29 April 2009

5 potential swine flu cases in Canberra - It's not as bad as it sounds

| johnboy
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[First filed: April 28, 2009 @ 15:07]

Nothing online yet but the ABC news on the radio is reporting that five people in Canberra are being monitored for the dreaded swine flu.

The media loves to scare you, and in turn some of you love to be scared.

But before we get our panties in a bunch on this one bear in mind that everyone’s got the sniffles right now and these five people are only special for having the sniffles and having been within hundreds of kilometres of people with the real swine flu.

I’ve got a bottle of single malt that says more people in Canberra will die of plain old flu this winter than exotic killer pig flu.

Any takers?

UPDATED: ACT Health has an omnibus information page with all the info you need should fear of Mexican Swine Flu be keeping you awake at night.

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Woody Mann-Caruso1:49 pm 30 Apr 09

From Slashdot:

Costello: Well then who sets the swine flu threat level?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the group’s name.
Abbott: WHO.
Costello: The group that sets the level.
Abbott: WHO.
Costello: The group that…
Abbott: WHO!
Costello: I’m asking YOU who sets the level!
Abbott: That’s the group’s name.
Costello: That’s who’s name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: That’s who?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Look, you got a group that sets the level?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the group’s name that sets the swine flu level.
Abbott: No. WHAT is the Web Hypertext Application Technology Working Group.
Costello: I’m not asking you who’s the Web Hypertext Application Technology Working Group.
Abbott: Who sets the level!
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

peterh said :

neanderthalsis said :

How did the pig get on the roof?

The swine flu…

LOL!

classic comment. classic.

Tired, bored, so LMAO! Encourage away peterh!

Don’t encourage them, Peter! argh.

neanderthalsis said :

How did the pig get on the roof?

The swine flu…

LOL!

classic comment. classic.

If this flu really is a cross between avian flu and swine flu, it really should be called the flying pig flu (hopefully, perhaps, in more ways than one).

Bear in mind that it is the WHO that is issuing the warnings, and escalating the situation through the pre-set stages. The media is going off media releases (which is why the issue seemed to jump up suddenly over the weekend… soemone issued a release).

The WHO stages trigger pre-set activity off the neational pandemic plans. They’ve just raised the WHO Pandemic rating to level 5, it will be very interesting if they go to Stage 6. Human-to-human infections in 2 regions. That’s when they start to shut the world down.

neanderthalsis9:12 am 30 Apr 09

How did the pig get on the roof?

The swine flu…

There’s been bird flu, now the swine flu.

I think I’ll start speading a rumour via the net about platypus flu or maybe monotreme flu. See if any current affairs programs pick it up.

But seriously, I’d hate to be a doctor at the moment. The hospitals would be a nightmare. Every hypochondriac idiot with a sniffle would be convinced they have the swine flu.

I forgot to add that I find it all very entertaining. =)

I’m heading to the States on Monday, I’m so over this BS I’m so sick of the media hipe.
I’m ashamed of the ABC and other media trying to cram down our throats that 150 people have died when there has only been 7 or 8 now.

I wonder how much money has been spent so far on this farce?

Swine flu? Shit, I get it at least once a year

Boom, boom

Thow dolted daffe! Dulle are thi wittes. I wish I had your ****s in my hand in place of relics or of saints’ holy things. Come, cut them off; I’ll help you carry them; they shall be enshrined in a hog’s ****!

When/how did i get promoted from troublemaker to holligan? Or was it a demotion.

ps Good of you to identify yourself Thumper – a true conservative is easy to bait

We’ll see. Fifty bucks says the usual ‘law n order’ types here – you know ho you are – start looking someone to blame if this turns to shit.

shiny flu said :

We’re all going to die from Swine Flu. There is no cure. There is no prevention. Please go out and spend like there’s no tomorrow *because there will be no tomorrow!*

Want a Big Screen TV? Buy it. Want to eat-out every meal? Do it. Remember, your time is nigh!

Message from the Global Stimulate-your-economy Committee.

