25 July 2008

A tale of abuse in Canberra

| johnboy
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In the recent discussion on abuse at Daramalan Mick1965 made a lengthy post about his own experience.

I thought it deserved a wider readership than being buried in the comments, so here it is.

(Warning, not for the faint hearted)

    In Primary School (St Thomas Moore’s the St John Vianney’s) I was considered by many to be a child genius. I was miles ahead in language, maths and music and nobody understood how I learned…I just did and I blitzed everyone.

    I moved to Marist in Year 4 where I was exposed to the madness of Miss Nunn (an ex-nunn) who would make us (as punishment for putting our hands in our pockets) take off our pants in fromt of the classroom, turn them inside out and put them back on, then stand in a garbage bin for a whole day at times.

    I had a good Year 5.

    In Year 6 I was beaten by Brother Jerome who actually broke my fingers a few times. Regardless, I maintained a standard sufficient to receive an Excellence in Study Award at the end of the year.

    When I hit year 7, it all changed. I started being called into Kostka’s office regularly, where he abused me. I was vulnerable, and lonely at the time. This was the turning point of my life. This was the difference between a confident, well adjusted leader with a genius IQ and a pathetic bastard who turned to drugs and alcohol to forget and supress. My grades went from straight A+ to straight Fs. I became self abusive and angry, not trusting anyone (and this developed, at times, into full blown paranoia).

    I left Marist in year 8 and went to AME School where I was told I needed a “challenge” and teachers who really wanted me to learn gave me that challenge. I completed my Year 12 certificate requirements by the end of year 9.

    I took samples of my work to Darra and I was accepted into Year 11 in 1981, without having done a day of year 10 (ie I skipped a year of schooling).

    Of course I had really done all the work before at Darra so I could afford to be stoned and/or pissed for that two years, and still get a pretty good ASAT….but nothing like I could have had! I struggled with authority and the clergy at Darra and never connected why – but it’s clear now I was still badly damaged by Kostka (not just him but the others who stood by and allowed it to happen). At Darra I still showed some leadership and was Captain of the 3rd 15 Rugby team.

    I went on to Signadou – my inspiration was to be the super-guardian of all kids and assure nobody ever had to suffer injustice. I did manage to maintain good results academically, and I went on to be SRC President in my final year. I had such a problem with authority that I went ahead and had the Nunn who was chief administrator at Signadou replaced, knowing full well she would see to it I would never teach as a consequence of this. She gave me an additional going away persent too! The trearurer had resigned at half term and left me with the cheque book. Of course I wrote quite a few liberal cheques (strippers for a 21st, cases of booze etc) and of course the good sisters had me charged with imbezzlement.

    I ruined a perfectly good relationship with my soulmate – who I left so devastated that she hasn’t spoken to me for 20 years. She was pregnant with my first child whom she never allowed me to meet.

    I spent the following 10 years trying to kill myself with drugs and booze.

    Sure, there were other factors, but I believe I would have had a far better life if Kostka had not molested me in Year 7.

    The contrast between me before this happened, and after this happened is phenomenal and if I do manage to get financial compensation then it will only be the difference between what I could have been and what that monster turned me into.

    Right now I am still a walking irony. I am a GAA (class of 01) who is still struggling in the public service at the lower end of the scale and the two reasons I am struggling are:

    (1) authority issues;
    (2) paranoia.

    Why the hell wouldn’t I be entitled to some financial compensation? Hopefully just enough to get a good shrink and not have the additional stress of all this going on and having to turn up to work every day.

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Wayne Mckenzie11:27 am 15 Sep 17

Mick1965. I just worked out who you are. How are you mate. I thought I was the only one. Contact me on FB mate and we’ll catch up for a beer

It must be noted that there are names of people on the list supplied by CHW that went to court and were proven innocent. This comment is not meant to offend, i understand that people on the list committed unforgivable crimes that ruined peoples lives. However I feel those people who have stood trial and been pronounced not guilty should not be portrayed as the same as the other ‘guilty’ parties.

Whoops!

Seems like Moses and his commandments appeared well down the line, thereby creating a convenient statute of limitations, so all of his predecessor’s filthy behaviour and beliefs are all OK; it won’t happen again!

Sound familiar?

So when Marist and Dara shaft you with a change of the ground rules, relax, they’re following yet another time-honoured biblical tradition.

“Oh but we’ve cleaned up our act now …… so that EXCUSES all that preceded.”

Neat, huh?

Sick ’em, Mick! Go you good thing!

Me, I’ve come to the conclusion all Abrahamists are evil. Abraham was most likely Satan himself. Burning bushes and homicidal rages directed at his kids? What a F*CKING DERANGED PSYCHOTIC MAGGOT. What a role model for the church!

Humanity’s greatest need is for a time machine; to forwith go back and BUTCHER a babe named Abraham.

The churchies are natural-born perverts; it’s their creed. It’s all there in the first few pages of Genesis, Numbers, Deuteronomny, etc. (Who’s ever bothered to read that shit? Well maybe we should – therein may lie deep and profound understanding)

Turns out they’ve only been PRACTISING WHAT THEY PREACH; the whole “covenant” thing was just a ruse to cover institutionalised sex abuse.

From Abraham to Joshua to Jacob to THE WHOLE DAMNED LOT OF THEM, they all conveniently ignored a couple of poppy Moses’ commandments and, to a man, proceeded to rampantly fornicate with their wives, whores, daughters, half-sisters, step-children, anything-they-might-stick-their-cock-in. It was a GREAT JOKE, thoroughly enjoyed and passed from generation to generation. The tribes, man, it’s all about the TRIBES! (Read, ritualised, institutionalised incest.) All thoughtfully documented in a book. A second-millennia-BC equivalent of “The Joy of Incest”.

