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A Christmas Wish for Burglars

By LSWCHP - 4 January 2013 33

Three years ago I bought my eldest son a guitar for Christmas. I didn’t have much money, and it wasn’t a great guitar, but I taught him to play on it and he’s a helluva lot better than me now. I hoped he’d play the blues, but he’s a metal head like most kids these days. It doesn’t matter what he plays, I’m proud of him and it brings tears to my eyes to watch his fingers flying across the fretboard faster than I’ll ever manage.

But yesterday some rat faced, yellow skinned, stinking, green toothed scurrying vermin stole his guitar, God Damn them.

They stole a bunch of other things too. My daughters watch. Jewelery. A TV. And unbelievably, they scattered thumbtacks across the floor of my daughters bedroom, presumably hoping that she’d hurt herself when she walked into her room.

Dogs. I’d fight them all at once, snap their scrawny necks like twigs, and whistle while I worked. But it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll have that pleasure…

So I have a News Years wish for the scum who did this. I reckon they’d be smokers, and my wish for them is that the smoking increases. I hope they end up sucking down two or three packs of full strength durries every day.  And then in a few years time I hope they taste the blood in their mouths during the morning coughing session and feel a pang of fear. And after that, I hope their eventual end is long and slow and terribly painful.

What’s Your opinion?


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33 Responses to
A Christmas Wish for Burglars
1
Dilandach 9:13 am
04 Jan 13
#

Next door to my house got broken into during the day. Not sure what they took but they certainly did make off with some things.

I’m curious, was it an open window or something forced open?

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2
shirty_bear 10:13 am
04 Jan 13
#

Arsehats. On the upside, you’ll almost certainly get your wish … grubs like these have exactly the level of intelligence to think smoking is a worthwhile activity.

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3
AcidRose 10:26 am
04 Jan 13
#

welcome to the karma cafe
you get served…what you deserve

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4
JessP 10:31 am
04 Jan 13
#

Bad enough to lose personal items (regardless of their value) but the invasion of your home and then the bastard move of the thumbtacks is shocking. My condolences for your loss and lets hope the loser/s get what they deserve.

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5
Girt_Hindrance 10:41 am
04 Jan 13
#

Many years ago I was facing an exceptionally rough time and in the midst of that, some toe-rags broke into my car and stole both my tool kits. My friends rallied around and presented me with a gift card to the value of what I thought the tools were worth.
The lesson I learned was that it took a shitty act for me to realise the good of the people around me.
In the spirit of that, I have an older guitar that I’d like to offer you, for nothing of course, it’s a red imitation strat, possibly worse than the one that you already had, but hopefully enough to keep your Son going til he gets a proper one.
If you’re interested, JB has my email details.
Cheers, Girt.

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6
Pork Hunt 10:49 am
04 Jan 13
#

Girt_Hindrance said :

Many years ago I was facing an exceptionally rough time and in the midst of that, some toe-rags broke into my car and stole both my tool kits. My friends rallied around and presented me with a gift card to the value of what I thought the tools were worth.
The lesson I learned was that it took a shitty act for me to realise the good of the people around me.
In the spirit of that, I have an older guitar that I’d like to offer you, for nothing of course, it’s a red imitation strat, possibly worse than the one that you already had, but hopefully enough to keep your Son going til he gets a proper one.
If you’re interested, JB has my email details.
Cheers, Girt.

Nice.

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7
460cixy 11:01 am
04 Jan 13
#

Girt_Hindrance said :

Many years ago I was facing an exceptionally rough time and in the midst of that, some toe-rags broke into my car and stole both my tool kits. My friends rallied around and presented me with a gift card to the value of what I thought the tools were worth.
The lesson I learned was that it took a shitty act for me to realise the good of the people around me.
In the spirit of that, I have an older guitar that I’d like to offer you, for nothing of course, it’s a red imitation strat, possibly worse than the one that you already had, but hopefully enough to keep your Son going til he gets a proper one.
If you’re interested, JB has my email details.
Cheers, Girt.