Yeah well I would. If Uncle Kevin had bothered to stimulate Tuggeranong yet. But noooooooooo. No stimulation in any of the 2900 postcodes AFAIK. This site is pretty funny: http://blowmy900.info/

AG Canberra said :

Many of you older riotacters will remember the Spanish Flu or the Hong Kong Flu etc – these flu’s developed exactly the same as the one we are seeing now. But world trade and political correctness stops us from calling it the “Mexico Flu 2009”.]

Spanish Flu 1918-1919. Hong Kong Flu 1968-1969.

I wonder how many of us “older riotacters” remember either of these flus? I’m fairly sure that even my dead grandparents were too young or barely even born to remember the Spanish flu.

Swine flu is a great name for it. Makes for heaps of great insults in a poncy Chaucer 😉 (hey there Granny) style.

We’re all going to die from Swine Flu. There is no cure. There is no prevention. Please go out and spend like there’s no tomorrow *because there will be no tomorrow!*

Want a Big Screen TV? Buy it. Want to eat-out every meal? Do it. Remember, your time is nigh!

Message from the Global Stimulate-your-economy Committee.

Granny said :

Where are my shiny shoes?! I want to die with my shiny shoes on!

Oh too funny! I just laughed unexpectedly and lost a mouthful. Delicacy forbids telling you whether it was just my drink …

Clown Killer7:43 pm 29 Apr 09

I heard on the radio (ABC 666) that the health services were vaguely worried about some chap in Queanbeyan (hardly a surprise there), but that concern has since passed. Did I mention that the sky might be falling?

Total media beat-up. 7 people on the entire planet have died. Sorry to be callous but but when put in perspective, lots more people will die of Whooping Cough this year and that is a disease well and truly here in Canberra.

Nothing sells like a bit of ill informed hysteria.

I’ve heard that people have been seen walking around Canberra today wearing face masks.

“The only known cure for Swine Flu has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment.”

Swine flu jokes – pigs might fly

I saw a pig with a zapatta moustache.

Should I be alarmed or just alert?

Neither,just don’t get too close or you might get ‘boar’-ed!

During his recent tour, Dylan Moran posited the question ‘doctor, is it concerning if there are chunks of ham in my urine?’ One to watch out for if you are intending to gorge on cheaper pork.

AG Canberra said :

peterh – eat away. You can not catch any sort of flu from pork meat. And we may just be able to get our hands on some cheaper pork loins as demand might drop a little….

woohoo! I will steer clear of offal though. bit too risky, methinks.

peterh – eat away. You can not catch any sort of flu from pork meat. And we may just be able to get our hands on some cheaper pork loins as demand might drop a little….

Peter, they (“They” being the World Health Organisation (and the CDC)) have.

I propose a new name for it, “The Other White Flu”.

neanderthalsis said :

p1 said :

“Pollution removed his helmet and shook out his long white hair. He had taken over when Pestilence, muttering about penicillin, had retired in 1936. If only the old boy had known what opportunities the future had held . . .”

Loved Good Omens, I’m a huge pratchett fan. Pity he now has alzheimers.

but even now we seem to be sorting out the major communicable diseases. AIDS can be controlled by something as simple as circumcising the males, tamiflu seems to work on all influenza strains that threaten us, SARS and ebola never amounted to much.

AG Canberra said :

Many of you older riotacters will remember the Spanish Flu or the Hong Kong Flu etc

I don’t know if too many rioters would remember the Spanish flu, that was 1917…

pratchett has alzheimers? nooo! must have been the nuclear power plant work he did.

why hasn’t anyone mentioned whether this swine flu is transmissable via pork meat? can i still eat bacon and ham, for goodness sake?

neanderthalsis1:36 pm 29 Apr 09

p1 said :

“Pollution removed his helmet and shook out his long white hair. He had taken over when Pestilence, muttering about penicillin, had retired in 1936. If only the old boy had known what opportunities the future had held . . .”

Loved Good Omens, I’m a huge pratchett fan. Pity he now has alzheimers.

but even now we seem to be sorting out the major communicable diseases. AIDS can be controlled by something as simple as circumcising the males, tamiflu seems to work on all influenza strains that threaten us, SARS and ebola never amounted to much.

