said :

deezagood said :

Like the Whitlams say, “if she’s one in a million then there’s five more just in NSW”.

Yeah, but that means that there is only a 1 in 3 chance you’d find the one in a million in Canberra.

deezagood said :

… and look fabulous and date somebody more attractive/richer/smarter than your ex! And of course the best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else.

Yes, that too.

Like the Whitlams say, “if she’s one in a million then there’s five more just in NSW”.

Beserk Keyboard Warrior said :

Why has RiotAct suppressed his number if he’s already painted it all over town?

Just trying to avoid trouble where possible.

… and look fabulous and date somebody more attractive/richer/smarter than your ex! And of course the best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else.

The best revenge is to live well.

‘Himself’ even (dudette needs to get herself some typing lessons)

Dude needs to get homself some DIGNITY!

lol @ Skid @ #52
Bwilliant!

Never mind Glenn posting on here. I want to hear Mel’s side of the story. I believe her side of the story would be far more revealing and interesting.

Ten reasons Glen may be a sociopath.

1. Manipulative and Conning – using sick kiddies as bait is not cool.
2. Grandiose Sense of Self – “and on one occasion I should have been more sensitive”- just on one occasion Glenny Boy?
3. Pathological Lying – “I just want her to be happy”- no he doesn’t – he wants himself to be happy.
4. Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt – deflecting the attention away from his actions with this BS.
5. Shallow Emotions – I finally found true love and I would do absolutely anything for this amazing women – except not act like a douche.
6. Incapacity for Love – is this love that you’re feeling or your ego?
7. Need for Stimulation – kept himself busy erecting placards.
8. Callousness/Lack of Empathy – “Melissa has had a tough time recently and on one occasion I should have been more sensitive” – in his own words.
9. Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature – most people would stop themselves before painting one placard let alone half a dozen.
10. Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity – possibly what led to this whole fiasco in the first place.

Cameron said :

Re: the bounty – now THAT is amazing. Mel is either quite a woman, or Glen is quite a looney tune.

I wonder what he defines as help?

Kidnapping and deprogramming?

Beserk Keyboard Warrior4:36 pm 24 Sep 08

Why has RiotAct suppressed his number if he’s already painted it all over town?

Anyway, he could send the $1000 a lot better.

For a start, it’d buy a lot of fun with Tess Ryan!

bubzie said :

But seriously, when is glenn going to come on here, and share his side of the story?? 🙂

In about three years, long after we’re all forgotten about it, there will be a post along the lines of OMG STFU U R AL FUX 4 POSTING THS ABOAT ME AND MY GF U PPL MADE US BRAKE UP 4 EVA ND IF I FARKIN C U IN RIVERSIDE PLAZA ND U CUM NEAR MY NEW WIFE I WILL BRAKE UR FACE!!!!! – GLENN ‘THE MONGORAZAL’

Glenn Porritt?

Don’t just run Mel- move interstate.

Glenn/Boatshed,

Don’t be such a god-damn pussy!
Grovelling to some girl is just pathetic. You’re a disgrace to your entire gender.
What do you want out of this scenario? That Mel comes back to you? But even if that happens, you’ve so degraded yourself that how much respect can she have for you?
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with life. And stop being so awfully pathetic!

eh, if i can find my camera, i’ll go hunt down pictures for you all of these.

But seriously, when is glenn going to come on here, and share his side of the story?? 🙂

I would like to add I only think its sweet if he is only asking forgiveness for being a jerk generally.
If he his asking for forgiveness for anything similar to the Greg Bird incident then I don’t think she should take him back even if he offered to give one millian to charity.

Die Lefty Scum4:12 pm 24 Sep 08

If Greg Bird’s missus took him back then I give Glenn a good chance.

Said Alice…

who the f**k is alice?

She doesn’t have the bounty on her head, Jb.
He only wants to win the heart back, but for AUD$1000 he’d be lucky to get a third-tier one from China, covered in a handful of ice.

Doesn’t ACT harassment law kick in somewhere around this point?

I think it is kind of sweet. I mean he is proclaiming to the world that he loves this woman. I men I don’t know the circumstances of it, but at least he is not afraid of voicing his feelings and fighting for what he wants.
Just a thought

I wonder if Glenn will post.

The email/bounty was mentioned this morning on one of the commercial FM stations, and it transpired that it was written by one of Glenn’s mates rather than the man himself.

Curiouser and curiouser, as they say.

amarooresident3:53 pm 24 Sep 08

Right, so this guy wants her to get back with him after discussing their private affairs via signs all over Canberra and now an email that essentially amounts to blackmail. Mel, tell him to f**k off. Or better still come back, make sure he donates the money then leave again.

Stay strong Mel.
If Glenn/Boatshed’s done something so bad that he needs to beg so publicly for forgiveness, he’s not worth it.

Re: the bounty – now THAT is amazing. Mel is either quite a woman, or Glen is quite a looney tune.

I wonder what he defines as help?

TAD said :

JB, no I think you mean “Protection Orders” in the ACT, sub categories “Domestic Violence Orders”, “Workplace Orders”, “Interim Orders”, “Emergency Orders” and “Consent Orders”

Thanks TAD, I shall soundly thrash my erroneous source forthwith.

