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AFP to get greater police powers to stop torch violence

By Thumper 17 April 2008 36

Many, many years ago, in a kingdom we’ll call Straylia, there existed a terrible tyrant who ruled over the land. Many small, self interest groups, and greenies pledged to leave the country and move overseas due to the tyrants supposed erosion of civil liberties.

Then, suddenly, all was happiness and light as the terrible tyrant was deposed and quickly replaced by the infinite good of a new leader, one who spoke softly about working families, education revolutions and new leadership.

And the people rejoiced. And the media drooled. And the civil liberties groups were moist with anticipation.

Then one day some evil people from another kingdom far away to the north decided that they wanted to parade their magic sceptre through the capital of Straylia because they were on friendly terms with the leader of the country who spoketh their language. And so the evil sceptre bearers planned their journey, in cahoots with the elected leader of the capital of Straylia, who was secretly in love with Straylias leader, as well as with the evil kingdoms apparently peaceful, fun loving ideology.

And the day came to pass whence the magic sceptre was to be paraded, suddenly the trolls and faeries, and elves, and goblins that lived in the the capital rose up in anger and stated very loudly, ‘We thinketh that this is not a good idea and thus we the people will turn our backs on this so called magical sceptre’.

Both the leader of Straylia and the the leader of the capital were very worried. Afterall, the evil men from the north were their soul mates and they could not let it be seen that their subjects were against their wishes.

And so, in accordance with the Sydney Morning Heraldry, they plotted to increase the powers of the capitals constabulary and foot soldiers so that they could control the trolls and faeries, and elves, and goblins.

And surprisingly, the many small, self interest groups, and greenies that previously pledged to leave the kingdom and move overseas due to the previous tyrants supposed erosion of civil liberties didn’t even bat an eyelid. And yet, this itself was a dangerous erosion of those civil liberties that they once did decry.

And to make matters even worse, both leaders declared boldly than none of the evil countries knights would be allowed to ride within the kingdom. And yet as the day drew nearer and nearer, the both leaders distanced themselves from these proclaimations.

And there was much wailing from some about this, but little criticism of the leader of the Kingdom, who had somehow cast a magic spell over the court chroniclers so that they could only see lightness and roses.

(Anyway, enough of that rubbish, who thinks that giving the AFP more powers is a cop out and the whole torch relay should simply be cancelled? Especially considering the cost of it all, and the potential damage it could do to canberra, and or protestors, torch carriers, etc)

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36 Responses to
AFP to get greater police powers to stop torch violence
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Deadmandrinking 3:22 pm 18 Apr 08

Maelinar – if it ends up just me and tap standing there, then so be it. More screen-time for us 😉

Thumper 3:09 pm 18 Apr 08

luckily I know a little chinese….

in fact, most of them are little!

Boom, boom…

thank you , thank you, you’ve been a wonderful audience, especially you madame…

Mr Evil 3:00 pm 18 Apr 08

Torch relay:

Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing

Thumper 2:41 pm 18 Apr 08

I like them barbequed with onions….

tap 2:09 pm 18 Apr 08

I want the chinese guards bus to break down. In the rain.

Mr Evil 1:51 pm 18 Apr 08

I hope it rains.

Mælinar 1:31 pm 18 Apr 08

I would rather nobody showed up at all. It’d be f’n hilarious on the world stage, given the amount of media that will show up to film the tumbleweeds.

tap 10:47 am 18 Apr 08

Yeah! Lefties complain too much! All they do, complain, complain complain. It doesn’t stop I tell you! They just go on and on and on. Complaining and whingeing and gripeing. Stop you’re winging lefties, do like the right! We never complain…


There have been a few non violent protests so far, heres hoping the same happens in Canberra. I do ask though, if one or two people misbehave, that everyone does not label the entire protest and all protesters as violent thugs. Fair enough?

ant 10:20 am 18 Apr 08

I might turn up to watch the Tibetans stoushing with the Chinese. Free entertainment. I think I’ll barrack for the Tibetans.

GnT 9:36 am 18 Apr 08

My biggest hope is that Canberra can be seen by the rest of the worl as a way to have successful non-violent pretests. Wouldn’t it be great if the torch relay went ahead as planned, on the same route, without the torch bearers getting mobbed or anything, but with lots of noise made about it.

I plan to nick the torch and use it to light a big fart, all on national TV.

Mr Evil 9:20 am 18 Apr 08

My biggest concern is the impact the torch relay will have on working families.

Thumper 8:10 am 18 Apr 08

It appears that Mssrs Rudd and Stanhope have now completely forgotten what they previously pledged and the Chinese goons will no longer follow in a bus, but will run along with the torch.

I hope not.

Deadmandrinking 3:04 am 18 Apr 08

Proud Local…

How can grabbing a female reporter by the neck and slamming her to the ground be considered ‘having it too good’? How can an officer clearly punching a protester whilst restraining him be considered a ‘media beat up’? Sure, in some countries they beat the living f-k out of protesters and shoot at them (Tibet?), but you cannot possibly use that as a justification for police brutality.

I don’t like the violent idiots at protests, but I equally hate violent cops.

minime2 12:39 am 18 Apr 08

Are torch bearers allowed to run through orange traffic lights?

Proud Local 12:10 am 18 Apr 08

“The problem with all this hysteria about violent protests is that it will lead to the police becoming more on edge than they really should be. We all remember some of the shocking behavior exhibited by the police at APEC – and the Chaser proved that approach was hardly effective.”

Yeah I don’t see any bias attached to that statement. And the protesters were all peaceful little angels were they? What about their DISGUSTING behavior in Melbourne before that?

APEC was a massive success compared to similar events world wide. Australia should be proud of the way it was handled by Police and the security arrangements in general regardless of the Chaser incident. Most other countries are far less lenient on protesters. Although the protesters were mostly well behaved which endeared them to the public for the first time in years. Violent protests just leave a sour taste in the mouth of everyone despite the organsiers repeatably condemning it but who secretly endorse it anyway. Left wing hippies have it way too good here and still complain about the most inane issues and seize upon any media beat up they can to promote their causes.

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