"History will be kind to us, because we will write it"
Dear Matt,
I was young once, I know how hard it can be when you are trying to work out what girls are about. Obviously Abbey did something to upset you, maybe she put chewing gum in your hair, dropped your mobile phone in the loo, or kissed another boy. Or maybe she just wouldn’t let you put your hand inside her bra, we don’t know. So you decided to extract your revenge. Ok, not what most real men would do, but if that’s your choice, have at it.
However, you made one fundamental mistake.
How can I put thsi Matt? Writing your intent to “get” Abbey, on the wall of a busy office block, in two foot high letters, on a busy cycle path, behind the police station, probably wasn’t the cleverest of ideas, was it? You do know now that if any harm does befall Abbey, (we hope none does, obviously,) you will not only be the prime suspect, but there will also be evidence “written in stone” so to speak.
Pretty dumb move Matt. I’d go as far as to say, that is world class stupidity with bells on, and sprinkles.
Yours sincerely,
Ben
PS. It’s “you’re” as in “you are”, not “your”. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.
[Ed - Got an image of Canberra you want to share with the world? Email it in to images@the-riotact.com ]
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The way I read it, Matt Nelson is the one being threatened. I’d say Abby and Matt upset a previous boyfriend. Drama in the suburbs.
dazzab said :
+1, I think!
More like disgruntled employee. Abby is actually Bruce Abdullah, Matt Nelsons boss. Although not located in that building the are both employed by a directorate based there. Nuff said!
It hasn’t occurred to you that someone other than Matt Nelson might’ve written it in a pathetic attempt to make Matt look bad?
You could just ask him when he comes back to correct the apostrophe.
Just to clarify I don’t think this was one statement written by Matt Nelson, rather two separate statements. One against Abby and one against Matt. It would be a monumentally stupid idea to threaten your boss on the side of your employers building.
Abbey your I will get a dog and you Matt Nelson?
So someone is going to get a dog and a Matt Nelson from an abbey?
I thought Henry VIII destroyed all the abbeys?
Maybe they are selling dogs and Matt Nelsons from the abbey out at Gold Creek?
It’s all a bit cryptic.
I’m not quite sure how someone could reach the conclusion that MN would be the one writing this on the wall when it’s clear that it’s a threat against him.
I do believe FB is correct regarding the workplace connection, therefore I think the individual writing this is probably known to them and a particularly stupid individual.
I wouldn’t like to be in the position of the individuals this fool has been stupid enough to graffiti, not only subject to the graffiti but now online for everyone to comment on an make assumptions.
Pretty safe to assume that Abby (no e) and Matt are being threatened by the spray can bandit.
But, three stars for going to all this effort Mr Dover.
One more tip, when you’re going to have a go at someone for spelling or grammar, proof read your own material before hitting the submit button.
Hopefully, you will learn from thsi experience.
dazzab said :
Ditto.
Unless Matt Nelson has the world’s least imaginative graffitist’s tag.
Hmmmm. The threats against two people, Abby and Matt, certainly seem a possibility. However, I wouldn’t discount the sort of boy genius who would graffiti threats, being beyond stupid enough to sign it.
So we have two possible interpretations;
“Abby, you’re a dog. (And*) I will get you Matt Nelson”
(One would presume Abby has been doing the horizontal tango with Matt from this.)
Or:
“Abby you’re a dog and I will get you, Matt Nelson.”
(One would presume Abby has been doing the horizontal tango with everyone but Matt, from this.)
Fascinating, I’ll be on tenterhooks until I know the sordid truth. If only we had an Aussie version of “The Sun” newspaper….
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/
*One should never start a sentence with conjunctions.
Where did you all learn to read? It’s right to left then down. Clearly the writer is buying dogs for both Abby Your and Matt Nelson.
frontrow said :
C’mon, it’s a two column layout. This has been clearly marked by the fence posts, haha.
FB said :
A rather primitive and low-rent way to get back at an employer. Why doesn’t he do what John Moulis does and post videos on YouTube so the whole world can discover what b*****ds his bosses and the other employees are.
Ben_Dover said :
Bend Over, just admit it.
You had a brain fart moment that lead to reading comprehension failure.
Romans, go home.
Thumper said :
The people called Romans, they go to the house?
The most offensive assumption of Ben’s has to be the spelling of Abby. Honestly, no matter how big she is, she’s not as big as a cathedral. Even if she were it would be ungentlemanly to say so.
*sigh* the moment you post, and realise you’ve stuffed it.
People called Romanes, they go to the house.
FB said :
How many Matt Nelsons are there?
Thumper said :
Romanes eunt domus
Romans go home is an order!
Romani ite Domum
Jivrashia said :
I still contend that each interpretation is apposite.
DrKoresh said :
Guilty as charged yer honor, I’d like 3300 other offenses taken into consideration, society is to blame.
Deref said :
Not sure, but it appears that you can them at the Abbey.
Deref said :
Sounds like a wrestling hold.
FB said :
Sounds like they both made the right decision by letting this employee go. Especially with their atrocious spelling and grammar.
“PS. It’s “you’re” as in “you are”, not “your”. Paying attention in school may have been a bit wiser than you gave credence too.”
PS. It’s “to”, not “too”.
tim_c said :
You think so? I’m not sure? Any other grammar pedants on here?
FB said :
Well in that case perhaps one could assume that both Abdullah and Lord Nelson have conspired against the disgruntled operative prompting this work of genius?
Ben_Dover said :
*CRASH!*
“Did someone call a grammar pedant? Yes, it’s to, unless it’s in excess, in which case it’s too- ie- too far, too loud.
My work here is done.”
Ben_Dover said :
Ben_Dover said :
You’re not one to admit when you’re wrong, are you Ben, even though you’ve publicly named someone and made several questionable accusations?
It’s ‘to’, a preposition, as in ‘you don’t give credence to an unsubstantiated accusation’.