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Canberra Schools and changing lightbulbs

By 30 March 2007 38

Ducks emailed in the following joke doing the rounds which we thought amusing enough to be noteworthy:

So, just how many Canberra district school students does it take to change a
light bulb?

– Canberra Girls Grammar – One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

– Narrabundah College – Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.

– Lyneham High – None. They’re all too drunk to notice.

– Daramalan College – None. In a perfect school nothing breaks down. *Cough Shit hole Cough*

– Merici College – One. She’ll put through a call to maintenance staff because there’s no way she’s going to do manual labour.

– Yass High School – None. That hole looks better in the dark.

– Bruce CIT – Five. One to change the globe and four to discuss its benefits to future vocational training.

– Lake Ginninderra College – Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.

– ANU – Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe’s right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.

– Canberra School of Music – Forty Three. One to change the globe and A 42 piece orchestra to accompany him.

– Canberra Boys Grammar – None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark. “If you can’t get a girl get a Grammar boy”.

– Queanbeyan High – Five. One to change it, and four to go to Go Lo For new booner attire to wear for the occasion.

– St Frances Xavier – Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times.

– Belconnen High – Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.

– St Clares College – None. It is too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such dangerous task.

– St Edmunds College – Five. One to install it, and four to tally the Number of times he says F*** or talks about rugby while he’s doing it.

– Karabar High – Five. One to change the bulb and four to complain that a school of their stature was ever built in Queanbeyan.

– Cooma High School – None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.

– Dickson College – Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the CIT students and six Italians and six Asians to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime.

– Marist College – Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn’t half as bright as the light shining from their arses.

– Goulburn High – None. Everyone is either suspended or wagging (including the teachers).

– Lake Tuggeranong College – Thirty One. One to change the blub and thirty to paint interpretive murals about it all over Civic.

– Batemans Bay High – Nobody bothered to ask because nobody cares about Batemans Bay.

– Gold creek high – 100. 1 to screw it in 1 to start a fight over it, 1 to call his 97 cousins to protect him

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38 Responses to Canberra Schools and changing lightbulbs
#1
VYBerlinaV8 now_with9:21 am, 30 Mar 07

My personal favourite lightbulb joke was always…

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? 5 – 1 to change it and 4 to form a committee to discuss the violation of the socket.

There’s an alternate version also:

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? 2 – 1 to change it and 1 to suck my d***

#2
RandomGit9:25 am, 30 Mar 07

What would the radford joke be?

#3
captainwhorebags9:56 am, 30 Mar 07

VY, Or the always provocative:

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The bitch can cook my dinner in the dark.

#4
Woody Mann-Caruso9:56 am, 30 Mar 07

1 to suck my d***

Gold.

#5
johnboy9:58 am, 30 Mar 07

Any feminists want to share their misogynist pig jokes?

#6
stan_bowles10:40 am, 30 Mar 07

“How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The bitch can cook my dinner in the dark. “

And you wonder why you can’t convince paid advertisers to use the riotact. Who would ever want their product or service displayed on the same page as this kind of rubbish?

#7
captainwhorebags10:55 am, 30 Mar 07

Stan: You’re right, that joke (and I do agree that it’s completely tasteless and crass) is completely out of character for someone called captainwhorebags.

#8
BT11:20 am, 30 Mar 07

So you’re suggesting that this site become more PC to appease (potential) advertisers?

#9
Absent Diane11:33 am, 30 Mar 07

PC things don’t get attention. Controversial things get more attention.

#10
Indi11:43 am, 30 Mar 07

pc…tsk, it’s just a joke, harden the f*&k up to the crybabies

#11
Absent Diane11:46 am, 30 Mar 07

Politcally Correct is fcking annoying.

#12
bonfire12:02 pm, 30 Mar 07

anyone called ‘bowels’ shouldnt chide those with a penchant for scatological and lewd humour.

its too tempting.

#13
VYBerlinaV8 now_with12:18 pm, 30 Mar 07

I for one would like to hear some jokes feminists make about pigs like me. Then I can laugh again (and feel comfortable making more crass jokes about them).

#14
VYBerlinaV8 now_with12:19 pm, 30 Mar 07

Oh, Stan Bowels – say hi to your mum for me.

#15
stan_bowles12:26 pm, 30 Mar 07

Its Bowles champion and all I’m trying to say is that this kind of stuff might be amusing to some, but in my opinion its off-putting to advertisers.

Theres been debate about whether the-riotact (or should that be riot-scat) can continue without bringing in more advertising $, and I think it’d be shame if a great site fell over due to a lack of funds.

And did you hear about the Pakistan cricket team entering the winter olympics? Apparently they’re quite keen on the bobslay event.

#16
Ralph12:48 pm, 30 Mar 07

Pur your cardigan back on, get yourself a cup of tea, and go and listen to your Ruddio National.

#17
VYBerlinaV8 now_with12:49 pm, 30 Mar 07

“And did you hear about the Pakistan cricket team entering the winter olympics? Apparently they’re quite keen on the bobslay event. “

I don’t get it, but thanks for you input anyway, Bowelsy!

#18
Hasdrubahl12:52 pm, 30 Mar 07

I get it, but prefer to think that the Bobston Strangler has escaped from jail.

#19
VYBerlinaV8 now_with12:58 pm, 30 Mar 07

Now I get it. What a funny joke.

#20
Nik_the_Pig2:03 pm, 30 Mar 07

So what? still no Radford lightbolb joke? Come on!

#21
Woody Mann-Caruso2:35 pm, 30 Mar 07

Ditto on the Radford joke – I’ve got a grad here who’s waiting to see what somebody comes up with.

#22
Thumper2:46 pm, 30 Mar 07

Wouldn’t Radford just build a complete new building rather than change the light bulb?

okay, lame, I know.

Where is my rock to crawl back under…

#23
schmerica_2:52 pm, 30 Mar 07

I think I first read this when I was in high school, I think in 1999? Although it has been updated to add in ANU and CIT.

One started last year named ‘The Canberra Nightlife Guide’ Well, that’s when I first got it anyway. Oh, and the ‘You know your from Canberra when…’

Not all spam is bad!

#24
nyssa763:43 pm, 30 Mar 07

Well it gave me a laugh after a busy week.

Sent it off to a few friends and they loved it too.

#25
ducks4:06 pm, 30 Mar 07

This Nightlife Guide, schmerica?

http://the-riotact.com/sections.php?op=viewarticle&artid=215

I hadn’t seen that one, but I was looking for another one I saw here ages ago that was a PowerPoint presentation.

#26
Rara5:25 pm, 30 Mar 07

Anyone got a line for Canberra College – Phillip and Weston campus?

#27
adeptacheese7:56 pm, 30 Mar 07

lyneham high till my liver gives out

#28
Vic Bitterman8:40 pm, 30 Mar 07

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Fish.

#29
bubzie10:16 pm, 30 Mar 07

I’ve seen so many versions of that, its losing its funnyness! (soo a word :D)

*Goes back to paining interpretive mural* :D

#30
schmerica_11:36 am, 31 Mar 07

Yeah, thats the one Ducks. It appeared in my inbox in late 2005 I think.

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