AG Canberra said :

Many of you older riotacters will remember the Spanish Flu or the Hong Kong Flu etc

I don’t know if too many rioters would remember the Spanish flu, that was 1917…

People people,

Almost all new influenza strains come from either birds or pigs. Pigs are great at contracting a virus, mixing it with another one or two or three in its system and spitting out a whole new one! (often with no lasting effect on itself)

That’s what has happened in this case. Many of you older riotacters will remember the Spanish Flu or the Hong Kong Flu etc – these flu’s developed exactly the same as the one we are seeing now. But world trade and political correctness stops us from calling it the “Mexico Flu 2009”.

And yes – more people die from influenza strains that we already know about each year than almost every other thing that can kill us.

And if it does turn into a full blown pandemic – we’ll all learn a new term – “social distancing”.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy10:42 am 29 Apr 09

I’m traveling overseas tomorrow, another trip to another developing nation. If I die as a result of some random flu, at least I died living, not hiding from some kind of perceived threat.

Exactly. The real chance of suffering death or major illness from something like this is bugger all. You’re more likely to get killed in a car accident.

HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS DEAD!

Oh, that’s just a normal global flu season.

10-4, dead budgie!

GottaLoveCanberra said :

In the same way that some people don’t know that avian relates to birds. Heh.

Kind of like the ‘ignoranuses’ that think the Canary Islands were named after cute little birdies, hey! Damned fools.

GottaLoveCanberra11:36 pm 28 Apr 09

ant said :

There was a bloke on that quiz thing that those two on 104.7 do in the mornings this morning. They did some jokes about pigs and curly tails, and he joined in. Then they did the quiz, and asked what animal was causing teh current pandemic scare… and he didn’t know.

It dawned on me that some people do not know that Swines are Pigs.

In the same way that some people don’t know that avian relates to birds. Heh.

I suspect there’s a lot of them out there. Having kids, driving and voting. argh.

The universe may be sending this chap a message that perhaps it would be a good idea to repeat kindy! *guffaw*

There was a bloke on that quiz thing that those two on 104.7 do in the mornings this morning. They did some jokes about pigs and curly tails, and he joined in. Then they did the quiz, and asked what animal was causing teh current pandemic scare… and he didn’t know. It dawned on me that some people do not know that Swines are Pigs.

I don’t understand why we are not calling it ‘pig flu’. Who calls them ‘swine’ in this day and age? It’s so Chaucer ….

We discussed this at work today. Consensus was Swine Flu is actually a myth, and that people with the symptoms are just drunken bogans exhibiting their normal behaviour.

With bird flu infected birds were flying into penned birds areas. Did an infected pig swoop into a piggery and infect the herd of swine?

A horse walks into a bar and the barman says why the long face ?

The horse says I have cancer.

Seriously though, flu schmu…I’m traveling overseas tomorrow, another trip to another developing nation. If I die as a result of some random flu, at least I died living, not hiding from some kind of perceived threat.

You have to kind of think like a horse in need of a beer to fully appreciate how it relates to swine flu.

Is that what the horse one means? I just thought he was after a beer, but couldn’t work out how that applied to Swine Flu.

Always look on the bright side of death, ant!

omigod, everyone is DYING and you lot are making dreadful jokes! Ghouls!

I don’t get the horse one though.

A pork chop goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, you’re food, and we don’t serve food here.”

A pig just walked by.

And he was coughing!

The swine! *boom boom*

A pig just walked by.

And he was coughing!

you ham!

7.30 Report just had a brief confirmation that some of the Aussie cases being tested have been confirmed as having Swine Flu. I imagine teh ABC news site will have something shortly.

The patented Brooke-Taylor ‘shoe and teapot’ stress-management strategy has served me well for many a decade, Ozhair!

: D

BerraBoy68 said :

Bird Flu and Swine Flu?! JB can you please put fellow Rioter ‘Shiny Flu’ into permenant Moderation ASAP until this blows over. Tell him/her it’s a preventative measure…

The Granny @ 15 with “Where are my shiny shoes?! I want to die with my shiny shoes on!”

See what I mean? Granny’s aleady infected and has a need to die for ‘shiney’ things. Oh the humanity!

