26 July 2006

A GRAND PROPOSAL

| tom_woodward
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Dearest Citizens of the World,

I direct this to those who reside in Canberra. I am selling my ep, 32.20 blues, for twelve dollars. It has six very well performed, well recorded, ghost-like renditions of my originals, and one Robert Johnson.

The musicians on the album include Aaron Peacey, Simon Connolly (Hedys Lament) and Andrew Dalziell (Henchmen).

My proposal is if anybody wants to buy it, I will personally drive it to your house. It’s kind of like “ORDER A PIZZA”, except it’s “ORDER A TOM WOODWARD CD”.

SO if you’re interested, please write to me at tom@thehenchmen.net with a suitable time for you, and I will get in my shabby old holden and deliver it to you, either at home or work, or wherever you want to be found. It’s tastier than pizza and it makes nice noises.

You can read Johnboy’s review of it here.

Adios
Tom Woodward

[ED – For those considering if they’d like Tom in their house here’s his picture from his latest cover art (James Nichols in the background costs significantly more)]

Tom Woodward, .32-20 Blues, cover-art

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On that topic also I can be a fuckwit for hours yet

Your stamina in this area is a thing to behold, a subject of discussion and admiration for the ages.

tom_woodward6:44 pm 29 Jul 06

Yes, I’m actually in the process of getting a website happening. It should be up in a few weeks. I’ll let u know when it’s running.

Heres one for you Tom. Last poll said there were RA readers around the world. Why not post them a copy as well. Then set up your own website where people can sample your music and then online order a copy.

Coming from you Big Al its a bit rich given some of the bullshit you have come up with in the recent past. This is a discussion forum – MY COMMENT – is that this type of thing has been shot down in the past and now its fine.

Then I made some sarcastic remark about toasters and other crap – if you didn’t pick that as such you need to go back to primary school.

If being a bored bystander is what makes you an idiot then fine – I’ll take that mantle and so can almost everyone who posts here. If we weren’t bystanders with an opinion we would simply sit back in the shadows and not comment.

JB if your cranky call me. If you want to call me a fuckwit on site fine. You must be a bit hormonal at the moment. If you want to read back I have been called a softhead and an idiot in this thread and I started out with a legitimate question and a bit of a jib on the side. I thought you would be able to come up with something a bit more creative than that.

On that topic also I can be a fuckwit for hours yet, just don’t expect a regular comment because unlike some on the site who can sit around and comment all day while listening to music, I actually have to work, while at work, and comment when I am bored in my own time.

Special G, might be water of a ducks back, but a duck is still a duck, and whinging about what might or might not be appropriate for RA when you’re simply another bored bystander still makes you an idiot.

Jazz when you and Special G are sick of making fuckwits of yourselves please let us now?

And why don’t you start making a real contribution around here before lecturing me on editorial standards.

I *asked* to have the piece submitted here, if you’ve got a problem with that I suggest you discuss it with me off-site.

tom_woodward11:38 am 29 Jul 06

Though your average house costs $300 000 and my average CD costs $12. Suppose it is similar though.

tom_woodward11:37 am 29 Jul 06

Yes. It’s exactly like real estate.

ahh, interesting statement you make tom. you mean selling music is a lot like selling real estate. no security, no set income until, like music, you sell something.

tom_woodward10:51 am 29 Jul 06

Oh, BTW, I can’t remember once complaining about CD sales. I was simply pointing out that there is no security. No set income. My CD sales are doing quite fine.

tom_woodward10:49 am 29 Jul 06

Yes, there are many of ways of doing it. Problem is, most musicians think they have to fellate record executives, australian idol judges or play covers in some beer soaked shithole. Me on the other hand, am doing am something about my situation. TAKING CONTROL of the reins as such. So by telling the truth about my situation, as in comparing mine to your sister’s real estate job, is not really whinging. It would be whinging if i was sitting on my arse not doing anything about it.

Water off a ducks back Big Al. If you note my original comment was that RA does not normally allow this type of thing. Which was backed up by Jazz and explained by JB why he posted it. Fair enough its their site.
As for Tom – there are plenty of ways to promote yourself, I would expect you to try them all to make yourself successful.

Poor form whinging about your lack of CD sales and income. There are plenty of musicos that have made a buck from their profession.

Love the Record. Been playing it on my PC all afternoon at work.

tom_woodward5:58 pm 28 Jul 06

Cheers mate… it should be out for the summer. It well be very well publicised. Only those who live in cupboards will not know of its existence.

tom_woodward5:11 pm 28 Jul 06

sounds good to me

Absent Diane4:34 pm 28 Jul 06

haha nice… I will send you an email over the weekend.

tom_woodward4:19 pm 28 Jul 06

Absent Diane, if you do want a cd i will drop it in your letter box and you don’t have to look at me, talk to me or be sociable at all.

Am I becoming the pushiest sales man alive?

Absent Diane3:09 pm 28 Jul 06

not being much of people person it didn’t appeal to me on a buyers level… but it is def a unique way of marketing which I hope equates to more sales…. so kudos Tom for thinking outside squircle.

