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Where can I burn two boxes of papers?

By 27 February 2014 24

I want to quickly get rid of papers with my name on it, so the easiest way is to just burn them.  Anywhere I can do this without the cops being called on me?

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24 Responses to Where can I burn two boxes of papers?
#1
dks00k10:25 am, 27 Feb 14

Sounds legit…..

#2
enrique10:44 am, 27 Feb 14

Have you heard of a shredder? It’s this cool machine that chews up paper and spits it out in a ripped up form that makes it unreadable.

You can even drop off bulk amounts these days to places like officeworks.

http://www.officeworks.com.au/retail/landing/Shredding-services

#3
MrBigEars11:07 am, 27 Feb 14

If you feel all Macgyver, you can soak them in water, pulp them up and compress them into logs, which you can then burn like a briquette. It’s the bastard love-child of identity protection and thriftiness.

#4
bundah11:48 am, 27 Feb 14

You call yourself the mentalist? lol

#5
Dante12:06 pm, 27 Feb 14

In your barbeque?

#6
colourful sydney rac12:18 pm, 27 Feb 14

The gates of the US embassy would probably be the safest place.

Just make sure you cover your face and yell ‘Allahu Akbar’ while doing it (it’s American for ‘I am legitimately destroying some documents, nothing to see here’).

#7
astrojax12:19 pm, 27 Feb 14

the waste paper basket always works on the teev.

redesign your house to include a fireplace.

ask a recently deceased acquaintance if they’d take your papers with them to the crematorium.

i’m running out of other ideas about now…

#8
Funky112:38 pm, 27 Feb 14

My cousin Vinny can do it for a small fee. No questions asked ;)

#9
Antagonist1:52 pm, 27 Feb 14

Dig a small hole in the back yard, add paper, pour on some kind of accelerant (petrol, acetone or metho all work well) and light her up! At this point you have the option of getting naked, putting on a tinfoil hat, rubbing yourself over with peanut butter and dancing around the flames naked. Once the fire dies off, fill the hole back in. Might be an idea to take the tinfoil hat off and put your clothes back on once you have finished.

Or you could stop being a tight-ass and invest in a cheap shredder from Kmart, Orroficeworks or similar.

#10
Primal1:57 pm, 27 Feb 14

You weren’t anywhere near the Sydney Building last week, were you?

#11
ausbradr2:01 pm, 27 Feb 14

Just use a large old saucepan or something and do it in your backyard on a day where fire danger permits (not on total fire ban or no fires without permit days).

If the cops show up, just tell them you’re destroying documents….. Unless of course you’re avoiding them for a reason???

#12
Holden Caulfield2:10 pm, 27 Feb 14

Use them to make pizza bases and do a taste test against Pizza Hut, see if there’s any difference, and then write a review for RA.

#13
astrojax2:11 pm, 27 Feb 14

..and anyway, wouldn’t the firies, not the constabulary, turn up first?

#14
astrojax2:48 pm, 27 Feb 14

Holden Caulfield said :

Use them to make pizza bases and do a taste test against Pizza Hut, see if there’s any difference, and then write a review for RA.

would go something like: pizza hut bases tasted bland. otherwise little difference.

#15
watto234:44 pm, 27 Feb 14

burning is the easiest way to get rid of them, yet you have time to post a question here and wait for a response…….

#16
bronal6:10 pm, 27 Feb 14

Do you know anyone who works at the Canberra Hospital? They have a good incinerator there.

#17
bd847:16 pm, 27 Feb 14

Norwood Park Crematorium in Mitchell might do it if you just tell them it’s your old grandma Jean in the boxes? That sounds legit too right?

#18
mentalist7:28 pm, 27 Feb 14

ausbradr said :

Just use a large old saucepan or something and do it in your backyard on a day where fire danger permits (not on total fire ban or no fires without permit days).

If the cops show up, just tell them you’re destroying documents….. Unless of course you’re avoiding them for a reason???

thanks for the only useful comment. if i have problems, i’ll pretend im cooking sausages

#19
HiddenDragon10:24 pm, 27 Feb 14

I think you will find that, aside from legal niceties, the advice about shredding is probably the most helpful, and practical. I wish you luck in trying to burn substantial quantities of paper quickly and fully without causing enough smoke to stir all but the most tolerant and relaxed neighbours into action. The key is proper ventilation, so anything which is almost fully enclosed – like a saucepan – will not be as effective as you might think. (The latter opinion is based on distant recollections of my father’s “burn off” activities in the days when that was still permitted – I have a shredder!).

#20
Spiral7:39 am, 28 Feb 14

Morwell?

Though it is a bit of a trip from here.

#21
PantsMan1:16 pm, 28 Feb 14

Have Labor and The Greens outlawed fire now?

#22
Here_and_Now8:41 pm, 28 Feb 14

How did it go?

The temperature’s dropping, so the “fireplace logs” idea will make sense soon if you haven’t done anything yet and have a fireplace or know somebody who does.

You could even shred before you papier-mache into logs or blocks if you want that extra protection.

#23
Masquara1:39 pm, 01 Mar 14

I have a fireplace. You can burn your papers in it in exchange for a good bottle of red.

#24
Weaselburger8:36 pm, 02 Mar 14

just put some rocks in the boxes and dump the in the lake….
There’s so much junk in there already that no one will find out

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