Let’s not even go near the thinking behind ritual genital mutilation, but you can probably see a thread here…

READ IT HEAR FIRST FOLKS: ALL ABRAHAMIC TRADITIONS WERE AND ARE A CULT OF SEXUAL ABUSE, OF PEDOPHILIA AND INCEST.

The mercy and the faith and the hope and the love were all CRAP. Just a FANCY COVER STORY to perpetuate opportunistic sexual abuse. As paractised today all over the god-lovin’ states! Just following Abraham’s fine example, man!

It’s all spelt out very plainly in THE GOOD OLD BOOK.

Any wonder the brothers bent over backwards to never go near the old book. It describes them to a tee. And how they understand that they may behave.

I-filed,

AME was as bad as Marist because it too was extreme, but the “other” extreme. There were a few student/teacher episodes there too, but all were consentual.

Asbergers? Like Jerry Espenson in Boston Legal? Are you on crack?

It sounds as though the wonderful AME School is what rescued you. Amazing school. What a shame it only went to Year 10 or you may have recovered in time.
The higher-end-of-the-spectrum intelligence and “authority issues” and operating at a low level in the public service is very likely to be due to some form of Aspergers, though, Mick, rather than the abuse. It is very common for highly intelligent Aspies to be in junior roles.

CHW’s list contained so many mentions of “Hunters Hill” that I thought I’d try to set the record straight. Hunters Hill in Sydney for many years had 3 – yep – 3! – Marist schools. The most famous is St Joseph’s College – a secondary GPS school which is still there. Across Mark St, you had Villa Maria – A marist day school which went from 3rd class to 3rd form and which closed down as a boys school in 1966. THAT is where Brother Kostka taught. Thirdly you had Marist Sisters Woolwich which took boys from kindergarten to 3rd class. In 1966, Marist Sisters took over Villa Maria, and so far as I am aware, it remains a girl’s primary school today. So Marist Brothers teaching (etc) in Hunters Hill could mean Joeys, Villa Maria pre 1966 (a la Kostka) or maybe in some cases both.
You make me feel very lucky, CHW – I only ever met one of your “subjects” in the 12 years I was a Marist boy! And had no idea about him until lately!

Hi CHW and welcome. Sorry – I missed your comments until now.

It is good that you feel free to comment here.

I am so sorry to hear about what Fr. Cusack did to you. I hope you are getting by and working towards healing.

Very valid points you made but I fear those who don’t get it will never get it!

Can you say your age and maybe give an overview of your life and where/how you feel the abuse altered things?

CHW – All very valid comments. The issue of the Towards Healing process is very worrying and this is something that Time For Healing ACT will be fighting strenuously. Feel free to contact us at TimeforhealingACT@gmail.com

The Soul Of An Accountant

I certainly was left with the impression that the diocese of Goulburn and Canberra is far, far more concerned with looking good on the accounts sheets than providing any more than a meagre compensation to the victims of their paedophile religious and lay employees. For example: having provided a draught contract of agreement that included a clause agreeing that I had sought legal advice, they were shocked that the solicitors’ recommendations which I (as per the diocese’s own legal document stipulated) had sought were -that the sum the Towards Healing protocol offered was derisory! This was the advice of no fewer than THREE different solicitors, including two recommended by the Women’s Legal Service as particularly experienced in such cases (I had felt obliged to seek a second and then third opinion, just in case).

Especially galling is the realisation that i) the diocese cries poor, but claims such compensation payments from their insurance company; ii) the Papal City is not stripping any of its gilding to assist its victims, any more than it cashes in a single art work or property investment to support its poor and impoverished.

Finding that there is more discussion around Canberran child sexual assault in Catholic schools in the seventies, eighties, and nineties, I was reassured to see public forums highlighting the revolting tactics the Catholic Church is using to sleaze out of its responsibilities.

In my opinion, there is a general misunderstanding of just how iniquitous it is to refuse to compensate the victims of the priests and other Church staff. It is difficult enough for victims to find the courage to live day to day, let alone confront the authority supposedly responsible for educating – and developing the potential of – its parishioners’ children.

When attending the parish primary school where I was educated (and where the priest was an importunate, persistent child-molester) a theme heavily emphasised was that of the dutiful parishioner’s obligation to improve on his/her innate resources, so as to return to God an increase or profit on the original ‘investment’. In fact the parable encapsulating this imperative refers to God providing one ‘talent’ to each of three participants – the most successful, and therefore the most worthy, returns three talents to God, having increased his stake through wise speculation in diverse ventures.

This parable had a heavy rotation on the sermon roster; it is cruel and demoralising to contrast this heavy emphasis on striving to achieve the best realisation of one’s potential, with the realisation that the priest sermonising was allowed to prey at will upon whichever little girls came within his reach with impunity, for at least two decades.

It is a legal fact that sexually abusing children cripples their potential to achieve socially, educationally, emotionally, relationally, and most legally relevant, financially. Unfortunately none of the immense damage is visible (to parents, family, loved ones, peers) as it would be if the damage was physically manifested: if, for instance, the victim of child sexual abuse was scarred visually – if they were missing a couple of limbs – then the failure to achieve would be instantly comprehensible.

This results in a child, adolescent, and then adult with a consciousness of having failed in all areas of life, and having no other explanation than that of personal inadequacy. To then burden a victim with having to pursue the Catholic Church for compensation is bizarrely inhumane. To realise that the church’s legal weasels are delaying resolution of these cases in order to advantage themselves of legislation that will ‘tidy up’ outstanding cases is just another contemptuous, degrading abuse of those who were child sacrifices to a seeming of respectability.