For FS’s. How about someone give Tom a high five for his marketing technique…

High Five.

Is it naked real estate ?

That would be worthwhile posting.

tom_woodward1:29 pm 28 Jul 06

Hey Thumper, your CD should be in the specified place. Let me know if there’s any problems. Oh and Jazz, it is true this approach / objective is different. When you sell CDs at gigs, you’re generally selling to people who are already part of the music scene. And what’s the point of the music scene if only those who are a part of it know about its existence? Today I delivered four CDs to people who quite rarely go and see local music (except Thumper of course) and whom would never have known of my existence if not for riot act. They listened to the Mp3 and liked it, so I sold them the CD. I think I owe John Boy some beer.

a little bit different in this case thumper. JB’s review of the CD is appropriate, Advertising gigs of local musicians and music i am also fine with (where you could sell you CD to your hearts content tom), in this instance the approach and objective are different.

im well aware of the beer for comment approach.

i have a volume of haiku coming out.

if anyone agrees to buy it i will personally deliver it and read one haiku.

Absent Diane11:25 am 28 Jul 06

+1 for riotact’s support of local music.

If anyone has a uniquely canberra product (a toaster designed or assembled in Canberra for instance) we’re more than happy to give it a run at no cost (just like this piece).

If we do accept payment we make note of it. (Beer does nicely, thank you)

I actually think that what Tom is doing is highly compatible with what RiotACT is about. Tom’s cutting through all the crap, he’s by-passing the established music industry apparatus – this is an act of entrepreneurial free enterprise and independent media that should be encouraged.

I think it’s quite funny and this counterbalances the smell of advertorial.

tom_woodward9:42 am 28 Jul 06

You really think your sister advertising her real estate career on riot act would do much good? How many other avenues are open to her to advance her career? How much does she get paid a year? I tell you how much I get paid a year for making CDs and going around trying to entertain people: NOTHING. Nothing but what people pay me if they feel entertained. No security here. And riot act is one of the few media outlets that are kind enough to allow me the chance to promote my work – work that survives purely based on promoting it throughout the community.

actually, i kind of agree with special G on this issue and i’d normally kill such submissions if they came across my editorial desk.
On the other hand i can understand JB’s leniency this time due to Tom’s novel distribution approach

some truths are self evident.

in this instance, why should i supply proof – just read what you post special goat.

Special G – piss off, you’re an idiot.

I used the toaster at the bottom end of the scale.

My sister-in-law has just started in real estate although I don’t see her posting an article on the site advertising it. As she works for a real estate company that would get shot down in flames. Although it would simply be another person advertising to get ahead in their chosen career.

Bonfire – what are these volumes you speak of. You continuously throw shit out there, call people a softhead and rarely justify why. Jam it up your date and put an offer on the toaster if you want it.

G

I thought Tom’s home delivery CD was funny so I asked him to post it here.

Apparently a number of RA readers have taken him up on it.

whenever i think of ‘ballad of john henry’ i think of my stanley steamer.

do engines get rewarded for their means? whats a substitute for pork and beans ?

(coal i think, mr cash)

i think local minstrel advertising his tunes is not the same as ‘toaster – owned by one softhead – for sale cheap’.

that you cant differentiate speaks volumes.

Absent Diane5:19 pm 27 Jul 06

I think this is completely different

AD yes it is, although articles such as reviews that looked all too much like the proprietor reviewing their own shop took alot of critisism previously to the point that any review was accompanied by the line – this is not an ad.

Tom – No I wasn’t selling the toaster through RA – I would put it in all classifieds or the like if I was wishing to sell it. But if that is the direction the site is taking I well get a photo of said toaster and put it on the front page. I have a motorbike to sell as well if interested.

Absent Diane4:58 pm 27 Jul 06

Special G – isn’t it up to the owners of the site to decide what gets published?

tom_woodward4:46 pm 27 Jul 06

Are you really selling the toaster? Are you comparing my album to a toaster? I’m confused. But then again, I am a dumb hippy who rides a recumbent bicycle, so I ought to be confused.

Why is this on RA. This is straight up advertising and selling something. I thought this was a community discussion forum to discuss news items and the like as opposed to some bloke selling his stuff..

Did he pay for the advertising space. Is this a new direction RA is taking.

I have a toaster that I no longer want, going cheap $20. Cooks toast, muffins, and other bread like products, no other features really.

G

recumbent bikes are not jokes they are dangerous

tom_woodward12:30 pm 27 Jul 06

Anyway, does anybody want to buy one, or is it too entertaining making really funny jokes about bicycles?

tom_woodward12:20 pm 27 Jul 06

“I will get in my shabby old holden and deliver it to you” –

unless they’re making recumbent bikes called “holden’s” these days, I don’t think i will be riding.

Or borrow Thumper’s tank?

Or maybe a pocket bike ?

will you ‘drive’ or pedal on a recumbent bike ?

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