22 March 2009

Dickson! The Pervefect Name

| JoyceStanton
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Last night I became aware of the fact that a very sentimental ring I had possessed for nearly 40 years had gone unaccounted for. I had recently removed it in the hopes of having its initial engravings restored.

As I tossed and turned in bed,an intuitive feeling came over me. I got the distinct impression that it was lying in the main parking facility at Dickson shops,where I had previously visited that oh so wonderful Woolworths there at aprx 8:30 PM. I was conjuring up images of the ring being displaced as I fumbled around for keys and falling to the ground.

Though it was 2:15 AM,I felt compelled to return to the scene before the next wave of customers could see the light of day…..and my ring. As I nervously arrived torch in hand,I made a rather startling discovery just up ahead. I saw a woman in a rather sprawled position against a 4 wheel drive with a man gyrating behind her. What’s worse,I also noticed there was a bloke only a few meters away watching the dynamic duo in action,standing behind a car fantasising. This depraved fella had noticed my torch light and growled,”What in the blazins are you doing here?” The merry couple proved oblivious to it all.

Needless to say I called off the search and contacted the local authorities as soon as I got home sweet home. In relating this incident to the copper I was greeted with no less than four muffled chuckles and much disrespect I felt. Finally I hung up the phone in disgust,not knowing if my call was even considered for investigation.

If I only I had heeded prevailing RiotACT sentiment and not patronised that scoundrel Woolies mob in the first place

*sigh*

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I had vehemently disapproved of a man wildly masturbating whilst uttering invectives at me in a carpark.

Perhaps a bit risque for a tagline.

It’s a pity.

Bloody ‘el! What the ‘el are you doing?!

Hehe!

Ah crap, botched the link. Try this one. My fault for typing with one hand! 🙂

Are you sure the man that growled “What in the blazins are you doing here” wasn’t this guy?

It’s a joke, Joyce.

Bigfoot – I got it (and it was funny!).

Nice one Joyce!

Try to keep up with the pop culture reference!!

JoyceStanton6:49 pm 27 Mar 09

Thanks Granny 😉 Unimaginable horrors,Bigfoot? I never declared such…I had vehemently disapproved of a man wildly masturbating whilst uttering invectives at me in a carpark. The argument that it was late night and all my fault thusly, I believe is founded in your our perverse interpretation.

It’s The One alright.

JoyceStanton said :

Update: I found my precious

“My precious”?

And this ring sent you on a quest to deepest darkest Dickson where you faced unimaginable horrors?

I think there is more to this ring than we first thought.

Good news about your missing ring, Joyce!

; )

JoyceStanton6:03 pm 27 Mar 09

Update: I found my precious ring inside the folds of my dear but mischievous,dog’s blankie this lovely morning.
Special thanks go out to the few that had the decency to show some genuine concern,with regards. And as for those of you that chose to morph this post into a deviant’s playground…keep playing with yourself.

Knew him at Albatross, hadn’t met him prior to that except maybe on the footy field

Certainly rings a very large bell but last time I saw any of these guys would have been in the mid-80’s. I’ll check my recruit school book and get back to you. In the meantime if you ask him if he joined up in Oct 85 and he say’s ‘yes’ that’d be him.

BerraBoy68 said :

vg said :

Lets see, born in 68 by the looks, ex Marist boy and ex-Navy. I have a funny feeling I know you. You’re initials wouldn’t be AM would they? Your professional naval interest being the weather?

Sorry VG, my initials are MD, (I’ve posted my name n RA before). But now I’m curious. There were a couple of Marist guys in my intake into the Navy and one of them was a Met. I think I know who you’re talking about.

Morgs?

Americanberran12:53 pm 24 Mar 09

Yeah by then, all participants had long “buckled-up”, I’m sure!

silver chairman12:50 pm 24 Mar 09

By the way I was told that the police did show up…………about 15 minutes too late.

What in the blazins’? Weren’t they some Lyneham mates from growlin’ dude’s narco-support group?

