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The changing rules of dating

By 1 August 2014 5

dating-rule-book

In such a short space of time we’ve moved into an age where the rules of dating have changed dramatically. No longer do we sit by the home phone waiting for it to ring, fearing leaving the house in case we miss THE call!

Once upon a time general dating rules dictated you had to wait three days before calling someone after a date, of course this wasn’t hard and fast but it kind of made sense at the time.

Now with communication so readily available through text, email, Facebook etc the rules have definitely changed, to what I’m yet to work out.

Since returning to the dating scene, post date communication has varied from a text minutes after, to a text later that night or a Facebook message or not hearing from them till days later.

You would think this would be a direct result as to how that person felt about you, that a text straight after would mean they were keen, a text days later meaning they’re not. This is entirely not so, which makes it feel more like the rules of dating are still working themselves out as we go along.

What about another situation, you happen to be on things like Tinder or eHarmony, what happens if you end up talking to two people you like and in turn go on a date with both of them within say a week of each other.

Traditionally this is what American’s consider ‘dating’ and is completely normal and expected, however in Australia we’ve never really embraced that idea.

Is it considered cheating? Or are Australians more open to the idea of dating compared to say 5 years ago?

With more avenues to meet people and communicate the waters of dating are becoming a lot more muddied. There seem to be a lot less rules and it’s a complete lucky dip as to how the person you’re seeing is going to react to different situation, none of it relating to how much they do or don’t like you.

What are the rules as you see them?

Samara is the Editor of Big Ink Magazine and spends her time writing and perusing the latest fashion. She doesn’t believe in true love or Prince Charming, but finding someone to enhance your life rather than hinder it.

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5 Responses to
The changing rules of dating
justin heywood 9:15 am
02 Aug 14
#1

What are the rules as we see them?

I’m not in the target demographic for this thoughtful little piece (married 20 years), but I’m amused to see that people are just as anxious as they ever were about dating etiquette.

I was hopeless at dating. Nothing worked. My ‘cool’ act always failed. My ‘moody, distant, but deep’ persona must have been equally pathetic.

It was sheer dumb luck that I even met my partner – she caught me off guard, being myself. I didn’t have time to think about how I should act.

Mysteryman 10:25 am
04 Aug 14
#2

I only have 1 guideline:

Anyone who thinks that there are “rules” to dating, and spends time analysing things like the frequency or duration between meetings and follow up communications, should be avoided. I’m not going to waste time playing a stupid game.

astrojax 10:58 am
04 Aug 14
#3

if you have to ask what the rules of datig are, then chances are there are none; and anyway, one couldn’t assume the object of one’s obsession / passion would know them, so what sense is there is slavelishly following such dogma?

has the riot become ‘dolly’ without telling anyone? :)

Samara Gentle 10:38 pm
07 Aug 14
#4

Mysteryman said :

I only have 1 guideline:

Anyone who thinks that there are “rules” to dating, and spends time analysing things like the frequency or duration between meetings and follow up communications, should be avoided. I’m not going to waste time playing a stupid game.

I think you’ll find people perform an analysis on most situations in their lives, why would dating be any different? At the very least if people aren’t saying they’re doing it, guaranteed they are ;)

Mysteryman 7:51 am
08 Aug 14
#5

Samara Gentle said :

Mysteryman said :

I only have 1 guideline:

Anyone who thinks that there are “rules” to dating, and spends time analysing things like the frequency or duration between meetings and follow up communications, should be avoided. I’m not going to waste time playing a stupid game.

I think you’ll find people perform an analysis on most situations in their lives, why would dating be any different? At the very least if people aren’t saying they’re doing it, guaranteed they are ;)

No, they aren’t. Women might be, but the guys are doing no such thing. You’ve been watching too many American sitcoms. Dating is not some enigmatic minefield requiring the sort of analysis and breakdowns that you’re undertaking. If he likes you, he’ll be in touch. If he doesn’t, he won’t. It’s not rocket science and it doesn’t require the mental gymnastics the fairer sex seem to dwell on.

Good luck with your dating endeavours. I’d encourage you to try it without the game/rules pretence and see how you go.

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