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Any good divorce lawer in act?

By coolmate 16 December 2009 34

Hi Guys,

I know you may want to hear this. But I think it’s the only place I could probably get help for divorce…

I am thinking to divorce with my wife. I’ve found she’s been dating with someone else. However, she wants to take everything from me. So I think a good lawyer may help me a lot.

Broken heart…

Thank you in advance!

What’s Your opinion?

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34 Responses to
Any good divorce lawer in act?
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EvanJames 12:42 pm 11 Apr 11

buzz819 said :

You could try the cemetery.

You know, the only good lawyer is a shot, poisoned, squashed, stabbed, stewed, and cut up one….

… and has the 2 sets of skid marks in front of him meanwhile the vampire got away etc etc.

Advice to not go the revenge route is so useful to you right now, OP. It’s natural to want to, and to that end before you launch your course of action, go see those people at relationships australia or whoever to get your head sorted, so you can work out a rational way of proceeding that doesn’t involve trying to “win” or “get even”.

I’ve recently watched a lawyer in action (action not being the right word) representing a person who was the victim of a partner who went mad, trying to get their portion of the shared property back. The lawyer sat back and just responded to the mad person’s deranged activities, racking up a 5-figure sum in the process. The victim ended up settling for a tiny amount, to be paid in installments (mad partner finding all sorts of ways to renege on that, of course), and the lawyer unashamedly presented his enormous bill.

There’s really no come back, the lawyer has followed the “correct” processes, it’s just that being lazy and reactive has cost the victim a fortune they didn’t have.

So find a way to pilot the landscape without reliance on a lawyer. Use them to draft up the end result, as others have suggested, and yes speak to CSA aSAP! Angry partners often use the CSA as another stick to beat their partners with, CSA has vast powers and you don’t want to discover nasty surprises from that direction.

But first I’d see a counsellor just to de-compress and get your head straightened out, you might be able to come out OK if you do.

buzz819 12:00 pm 11 Apr 11

You could try the cemetery.

You know, the only good lawyer is a shot, poisoned, squashed, stabbed, stewed, and cut up one….

Postalgeek 11:49 am 11 Apr 11

Get information.
Get the initiative.
Get unemotional. Don’t be a nice guy. Don’t be an asshole.

Remember that divorce is just the starting gun if you have kids. Your priority is to create a civil, flexible, stable arrangement with someone you have to share your daughter with for the rest of your life.

You can recover from a financial loss. The real shit and expense occurs if you develop a toxic relationship post-divorce. That screws up future life experiences, work, spontaneity, finances, relationships, travel, and most of all it impairs the quality of your child’s life as well as your own.

I just hope you haven’t married an idiot.

Rangi 10:12 am 11 Apr 11

beh1972 said :

Don’t forget the CSA, they are as big of a concern to you right now as the divorce/property. Start researching now how much you will pay and if you can, get them to start deducting your pay now. Because if you don’t, she will providing the details first (like how many nights you have your kid over).

They are not monsters to talk to and will help. But ignor them and you will soon find out how much access/clout they have

Most of what you said I agree with, but if you are the one paying the child support there are monsters they are very biased against the ‘payer’, I have seen a number of blokes practically made homeless directly because of actions of the CSA, and the amount of stress of having to deal with them has driven them to do stupid things.

Do your best to keep solicitors out of it. If she gets a solicitor (and you have kids) they will fill her head with how much she can cash in on, fair or not and you will be screwed over.

The laws may not be against men, but it seems that the people that apply the law are.

PeterK 8:26 am 11 Apr 11

Firstly, sorry to hear about the situation you are in.

As many people have said on here, if the both of you can avoid getting lawyers involved then you will both be financially better off. The lawyers do not get paid on any sort of percentage of settlement, so it is in their best interest to draw the whole process out for as long as they can. All they are really interested in is getting you back time after time so that you have multiple visits and pay them their overpriced hourly rate. At the end of the day, you will be thousands of dollars out of pocket (think $600 to $1000 per hour per visit) and will be in the same position than if you both just sensibly sat down and worked out a split that is amicable for you both with a lot less bitterness that will come into play with a lawyer involved.

However, in saying that, sometimes lawyers are the only option. Farrar, Gesini and Dunn I have heard are excellent – they have a sub company called Consensus Family Lawyers whose sole aim is to keep the matter out of court.

