24 February 2009

Riding with rats.

| johnboy
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The old Johnboy you knew is no more.

No relax, I haven’t been bludgeoned to death by an angry mob of murder victim families and moderated lunatics (yet).

Rather I have been on a Rat Patrol ride, the second and final step in immigrating to rat world. (The first step was building Rodrigo).

So, having completed the ride late last night and of bleary eye, I was initiated in a ritual of staggering complexity and finery. I have been re-born and re-named. My astonishing deftness with a cutting disk has earned me the name of “Roughcut Richard”.

So what’s involved in Rat Rides?

(More and a slideshow below, comic by Panama)

Well there’s a lot of drinking.

Being my first ride I was a little worried that I would be late for the 6pm start.

I need not have fretted.

For two hours we just sat around in the Rat Pad’s palatial gardens drinking beer from the esky tricycle as rats trickled in and pulled up a chair.

Only when the beer and cider ran out did the rats saddle up and hit the road, trekking as far as the Dickson Woolies bottle shop.

With the esky trike filled and with beers clenched in fists, there was happy procession to inspect the Rats’ guerilla garden on the banks of the Blue Sullivan.

Then there was a lot of riding up and down the bike path between Dickson and Lyneham, discovering The Front had closed early, riding to a playground in Lyneham and playing monkey tag on the equipment.

Passers by kept asking me if they could buy my bike.

Another run to the bottle shop was undertaken. (It should be noted that all empty bottles went back in the esky for disposing of in a bin).

Finally the rats returned to their lair for some late night boozing.

Zooming through shopping centres at night in a cavalcade of rats on their amazing array of bikes is akin to riding with the Wild Hunt.

It’s not a boys club either, lots of amazing women zoom around on tall bikes and choppers with the blokes.

I haven’t had as much fun in years.

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G-Fresh said :

AngryHenry said :

Best side of the Canberra cycling community? bahahaha cracker.

Why not take a slice of your own advice there and wrap it up tiger. Or just go and ride a silly bike around Canberra with the only intention of getting as much attention showered on yourself for being a nincompoop as possible. Yes indeed what a great time to be had. Exciting. Stupid bikes through the city. Inventive. Fresh.

G-Fresh, wigga name. Inventive. Fresh…

Loose Brown. Word.

ConstableWilly11:39 pm 23 Feb 09

Ha ha ha! Nice one Loose. ( Re: “… I too share some concerns about these ‘Rats’…”)

I agree that perhaps this unsavoury behaviour could eventually unravel the safe and pleasant social fabric from which Canberra’s stain-free undergarments are crafted.

I can’t resist: Trix – This said ‘tool’ may have been anyone (there is the odd non-rat contraption getting around I would imagine). Or if it were a Rat, perhaps they were just having a bad day? Perhaps you were having a bad day?! Like when you piss someone off in your car by accident, and you feel a bit silly, but what’s done is done, and it all happens to quickly to warrant stopping and offering apologies over tea and scones. Welcome to life in a city.

Showing off? Or making a point….. There is a fine line here, I guess. Thinking outside the square (or the public-service cubicle) can be difficult for many Canberrans – attention-grabbing displays of alternative thinking can seem like a threat. Yet I would say the mainstream is the real threat – walking through pissed, aggressive, teenagers and 20-somethings in civic or Braddon on a saturday night (and don’t get me started on Summernats) scares the shit out of me more than some bloke (or chick) cruising on a bicycle built with love and flair. The bikes make me smile, and the vast majority of pedestrians (and drivers) I’ve seen in the moment tend to smile as well.

G-Fresh et al. – How often do you make strangers smile?

I think JB is on a very slippery slope that only leads to a recumbent cycle…

Kramer said :

At least if they *were* drink riding they all appeared to be wearing helmets.

Is this the same as wearing your seatbelt while you drink drive?

I dont know if this was related to you guys, but Saturday night there was some kind of contraption in Dickson. One bike at the front and appeared to be towing about 3 other “carriages” like a train taking up the whole road riding along past Suburban.

taking up the road, and putting about at 5kph made for a few pissed off motorists, … shame my exhaust on the 7 was on the other side otherwise you would have received a nice flame to burn you off the road

Looks like I’m not the only person chucking toys out of prams around here.

Did I say that I thought the bikes were crap or that it’s not a fun thing to do? No. But if you can’t control the damn thing, then ride somewhere where you’re not a danger to the rest of us trying to do their business. Simple.