To those proponents of the view that such victims are holding the Church to ransom for injuries irrelevant to their lives today: if there were children who were systematically deprived of one or two limbs because the then guardian of their spiritual safety was covertly enamoured of amputations, would those children be expected to evince a ‘stiff upper lip’ and cope with their limbless state without anyone ever allowing them special consideration? Would they have to perform as their fully mobile peers do, without access to any mechanisms to ameliorate their handicap?

And once more: to those who wallow in blessed ignorance, and believe that we should focus on the good in our lives, not the bad: how else do you think we get through the episodes of depression we repeatedly suffer? The episodes where we contrast our desire to succeed and achieve, with our repeated failures to do so? The episodes where we flog ourselves for not rising above those abuses/abusers, for not proving our intrinsic worth to ourselves by forging ahead and fulfilling our potential??? We get through by grinding grimly forwards, finding beauty in small pleasures, by shutting away the bad stuff and just living in the moment (until our ability to function is impaired by automatic compartmentalising…)

I have to say – Canberra Catholics need to acknowledge that those supposedly leading and protecting their diocese during the sixties and seventies were in actual fact sheltering more than one or two sexual predators. Those molesters of children were indeed given every opportunity to prove their lack of restraint: the attitude at the time amongst the administrators of the parish was demonstrably more concerned with allowing a paedophile to “redeem his soul”, than with protecting the children of the parishioners. This, of course, has proved to be the case throughout Australia; indeed, most of the church’s sexual predators have rotated through a number of parishes in their careers.

Before the Canberra courts at this time is a Marist Brother accused of sexaully assaulting young boys in his “care”; and recently, there have been settlements made regarding two other teachers at Catholic High Schools in Canberra. The primary concern of the Catholic Diocese would seem to be to deny that the hierarchy were aware of any activity by sexual predators in the diocese, at any time since its inception. With just the minimum of effort, I have come across five other predators who have had complaints made against them during the terms of their employment at Catholic Schools employed in Canberra by the diocese; with a total of eighteen Marist Brothers Australia-wide having had complaints made against them, with some complaints leading to prosecution and conviction.

And of course, there was my own abuser, Father Patrick Cusack, who was an incorrigible molester of little girls – his habits were so entrenched that it would appear he indulged himself with the majority of the little girls he had access to in his years as a man of the cloth.

Truly, it beggars belief when the current Bishop of the diocese, supposedly in a position (at least for some few years) to have known had complaints been made about Cusack, professes no knowledge of any such complaints. In all these Canberra cases, the official diocesean position has been that “they did not know”. Morally, surely sheer decency requires a more comprehensive survey than reliance upon one or two official’s recollection? By avoiding a more general inquiry as to any records, any where, of complaints (against priests, brothers, teachers, et al) at the time by children to any adults, the impression conveyed is once again of an attempt to divert and constrain possible compensation claims against the Diocese. For victims, the overwhelming impression is that the account spreadsheet is God, rather principles of compassion and decency.

Quite frankly, those who assisted paedophiles to avoid prosecution at the time – by adopting the attitude that it was a matter between the individual and his god – were themselves committing what is now an illegal act, and in any era their lack of action was a betrayal of those children they were supposedly protecting. The decent action would be to acknowledge that predators existed within the Canberra diocese, and at the time were assisted in their activities by their peers’ concealing those activities from not only general knowledge, but also the law of the land. To hand responsibility off by claiming no personal knowledge of a particular paedophiles’ predations is a weasel action, that damages the credibility of all those in office.

The Church, which professes to exist as an entity in some respects, adroitly sidesteps moral responsibility for the culture that allotted paedophiles their particular niche within its structure. The fact that those assaulted in Canberra before 1985 can no longer lodge cases against the individual responsible for assaulting them, is a quibble that today’s Catholic Administrators must rejoice in. Once again, what a moral and decent entity would see as iniquitous, the Catholic Church piously embraces as meet, just, and anyway out of their hands.

Inevitably, the impression generally is that the Catholic Church prefers to support the criminals over the victims. I have long believed that if an honourable attempt was made to ascertain the actual extent of sexual abuse within the Canberra diocese, and then to adequately compensate the victims according to realistic assessments of loss of earnings, superannuation, emotional damage etc, NOT what the parish accountant wants to pay – then yes, financially and morally it would make an impressive statement. It would finally remove the suspicion that somehow, by entering an order, or by accepting ordination, an individual was entitled to special considerations for the rest of their life – regardless of their criminality, and certainly over the considerations due to mere parishioners.

I would like to point out: crippling children by subjecting them to the predations of paedophiles has legally proven consequences to their ability to function as adults. Choosing to support the perpetrator of the abuse, by allowing them shelter and financing their legal teams, is commendable from a Christian perspective. It does, however, provide a sadly deficient contrast to the plight of the victims, who are surely more deserving of such strength of commitment from the Church.

