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What to do when the cops are after you

By 28 September 2006 13

The AFP have put out a media release on a silly lad who tried to get away form the police while driving under the influence.

But he had the brains in his head to turn himself in without further trouble, handily serving as an example for the cretins who think DJ McLaughlin “had no choice”.

Whoever wrote the media release for the police has an odd sense of language:

“he was arrested and charged with drive under the influence of drugs, drive whilst licence suspended, drive in a manner dangerous, and fail to stop for an accident”

Or has police-speak taken another new and bizarre turn?

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13 Responses to
What to do when the cops are after you
TAD 5:32 pm
28 Sep 06
#1

Not funny speaking just rattling off the charge names.

Adding a few INGS to the verbs would have converted it to normal language.

Vic Bitterman 9:59 pm
28 Sep 06
#2

The media release makes sense to me JB. These are the actual offences the scumbag was charged with – including a noticible absence of the ‘ing’ as TAD says above.

Maybe the CT thinks it’s ‘cool’ to speak in ‘cop talk’.

If you want future translations, please let me know. My first wife is a copper in the AFP here in CBR, and despite our separation we’re still on great terms…..

Spectra 10:35 pm
28 Sep 06
#3

Try reading them as they might be read out in court (based on my extensive experience watching TV programs set in court rooms), by sticking an “It is alleged that on the date in question, you did…” on the front. They read a lot more nicely then.

…Still, you can’t help but wish that they’d turn it in to proper English by, at the very least, sticking quotes around them or something – if they’re going to sacrifice readability for pedantry in the charges, they could apply the same standards to their use of our language.

TAD 8:27 am
29 Sep 06
#4

It’s just that you are not used to hearing those particuar charge names.

Eg If he was charged with “Murder” or “Burglary”, it would sound pretty silly to change it to “Murdering” or “Burglarising”.

As above a few quotation marks added would help you make sense of it all.

“e was arrested and charged with “drive under the influence of drugs”, “drive whilst licence suspended”, “drive in a manner dangerous”, and “fail to stop for an accident””

Mr Evil 1:31 pm
29 Sep 06
#5

Rule No 1:

Do not run from the Police – it only makes them angrier.

Absent Diane 1:37 pm
29 Sep 06
#6

Rule No 2: Don’t try and casually walk in the opposite direction… you are fooling nobody (learnt that one the hard way!!)

Mr Evil 3:09 pm
29 Sep 06
#7

“Rule No 2: Don’t try and casually walk in the opposite direction… you are fooling nobody (learnt that one the hard way!!)”

Ah, but were you whistling while you walked away?

Absent Diane 3:14 pm
29 Sep 06
#8

hehe – no I was too stoned to whistle.

VYBerlinaV8 10:42 am
03 Oct 06
#9

I too learnt Rule No. 2 the hard way when in year 12…

Maelinar 12:56 pm
03 Oct 06
#10

Perhaps the CT needs to update its spellchecker to do Grammar at the same time for when they cut and paste.

johnboy 1:04 pm
03 Oct 06
#11

EH?

Ari 1:18 pm
03 Oct 06
#12

Popular as it is to bash the Crimes, what has it got to do with this thread?

snahon 1:54 pm
03 Oct 06
#13

english speak well me. grammer good me is. canberra times journalist be can I ?

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