Stanhope Corbell lectures the thirsty

Ari 16 November 2006 18

All you dedicated booze-hounds out there beware, you are about to be lectured about the evil of your ways every time you sit down at a Canberra cafe and want a glass of water (perhaps to rehydrate after a big night).

Anti-alcohol messages are to be affixed to your table’s water bottle and somehow this is “self-empowering” for you.

Our glorious leader [ED – Corbell actually, just it gets so confusing with Sonic’s ugly head on all his Minister’s media releases and his name in the page title] even comes up with a useful stats (plucked from his arse): “If each of the bottles is viewed by 20 people each day over two years the message will have been read 146 million times.” (He’s probably got the ever-reliable hyperbolist Monika Boogs to thank for that little gem).

My guess is the bottles won’t last two years, since I reckon they’d make a great addition as a talking point in many a bar at home.

[ED – The Nanny To The Nation, the Liberal MP Christopher Pyne, has also put out a media release saying how great he thinks it is to waste taxpayers money lecturing to them. A recent look at Chris Pyne’s efforts to be your mum is over on The Concatenate.]

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18 Responses to Stanhope Corbell lectures the thirsty
barking toad barking toad 9:52 am 17 Nov 06

Inspired by this marketing strategy CUB will embark on a furious campaign to convert non-drinkers by printing “Drink Beer” on all beer bottles.

boomacat boomacat 8:46 pm 16 Nov 06

I would like to get a hold of one of these things and fill it with goon

ant ant 8:33 pm 16 Nov 06

So reading some trite slogan on the side of a bottle of WATER is going to make us stop drinking alcohol? riiiiight.

pi55ed pi55ed 2:19 pm 16 Nov 06

I’ve got it!, i’m in a parralell universe where dumbshit ideas are the norm.

Perhaps the next thing the Glorified Town Council (GTC) will do is to arrange a squad of mobile arse wipers to come round and freshen up my behind after I take a dump, surely this would be another good way of wasting our tax money, I mean the ideas are endless.

Hopefully my alarm clock will go off soon and I will wake up and be back in a normal world again.

Apart from w_w and oz_uni, did anyone actually vote for this mob of braindead morons we have in the GTC?, I certainly dont remember suggesting any of them should get a start!

simto simto 1:54 pm 16 Nov 06

Shab, I think you’ll see a fair few, substituting for their current water bottles as they become damaged. After all, why would a canny business operator reject free produce?

Mr Evil Mr Evil 1:49 pm 16 Nov 06

Thumper, I thought that the pictures on the ciggie packets only increased sales because isn’t it the object of the whole exercise to collect the whole set?

I’ll swap someone a gangrenous foot for the black lung of death!

Mr_Shab Mr_Shab 1:38 pm 16 Nov 06

Fearless prediction – I’d say most licenced premises will give the earnest young officer bringing these things around a polite “no thanks” when offered a supply. The odd canny operator will take a few and use kitchen chemicals to remove the warning labels.

I’ll be suprised if you see many of them around. They’ll gather dust in a storage facility for a couple of years and get chucked out eventually, giving the admin officers a laugh as they lug them to the skip.

Another bad joke dreamed up by a bureaucrat with no grasp of reality.

biogaz78 biogaz78 1:06 pm 16 Nov 06

Wouldnt it be more effective to place such warning messages on ALCOHOL containers?!

Surely placing these messages on water bottles is preaching to the converted …

Thumper Thumper 12:09 pm 16 Nov 06

Damn, I’ll have to give up drinking….

It’ll be as effective as the pictures on cigarette packets, in fact, less so.

simto simto 11:51 am 16 Nov 06

There’s no stupidity like bi-partisan stupidity…

barking toad barking toad 10:40 am 16 Nov 06

Seeing some of the press releases from Pyne confirms that gumbiness is not limited to local councils.

Thumper Thumper 10:38 am 16 Nov 06

I note on the Concat that Chris Pyne is adverse to rugs…

Absent Diane Absent Diane 10:30 am 16 Nov 06

perhaps they could start printing them with pictures of fucked livers, bolbous red noses and the after affects of people fighting.. yeah it might be a little distasteful at the dinner table – but that smoking campaign has worked so well.. so there is no doubt this will work.

barking toad barking toad 10:26 am 16 Nov 06

The nanny state strikes again! Another blow struck for social engineering.

Who thinks up this shit? I have no respect for the mayor and even less for his sad off-sider but surely even they can’t be that fuckin’ stupid. Or can they?

The press release must be framed in the pool room as another example of our taxes at work.

The first waiter that minces over to my table to plonk one of those down will be told to shove it up his clacker and then bring me a Melbourne Bitter long neck to wash down the foul tasting carafe of house red I’ve just scoffed.

johnboy johnboy 10:22 am 16 Nov 06

And what do you know? The Boogs is there on the footer.

snahon snahon 10:13 am 16 Nov 06

146 million divide by 730 (days) and divide that by 20 people viewing the bottle = 10 000 bottles.

So 10 000 water bottles will be provided ?

Danman Danman 10:07 am 16 Nov 06

Self empowering – what a load of shit.

More like condescending.

At 29 – Am I not allowed to make my own decisions (within the laws) and live with the consequences without being told the equivalent of “I told you so”

DT DT 10:06 am 16 Nov 06

Not Stanhope – Corbell.

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