For your Reference, I compiled this list, eighteen of whom were members of the order of the Marist Brothers, from the Broken Rites website; note the first five names on the list all worked in Canberra. Note also that this list contains two lay teachers, included because complaints were made of their conduct to the Marist Brothers running the schools at which they were teaching at the time of the assualts. Note further, that these teachers ( in common with the religious also named in the list) continued in their teaching positions at those schools subsequent to complaints being made about them.
Canberra
Paul John Lyons: Canberra

Br Wayne Duncan: Hunters Hill, Parramatta, Lidcombe (all in Sydney), Ashgrove (Brisbane), Canberra.
Br Kostka: Canberra
Br Peter Spratt: Canberra.
Other Areas
Br Ross Murrin: Queanbeyan, Cairns, Brisbane, and (all in Sydney) Coogee, Parramatta, Campbelltown, Hunters Hill, Dundas, North Shore.
Br Greg Carter: Cairns.
Br Terry Gilsanen: Campbelltown.
Br Brian Robert Gordon: Dundas.
Phillip John Hardy: Eastwood (Sydney).
Br “Oswald” McNamara (Hugh Michael McNamara): Hunters Hill, Brisbane.
Br Terence Mulligan: Auburn Sydney.
Br Gregory Sutton: New South Wales.
Br Colgan Taylor: Central Queensland.
Br John Desmond Dyson: Kilmore, Central Victoria, Alice Springs.
Br Geoffrey Veness: Cairns.
Br David Christian: Perth.
Br Francis Hesford: Kilmore (Victoria).
Br “Nestor”(John Aloysius Littler): Westmead, Hunters Hill, Sydney.
Br Raymond Foster: Queensland and NSW.
Br “Edward”: Coogee.
Br “Norbert” Mathieson: Parramatta, Eastwood (in Sydney).
Br John Maguire: Hunters Hill
Br Malcolm Philip Stanley Hall: Warragul, Pakistan, Papua New Guinea, Solomon Islands.
Br Raymond Foster: Queensland, NSW.

dazednconfused110:13 pm 16 Aug 08

The thing about the topic of abuse is when certain people begin to claim that they represent the voice of all victims, how we all feel…people like Hetty Johnston for example. When you have been abused and when you see someone close to you who you find out has been offending well it completely messes with your head.

I feel there has been must more engaging comment here than from the public ranters.

One thing us survivors know is the signs if it is happening to someone else.

Mick, judging by your logon, I am about 10 years younger than you….that should give you an idea when I was at Dara

Strangely enough Peter I was mates with a bloke a few years ago who turned out to be a molester and he was having intercourse with his own 5 year old daughter.

The really strange thing was my reaction. I didn’t have a clue how/what to feel. Other than the initial horror that I’d left my 3 year old twins at home in his care (only about 10 minutes thankfully). I guess I really wanted to know what the hell kind of pleasure an adult could get from hurting (in so many ways) an innocent like that.

I wondered whether to feel sympathy, hatred…..it was not nearly as clear cut as “let’s string him up!”.

Weird.

So yes they are still out there and maybe if at her pre-school they taught ….something….it might have prevented at least the further times he did this.

Sepi

Teachers now days are warned to never keep back one child by themselves. They would also be discouraged from going away with them I’d say, even though I’m sure there are some great teachers out there you COULD trust your kids with.

Another important point I left out above is that nobody believes what you say about a priest/brother/nunn. Generally, until the recent admissions by the clergy, one would be afraid to suffer the humiliation of people saying “a priest would never do that!” and being punished instead of being heard.

I agree abusers would have a tougher time but it is my goal to see it’s damn near impossible for them.

sepi said :

Mick I’m sure abusers would have a much tougher time these days.

For starters the whole topic of abuse is much more openly spoken about. I think in the past people said nothing as they couldn’t really imagine/believe that others would sexually abuse little kids. For people that aren’t attracted to kids it just seems incomprehensible.

don’t believe it for a moment. I have a friend (yes, its true) who found out her daughter was being abused by her husband. this guy was a bit weird in college, i didn’t know how weird, though. apparently, he had been engaging in this kind of thing for years. He isn’t allowed access to his daughter now, but has shacked up with a new woman with 3 little kids.

She won’t believe a bar of it. I am friends with her too, and have told her to teach the kids to tell her the moment anything happens. “if xxxxx touches you here or here, you are to tell mummy right away. scream if you have to.” She has done so, but still doesn’t believe that he is the monster we say he is.

At least her kids have some sort of chance, now. Personally, if he was found to have a history of this kind of behaviour, it wouldn’t be a second opportunity for him, just chemical castration.

Mick I’m sure abusers would have a much tougher time these days.

For starters the whole topic of abuse is much more openly spoken about. I think in the past people said nothing as they couldn’t really imagine/believe that others would sexually abuse little kids. For people that aren’t attracted to kids it just seems incomprehensible.

And also people would probably take more notice of a teacher inviting kids to their place etc.

Although – I did go on a coast camp with a teacher and about 5 other students – and I remember there were a lot of hiking type trips too with only one teacher. I wonder if those type of activities have had to cease now that teachers have to remain at arms length from students at all times.

– on the point of damaging the legal case by posting here, I dont’ really understand the problem – can someone spell it out to me? Is it just a concern about pre-empting the case, or giving the defence a warnign of what you’re going to say??

Beserk Warrior12:55 pm 30 Jul 08

Thanks Mick.

Fellas – factual scrutiny is something I am not afraid of. There is documentation of everything I have said and there are multiple witnesses.

I see your concern, but frankly I don’t have a worry.

G’day Beserk Warrior (love the name mate!). Thanks for your support.

I don’t have an answer but it seems to me it’s the way these things are approached by Catholic schools where they often feel they are superior to Government funded schools, so they have this thing they call a “reputation”. They cover up certain events so as not to “ruin” their “reputation”.

Now that we have grown up and the shit has hit the fan, we keep hearing about this “reputation” thing which is obviously more important than the lives of the kids who attend certain schools.

I know it did NOT happen at St Eddie’s when Bob Wallace was around because his first speech to the teachers was to let them know any such indiscretions would not be tolerated and the offenders would be handed straight to the authorities.