This is excellent, we now have an id on the onanist character in the drama. Now we just need to find out who the rough couple were!

silver chairman11:14 am 24 Mar 09

I surfed in here Sunday night after looking for some Brumbies info. Being a Dickson resident,I felt drawn to the dodgy title of the article that I’m responding to. When I read the “what in the blazins” part,I did a head spinner.
Ever since I became a Woolies employee,I have become involuntarily familiar with the Dickson subculture.Joyce,the man that “growled” those words to you was an English chap who will go unnamed for obvious reasons,who overuses that expression mercilessly,so was an easy spot. I spoke to him yesterday[the first time I ever approached him;turnabout is fair play] and he rather humbly apologised for his overall behaviour. It seems he was entertaining some Lyneham mates from his narco-support group Sat nite when your bad timing came into play.
Apparently,he was paranoid and drugged out of his mind and mistook you for his ex galpal who is considerably older than himself,whom he claims loved to stalk him. However in sober state,he realised you couldn’t have been her because she is now deceased. He also jokingly added that he might actually like to meet you in the flesh,with his pants on lol.
Joyce Stanton,I’m sorry for all the abuse you’ve had to absorb through that incident and the aftermath on this site. I was quite hoping that you had found your ring by now. I think it would have been ultra cool if you had realised it was on your finger the whole time :p
Cheers!

Joyce honey, as much as you might want everything to be nice, rose-smelling, and for a 2AM fossick in Dickson to be an unconfronting pasttime, the real world doesn’t work that way.

However, everybody has the right to not have the piss taken by a police officer when making a report. If they all giggle about it afterwards, and lose it down the back of the filing cabinet is entirely up to them, apparently they can be busy people.

I don’t know whats got in to the missus lately. She said she was just popping out for some milk.

> You mustn’t be familiar with Joyce’s earlier work. 😉
>
> There’s no way a decent child (ie. a private school student) would ever engage in such
> behaviour. It’s only the products of public schools that are to blame for society’s
> evils.

Ahh..yes, I remember now. She’s *that* idiot.

Ok, there is shagging outdoors and then there is shagging in the Dickson Woolies carpark.

No……..class.

Goodness me, astro, now Joyce is corrupting you also! Say it isn’t so ….

oh granny, now i’m all quivering in antici…

…pation.

It could be kind of Rocky Horror. Innocent twin set and pearls woman confronted by the debauchery that is Woolies.

this has all the makings of a fyshwick flick:

‘i lost my ring in dickson’

JoyceStanton said :

Sorry,but I don’t appreciate a man speaking to me in a menacing manner and masturbating at the same time in a public area. And precisely because of such,I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to locate a most treasured possession.

Was the weapon loaded?

And did you get the name of the policeman\woman who didn’t take you seriously?

…I’ll just type that up on my invisible typewriter…

She shouldn’t have patronised that scoundrel Woolies mob in the first place. Always heed prevailing RiotACT sentiment!

Did you ever find the ring?

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy3:42 pm 23 Mar 09

Not sure about that. A mate of mine went to Radford, and he’s seen more ass than a rental car.

;>

Holden Caulfield3:38 pm 23 Mar 09

rosebud said :

I bet they went to Daramalan – just around the corner from scene of crime.

You mustn’t be familiar with Joyce’s earlier work. 😉

There’s no way a decent child (ie. a private school student) would ever engage in such behaviour. It’s only the products of public schools that are to blame for society’s evils.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy3:25 pm 23 Mar 09

Wow, I can edit!!! But the old post remains.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy3:24 pm 23 Mar 09

The OP did say “man gyrating behind her”, but in my mind it’s still a hot lesbian getting done by another lesbian (though the do-er potentially has a steriod abuse problem).

Which, unfortunately, precludes them from both being hot.

So I don’t believe in them getting married.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy3:23 pm 23 Mar 09

The P did say “man gyrating behind her”, but in my mind it’s still a hot lesbian getting done by another lesbian (though the do-er potentially has a steriod abuse problem).

Which, unfortunately, precludes them from both being hot.

So I don’t believe in them getting married.

There is no tact on RiotACT.

And did you get the name of the policeman\woman who didn’t take you seriously?

There is no tact on RiotACT.

And did you get the name of the policeman\woman who didn’t take you seriously?

You’ll have to ask Joyce.

I’m guessing the third wheel in this story was merely keeping himself “occupied” whilst waiting his turn.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy3:14 pm 23 Mar 09

Actually, that raises an interesting question: was it a lesbian couple?

.

.

.

And were they hot?

*letting*, not ‘leetting’. Do’h! I really shouldn’t be doing this at work.

C’mon VY, you’re leetting us down. I was hoping for something like:

“I only like watching a couple having sex and a pervert masterbating in a car park when all three are hot”.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy2:59 pm 23 Mar 09

I was watching my wife bend over the freezer the other day and was overcome with passion, so I lifted her skirt and took her right then and there.

But apparently this wasn’t appropriate, despite the fact that we were married, in love and both willing participants.

At least, that’s what the manager in Woolies said.

My mate went to see the nurse the other day for his annual check-up.

She told him he had to stop masterbating.

When he asked why she said, “Because i’m trying to examine you”.

