21 December 2009

Silly Season Headlines

| paperboy
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It’s the silly season. Half the town is already on holidays and the other half wish they could join them.

So for something a little different let’s see some headlines you’d like to see in 2010. Keep them to around 10 words, and let your creativity do the rest.

Here are some (lame?) examples to get you going:-

He’s Back – Fireworks as John Hargreaves becomes Chief Minister.

Love In – Canberra cyclists and motorists sign a peace deal.

Housing Crisis – Gungahlin declared a slum (Gungahlin Al outraged)

Raiders win 3-in-a-row – Pity about the other 14!

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Canberra Times Sources Interesting Community Story From Somewhere Other Than RiotACT!

georgesgenitals6:25 am 24 Dec 09

I’m Dreaming of a Wet Christmas – because it probably will be!

ACT Government Eradicated! Federal government finally recounts the gerrymander referendum & realises ACT people voted as they thought – a place as small as Canberra doesn’t need a legislative assembly.

By-line: Pubes rejoice! Back on the comgov gravy train.
Bye-Bye line: Oh shit, Krud wants us to WORK now???

SolarPowered9:25 pm 22 Dec 09

Town Planner Appointed in Gungahlin – apologizes for the work experience kid who used Sim City 2 to design town centre

“Canberra planning makes sense…”

Walking around Civic today I worked out the rationale for Canberra’s design. Its a set for a zombie movie.

canberra to get a new dragstrip
v8 supercars to return to canberra

Hells_Bells744:32 pm 22 Dec 09

pepmeup – Whilst I did enjoy your comment, I really really wanted to run up behind you with a ‘red’ pen and fix your multitude of errors.

🙂

Canberra Beach- Storey on how global warming and see level rises have made Canberra a Coastal town, Queanbeyan underwater.

GST Doubled and income tax scapped- Pm decided to make a hard call on tax and brings incentives for people not to spend but earn.

Canberra More than Pollies- storey about Canberra the place, not the metaphor for federal government.

Australia Gets a real finger spinner- with the increase in Shrilankans in Australia we find a real finger spinner.

Kevin Rudd Talk – Rudd admitts to making up words

Helicopter crashes into ‘Rhizome’ ‘sculpture’ on cnr of Barton Highway and GDE. No-one notices.

Sub-standard – Canberra Times acknowledges favourite word – and self descriptor

brumbies on fire – not a story about their on-field performances, but about some players caught in the wrong place at the wrong time behind a dickson eatery

Cotter Dam Completed On Original Budget – Water Charges to Fall – ACTEW discovers original estimate was correct all along.

Canberrans Happy with Government Consultation – Story about how Canberrans are happy with the level of government consultation now that a public servant has been assigned each household to personally keep them informed and ask their opinion about anything happening anywhere.

Action On Buses – Action introduces a new bus timetable that actually takes you quickly to where you want to go at a convenient time – Cyclists complain.

“Statue of Sonic Stanhope Stands Sadly Silent” – a poignant story about how our Chief Minister manages to commission and purchase a 30′ statue of himself, complete with speakers which play his favourite audio grabs every ten seconds, but the Waldorf have it muted due to noise complaints

… speaking of which:

“Double-Glazed Waldorf Salad Served Vanilla Icy Cold” – the story of Brian, previous owner of Toast, getting his revenge upon the Waldorf by blasting the hotel with Vanilla Ice’s track “Ice Ice Baby” 24×7 until they relent, apologise to the local music industry, and agree that they really should install double glazing and shut the hell up already

eyeLikeCarrots8:58 am 22 Dec 09

Political Beef – Calls to Close Lake Side Burger Van

Chinese Christmas – Have Your Say on Internet Filtering

Moth Invasion – Kevin Rudd Opens Wallet to Pay for Round of Beers

Chief Justice Higgins Retires – Murderers face prospect of actually being imprisoned

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