The message Marist gave, and is giving now, is to the contrary…..more like “Oh dear – you made a little mistake on this pre-pubescent child. That’s OK we won’t tell anyone because they will think we are monsters”.

This sort of shit would never go down in the public system because they do not have the same superiority complex, and there’s no word of it happening at St Eddie’s because the buggers were too scared to do it – they would not be protected as they were at Marist, and it seems at Dara.

So in summary I think it has happened in Catholic schools because (1) they think they are better than other schools and often cover up instead of solve problems; (2) they were never told they would not get away with it (and the one school where they were told has not given any reports of teachers abusing the students).

Don’t get me wrong, I support victims of abuse seeking compensation, the Lobby Group (generally), that something really does need to reform and heal within the Marist Order\Schools, Darra & Catholic Education admin, and that a court case and victims coming forward (successfully meeting their aims or not) will be a foundation to progress from.

There are several points you make which are going to make you -very- vulnerable to spin (or accusations of spin) if those are what you’re going to use to structure an argument around.
If Jb is going to be highlighting comments of your personal accounts and turning them into Headline Posts\media releases on RiotACT, certainly you willll get more public attention, but you are also going to get far more factual scrutiny than the same comment would have otherwise.

Beserk Warrior10:38 am 30 Jul 08

Pardon my ignorance as I am not a religious person, but why do the type of of abuse as described by Mick & Chris seem to invariably happen in the Catholic schools/churches? I’m sure it happens elsewhere as well, but surely the Catholic church is overrepresented when it comes to abuse?

And Mick, I am full of admiration for you. You are a bigger man than I am.

FredJ, thanks mate.

Far more important than the compensation is what we can contribute to this never happening again.

Of course it will – it can’t be stopped. But I think it must be possible to make it a lot more difficult.

I don’t really know how, but I imagine something akin to the Spanish Inquisition (but with comfy chairs).

It would need to be something like a committee that visits each and every school in Australia to make damned sure That each school is aware of ways these animals do get into the students. For example, if there was a committee visiting Dara and they told staff and or students that it is NOT right or normal for students to spend weekends and after school hours with teachers, maybe someone would have sent an alarm earlier.

I think its going to take a lot of work and fine tuning, but essentially I think this is what’s going to do it is a committee or a party of 2 or 3 who visit schools and speak to all students, teachers and parents about signs of abuse and what to do.

Yes, there is an element of a witch hunt here but if it is handled correctly I can’t see that being more of a problem than allowing these animals to continue their practices.

Chris – if you don’t mind me asking, what year did you graduate Dara?

All the best Mick and to everyone else affected by these evil bastards. You deserve all the compensation you can get for being brave enough to face this and so prevent it happening again.

I thought I’d add my experience of Daramalan. I was never abused but this is what was common occurrence there.

In year 7 our Co-ordinator was Terence O’Brien. A strange individual is a polite way to describe him. As part of “religous studies” he would go to great pains to explain to us that homosexual men could be detected by the strong smell of excrement which would come from their “loose arse” muscles as a result of engaging in anal sex. At the beginning of class he would make “sniffing motions ” with his nose and proclaim ” I can smell little boys who have not washed their foreskins”. He would then go into great detail about the requirement to wash foreskins.

Another time I clearly recall him he recounting to us ” our strong urges at our age” and the need to masturbate. He recounted a story where he was our age ( about 14 ) and felt the uncontrollable urge to masturbate….in a train tunnel. He then told us how the train was coming through the tunnel and he was torn between continuing to masturbate and to flee the tunnel, such was his urge.

The woodworking teacher, Mr Lowe was another example of the teaching standard that Darra endorsed. On one day he put a students skateboard through a bandsaw as punishment for not storing it properly in the pigeon hole allocated for student bags.

On several occasions he held my mates hand under the bench drill, while having it on and lowering it, until at the last moment he would release my friends hand. Another time he held my same friends hand on the bench and told him to spread his fingers. He then used a chisel with his other hand and stabbed the bench in between my friends fingers, working back and forth, getting quicker. He then raised it and stabbed it into the bench where my friends hand was then released so that he could move it out of the way in sheer terror.

On one occasion I was so scared he would drill my friends hand, I hit Mr Lowe over the head with doweling to distract him. We then fled the room and I was never punished because Lowe knew he was in the wrong.

As a 14-15 year old I thought it was bizarre that Mr Lyons would take kids from my year on weekend ” shooting” trips. I was asked to go but never went. Even back then, as a kid I knew that it was not normal, and I would joke that he was molesting the kids. Sadly, it was no joke. Other teachers must have known something was not normal.

I recall these incidents clearly, and at the time even though I knew they were bizarre, I was a kid and I just accepted them. These days, that sort of behavior would not be tolerated (I hope).

Good luck to Mick and the others who speak out about there abuse.

Thanks illyria

That shrink sure got it right too and that really is so very hard for me to grasp – that as hard as I might try I don’t have enough control over my own life to be the person I could have been if it never happened. It’s an awful thing to consider and it’s gut wrenching when you try to explain to people. As much as we all try to say “I wouldn’t change a thing because if I did I wouldn’t be here now with these friends and this partner” etc…., it doesn’t really apply to this scenario. I would risk a whole different outcome if I could remove this event from my life. It just did FAR too much damage.

You say your brother’s bio reads like mine and again this is no surprise. Other victims I have met are much the same.

What I failed to drive home in the original post is that it is difficult – near impossible – for me to stay in a job for more than about 6 months. Even in the Pubic Service, I have to change around jobs all the time and I constantly feel I am barely hanging on to my job. This is common amongst victims to the point that many psychological studies conclude that the incapacity to hold a job can correlate to abuse.