All this reminds me of the Billy Connolly gag where a bloke opens a porn mag and looks at a pic of a particulalry beautiful and well-endowed young lady. He gets all excited and starts having having ‘a little fiddle with himself’. Within moments is masterbating with wild fury and just when he’s worked himself up to the point of no-return a voice rings out “hey buddy are you going to buy that magazine or what”.

You should have told the cops that the car they were rooting on was parked illegally, they would have been out in a flash to get a start on their daily quota

Holden Caulfield said :

I bet the dynamic duo and the wanker all went to public schools.

Joyce is right to be outraged!

I bet they went to Daramalan – just around the corner from scene of crime.

Holden Caulfield2:04 pm 23 Mar 09

lisagrace said :

Did you go back in the light of day and find your ring?

/lets comment go through to the ‘keeper.

Holden Caulfield2:03 pm 23 Mar 09

I bet the dynamic duo and the wanker all went to public schools.

Joyce is right to be outraged!

Wipe it from your memory!

*boom boom*

When I used to work for Hoyts we’d often have couples having sex in the cinemas. We were meant to go get a manager and kick the offending couples out however I had a better idea. what I would do is shine the torch on the couple so that I and everyone else could enjoy the spectacle.

If I were in the same position as the OP, instead of calling the police I imagine I would have done the same thing that I used to do at Hoyts; shine the torch on them and enjoy the spectacle.

I may not have called the cops but it would have frightened the cr@p out of me too Joyce, just try to wipe it from your memory.

Did you go back in the light of day and find your ring?

*lol*

Who knows what they were hurling, AngryHenry! You’d have to ask Joyce.

Granny said :

I do confess I’d be a tad taken aback if somebody came at me hurling abuse and masturbating wildly in the Dickson carpark.

No pun intended of course Granny.

You make it sound like they were hurling more than abuse!!! ;o)

colourful sydney racing identity1:11 pm 23 Mar 09

I have been thinking about the locations that girlfriends and I *erm* let our passions get the better of us and am just grateful that no one had camera phones or generally carried cameras.

A tip for young players: There is no ‘behind a buss stop’ when it is round. Another tip: bus lights are really bright and illuminate everything, particularly bony white backsides.

I do confess I’d be a tad taken aback if somebody came at me hurling abuse and masturbating wildly in the Dickson carpark.

I do miss sex outdoors, but.

Clown Killer said :

Look at this situation from their perspective. Just because the couple didn’t mind one anonymous stranger masturbating while watching them fcuk doesn’t mean they wanted you to see them. Spare a thought too for the onlooker – he’s obviously having a hard time of it getting any sort of sexual satisfaction – to the point that he has to resort to this sort of thing – and there you go turning up out of the blue and spoiling the moment.

*giggling like a school girl*

Woody Mann-Caruso1:01 pm 23 Mar 09

Your vision was almost accurate. It’s just that the ring you found wasn’t yours and probably would’ve fit more than one finger.

Me, I’m just jealous.

Pool room.

Clown Killer12:56 pm 23 Mar 09

Look at this situation from their perspective. Just because the couple didn’t mind one anonymous stranger masturbating while watching them fcuk doesn’t mean they wanted you to see them. Spare a thought too for the onlooker – he’s obviously having a hard time of it getting any sort of sexual satisfaction – to the point that he has to resort to this sort of thing – and there you go turning up out of the blue and spoiling the moment.

Americanberran12:40 pm 23 Mar 09

ant said :

Footloose said :

This is probably a case of a very Bogan “9 1/2 Weeks”; groceries strewn across the carpark, perhaps KFC involved.

Oh, god, bloody hell! That is too much.
—————————————————————————————

And now you know what is going to happen… someone who is very angry (and illiterate) is going to come and flame everyone about it, who will reveal that they know just a little too much about the incident.

@Ant: Having been around these tempestuous environs just long enough to recognize how brilliant your follow-up comment was, I figured I’d better be the one that acknowledged just such…My only regret being- you typed it first.

Looks like I’m doing my shopping late-night next weekend.

I can understand that it was a little confronting, but seriously…you actually expected the police to care? Maybe in 1959, certainly not in 2009. They’ve got bigger issues to worry about. Be offended, get in your car, go home. End of problem.

“When did sex become a bad thing? Did I miss a meeting?” – Bill Hicks.

Maybe you could have asked the couple to help you find your ring, and hilarity would have ensued.

vg said :

Lets see, born in 68 by the looks, ex Marist boy and ex-Navy. I have a funny feeling I know you. You’re initials wouldn’t be AM would they? Your professional naval interest being the weather?

