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A Christmas Wish for Burglars

By 4 January 2013 33

Three years ago I bought my eldest son a guitar for Christmas. I didn’t have much money, and it wasn’t a great guitar, but I taught him to play on it and he’s a helluva lot better than me now. I hoped he’d play the blues, but he’s a metal head like most kids these days. It doesn’t matter what he plays, I’m proud of him and it brings tears to my eyes to watch his fingers flying across the fretboard faster than I’ll ever manage.

But yesterday some rat faced, yellow skinned, stinking, green toothed scurrying vermin stole his guitar, God Damn them.

They stole a bunch of other things too. My daughters watch. Jewelery. A TV. And unbelievably, they scattered thumbtacks across the floor of my daughters bedroom, presumably hoping that she’d hurt herself when she walked into her room.

Dogs. I’d fight them all at once, snap their scrawny necks like twigs, and whistle while I worked. But it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll have that pleasure…

So I have a News Years wish for the scum who did this. I reckon they’d be smokers, and my wish for them is that the smoking increases. I hope they end up sucking down two or three packs of full strength durries every day.  And then in a few years time I hope they taste the blood in their mouths during the morning coughing session and feel a pang of fear. And after that, I hope their eventual end is long and slow and terribly painful.

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33 Responses to A Christmas Wish for Burglars
#1
Dilandach9:13 am, 04 Jan 13

Next door to my house got broken into during the day. Not sure what they took but they certainly did make off with some things.

I’m curious, was it an open window or something forced open?

#2
shirty_bear10:13 am, 04 Jan 13

Arsehats. On the upside, you’ll almost certainly get your wish … grubs like these have exactly the level of intelligence to think smoking is a worthwhile activity.

#3
AcidRose10:26 am, 04 Jan 13

welcome to the karma cafe
you get served…what you deserve

#4
JessP10:31 am, 04 Jan 13

Bad enough to lose personal items (regardless of their value) but the invasion of your home and then the bastard move of the thumbtacks is shocking. My condolences for your loss and lets hope the loser/s get what they deserve.

#5
Girt_Hindrance10:41 am, 04 Jan 13

Many years ago I was facing an exceptionally rough time and in the midst of that, some toe-rags broke into my car and stole both my tool kits. My friends rallied around and presented me with a gift card to the value of what I thought the tools were worth.
The lesson I learned was that it took a shitty act for me to realise the good of the people around me.
In the spirit of that, I have an older guitar that I’d like to offer you, for nothing of course, it’s a red imitation strat, possibly worse than the one that you already had, but hopefully enough to keep your Son going til he gets a proper one.
If you’re interested, JB has my email details.
Cheers, Girt.

#6
Pork Hunt10:49 am, 04 Jan 13

Girt_Hindrance said :

Many years ago I was facing an exceptionally rough time and in the midst of that, some toe-rags broke into my car and stole both my tool kits. My friends rallied around and presented me with a gift card to the value of what I thought the tools were worth.
The lesson I learned was that it took a shitty act for me to realise the good of the people around me.
In the spirit of that, I have an older guitar that I’d like to offer you, for nothing of course, it’s a red imitation strat, possibly worse than the one that you already had, but hopefully enough to keep your Son going til he gets a proper one.
If you’re interested, JB has my email details.
Cheers, Girt.

Nice.

#7
460cixy11:01 am, 04 Jan 13

Girt_Hindrance said :

Many years ago I was facing an exceptionally rough time and in the midst of that, some toe-rags broke into my car and stole both my tool kits. My friends rallied around and presented me with a gift card to the value of what I thought the tools were worth.
The lesson I learned was that it took a shitty act for me to realise the good of the people around me.
In the spirit of that, I have an older guitar that I’d like to offer you, for nothing of course, it’s a red imitation strat, possibly worse than the one that you already had, but hopefully enough to keep your Son going til he gets a proper one.
If you’re interested, JB has my email details.
Cheers, Girt.