This is another reason that financial compensation is important to the process because we really have lost earnings and earning capacity.

It is only part of the process, but none of us should feel like we need to put up with comments like “oh yeah money – that won’t help anything”.

Mick,

I have been away and only just read your very brave post.

I have a brother who was abused from the age of 6 until he was 16. He is a train wreck to this day. His bio in fact reads a lot like yours.

I will never forget an amazing sexual assault counsellor that I went to see with him a few years ago. He said something to my brother that will always haunt me. After hours of very painful and raw revelations he said “You need to accept that you will never be the person that you were supposed to be. You will always be the person that was abused”.

Child abusers change the course of their victims lives forever.

I hope that you, and my brother, and all the others out there, can one day acheive some form of compensation for your experiences as no child should ever have to deal with the initial abuse nor the struggles in life that ensue.

I must say I have just read a lot more supportive comments than I imagined I would and thanks to everyone for your comments. It’s difficult to stay motivated when all you read is the suspicious, negative crap you always expected as a response for saying anything true about the “blessed” Brothers.

I am pressed for time so I’ll have to respond to quite a few of these comments later.

Cheers, and may I repeat a most sincere thank you.

Thank you for sharing these stories. It can’t be easy to do.

I hope the court case brings compensation to those who need it, and allows for the counceling people need. (Perhaps if the church just offered to pay for people to have unlimited counceling, the court case wouldn’t even be needed, and noone would suspect anyone of claiming abuse just for money – not that I could imagine most normal people would even think of doing that.)

I hope those affected can find some way to move forward, without forever dwelling on the way life may have been if this didn’t happen to them.

Groundhog said :

The lobby group has come out strong – nice one guys!

Cheers Groundhog. Mick’s statement, as well as those of Peterh and granny are very, very strong and the courage shown in relating these stories cannot, and should not, be underestimated. It is very, very sad that stories such as Mick’s is not uncommon in relation to those affected at Marist and Dara.

The lobby group would be happy to hear messages of support from anybody that wants to lend even moral support to the victims at Marist and Daramalan – all messages will be relayed to the victims and their supporters. Nothing more needs to be done by the majority of people than that. Support to date from the general community, as well as the ex-student community, has been amazing and it is this moral support that allows the ‘core’ group to do lobbying it needs to do. The group can be contacted at timeforhealingACT@gmail.com

Granny – powerful story. Thanks for chiming in. No doubt your wisdom would be a support to those in the lobby group?

And whooah. The lobby group has come out strong – nice one guys!

Canberra Gardener5:10 pm 25 Jul 08

ABC Online

Schools urged to act on Pope’s apology

A group representing sexual abuse victims in Canberra is calling for Daramalan and Marist Colleges to act now in light of the recent Papal apology.

Time for Healing ACT has been established by former students of the schools.

They want the schools to reveal the full extent of sexual abuse that took place at the colleges during the 1970s through to the 1990s.

One teacher, John Chute, whose religious name is Brother Kostka, was sentenced in June to two years jail for molesting six boys at Marist more than 20 years ago.

Time for Healing spokesman, Allen Stewart, says the Pope’s apology will only mean something if the schools come clean.

“Well the Pope said the victims should receive compassion and care,” he said.

“Compassion and care means that they need to be cared for, they need to be supported and if they’re not even acknowledged, I don’t see how care can be effective.”

Mr Stewart says the schools, as well as the Marist Order and the Missionaries of the Sacred Heart, need to fully investigate and then reveal the full extent of the abuse.

“I think all of the victims and their families and friends and the wider community, for true healing to take place, they need to be heard, they need to be supported, not ostracised or left in the wilderness,” he said.

Mr Stewart says the group is concerned the schools involved are placing their reputations above the welfare of their students.

“The Marist Brothers and the Missionaries of the Sacred Heart in Australia must realise that the reputations of specific individuals within their communities is secondary to the safety of each and every individual student,” he said.

“Those responsible for ignoring the concerns of parents and teachers in the past placed all children in their care at risk of abuse and must also be held to account.”

Mick1965

You have my full support for speaking out on this til you’re blue in the face. Do what you think is right.

Be brave. Stay brave. Know that old cynics (like me) will say that everything that doesn’t turn out well has a multitude of causes and allocating all the losses and vicissitudes of life to one of them is never going to be right or fair. And I’m also one who wonders whether money damages for emotional injury makes a lot of sense (though it’s what our legal system does). But, if there is a detriment that happened because of the Kostka matter, of course you should be compensated.

Holden Caulfield3:21 pm 25 Jul 08

Shitballs Mick, that’s a hell of a story. Chin up mate, you’ve shown extraordinary character just to share your story.

It’s sad that I spent a lifetime in Catholic schools and feel lucky that I was never subjected to any of this crap. The worst I had was raking up a few leaves for a few weekends in a row if I got busted smoking while at boarding school.

I have to admit, this generation of teachers and parents are being branded part of the Nanny State. Softly, softly, that’s the motto of the 21st Century.

But when you hear about stuff like this, it makes you thankful this sort of behaviour is finally being tackled head-on. That’s not to say abuse is being wiped out, but at least people are now being encouraged to speak out.

Mrs Shanahan sounds like Ms Trunchbull from Roald Dahl’s Matilda…

Good luck Mick. Brother Kostka’s god knows exactly what damage he’s done, and so do we.

I’m with you, Mick.

I think you’re incredibly brave. Not only do you have the courage to get out of bed every day and face the world, but you are reaching out a helping hand to others and doing all you can to protect our kids.