Sorry VG, my initials are MD, (I’ve posted my name n RA before). But now I’m curious. There were a couple of Marist guys in my intake into the Navy and one of them was a Met. I think I know who you’re talking about.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy said :

I wonder if this thread will spark any copycat style rootings?

So long as they’re hot and share the pics, right?

Pommy bastard7:11 am 23 Mar 09

This thread has been a my “chuckle of the day”, the replies are a hoot.

Bigfeet takes the crown with;

”Maybe he saw your ring on the ground and bent down to pick it up. She saw him down on one knee holding a ring and assumed he was proposing. After accepting his proposal, out of gratitude and excitement she offered her maidenhood then and there.”

Oh Joyce, all jokes aside, I’m sorry you lost your ring and do hope you find it. You seem like a very nice lady and I’m sure the experience was quite confronting.
You have every right to be offended and I’m sure there are actually laws against this sort of stuff but the police who are supposed to enforce these laws were busy in town picking up drunks, stopping fights and booking people for public urination.
My advice is not to venture out past midnight from now on as that’s when all the Gremlins are out. :*

Be afraid. Be very afraid!

*heh heh heh*

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy10:56 pm 22 Mar 09

I’m also afraid.

It’s the folksy trailer parkness coming out, I’m afraid.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy10:52 pm 22 Mar 09

C’mon Granny, rooting in the gutter of a carpark is so… well… 1980’s Queanbeyan.

I wonder if this thread will spark any copycat style rootings?

Why don’t things like that happen to me in carparks? I was in a carpark once.

Footloose said :

Yeah you guys are right. This is probably a case of a very Bogan “9 1/2 Weeks”; groceries strewn across the carpark, perhaps KFC involved.

KFC for lubrication? Or flavour?

JoyceStanton10:34 pm 22 Mar 09

Looks like another bad night ahead for me. Thank you all so kindly.

JoyceStanton said :

Sorry,but I don’t appreciate a man speaking to me in a menacing manner and masturbating at the same time in a public area. And precisely because of such,I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to locate a most treasured possession.

Let the man wank in peace for God’s sake.

Dry your eyes Princess

JoyceStanton9:53 pm 22 Mar 09

Sorry,but I don’t appreciate a man speaking to me in a menacing manner and masturbating at the same time in a public area. And precisely because of such,I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to locate a most treasured possession.

Me, I’m just jealous.

wow heading out to the dickson carpark at 2am with a torch to watch some people have sex with the pretense of pretending to look for a wedding ring.. that’s pretty weird.

What did you seriously expect the police to do? go charging out there with lights and sirens blaring to go and handcuff (they might like that too) them and drag them to the cells? Waste of police time and resources.. I would have laughed at you too

Footloose said :

This is probably a case of a very Bogan “9 1/2 Weeks”; groceries strewn across the carpark, perhaps KFC involved.

Oh, god, bloody hell! That is too much.

And now you know what is going to happen… someone who is very angry (and illiterate) is going to come and flame everyone about it, who will reveal that they know just a little too much about the incident.

So now the Canberra Dogging Society has got to find a new place for meets?

BerraBoy68 said :

Footloose said :

Gross. Seriously people…how many of you would consent to having sex in a carpark?

Joyce, I think you were right to call the cops and shame on those fat little piggies, sitting around their HQ having a giggle when someone might have been in trouble.

I’d like to know the ages of those involved. In my younger days, as a care-free sailor and man about town (WTF! I can’t believe I’m using used that phrase, I’m only 41 FFS!) I had sex in a variety of public places. One of my best mates happily recounts to anybody who will listen his having sex with his partner on the 13th green at Belconnen Golf course. Lets face it, young blokes will do it anywhere, anytime, any-which-way. As long as they are happy, there is minimal chance of getting caught and (I can’t stress this enough) it’s consensual, I care not. Some people get off on having risky sex – good luck to them. Again its something we all do. Now I’m older I’m just happy to have a caring wife. Having said that, even if those involved in this sorry saga weren’t 20 or even 30 somethings and were actually 50 or 60 somethings, good on them for having a go!

There are much bigger issues to get upset about in this town than consensual couples having sex in a car park in the early hours.

Lets see, born in 68 by the looks, ex Marist boy and ex-Navy. I have a funny feeling I know you. You’re initials wouldn’t be AM would they? Your professional naval interest being the weather?

bigfeet said :

(bigfeet)”Maybe he saw your ring on the ground and bent down to pick it up. She saw him down on one knee holding a ring and assumed he was proposing. After accepting his proposal, out of gratitude and excitment she offered her maidenhood then and there.”

I like the way you think!