Good work mate

#8
milkman11:40 am, 04 Jan 13

Hey LSWCHP – that sucks. Personally I hope they break into someone’s home who knows how to handle themself, and get beaten sufficiently to have permanent brain damage and constant pain.

No doubt you’ve reported this to the cops. Did they have anything to go forward with?

#9
kea11:46 am, 04 Jan 13

I hope your guns weren’t in the list of things they stole..

#10
bundah11:49 am, 04 Jan 13

FFS this type of low act would make one’s blood boil but it’s not gonna stop anytime soon coz it’s just another intolerable scenario that some of us are subjected to in our lifetime.The wadcutter would of stopped ‘em in their tracks and justifiably so!

#11
NoImRight12:53 pm, 04 Jan 13

Having been burgled myself and the circumstances causing my family some ongoing grief you have my sympathy. Hopefully you are able to put this behind you soon.

#12
Girt_Hindrance1:03 pm, 04 Jan 13

I’ve sometimes rather darkly thought that the only benefit of actually busting someone in your house is that they haven’t told anyone where they’re going, and if they were never seen again, well, no one would have a clue where to start looking.
A Police Officer (from another State) once told me that the only thing you could really do would be to render said person unconscious, put them in the boot of your car and dump them at an intersection somewhere. Reportedly the onus is on them to explain how to they got there.
Of course, if they got to your house once, they’d be able to get back there again, dependent on level of head injuries.
I’ve also heard people with two broken arms can rarely wipe their own backside for up to six weeks.
Alas, the Police already have enough to do, and that’s as dark as I’ll get on this beautiful 37 degree day.
Hope things pick up for you and your family, LSWCHP.

#13
el1:09 pm, 04 Jan 13

Sorry to hear such a shit thing happened mate.

Like Girt, I also have a guitar I’d be willing to send you (provided your son was interested).

Not sure how ‘metal’ it is (although I bought it off a guy into hard rock/metal out in Kaleen years ago). It’s an Epiphone Coronet, one of the Korean Reissues. Humbucker (spittable) bridge pickup and a single coil neck pickup, 24.75″ scale length with a tune-o-matic bridge and stop tailpiece. Refinished in a colour close to Sonic Blue in acrylic (not a perfect job by any stretch, but looks better than the poo brown original colour).

I gave it a full setup including a fret level/recrown then put it back in it’s case, and tried to sell it online on a couple of forums without success. I’ve basically been waiting for someone to say “I have a nephew/niece/daughter/son who’s interested in learning to play” who I could give it to so it would see some use.

Let me know if you’re interested, anyway. I also fully understand if the boy wants a replacement that matches the one that was stolen though :-)

#14
Roadrage771:22 pm, 04 Jan 13

My prized possession, a wine red Les Paul Studio was stolen when my house in Mawson was burgled. Twenty years later and I still wonder where it ended up. Instruments are like pets – its hard not to get attached to them.

#15
Girt_Hindrance1:24 pm, 04 Jan 13

el said :

Sorry to hear such a shit thing happened mate.

Like Girt, I also have a guitar I’d be willing to send you (provided your son was interested).

Not sure how ‘metal’ it is (although I bought it off a guy into hard rock/metal out in Kaleen years ago). It’s an Epiphone Coronet, one of the Korean Reissues. Humbucker (spittable) bridge pickup and a single coil neck pickup, 24.75″ scale length with a tune-o-matic bridge and stop tailpiece. Refinished in a colour close to Sonic Blue in acrylic (not a perfect job by any stretch, but looks better than the poo brown original colour).

I gave it a full setup including a fret level/recrown then put it back in it’s case, and tried to sell it online on a couple of forums without success. I’ve basically been waiting for someone to say “I have a nephew/niece/daughter/son who’s interested in learning to play” who I could give it to so it would see some use.

Let me know if you’re interested, anyway. I also fully understand if the boy wants a replacement that matches the one that was stolen though :-)

Wow, that does sound nice. Good stuff Champ.

