Some days have a lot to answer for. You know those Designated Days (DDs) that fill the corner of our screens, inboxes and diaries, telling us to think of something we never would have in a million years, but if we do we will automatically become better people. And go to heaven. Probably simultaneously.
To best appreciate this phenomenon, it would be good to live overseas. They have so many more cute fluffy animals to protect, varieties of chocolate to appreciate and alcohol to scull than we can dream of. And, as it turns out, DDs are an American thing. Who knew?
It was the United Nations, apparently. A bit odd really when you consider all the other things they have to think about. Like uniting nations. Or perhaps, these days, separating them.
Initially when I started researching DDs, that is, mentioned it to the person behind me in the coffee queue who ignored me and decided very quickly that he didn’t need coffee after all, it was obviously a bad thing.
I mean, Love Your Dentist Day. Seriously? Be kind to someone you know is going to hurt you, while you’re positioned at the most vulnerable of angles – and will demand payment to do so?
I don’t think so. I’m still trying to work out why someone would voluntarily study to do that for the rest of their life. Why? For the drill of it?
Then I heard about Australian Awareness Day, but Google told me it had passed. My condolences.
So that’s when I e-ventured overseas to see what they did there – and I found it. Squirrel Appreciation Day. In fact, were there to be a squirrel in this part of the world, I’d welcome it with open claws and suggest it never watch The Beverly Hillbillies, particularly scenes of a little lady called Granny, talking about gizzards, whilst cooking over a pot near the cement pond. Might also be a good idea to steer clear of a big bugger called Jethro, but that’s another episode.
In the UK, apparently there’s a move afoot to make 9 September, International Technical Analysts Day. That’s a good reason to crack open the warm cordial. Wonder how they celebrate it? Perhaps just wander about looking at each other’s figures. You’d have to have the numbers, though.
You have to love the DDs that sort-of allow you to do the stuff that you probably do in private anyway. No, not those sorts of things. This is a family-platform.
I’m talking about Eat Chocolate Day, Gin Appreciation Day and Take Your Dog To Work Day. The first is such a sweet concept. It works here but you could probably lose a heap more teeth – its measure of success – if you lived in the US where they coat everything in chocolate, especially vegetables.
Gin Appreciation Day is clearly self-explanatory. My only question is why it wasn’t topped up with Tonic Water Appreciation Day and added to Ice Appreciation Day. A squeeze of lemon would also have gone down a treat on the DD.
Now, when it comes to Take Your Dog To Work Day, been there, done that regularly. When the top dog at your office, Mr Smiggle, is literally a dog, you’re clearly barking up the right tree.
And when your working day starts with snacks and cuddles, continues with more snacks and cuddles – and other people’s lunches through the day – before more snacks to help you survive the 10-minute drive home with a cuddle whip-round for afters, you know you’ve got it collar-ed.
And then there is RUOK Day. It was on this past Thursday and no doubt you know because someone you don’t know probably asked how you were, or you them. It’s the day when chemist shops spray RUOK across their windows like, er, graffiti and where, for a few moments at least, we’re reminded to think of other people.
It was also the day when I read one of the best pieces of writing I have in a while, courtesy of a Region colleague. Do yourself a favour …