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Being single in Canberra

By 27 June 2014 14

online-dating

My idea of dating has been shaped by US TV shows and movies. Since recently becoming single I’ve noticed that dating has changed in an incredible way to what it was just three years ago.

Three years ago I found that people were embarrassed to say they met people through online dating websites, you’d cover up the truth with something like, ‘we met during a Ke$ha song at ICBM’.

Now it seems people are happy to admit they’re using apps like Grindr and Tinder or that they flirted with a friend of a friend on a Facebook status and are now living happily ever after.

As an outsider my perspective of Grindr and Tinder is purely a way to hook-up, however several single friends who use these apps have assured me it’s not! It’s just a fun and superficial way to judge someone by their appearance before actually engaging in a conversation – reminds me of a nightclub actually.

Upon downloading Tinder for the first time I was overcome by how many people I came across on there that I already knew or that I had ‘friends in common’ with (thanks Canberra for the three degrees of separation).

My eyes were also assaulted with shirtless photos, crotch pictures and photos of cars. I one day dream of meeting my match after seeing a hairy crotch photo – don’t you?

Then when you do happen to match with someone you’re met with the always charming ‘DTF’. For those who aren’t up with the lingo of orange, drunk, media whores it means ‘down to f@ck’. Not a problem if you’re both searching for that – is a problem when your personal blurb says not looking for a hook-up.

As a single woman on Tinder you’d be hard pressed to move on from thinking that the guys are only looking for one thing. I’ve only managed from about 100 matches, 10 actual conversations with people that weren’t married, drug dependent or wanted me to send money or they won’t get their cancer treatment.

Word to the wise, online dating is still just as terrifying as 3 years ago – only now there are more people to sift through!

Samara is the Editor of Big Ink Magazine and spends her time writing and perusing the latest fashion. She doesn’t believe in true love or Prince Charming, but finding someone to enhance your life rather than hinder it.

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14 Responses to
Being single in Canberra
astrojax 1:13 pm
27 Jun 14
#1

there is more to life than night clubs and the internet, you know…

arescarti42 1:58 pm
27 Jun 14
#2

“As a single woman on Tinder you’d be hard pressed to move on from thinking that the guys are only looking for one thing.”

…it’s a service that matches people based ENTIRELY on their physical appearance. What did you expect?

watto23 2:10 pm
27 Jun 14
#3

I’d love to know the age group of the author. I assume in their 20′s.
IMO these days women are just as objective about men and their looks as men are about women.
My suggestion is if you think you are a very attractive person why not try something that allows you to connect on a mental level. Tindr is all about looks and hooking up if you are in your teen’s/20′s. Less so for older participants, who probably still want to hookup, but are less inclined for 1 night stands.

You don’t get an opportunity to know someone based on their photo. You probably don’t get to know someone well after 1 date either.

Mothy 2:58 pm
27 Jun 14
#4

I’ll keep it short:

Tinder and Grinder and hookup apps.

Try RSVP.

Met my wife via the latter – after a string of hopeless missed connections, awkward silences over coffee, and taking down my profile more than once, only to return and put it back up. Glad I did. From that first date onward – this is the one.

As with any medium, persistence pays.

It’s a sad world where meeting online is less embarrassing than including the $ in Kesha and name checking that as the song you met to…

VYBerlinaV8_is_back 3:02 pm
27 Jun 14
#5

Victim mentality much?

Samara Gentle 3:06 pm
27 Jun 14
#6

I’m in my late 20s and look forward to sharing the Canberra dating scene from my perspective :)

Mothy 3:27 pm
27 Jun 14
#7

Dare to be different, City Kat.

gospeedygo 12:46 pm
29 Jun 14
#8

I am a fan of (proper, with profiles and whatnot) internet dating but Canberra just doesn’t have population/uptake to make it a worthwhile endeavour.

