19 February 2009

Riot advice sought on an unwelcome car

| dr.evil
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Johnboy’s garaging cars at home poll reminded me to ask you lovely people for some advice…

We Evils live very near to a town centre – i.e. our street has parking sign only allowing parking within certain periods of the day.

This seems to make most people park in the paid parking areas closer to their workplaces.

However, we seem to get a car consistently parking up on the grassed area between the road and our home (on what I would call our front lawn).

Therefore, to cleverly avoid getting a parking ticket this car is disguised to be garaged at our residence. I guess they have avoided paying for parking and/or are looking after the health with the extended walk into work.

I know that technically I can’t do anything about the 6m of land up from the road, but what about the car? I’d like to hear your thoughts…

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he might be a punk. and feeling lucky.

tylersmayhem2:58 pm 20 Feb 09

Build a front porch, purchase some overalls, a rocking chair and a shotgun, learn to play banjo, start a chewing tobacco habit etc etc…

Or just aim the gun and say “get the f**k” off my lawn” in the best Clint Eastwood voice you can muster.

Being serious though, I think a note on the door saying you’ve informed the cops is the go!

I remember as a kid my parents had a similar problem when living in Sydney. The solution was to get a few large boulders and plonk them down.

proofpositive11:16 am 20 Feb 09

place some road spikes in the long grass… they will only park there once.

A printout under the windscreen wiper of all of the postings to date might just get the message across without provoking a road-rage incident.

Instant Mash said :

BerraBoy68 said :

Ryan said :

BerraBoy68 said :

Let me guess…. Charnwood?

Oh hahahaha…

You’re just jealous of our drunk teenage car thieves!

yeah, that’s it.

how many derros have car boots for landscaping supplies?

especially in charnwood??

OT, if you put a really big white sticker on the windscreen, you can have a contact number as well, so the car owner can have a little chat with you. granted, they will be a bit offside initially, but might be amenable to a monetary solution. may make civic parking more attractive and cheaper…

screaming banshee said :

deflate the odd tyre perhaps

And risk having every shrub in your garden stripped, or similar, or worse, in payback? Not worth it!

What’s happened to the Canberra term ‘nature strip’ I wonder? It’s like Civic – the de facto official term.

actually…rethink on that…..take a pic of his car…parked on your lawn and photoshop graffiti and various damage onto it and stick THAT on the driver’s window……

do a search on the internet…..find a pic of a car same make/model/colour that is absolutely trashed (accident or otherwise)…..print it out and stick a copy on driver’s door….i am sure he will get the message…..

Woody Mann-Caruso said :

You want something that’s going to hit them later, far from your home, and hit them hard. Superglue their fuel cap shut.

LOL – That is pure evil, also there is no way of proving where the car was when car and super glue met (unless the guy \ girl also happens to read RiotACT)

You could paint a mural of a garden on the car – that way you could begin to look forward to it being parked there!

Woody Mann-Caruso9:47 pm 19 Feb 09

You want something that’s going to hit them later, far from your home, and hit them hard. Superglue their fuel cap shut.

Large rocks or other barriers others have mentioned, do the trick

Park your car (if you have one) where they park or put a few railway sleepers or other sizeable garden things where the car parks thus denying them the space. You could always call ASIO and say the occupants are dressed in traditional Afghan wear and are always carrying bags of fertiliser.

grunge_hippy9:31 pm 19 Feb 09

to the poster who said remove the plates and throw them away… better idea, take the plates and go for a burn up the parkway a couple of times through the speed cameras…

Do not damage or interfere with the vehicle in any way as you will be liable.

I’m sure Dr. Evil knows these are jokes. Kind of.

Put a lifesize cardboard model of a parking inspector on your front lawn, just near where he parks.

BerraBoy68 said :

Ryan said :

BerraBoy68 said :

Landscape the nature area, or just dump half a meter of sand/dirt/mulch on the nature strip in strategically placed little piles, just big enough to make them think you’re landscaping.

Then sit back and watch as the derros rock up and shovel it into their boot

Let me guess…. Charnwood?

lol, nah. hasn’t happened to me personally, i was referring to the piles that get dropped on the side of the road for landscaping. I’ve often seen people pull up and start shovelling it into their cars. Drakeford Dr at Oxley and Athllon Dr at Phillip are two that spring to mind.

well if it is a median strip you’re describing a short complaint to the city rangers as suggested in post one will probably work. If it’s your private property write them a short note, telling them to stop parking there.

Sorry, from ‘there’

Just out of curiosity, how is the car ‘disguised’ so as to be parked at your residence?

I would leave a pleasant note on the car saying something along the lines of ‘dunno if you’re aware but where you’re parking is illegal. Hate to see you get booked’.

If he/she moves then well and good. If not escalate it from their with the rangers. God knows they love writing parking blisters

I’ve had the same problem in the past, living in a similar area. I was out the door for work before the car would arrive and I’m not going to keep poking my head out front when I’m at home after work.

Metal stakes and some string did the trick pretty easy. I had them lying round from errr… can’t remember.

