Simon has 100% nothing to say about 60% of prison…

By 25 October, 2007 14

Q: What do you do when it is a really slow news day, you really have nothing of relevance to say and desperately want to get your ugly face in the media?

A: You put out a totally meaningless press release that says absolutely nothing of relevance and tell people nothing meaningful other than our local prison is now 60% complete.

What is particularly significant about 60%?

Nothing really… Other than it still is not finished and useless for detaining anyone at this time.

Nope, the real gem is that Simon Corbell really wants to let us know that the prisoner effluent will be used to irrigate the vegetable patch and the water will be environmentally warmed through solar heating in the showers as they bend over to pick up the soap.

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14 Responses to Simon has 100% nothing to say about 60% of prison…
#1
caf3:09 pm, 25 Oct 07

I love it that you have written a news article about how something isn’t news.

How postmodern.

#2
Lord Mælinar3:20 pm, 25 Oct 07

prisoner effluent treated vegetables are not legal for human consumption.

Poo has to be at least 2 stages away from Humans ie: poo treated veggies get eaten by pig, pig gets eaten by human.

Sounds like somebody might need to make some quick changes to the plans with effect this post.

p.s. I know you are reading.

#3
Ingeegoodbee3:27 pm, 25 Oct 07

I guess 60% finished could equate to the residents of Struggletown Heights being only 40% away from the search lights and sirens of Stanhopes Gulag

#4
VYBerlinaV8...the_or3:36 pm, 25 Oct 07

Those prisoners can eat sh*t, as far as I’m concerned. And it sounds like they will be.

#5
barking toad4:28 pm, 25 Oct 07

Be more interesting if he explained which company has been granted the contract to install the security system for the goal and who the principals are.

#6
josh4:45 pm, 25 Oct 07

i don’t get the “gem”..?

recycling water – a big issue? watering veges is probably a bit rough, but watering the grounds with treated water is a tops idea.

and, solar heating? damn. saving energy, what a drag.

unless you weren’t actually being sarcastic about the gem. hrm.

#7
Sammy5:19 pm, 25 Oct 07

What is particularly significant about 60%?

It’s about 59.9% more than the percentage of the vote you’ll get at the next election?

#8
el ......VNBerlinaV85:26 pm, 25 Oct 07

Gold.

#9
Pandy12:01 am, 26 Oct 07

Contract? A mates of Simons got it?

#10
barking toad8:48 am, 26 Oct 07

mates = union connection

#11
Pandy9:38 am, 26 Oct 07

Unions=thugs=security firms=bikie gangs

#12
barking toad9:50 am, 26 Oct 07

Involves the complete security system, not guards

6 figures plus

#13
Meconium9:11 am, 27 Oct 07

Good on em. If we have to have a prison, then I’m glad it’s an environmentally friendly one. When you break the law, you should realise that you’re not only going to be bashed and raped if you get put away, but you’ll also have to suffer the agony of low-flow shower heads.

Personally I think we should put them on treadmills or exercise bikes to power the street lights on the highway or something.

#14
Ingeegoodbee2:10 pm, 27 Oct 07

GOLD!

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