I reckon something big happened in the ‘boatshed’ … like they were about to tie the knot and she found out that he was really her illegitimate brother from a somewhat unsavoury encounter with a maid in a Bolivian hotel 29 years ago.

Jessieduck, perhaps Boatshed is his first name, and is the cause of his deep-seeded insecurities, thus leading him to treat the lovely Mel so appallingly?

I think we should definitely keep generating these conspiracy theories, because you know that sooner or later…………………..

THE TRUTH WILL BE TOLD!

And hasn’t he got a nerve using her first name but calling himself Boatshed??!!

tylersmayhem1:37 pm 24 Sep 08

Is I were “Mel”, the painted signs would reinforce my she left the “scene” man. Not only has the dude been a c**khead, but he’s illegally causing damage to public property while drawing attention to her private life.

Mel, if you’re out there – take these signs as a warning of something much more serious!

Mel and Koshie??????

johnboy said :

Or, y’know, website editors…

Oh who am I kidding…

You never know your luck in a big city- right place, right time, emotionally fragile weepy sort looking for an escape!

JB, no I think you mean “Protection Orders” in the ACT, sub categories “Domestic Violence Orders”, “Workplace Orders”, “Interim Orders”, “Emergency Orders” and “Consent Orders”

jessieduck said :

She’ll wake up tomorrow and realise that her tears are wasted on Boatshed and she will spend the weekend getting drunk and pashing hot young things at a dimmly lit bar.

Or, y’know, website editors…

Oh who am I kidding…

Aurelius said :

Jessieduck, who are we kidding? We all know Boatshed’s a cad. But Mel’s display of putting him in the doghouse is all show. We know she’ll forgive him. She’s too weak.

In my land of pure imagination Mel hasn’t had a chance to see these signs because she’s been too distraught to leave the house. She’s been sobbing into her tissues for days.

She’ll wake up tomorrow and realise that her tears are wasted on Boatshed and she will spend the weekend getting drunk and pashing hot young things at a dimmly lit bar.

As Danman said, what you used to think of as a “restraining order” is now an “Apprehended Violence Order” for when you can show you have reason to fear someone.

Probably.

@Joe – they are white signs with black writing. I don’t know that a photo would convey anything you can’t already imagine 😉

That said, I’d be happy to take some snaps of it on the way to work tomorrow – I suspect that some of the signs are gone though (I don’t recall seeing the 1 more chance one this morning for example).

Sounds like the sign writer has been slipping someone other than Mel a length!

Joe Canberran10:57 am 24 Sep 08

Photo’s anyone???

DVO and AVO – Apprehended Violence Order

Matt in the Hat10:44 am 24 Sep 08

Sounds to me what Mel needs is a new man

*sigh* some women are so lucky. I wish I had a psycho stalker who was obsessed with me to the point of vandalising public property……

A Restraining Order is what Mel needs to get…

It’s actually not AVO, its called DVO’s these days. Domestic Violence Order.

Unless I am wrong.

Jessieduck, who are we kidding? We all know Boatshed’s a cad. But Mel’s display of putting him in the doghouse is all show. We know she’ll forgive him. She’s too weak.

Don’t do it Mel!!

Hilarious – I noticed these over the last few days and considered posting asking the same question. They definitely say stalker to me.

captainwhorebags9:35 am 24 Sep 08

I’m pretty sure one of the signs says “Melissa”.

johnboy said :

Sounds like a stalker to me.

Mel needs an AVO.

Almost out of here, but first, in a packed program this morning, the news…

AVO? Australian Valuation Office? Has Mel’s partner been diddling their land tax? That would explain a lot.

Swaggie said :

Are you guys all assuming Mel is a female? Maybe ‘Melvin” should forgive HER….

Kudos for the lateral thinking there, Swaggie.

So to continue my earlier analogy, maybe Mel’s partner is the ink pot that’s had the company quill dipped into…. this is all getting a bit too Two Ronnies for me.

So it’s goodnight from me, and it’s goodnight from me.

Good night.

Wow… He must have done something really bad…

I have noticed these signs the last couple of days… but only until this morning I saw the one on the tuggeranong parkway.

The first one actually seems to be in Conder, exiting Pockett Ave. It says something like ” I am sorry Mel, Boatshed”, then the other ones say things like, Give me 1 more chance Mel, Please forgive me Mel, and I love you Mel.

Someone is definitely in the dog house.

Are you guys all assuming Mel is a female? Maybe ‘Melvin” should forgive HER….

When in doubt in matters of the heart it always pays to listen to James.

    “Now your grip’s too strong
    Can’t catch love with a net or a gun”

Sounds like a stalker to me.

Mel needs an AVO.

Nah..could get more interesting!! 🙂

I’ve only noticed the ones near tuggeranong/lanyon myself..i never knew they were also on the parkway!

I suspect not. Maybe the author has been dipping his quill in the company ink and is only now contrite that Mel’s tumbled his game.

Cad. Bounder.

Either that or he forgot to put the bins out for the third straight week.

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