Do not damage or interfere with the vehicle in any way as you will be liable.

Here’s a really bizarre idea – talk to the driver. If he/she is an asshat, then get creative.

Instant Mash6:35 pm 19 Feb 09

BerraBoy68 said :

Ryan said :

BerraBoy68 said :

Let me guess…. Charnwood?

Oh hahahaha…

You’re just jealous of our drunk teenage car thieves!

Pommy bastard6:07 pm 19 Feb 09

A dribble of blood on the drivers side window and door handle, and a leaflet on HIV dropped on the floor nearby.

Depends on the car but prawn shells in the wheel covers is always fun (You get to eat the prawns too!)

Ryan said :

BerraBoy68 said :

Landscape the nature area, or just dump half a meter of sand/dirt/mulch on the nature strip in strategically placed little piles, just big enough to make them think you’re landscaping.

Then sit back and watch as the derros rock up and shovel it into their boot

Let me guess…. Charnwood?

Despite the range of innovative ways to drive this car away, damaging someone’s vehicle seems excessive and could provoke further damage to property and person. Act like a growup. Either talk to them or leave a note making the person aware that you have their number, that they are parking illegally and are a nuisance. Sorry couldn’t get into the spirit of this post as I’ve had too much property vandalized by yobos in the past.

BerraBoy68 said :

Landscape the nature area, or just dump half a meter of sand/dirt/mulch on the nature strip in strategically placed little piles, just big enough to make them think you’re landscaping.

Then sit back and watch as the derros rock up and shovel it into their boot

Landscape the nature area, or just dump half a meter of sand/dirt/mulch on the nature strip in strategically placed little piles, just big enough to make them think you’re landscaping.

S4anta said :

copious amounts of bird seed in the trees above (if any)? A few days of the car being used a toilet ought question their choice of park me thinks.

No – just scatter the seed around the car. The birds will perch on the car to look for danger before and after they fly down for a feed. You could encourage the localisation of the abstract art effect by putting the seed by that part of the car, for example by the driver’s door.

If you attract parrots they’ll also nibble on the car while they’re waiting for their turn.

proofpositive5:30 pm 19 Feb 09

You need the assistance of a good vigilante group: http://www.guardianangels.org/
Nothing better than a good neighbourhood lynching. You could start up your own local chapter.

technically, if they’re on the nature strip, they are commiting a parking offence (not stand close and parallel), so grey ghosts could be alerted.

otherwise, a couple of large sleepers, one in front of front tyres and one behind the rear. spike into ground, mebbe w/ concrete. film reaction, post to you-toob…

Instant Mash4:54 pm 19 Feb 09

hairy nosed wombat said :

Dr Evil, Whatever you decide to do, remember, they know where you live, you do not know where they live.

My favourite solution would be, follow them home one night, and leave a note in there mailbox saying “parking fees are 1 slab per week (no light beer either)”.

You get free beer, They get cheap parking.

That’s a great idea.

Alternatively, put up a “No Parking” sign.

Mr Evil said :

Place an “I Vote Liberal” sticker on the back window.

You know I have a ‘Viva la Howard Revolucion’ sticker on the back of my car (mainly because I think its funny, Howard sucked by the end of it) and I haven’t actually experienced any vandalism.

I thought something was going to happen to my car but nothing.

hairy nosed wombat4:48 pm 19 Feb 09

Dr Evil, Whatever you decide to do, remember, they know where you live, you do not know where they live.

My favourite solution would be, follow them home one night, and leave a note in there mailbox saying “parking fees are 1 slab per week (no light beer either)”.

You get free beer, They get cheap parking.

Clown Killer4:48 pm 19 Feb 09

Excellent idea – it could go right next to the “Canberra Grammar Rowing Club” sticker

Place an “I Vote Liberal” sticker on the back window.

Clown Killer4:44 pm 19 Feb 09

While you’re at it put a huge sticker that reads “R.I.P Mick” accross the back window.

Spend a small fortune on Frangipani stickers and arrange them in Southern Crosses all over the vehicle.

Take photos.

If I was you (and it appears I am), I would go to a local park and collect as much dog poo as possible in a bucket, then arrange it minefield style on the grass beside all four doors.

Instant Mash4:29 pm 19 Feb 09

Leave a note on the window saying that you’ve informed the police. Hopefully, that’ll scare them away.

“In terms of solving your problem, have you tried calling TAMS and reporing an abandonned vehicle? Hust tell them its been there for a fornight … with any luck they’ll come and tow it away.”

Unfortunately, if the vehicle is registered, they can’t have it removed.

“Plant a couple of shrubs on the strip, then put posts around them so the car can’t just drive over them. I think this would be a karmically neutral move. If you actually water them and keep the plants alive, it becomes karmically positive.

Failing that, large rocks on the ground tend to deter cars.”

Need to submit a nature strip developement application form for that one :/

“But to be more annoying……replace confetti with cooked undrained spaghetti. That stuff is sticky.

Then they can go to their friends, ‘Some bastard al dente’d my car!’.”

Hahaha, priceless!