I do understand something of what you must be going through. My little girl was abused by a partner for two years starting when she was just six years old. I was a single mother, and I didn’t find out until after the relationship ended. I felt like such a failure as a parent. Instead of protecting her from predators, my trust in this person had brought this horror into our home. Worse still, he had used her love for me to silence her: “You know how much your mum loves me and how unhappy you’ll make her if you tell.” That put a communication barrier between us that took decades to break down.

Much later on I discovered that paedophiles often target single mothers in order to gain access to the children. If I were single again, for whatever reason, I would definitely remain so until my kids were grown.

I hated him so much when I first found out. I used to fantasise about bashing him over the head with a two by four. I vowed that when he died I would wear a yellow dress and thread daisies in my hair and dance on his grave. After a while I came to realise that my bitterness and hatred were only hurting me; like being devoured by worms from the inside out; and I just had to let go of it. These days, if I think of him at all, I try to picture him as the tragic little boy with an alcoholic father, who loved to do jigsaw puzzles. I never want to see him again, but I think the world will be a better and safer place if he changes rather than suffers.

Somehow it is easier to forgive him than the legal system, which managed to rape her all over again. The police were wonderful. I could not praise the care and sensitivity of the Sexual Assault unit highly enough. I also had a huge amount of admiration for the Director of Public Prosecutions, who needed to go out and get thoroughly drunk after the verdict was handed down. I thought, “You poor bugger! How do you keep on doing what you do?” I will never forget their kindness and humanity in a very dark place. The defence attorney was a maggot. Given the same situation I would never ever ever press charges again.

I was not allowed to accompany my young child into the courtroom. It was insinuated that this eight year old child had somehow enjoyed what had happened to her, that the new clothes we bought her to go to court in were some kind of bribe, and that the fact that she couldn’t remember the exact wording of a statement given to the police when she was six somehow invalidated the truth of her ordeal. Well, boy could she tell them a thing or two now that she is a grown woman!

As a child she couldn’t even begin to verbalise some of these concepts. Sadly I know of other young women that have also been torn to shreds in the courtroom, even to the point of literally having to vomit.

Our reason for going to court was so that other innocents would be protected. I didn’t want revenge so much as I wanted him labeled for what he was – dangerous. I wanted other parents to be warned not to trust him as I had (although I was not averse to him suffering because she certainly had).

We didn’t ever seek compensation for the reasons that Mick mentioned, but now I sometimes think that was a mistake. It would have been a tangible acknowledgment for her that she was the victim of a crime and it wasn’t her fault. It would have been a small bit of good to come out of all that was bad.

There is life after sexual abuse, and it can be very rich and wonderful. It is a long, hard road and I wish everybody on that difficult path a future of hope and success.

we’re with you Mick.

Mick,

Thank you for sharing your story with us, it takes a hell of a lot of guts to be so open and honest about such terrible indients.

best wishes mick! as you point out, there can never really be an adequate recompense, but aside from making the point you deserve some recognition that is recognised society-wide – ie fiscal.

by the by, an article today reporting on the anglican conference in london had a catholic spokesperson critique the anglicans as having ‘spiritual alzheimers’ and ended with the statement that the secular world is ‘at war with religion’.

if your apalling history is anything to go by, c’arna secularists, i say!

dodgybranchopolous2:22 pm 25 Jul 08

Other memories of Mrs Shanahan-

– Slapping my face in front of the class for not knowing the answer to a question
– Kicking me in the ass when I bent over to pick something up (year 3)
– Constant daily abuse and belittling in front of class
– Allocating daily class ‘favorites’ and ‘idiots’
– grabbing my arms so hard her fingernails tore bloody scratches down my arm

And the then principal Mr Lingard

– When I couldn’t find the right section in the book – grabbing the back of my neck in a pincer grip and slamming my face into the book repeatedly. I remember that clearly cause it’s the first time i ever had a blood nose.

Mrs Shanhan and Mr Lingard – I hope you die slow, painful deaths.

dodgybranchopolous2:22 pm 25 Jul 08

Other memories of Mrs Shanahan-

– Slapping my face in front of the class for not knowing the answer to a question
– Kicking me in the ass when I bent over to pick something up (year 3)
– Constant daily abuse and belittling in front of class
– Allocating daily class ‘favorites’ and ‘idiots’
– grabbing my arms so hard her fingernails tore bloody scratches down my arm

And the then principal Mr Lingard

– When I couldn’t find the right section in the book – grabbing the back of my neck in a pincer grip and slamming my face into the book repeatedly. I remember that clearly cause it’s the first time i ever had a blood nose.

Mrs Shanhan and Mr Lingard – I hope you die slow, painful deaths.

dodgybranchopolous2:17 pm 25 Jul 08

Dear Mick1965 – I was very sorry to read that, and I genuinely wish you all the best.

I recently ran into some fellow CGS alumni at a bar, these were guys I went through years 3-6 with at grammar junior school and hadn’t seen for almost 20 years.

Anyway we looked at each other, and said two words – ‘Mrs Shanahan’ (may she rot in hell).

Mrs Shanahan was what you get when if you crossed Hannibal Lecter with a school teacher. While she didn’t break fingers – and Im surprised she didn’t manage to – she scarred an entire generation of kids that were unfortunate enough to enter her classroom.

Some memories include her:
– Ripping out the sliding part of my desk when I couldn’t find my ruler, and flinging it out the window of a two-story building, making me go down and pick it up and pack it nicely again. She then grabbed it and threw it out the window again

I know this doesn’t approach the trauma of what you suffered Mick, but I just wanted to say that you can’t underestimate the trauma of what happens in those years. I’m still dealing with it myself.

tylersmayhem2:08 pm 25 Jul 08

I sincerely believe that both schools involved should have a fund dedicated to the counselling of victims of this abuse – regardless of what the courts rule. I would think their “catholic cause” would be doing this already, regardless of if they are at fault or not. They seem to be pinching pennies, rather than helping the hurt. If they were to do this, it would go a long way to bettering their tarnished reputation, and it would not be admitting guilt, but actually showing care.