#16
Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd1:58 pm, 04 Jan 13

Sucks man.

It’s quite sad when this sort of crap happens and the only reason you hope they get busted by police is the off chance they still have your stuff as we all know they would get no more than a finger waggle.

Good on you peeps willing to help out.

#17
grunge_hippy3:49 pm, 04 Jan 13

The arsehats are about this summer that’s for sure. Someone tried to steal our camper trailer before xmas, lucky for us they fucked up the hitching, tried to drive off and it fell off leaving it on the ground… the obviously didn’t think to bring a jack with them…. only bolt cutters and an angle grinder to cut the chain. no damage thankfully and no camper trailer for them. Like to see them try next time!!!

(no that is not an invitation douchbags!)

I send them similar wishes…. and that their tow ball is f@cked beyond all recognition.

#18
Ben_Dover4:26 pm, 04 Jan 13

Lets hope they get caught and face the full force of the law in the ACT. We all know how severe that is!!!

#19
LSWCHP5:22 pm, 04 Jan 13

Thanks for the sympathy folks, and especially to GH and el, with the offers of replacement instruments. That’s incredibly kind of both of you, and I really appreciate it.

As it is, I’ve taken the boy shopping for a new axe and he’s picked out a suitably sharp edged pointy looking heavy-metal instrument, and he’s going to get that for his upcoming birthday, thanks to some help from his grandparents.

The break in was through a forced window, and the cops are on the case, not that I hold out much hope that they’ll find who did it.

Thanks once again for the kinds words and amazingly kind offers of assistance. My failing faith in humanity has taken an upswing. :-)

#20
LSWCHP5:24 pm, 04 Jan 13

AcidRose said :

welcome to the karma cafe
you get served…what you deserve

I haven’t lead an entirely virtuous life, but my son is only 14 and he’s a great kid. He didn’t deserve to have this happen to him.

#21
LSWCHP5:27 pm, 04 Jan 13

kea said :

I hope your guns weren’t in the list of things they stole..

All secure. They’d need sledgehammers, bolt cutters, angle grinders and several uninterrupted hours to get at my firearms.

#22
scorpio636:42 pm, 04 Jan 13

I always had an alarm when kids in primary and secondary school, particularly given the fact that thieves can still be robbing a property when the kids returned home from school as was the case with a girlfriend of mine when her older son returned home, disturbed them and they ran out the back way.

#23
PrinceOfAles6:53 pm, 04 Jan 13

LSWCHP said :

kea said :

I hope your guns weren’t in the list of things they stole..

All secure. They’d need sledgehammers, bolt cutters, angle grinders and several uninterrupted hours to get at my firearms.

But I bet you`d only need a few seconds to unlock `em, load `em and shoot the scum that robbed you if you happened to see them. Or are we not supposed to say that out loud? For the record I do support the summary execution of thieves and burglars among others. It`s such a low act.

#24
scorpio637:39 pm, 04 Jan 13

Thieves broke into both of my sister’s properties (both work regular 9-5 jobs) more than 8 years ago. One got a dog thereafter which always barks and creates a rucus anytime a person sets within a foot of the place. Both have since had alarms installed with the accompanying advertisements on their windows and not a problem since.

I caught a thief at midnight once, attempting to break into vehicles in three streets droning up and down. He’s a career thief in his forties and has a few younger ones that accompany him in other vehicles. I was doing some work in a street when he droned up, parked in a driveway (brazen bugger) and as he tried breaking into a neighbour’s vehicle on the road, I turned my headlights on and startled him (highbeam). He walked towards me and I informed him that he was never to return. I know where the guy lives and who he uses to do his break and enters.

Local police in each state, particularly country cities know repeat offenders and their families yet little can be done until these offenders are either working full-time, charged and locked up to learn a lesson or grow old; with their sons taking over their careers.