You need to call parking operations. They are the ones who can issue parking tickets. Just make sure that your own vehicle is parked in a legal spot when you do, as they won’t discriminate against just that vehicle and will book anyone in the street (warn your neighbours if you like them)

neanderthalsis4:26 pm 19 Feb 09

Run superglue around the window trim and under the windscreen wipers. Or, get a forklift and shift the car to the other side of the street.

51modelBloke4:22 pm 19 Feb 09

Prawn heads in the air vents, an acquaintance had prawns heads shoved in his doors behind the window trim whilst on his honeymoon (years ago), had to sell the car to rid the smell

“in terms of solving your problem, have you tried calling TAMS and reporing an abandonned vehicle? Hust tell them its been there for a fornight … with any luck they’ll come and tow it away.”

I’ll vouch for this – it works : )

S4anta said :

copious amounts of bird seed in the trees above (if any)? A few dys of the car being used a toilet ought question their choice of park me thinks.

Awesome one S4nta – not illegal, non-confrontational, could be construed as totally innocent!

Remove his/her number plates and throw them away.

Wow…you guys are amazing…and here I was calling myself dr.evil. There are some interesting suggestions – I might need to discuss it with the family tonight and hatch our (evil) plan. I will let you know.

http://www.liquidass.com/ in the air vents. Problem solved. Hilarity will ensue.

Would like to know how it’s disguised. I got a ticket earlier this week for parking on the strip in Braddon “Park on verge/path in built-up area” $72. Ouch.

You guys are creative!

cover the offending car in various colours of contact….including the windows…..

copious amounts of bird seed in the trees above (if any)? A few dys of the car being used a toilet ought question their choice of park me thinks.

Call one of those “we want your car for junk, free pick up” that will get rid of it 🙂

Then they can go to their friends, ‘Some bastard al dente’d my car!’.

Confetti and tinsel on the car.

Harmless, but a little bit creepy.

But to be more annoying……replace confetti with cooked undrained spaghetti. That stuff is sticky.

Potato in the exhaustpipe.
Or expanding foam.

NoAddedMSG said :

Failing that, large rocks on the ground tend to deter cars.

Yes, but do it whilst the car is parked there. The look on the owners face would be priceless.

Do you reckon they might be deterring thieves away from your house by making your house look like it’s always occupied?

That would be heaps nice of them.

Siphon the tank every time they do it.

Get a few strong friends over, and turn the car 180 degrees. Mess with the owners mind.

ok, might need a lot of friends to do this.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy2:57 pm 19 Feb 09

Don’t damage the car. Plant some trees/shrubs with stakes around them on the spot where they park. If the trees/shrubs get damaged by the car, report it to the police.

I’d start off with a polite note. If that doesn’t work, call the relevant bureaucrat. If that doesn’t work, come be bitter about the Government with me.

Put a “for sale” sign on their window.

screaming banshee2:44 pm 19 Feb 09

deflate the odd tyre perhaps

Build a front porch, purchase some overalls, a rocking chair and a shotgun, learn to play banjo, start a chewing tobacco habit etc etc…

Yup, city rangers. The parking arrangements are obviously intended to stop non-residents from parking in your street so I’m sure they’ll see it your way.

NoAddedMSG said :

Plant a couple of shrubs on the strip, then put posts around them so the car can’t just drive over them. I think this would be a karmically neutral move. If you actually water them and keep the plants alive, it becomes karmically positive.

Failing that, large rocks on the ground tend to deter cars.

Only if you don’t flout the water restictions, right?

Got a hammer?

get a great big white sticker, and cover their front windscreen.

Buy a wheel clamp and charge them $50 to unlock it.

Plant a couple of shrubs on the strip, then put posts around them so the car can’t just drive over them. I think this would be a karmically neutral move. If you actually water them and keep the plants alive, it becomes karmically positive.

Failing that, large rocks on the ground tend to deter cars.

And if you do decide to do something about it, when/if you see them, tell them it was the people up the road, and you tried to stop them. Otherwise, it may be not Karma seeking retribution.

Clown Killer2:25 pm 19 Feb 09

I suspect that the guy might just be lucky. Years ago I used to rent a place in Turner and being a group house we used to have cars all over the shop. Every couple of months one of us would get a parking ticket for being up on the grass curb. From recollection the infringement used to read “Parked on ACT Land – Other” which I always thought to be odd given that just about everywhere in Canberra is ACT land.

In terms of solving your problem, have you tried calling TAMS and reporing an abandonned vehicle? Hust tell them its been there for a fornight … with any luck they’ll come and tow it away.

Is it merely annoying, or actually a nuisance.

If it’s a nuisance, I’d write a polite letter, and stick it on their front window. Hopefully they’ll desist.

If it’s merely annoying, I’d suffer it out, and hope that Karma gets them.

If it’s really annoying, write on the windows, in Lipstick “Don’t park here”
If it’s really really annoying, smear something disgusting on their door handles,e.g. Anthrax.
If it’s really really really annoying, have them towed away.
And then hope that Karma doesn’t get you.

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