At this point, both of these schools, particularly Marist are trying to distance themselves as far as possible from the victims, rather that reach out. Maybe if they started helping the victims without being ordered to, they could have this “positive article” written about them by the media that they so desperately seek.

Best of luck with it mate. don’t worry about the catholic church, they can afford to pay-up. Screw the bastards for every cent you can, you DESERVE it!

As a starting point someone needs to take responsibility for covering the costs of professional counseling and ensuring all the victims are supported. The school and catholic church are businesses, if injuries have occurred at the “workplace” then accountability should sit with them. I don’t know the legal side of this but there is a moral obligation that needs to be fulfilled at the least.

Mick,

The only thing I find harder to comprehend than your life story so far is the fact that someone could have a go at you about it.

Honestly, I don’t know what else to say except good luck mate, I hope you can get your life back on track and beat the bastards who did this to you…….

Skid

Stop worrying about the school!

It’s not about them any more. They had their yime – and thos who worried about the school went a step further and justified covering this up for around 30 years! There are schools everywhere in Canberra and your priorities seem to need revisiting.

Schools are buildings – there are people, flesh and blood, and they are suffering.

Jem

Thanks for your support. It’s critical that we do know there are people out there who do care. Sometimes the comments like Skid’s just throw me off and I wonder why the hell I bother. Then I read a few simple, genuine words from you and I feel better.

To the people of Canberra:

We do need your support, and we do need you to give voice to that support. I know that hundreds of people are sitting, reading this and you are too stunned to respond.

PLEASE – if you can show here your support – even if it is a few simple words like “we’re with you”, please come forward and post something.

Overwhelmingly, the main message I am getting here is “stop talking”, “that is not substantited”, “poor Marist/Daramalan” and a string of completely inappropriate, disgraceful and mean-spirited comments.

I call upon you to please balance these with what Canberrans actually feel about this true horror story. Not just what the “big mouthed smart arse” element want to contribute.

In other words – tie a yellow ribbon Canberra. Let us see if you are getting it, or if you think we have spilled our milk and should stop crying.

CG, is that the ‘royal’ We, or a group of people you’re speaking for?
If the latter, you might actually be suprised.

I support the case from what I’ve heard, and claims of compensation for those who require it, but also recognise that a functional school still needs to come out of this, so don’t think that -everyone- has a claim to compensation until its proven or accepted.

But Catholic Insurance (the people who will be making the payout, I’d suggest) will be taking a far more conservative stance than even my first comment on this post.

Mick, I’m a newbie to commenting but I’ve been lurking around RA for a while now and have followed the threads on this topic. Just wanted to say I think you (as well as all the other victims and family) are incredibly brave for speaking up and coming forward. It breaks my heart and makes my blood boil at the thought of all you’ve been through at the hands of these monsters. Good luck to all of you!

Whatsup,

You are welcome. It was about time. I really wanted to set straight the context of how that financial compensation can actually help victims. We don’t get a normal life, and I know a few Marist victims who have taken thier lives (how do we compensate them?).

I initially helped the inquiry but I was adamant I did not want any money in return because I felt it would cheapen my quest and bring into question my intentions. I eventuelly realised that there’s an enormous gap between what I should have been and what I am. This is also difficult to admit because I am a proud person and it’s almost like realising you are retarded….damaged and capable of less. It makes me feel that my best effort can only ever be a compromise, and that is awfully hard to cope with.

Play the ball not the man please CG.

CG,

Thanks mate. It is good to have support, and (as I have stated previously) most of the support that has led to me being able to tell my story has come from the good folk here at Riot ACT. I must admit I might not be comfortable in a room with fellow victims yet, so the “anonymnity” (after telling my story half of Canberra will now know exactly who I am) helps.

Mick,
Thanks for sharing your story. To be honest I don’t want to try and start to imagine what life has been like in your shoes. I can only hope you are given every opportunity to heal and grow into the person you have the potential to be. You’ve clearly shown courage and strength so far, may those attributes continue to serve you well.

Canberra Gardener11:19 am 25 Jul 08

Skid – we always thought you were an idiot…….

……..and you just proved our point……Thanks.

Skid

Absolutely, I do mean “while the therapy is going on”.

The imbezzlement charge was thrown out of court because the judge ruled it was never a criminal matter. The judge stated in his summary that it was peculiar that the good sisters even tried to make it a criminal case, and outrageous that the police took it on.

It was concluded that what I did could be interpreted as silly or irresponsible (difficult this one – the funds I controlled were personal contributions from students and the cheques I wrote were for the students…..), but not criminal.

So no, it has nothing to do with these charges.

Good to see you focussed straight on the important stuff!

On the final line does he mean “while the therapy is going on”?
Otherwise it reads as if he should never need to work a day in his life because he was abused…

GAA = Graduate Administrative Assistant?
The ‘lower end of the public service scale’ in paragraph 14 may have something to do with the fact there’s a previous embezzlement charge (noted at the end of paragraph 9), which is not yet shown to be linked to the molestation.

Canberra Gardener10:57 am 25 Jul 08

It takes courage…….to stand up and be counted.

Mick1965, please know we support you and your quest for peace.
We are all there beside you, and some of us have walked the same path.
What you say makes a lot of sense.

Keep up the hard work……I too hope it will mean something in the end.

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