As for “threats”, yes, I did feel threatened by someone whizzing by less than 10 cm from me at high speed. I don’t like feeling that I’m liable to serious injury from someone not paying attention to the environment around them due to their need to show off.

DarkLadyWolfMother3:14 pm 23 Feb 09

Gotta love folks who don’t like “different”. The bikes are interesting and (to me) artistic. Whether they’re safe or not I’ll leave to those risking their lives (or not) by riding them.

Though if anyone attaches an engine to one, I might just decide to be elsewhere. Just in case. You know?

Timberwolf653:02 pm 23 Feb 09

No relax, I haven’t been bludgeoned to death by an angry mob of murder victim families (yet).

Gee mate, you have great sense of humor….not.

Rat patrol ride, sounds exhilarating.

I agree with G-Fresh. This ain’t no fresh scene G.

Gungahlin Al12:12 pm 23 Feb 09

So does the very cool (no pun) esky bike bring up the rear the same way a Harley trike always rearguards biker gangs? 🙂

(Except for Harleys I think the trikes usually carry all the tools and spare parts…)

tylersmayhem12:07 pm 23 Feb 09

Holy crap you live on the edge JB!

AngryHenry said :

These guys are the best side of the Canberra cycling community.

G-Fresh, why don’t you wrap yourself up, in an airtight plastic bag.

Best side of the Canberra cycling community? bahahaha cracker.

Why not take a slice of your own advice there and wrap it up tiger. Or just go and ride a silly bike around Canberra with the only intention of getting as much attention showered on yourself for being a nincompoop as possible. Yes indeed what a great time to be had. Exciting. Stupid bikes through the city. Inventive. Fresh.

Kewl bikes!

and cute cartoons.

jakez said :

I think it would be pretty easy to push over a tall bike AngryHenry, what with the high centre of gravity. The fall would equal maximum damage too.

You miss the point entirely. Why would you want to threaten someone who has just as much right to that space as you do? I don’t hit people for taking too long at the ATM or standing still on an escalator, as much as I’d like to it’s not the done thing.

Let’s all take a few deep breaths and count to ten.

They’re certainly trouble makers

I too share some concerns about these ‘Rats’. They are clearly some form of fringe group. They seem only to want to draw attention to themselves.

I have some advice – Canberra is not the place for bizarre attention seekers. Either fit in with the rest of us or leave.

JB – I am concerned that you have fallen in with the wrong crowd.

I think it would be pretty easy to push over a tall bike AngryHenry, what with the high centre of gravity. The fall would equal maximum damage too.

These guys are the best side of the Canberra cycling community.

Trix making threats doesn’t do anything for your cause, and besides you need to be able to reach them to hit them, good luck with the guys on the tall bikes. I suggest you dismount your high horse and walk on by.

G-Fresh, why don’t you wrap yourself up, in an airtight plastic bag.

Both of you sound like you’ve never done anything fun or intersting before.

It’s something you do to have fun, Kizzle. It’s not really rocket science or anything ….

; )

I dont get it

Rodrigo’s high handlebars are in a couple of shots, but he suffers from being shacked to me and recording the moment rather than taking part in it.

At least if they *were* drink riding they all appeared to be wearing helmets.

Some cool bikes there, but no pics of Rodrigo?

Trix & G-Fresh – maybe you guys should get a room, and leave the rest of us to have a life, which you don’t seem to have.

Trix = WAH WAH WAH WAHH WAHHHHH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAHHHHHHH

*arm flail*

Wish these rat bicycle people would wrap it up. They’re a hazard!

Trix – kindly remove whatever has been inserted in your a$$.

And that also applies for the footpath on Wattle St between the creek and the shops. It’s NOT a friggin’ bike path, and *pedestrians* have right of way. People who make me jump out of the way on the footpath give the rest of us cyclists a bad name.

Yeah, one of you tools was riding through Civic last week, and you had less control of your bike than a toddler with training wheels on. So ride somewhere where you aren’t likely to hit anyone; because if you hit me, I will hit back.

Gungahlin Al10:14 am 22 Feb 09

Looking at pics of your creation JB, I have to ask: why is it that so many of the rat patrol creations look like their riders have such a tenuous perch upon the rear edge of the seat that they are in constant peril of receiving a skidmark on their pants of the more painful kind? 😛

JB, did you meet a guy called Jas(on)?

hmmmm, drink riding- that sounds safe (and legal!)

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