Many of these adults have been thieving for their parents back in their primary school years; by the time they are in their 20′s and 30′s know every dirty trick in the book stealing and getting away with people’s property. These are the facts and until people fully implement at least two of the necessary security measures ie security alarms, dogs, cameras (which they should never have to do), these families will continue to get away with thousands of dollars worth of other peoples hard earned goods.

Families are mostly included, particularly the sons recruited to do their father’s dirty work.

As was the case with a neighbour’s break and enter. The son in primary school used to case the property up to 6 weeks beforehand. Once people speak with all of their neighbours after a break in, there are usually strong clues that lead to the description or identity of thieves.

My sisters after reflection and talking to neighbours had correctly identified their thieves.

The two teenage boys that broke into my sister’s place moved shortly thereafter. The other Thief (male in his 30′s) that broke into my other sister’s property was more difficult to prove.

#25
Spykler7:40 pm, 04 Jan 13

Ben_Dover said :

Lets hope they get caught and face the full force of the law in the ACT. We all know how severe that is!!!

Unfortunately, all too true- these filthbags deserve to have their fingers severed off with a blunt butter knife, but if caught will cop a good half dozen strokes of the Goose feather!

#26
Hosinator9:04 pm, 04 Jan 13

Get an alarm, can’t vouch for them enough. If you cannot afford one now, buy one of those fake light and siren contraptions as an interim measure.

#27
AcidRose9:21 pm, 04 Jan 13

LSWCHP said :

AcidRose said :

welcome to the karma cafe
you get served…what you deserve

I haven’t lead an entirely virtuous life, but my son is only 14 and he’s a great kid. He didn’t deserve to have this happen to him.

ummmm…in my defense …I meant the crims …not your boy…but after that i’m thinking….hmmmm…maybe you too? I dunno? how’s your karma bank looking? best wishes :)

#28
AcidRose9:25 pm, 04 Jan 13

scorpio63 said :

Thieves broke into both of my sister’s properties (both work regular 9-5 jobs) more than 8 years ago. One got a dog thereafter which always barks and creates a rucus anytime a person sets within a foot of the place. Both have since had alarms installed with the accompanying advertisements on their windows and not a problem since.

I caught a thief at midnight once, attempting to break into vehicles in three streets droning up and down. He’s a career thief in his forties and has a few younger ones that accompany him in other vehicles. I was doing some work in a street when he droned up, parked in a driveway (brazen bugger) and as he tried breaking into a neighbour’s vehicle on the road, I turned my headlights on and startled him (highbeam). He walked towards me and I informed him that he was never to return. I know where the guy lives and who he uses to do his break and enters.

Local police in each state, particularly country cities know repeat offenders and their families yet little can be done until these offenders are either working full-time, charged and locked up to learn a lesson or grow old; with their sons taking over their careers.

Many of these adults have been thieving for their parents back in their primary school years; by the time they are in their 20′s and 30′s know every dirty trick in the book stealing and getting away with people’s property. These are the facts and until people fully implement at least two of the necessary security measures ie security alarms, dogs, cameras (which they should never have to do), these families will continue to get away with thousands of dollars worth of other peoples hard earned goods.

Families are mostly included, particularly the sons recruited to do their father’s dirty work.

As was the case with a neighbour’s break and enter. The son in primary school used to case the property up to 6 weeks beforehand. Once people speak with all of their neighbours after a break in, there are usually strong clues that lead to the description or identity of thieves.

My sisters after reflection and talking to neighbours had correctly identified their thieves.

The two teenage boys that broke into my sister’s place moved shortly thereafter. The other Thief (male in his 30′s) that broke into my other sister’s property was more difficult to prove.

I wish there was a “Like” button for this comment

#29
scorpio631:43 pm, 05 Jan 13

Happy New Year and thank you Rose

#30
farnarkler2:36 pm, 05 Jan 13

scorpio63, families like this need to be visited by a team of rugby forwards early in the morning, have their arms and legs broken and told to leave Canberra.

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