Good work mate

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8
milkman 11:40 am
04 Jan 13
#

Hey LSWCHP – that sucks. Personally I hope they break into someone’s home who knows how to handle themself, and get beaten sufficiently to have permanent brain damage and constant pain.

No doubt you’ve reported this to the cops. Did they have anything to go forward with?

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9
kea 11:46 am
04 Jan 13
#

I hope your guns weren’t in the list of things they stole..

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10
bundah 11:49 am
04 Jan 13
#

FFS this type of low act would make one’s blood boil but it’s not gonna stop anytime soon coz it’s just another intolerable scenario that some of us are subjected to in our lifetime.The wadcutter would of stopped ’em in their tracks and justifiably so!

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11
NoImRight 12:53 pm
04 Jan 13
#

Having been burgled myself and the circumstances causing my family some ongoing grief you have my sympathy. Hopefully you are able to put this behind you soon.

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12
Girt_Hindrance 1:03 pm
04 Jan 13
#

I’ve sometimes rather darkly thought that the only benefit of actually busting someone in your house is that they haven’t told anyone where they’re going, and if they were never seen again, well, no one would have a clue where to start looking.
A Police Officer (from another State) once told me that the only thing you could really do would be to render said person unconscious, put them in the boot of your car and dump them at an intersection somewhere. Reportedly the onus is on them to explain how to they got there.
Of course, if they got to your house once, they’d be able to get back there again, dependent on level of head injuries.
I’ve also heard people with two broken arms can rarely wipe their own backside for up to six weeks.
Alas, the Police already have enough to do, and that’s as dark as I’ll get on this beautiful 37 degree day.
Hope things pick up for you and your family, LSWCHP.

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13
el 1:09 pm
04 Jan 13
#

Sorry to hear such a shit thing happened mate.

Like Girt, I also have a guitar I’d be willing to send you (provided your son was interested).

Not sure how ‘metal’ it is (although I bought it off a guy into hard rock/metal out in Kaleen years ago). It’s an Epiphone Coronet, one of the Korean Reissues. Humbucker (spittable) bridge pickup and a single coil neck pickup, 24.75″ scale length with a tune-o-matic bridge and stop tailpiece. Refinished in a colour close to Sonic Blue in acrylic (not a perfect job by any stretch, but looks better than the poo brown original colour).

I gave it a full setup including a fret level/recrown then put it back in it’s case, and tried to sell it online on a couple of forums without success. I’ve basically been waiting for someone to say “I have a nephew/niece/daughter/son who’s interested in learning to play” who I could give it to so it would see some use.

Let me know if you’re interested, anyway. I also fully understand if the boy wants a replacement that matches the one that was stolen though :-)

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14
Roadrage77 1:22 pm
04 Jan 13
#

My prized possession, a wine red Les Paul Studio was stolen when my house in Mawson was burgled. Twenty years later and I still wonder where it ended up. Instruments are like pets – its hard not to get attached to them.

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15
Girt_Hindrance 1:24 pm
04 Jan 13
#

el said :

Sorry to hear such a shit thing happened mate.

Like Girt, I also have a guitar I’d be willing to send you (provided your son was interested).

Not sure how ‘metal’ it is (although I bought it off a guy into hard rock/metal out in Kaleen years ago). It’s an Epiphone Coronet, one of the Korean Reissues. Humbucker (spittable) bridge pickup and a single coil neck pickup, 24.75″ scale length with a tune-o-matic bridge and stop tailpiece. Refinished in a colour close to Sonic Blue in acrylic (not a perfect job by any stretch, but looks better than the poo brown original colour).

I gave it a full setup including a fret level/recrown then put it back in it’s case, and tried to sell it online on a couple of forums without success. I’ve basically been waiting for someone to say “I have a nephew/niece/daughter/son who’s interested in learning to play” who I could give it to so it would see some use.

Let me know if you’re interested, anyway. I also fully understand if the boy wants a replacement that matches the one that was stolen though :-)

Wow, that does sound nice. Good stuff Champ.

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