Bird Flu and Swine Flu?! JB can you please put fellow Rioter ‘Shiny Flu’ into permenant Moderation ASAP until this blows over. Tell him/her it’s a preventative measure…

Yep, Granny’s gone all Tim Brooke-Taylor on us 🙂

Woody Mann-Caruso6:40 pm 28 Apr 09

I just check here once in a while. Looks like today it’s gone to 4:

Phase 4 is characterized by verified human-to-human transmission of an animal or human-animal influenza reassortant virus able to cause “community-level outbreaks.” The ability to cause sustained disease outbreaks in a community marks a significant upwards shift in the risk for a pandemic. Any country that suspects or has verified such an event should urgently consult with WHO so that the situation can be jointly assessed and a decision made by the affected country if implementation of a rapid pandemic containment operation is warranted. Phase 4 indicates a significant increase in risk of a pandemic but does not necessarily mean that a pandemic is a forgone conclusion.

Jewish people wont get this flu.

stereo henry5:55 pm 28 Apr 09

i’m spooked

peterh said :

Steady Eddie said :

I heard someone on the radio say that the entire population of the world will be dead within six months because of this flu.

at least they aren’t singling anyone out…

Thankfully this isn’t a racist strain of flu….

And V8, you are a goose.

martyo said :

just coughed up some bacon? should I be concerned?

You might want to stop dating Miss Piggy for a bit.

neanderthalsis5:35 pm 28 Apr 09

“I heard the first of the four beasts say with a thundering voice, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a white horse; and he that sat on him had a bow; and there was given unto him a crown, and he departed as conqueror and to conquest.”

Those of a biblical bent would recognise pestilence as the first of the horsemen unleashed. I’m sure the soothsayers will be predicting ze end of ze vorld in no time.

Poor old Pestilence doesn’t get much of a chance since modern medicine spoiled it for him. War, Death and Famine get all the fun these days.

Steady Eddie said :

I heard someone on the radio say that the entire population of the world will be dead within six months because of this flu.

at least they aren’t singling anyone out…

Where are my shiny shoes?! I want to die with my shiny shoes on!

Steady Eddie4:59 pm 28 Apr 09

I heard someone on the radio say that the entire population of the world will be dead within six months because of this flu.

teapot, you are black 🙂

(Sorry, couldn’t resist)

I’m a teapot! I’m a teapot!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU GUYS ARE TAKING THIS SO LIGHTLY!!!!!!! DON’T YOU KNOW THIS HAS —KILLED— OVER 0.00000214% OF THE WORLDS POPULATION!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I love it when the media uses the word Pandemic. It does sound very scary, and love the over reaction of people who think they can make a quick buck from it. (Eg TWU vs Qantas).

I’m travelling to some of the countries which have confirmed cases next month, and to be honest I’m more worried about getting mugged than I am about catching bird, no strike that, SARS, no wrong again, Swine Flu. (Sorry about getting these pandemics all mixed up, at least two of them killed me last time around).

Lady_from_Holt4:27 pm 28 Apr 09

Just let me know when I can use it as an excuse not to come into work…

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy4:26 pm 28 Apr 09

I saw someone sneezing while being handed a speeding ticket. Does that count?

PreciousLilywhite3:49 pm 28 Apr 09

SWINE FLU…??
oh god…OH GOD….WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!
*jumps through window, runs off screaming*

just coughed up some bacon? should I be concerned?

I guess staffing up the Dead Carts will help with some of the unemployment. We’ll need people to sprinkle the lime, and others to dig the holes. Anything is good, apparently, if it Creates Jobs.

The various forums are alight today, and some people seem really spooked. And yes, a phenomenal number of people die every year from common flu.

The national plan for pandemic swung into action sometime last week, as world health authorities registerd that there was a threat. the media was evidently notified sometime on the weekend, and suddenly the plague is come among us.

We are very well prepared. A lot of work was done in 2005-on. And much of the plan lies in preventing spread should this thing be highly contagious. MInd you, if this was implemented it would massively magnify the effects of the recession.

The good thing about our level of preparedness is that even if it does turn out to the “the big one”, we are very well placed to limit its (health) effects here.

I’m goin’ with the whole thing being a coverup for the start of the Zombie Apocalypse

captainwhorebags3:13 pm 28 Apr 09

A sample of swine flu and a syringe is all I need to get a free bottle of single malt. Score!

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