Births and names 30-SEPT-06

Kerces 2 October 2006 78

In the general interests of getting tough on bogans and the causes of bogans (plus giving Kerces an excuse to buy a newspaper each weekend), we of the secret RA server room decided to start a weekly (or at least frequent) column of bogan-tastic baby names found each week in the Canberra Time classifieds.

This weekend I have four for your pleasure.

The first is fairly innocuous, except I think the first name may be made up: Thalie Lisa Shiels.

The second is Brontë Joh Conolly. I did wonder if this new daughter has been named for Sir Joh of Queensland, and the umlaut in Brontë just mystifies me.

The next announcement was headlined “The Jumbo Jett Has Landed”, proudly introducing to the world one Jett Lee Wilmot. Someone’s going to karate lessons as soon as he can walk.

I have saved best for last: Nevaeh Charlize Destanee McLeish. Neveah as in the very popular American name which is Heaven backwards, Charlize like the movie star and Destanee probably because her parents just liked the sentiment. Thank goodness parents can’t do anything about the spelling of their offspring’s surname.

UPDATED: ED – Samuel Gordon Stewart is appalled by the callousness of the monstrous Kerces in publishing this story and is wishing a gruesome fate upon us all:

I generally wouldn’t wish this on people, but I hope RiotACT get sued for this…the sooner they take down this monstorous nonsense, the better.

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78 Responses to Births and names 30-SEPT-06
neanderthalsis neanderthalsis 11:15 am 22 Jan 07

This from Reuters:

Spanish law prohibits names which could expose a person to ridicule or do not clearly indicate gender. Without registering her name, Velez cannot become a citizen.
(full story here: )
Maybe we could petition the Aust Govt for a similar law…

simto simto 9:00 am 06 Oct 06

Oh, if you’re going to be pissed off by all the gutless shites on this site, then your life’s going to be full of irritation.

Although I’d be spitting chips if someone linked me to John Howard too…

nyssa76 nyssa76 8:52 am 06 Oct 06

simto, I’m more pissed that my name has been linked with John Howard.

And the fact that canbogan is a troll whom I suspect I know but is a gutless shite. Simple really.

Besides, going from nyssa to my real name isn’t a stretch of the imagination.

Absent Diane Absent Diane 8:39 am 06 Oct 06

cadwallader was apparently another one I am glad I didn’t get named.

simto simto 8:34 am 06 Oct 06

I’m assuming we’ve just found out your real name then, Nyssa?

Thumper Thumper 8:01 am 06 Oct 06

My mum said she wanted to call me Blodget or Rastus.

Luckily sons of RAAF officers are not allowed to be called Blodget or Rastus.

nyssa76 nyssa76 9:52 pm 05 Oct 06

I notice that canbogan hasn’t responded. Gutless shite.

aich jay aich jay 5:30 pm 05 Oct 06

“My dad wanted to call me farquar, my mum would not have a bar of it. Although I have been issued with boring generic name, I am glad that I am not farquar.”

I almost got called “Reginald” after my pommie grandfather. Traditional names are OK so long as they aren’t dated, and don’t conjour images of socially challenged charactered from The Bill.

My parents relented and picked another name starting with “R”.

Absent Diane Absent Diane 10:25 am 05 Oct 06

When transformers first came out I thought that Optimus Prime was Optimus Brian… but that is a cool name change. would prolly cop a lot of shit for it.

When I was little I wanted change my name to chewbacca.

Danman Danman 10:20 am 05 Oct 06

Optimus Prime has to be the weirdest one I have heard of

Absent Diane Absent Diane 10:13 am 05 Oct 06

Hehehe – Megadude that is the greatest name of all time!!

Mr_Shab Mr_Shab 9:43 am 05 Oct 06

I’ve heard some crackers. The kiddy rocking up at school to be registered with a name pronounced “Gooey”, spelt “Guy” (mum read the name in a Mills and Boon and liked it).

The kid a mate went to school with called “Kerosene” (pronounced “Kerr-oz-en-ee”).

And my personal favourite – not bogan, I guess it just doesn’t translate well – a Thai dude I used to cook with whose son’s name was “Megadude”.

nyssa76 nyssa76 7:29 am 05 Oct 06

Wtf canbogan?

Gerry-Built Gerry-Built 12:42 am 05 Oct 06

oh… Xanthomyza, your post reminded me of a similar experience of my (previously mentioned) cousin… parents with a son they named Joaquin (Joaquin Rafael Phoenix) – but they pronounced something akin to ‘Jock-Quinn’ OMFG! It may have even been the same parents, because cousin was at a hospital in Newc @ time…

Mother-in-Law heard a talkback on 666 apparently mentioned a (now grown-up) girl who was named “Theresa Norma-Lee Green” – lousy parents…

Wife had family friends growing up in Brissy 15-20 years ago with surname ‘Balls’ – okay not a lot you can do to improve on that, but had son ‘Richard’ and daughter ‘Ophelia’. Old flame had a friend ‘Amos Plant’.

canbogan canbogan 11:41 pm 04 Oct 06

Vote for Anissa Katina Howard as the bogan name from hell

terubo terubo 4:17 pm 04 Oct 06

Better than Uppiyah Legge, I guess…

Xanthomyza Xanthomyza 3:51 pm 04 Oct 06

A friend of mine returned to Australia late last year to have her baby and be near her parents in Newcastle. She was talking to another new mum in the ward about their baby’s names. The other woman said her baby was called Wyveny. My friend asked her if it was some sort of Welsh name. She said, no, we just saw it written down one day and like the sound of it. My friend asked how it was spelt. The answer: YVONNE. Now that is bogan gold.

My favourite unfortunate name: Sonia Legge.

Mr Evil Mr Evil 3:35 pm 04 Oct 06

“Mr Evil, I thought your first name was Resident.”

Yes, but it’s actually spelt Residhente.

Androyd Androyd 3:13 pm 04 Oct 06

I also had a giggle on Saturday at little Nevaeh Charlize Destanee in the CT, so wasn’t surprised to see Kerces’ item. Only one suggestion, no need to include the surnames here as well? Give the little creatures a shred of anonymity.

Maelinar Maelinar 12:41 pm 04 Oct 06

I call her Mini Maelinar.

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