That and us men have ruined the whole thing by being creepy morons.

watto23 9:47 am
30 Jun 14
#9

gospeedygo said :

I am a fan of (proper, with profiles and whatnot) internet dating but Canberra just doesn’t have population/uptake to make it a worthwhile endeavour.

That and us men have ruined the whole thing by being creepy morons.

Yes because all the nice men fall into the category of “You’re a nice guy but….” category.
Two sides to dating and I believe both sides are to blame.

gospeedygo 11:56 am
30 Jun 14
#10

watto23 said :

gospeedygo said :

I am a fan of (proper, with profiles and whatnot) internet dating but Canberra just doesn’t have population/uptake to make it a worthwhile endeavour.

That and us men have ruined the whole thing by being creepy morons.

Yes because all the nice men fall into the category of “You’re a nice guy but….” category.
Two sides to dating and I believe both sides are to blame.

Create two accounts on say OkCupid, one male and one female. Fill out both profiles in a generic way and add some photos. Leave both logged in for a couple of days and compare the two perspectives at the end.

arescarti42 8:24 pm
30 Jun 14
#11

gospeedygo said :

watto23 said :

gospeedygo said :

I am a fan of (proper, with profiles and whatnot) internet dating but Canberra just doesn’t have population/uptake to make it a worthwhile endeavour.

That and us men have ruined the whole thing by being creepy morons.

Yes because all the nice men fall into the category of “You’re a nice guy but….” category.
Two sides to dating and I believe both sides are to blame.

Create two accounts on say OkCupid, one male and one female. Fill out both profiles in a generic way and add some photos. Leave both logged in for a couple of days and compare the two perspectives at the end.

http://youtu.be/RALRPnG9E8Y

Samara Gentle 10:23 am
04 Jul 14
#12

gospeedygo said :

watto23 said :

gospeedygo said :

I am a fan of (proper, with profiles and whatnot) internet dating but Canberra just doesn’t have population/uptake to make it a worthwhile endeavour.

That and us men have ruined the whole thing by being creepy morons.

Yes because all the nice men fall into the category of “You’re a nice guy but….” category.
Two sides to dating and I believe both sides are to blame.

Create two accounts on say OkCupid, one male and one female. Fill out both profiles in a generic way and add some photos. Leave both logged in for a couple of days and compare the two perspectives at the end.

Hmm.. might just have to try that!

watto23 10:51 am
04 Jul 14
#13

Samara Gentle said :

gospeedygo said :

watto23 said :

gospeedygo said :

I am a fan of (proper, with profiles and whatnot) internet dating but Canberra just doesn’t have population/uptake to make it a worthwhile endeavour.

That and us men have ruined the whole thing by being creepy morons.

Yes because all the nice men fall into the category of “You’re a nice guy but….” category.
Two sides to dating and I believe both sides are to blame.

Create two accounts on say OkCupid, one male and one female. Fill out both profiles in a generic way and add some photos. Leave both logged in for a couple of days and compare the two perspectives at the end.

Hmm.. might just have to try that!

It will be interesting exercise to try. For a long time even before internet dating, they had dating agencies and it was all about the men being charged a fee to meet women. Its carried on without the fees, but on most sites I think you’ll find men will contact women 10 times more than a women will contact a man. I reckon there is a market for a dating site, whereby only women can contact a man. Yes some of us men might never get contacted, When I’ve internet dated numerous women have mentioned just how many contacts they get from men. They are not all scumbags looking for a quick hookup, but being able to sort the genuine men from the scumbags isn’t an easy task, but part of that lies in how our brains work.

You can’t say to people you are not my type after 1 date and then complain you never meet anyone nice. I have always offered a second date with women, because often people are not at their best on the first date. Sometimes you realise that yes we’d not get along and sometimes you realise hey there is more to this person.

Holden Caulfield 12:12 pm
04 Jul 14
#14

watto23 said :

…I reckon there is a market for a dating site, whereby only women can contact a man…

Yeah, that’s called Tinder. ;)

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