I am curious. Why didn’t position your car, with high beams on, in such a way as to illuminate the place you suspected the ring to be?

and if the people offended you, I would suggest aiming the headlights at them and honking the horn would have been more fun. Now I am off to google my favourite pr0n video sites for “Dickson Woolies”.

Donewrong said :

TASK-FORCE! TASK-FORCE!

i LOVE YOU

TASK-FORCE! TASK-FORCE!

Hey JoyceStanton its astonishing the police didn’t investigate to get to the bottom of this.

So I decided to conduct my own investigation and I have concluded that the sprawled position and the man gyrating was most likely two people having sex. I hope that clears things up.

Maybe he saw your ring on the ground and bent down to pick it up. She saw him down on one knee holding a ring and assumed he was proposing. After accepting his proposal, out of gratitude and excitment she offered her maidenhood then and there.

And he thought “One you knock back is one you will never get, we can clear up this proposal misunderstanding after.”

If it turns out he paid for the trembler with a ring, you might want to consider just how bad you want it back

Yeah you guys are right. This is probably a case of a very Bogan “9 1/2 Weeks”; groceries strewn across the carpark, perhaps KFC involved.

VY, now you know where all the action is, you can probably take that new trenchcoat out for a spin sometime…

Footloose said :

Gross. Seriously people…how many of you would consent to having sex in a carpark?

Joyce, I think you were right to call the cops and shame on those fat little piggies, sitting around their HQ having a giggle when someone might have been in trouble.

I’d like to know the ages of those involved. In my younger days, as a care-free sailor and man about town (WTF! I can’t believe I’m using used that phrase, I’m only 41 FFS!) I had sex in a variety of public places. One of my best mates happily recounts to anybody who will listen his having sex with his partner on the 13th green at Belconnen Golf course. Lets face it, young blokes will do it anywhere, anytime, any-which-way. As long as they are happy, there is minimal chance of getting caught and (I can’t stress this enough) it’s consensual, I care not. Some people get off on having risky sex – good luck to them. Again its something we all do. Now I’m older I’m just happy to have a caring wife. Having said that, even if those involved in this sorry saga weren’t 20 or even 30 somethings and were actually 50 or 60 somethings, good on them for having a go!

There are much bigger issues to get upset about in this town than consensual couples having sex in a car park in the early hours.

Thanks. You just broke my wowserometer.

Pics or it didn’t happen

Yeah, who hasn’t done it in public at least once?! 😉

As if you would report it to the cops! (As long as it was all consensual of course)

How long did it take you to get in your car then go home, then call the Police.

Did they offend you?

Three against one says they were just dancing in the car park and you got the wrong impression due to poor lighting.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy6:43 pm 22 Mar 09

Or for the next RiotACT bar crawl.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy said :

Gross. Seriously people…how many of you would consent to having sex in a carpark?

Depends how hot she was, and whether I could find someone to operate the camcorder.

Could be an idea for the next RiotACT poll.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy6:30 pm 22 Mar 09

Gross. Seriously people…how many of you would consent to having sex in a carpark?

Depends how hot she was, and whether I could find someone to operate the camcorder.

Yeah Saturday night, they would have been sitting around doing f*ck all.

“Gross. Seriously people…how many of you would consent to having sex in a carpark?”

My experience would indicate about a gazillion. Carparks, the hill on Vernon Circle (affectionately known as ‘Mount Pounderama), toilets, front lawns……the locations of public displays of sex are endless

Gross. Seriously people…how many of you would consent to having sex in a carpark?

Joyce, I think you were right to call the cops and shame on those fat little piggies, sitting around their HQ having a giggle when someone might have been in trouble.

I hate to say this but there will be more than 4 muffled chuckles amongst RA regulars. After all this could even have been an arrangement between the three persons involved – who knows. As long as all parties concerned were above the legal age and willing participants no harm done I suppose. I wouldn’t expect impressionable kids to be out at that time of the morning so as to be harmed by such a sight.

How you think the cops would even start tracking down the three people you saw would be beyond me. Noting of course the participants could claim the cars involved not to have been theirs.

Good Thread though!

Try Aldi instead – you’ll save a fortune and will barely notice the difference.

Trunking symbols5:30 pm 22 Mar 09

+3

Wowser scum.

+2

But very tastefully written 🙂

You’re a braver woman then I getting out of bed and heading to a Dickson car park at that ungodly hour!

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy5:22 pm 22 Mar 09

+ 1.

The cops have enough to do. If both persons are willing participants, either have a chuckle of your own, or look away.

Why the hell would you waste the valuable time of the police for acts of public affection !?

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