In any case, it is very worthwhile for you individually to visit a lawyer anyway just so that you are very clear on your rights and what the expected outcome will be. Even if you do not follow through any action with lawyers, at least you will know where you stand and be able to reach a fair settlement based on fact and today’s law. Don’t be bluffed by your ex-partner as to “what they have been told” or :what their lawyer told them” – this is all part of the game to psych you out. Know your rights, get some advice, and most importantly don’t be pushed around when you know what your rights and the laws are.

Stozza 1:23 pm 19 Dec 09

captainwhorebags said :

I have been dealing with Dobinson Davey Clifford Simpson for a defacto breakup and I highly recommend them.

I am highly biased (having been employed by them for the last few years as a paralegal, up until yesterday when I resigned to travel overseas), but I would also strongly recommend Dobinson Davey Clifford Simpson. You can check them out online at, which has some really useful information (go to resources, then the FAQ section).

Having worked in a number of family law firms in the ACT while I completed my undergrad degree, my advice to someone going through a break up would be:
– Make an appointment to have an initial chat to a solicitor. Find a solicitor who listens to you and makes an effort to understand your concerns.
– If you don’t think you can afford an appointment with a solicitor, check out the places like the ACT Legal Aid Office (6243 3471) or referral/resource organisations like the ACT Law Society or the women’s legal centre who can often provide a free initial consultation.
– Most people (over 95%) will settle their matter without needing to go to Court. In most matters a final court hearing is an option of last resort.
– It is important to properly record any agreement you reach with your former partner. As captainwhorebags mentioned, if you are transferring a property there might be a nasty stamp duty surprise. A formal agreement (for instance, consent court orders or a financial agreement) will also give you some finality and protection in case your former partner changes their mind down the track about your agreement. Spending a little money to have a solicitor help you document your agreement can save you a lot of money and headaches down the track.

I’m happy to answer any general family law questions people have if anyone wants more information…

Mimiboo 9:55 am 19 Dec 09

I don’t have anything really useful to add here, but all I can say is good luck and stand your ground. People close to me who went through divorce avoided lawyers and came out ok in the end. It’s tough, but you will be ok in the end.

cleo 11:28 pm 18 Dec 09

Be adult and sort it out yourselves, write everything down, no need to make this nasty, as you both have a daughter together, nothing will change the situation, shit happens.

beh1972 8:09 pm 18 Dec 09

Don’t forget the CSA, they are as big of a concern to you right now as the divorce/property. Start researching now how much you will pay and if you can, get them to start deducting your pay now. Because if you don’t, she will providing the details first (like how many nights you have your kid over).

They are not monsters to talk to and will help. But ignor them and you will soon find out how much access/clout they have

coolmate 10:40 am 18 Dec 09

wow. Really eye-open helpful opinions. Thank you guys. I feel like to avoid the court and sort out an agreement asap with the to-be-ex wife. I do have a daughter. I feel sorry for my dear little angle, but this is not what I decided.

worldsmessiestbartender 9:53 am 18 Dec 09

On one additional note, and not to suggest riot act of this, but my ex went on numerous sites and was told in a roundabout way that if she worked it right she could end up with magical ponies and a castle in fairyland (I am taking some liberties). Talk to someone who either has gone through it, or better yet, just make an appointment and see a lawyer, not to “go nasty”, but just to get a decent legal opinion on what the outcomes could be.
After speaking to a lawyer friend of mine I realised that lawyers were not the best option, but if it did turn nasty, things could end up badly.
Enough men and women have been screwed over through the legal profession in divorces. Be alert not alarmed, and be informed.

Punter 8:55 pm 17 Dec 09

WMB #8, I think Ken Cush is still a special magistrate so his involvement could be a conflict of interest, but his team could probably still help out. If you have kids, get something amicable lodged with the family court early. I have seen fathers say “what could happen” only to find their rights to things like access very difficult to manage further down the track when things go sour. All advice to keep out of court is correct. Try to be civil and negotiate through mediation if you have to. It is on both of your interests. Good luck.

beh1972 6:16 pm 17 Dec 09

1. Keep it out of the court unless you have millions in assests to fight over.
2. Get it sorted out asap for your own sanity.
3. No new partner in your life is going to want to stick it out while your divorce settlement goes on in the background – it’s toxic to new relationships

As for who is at fault means absolutely nothing to the Family Court. It hurts to hear that at first, but you have to deal with it.

My personal experiance was I needed a lawyer just to show I was organised enough to get advice. We then managed to work it out. Sure I could have gotten a lot more, maybe 20K in my case after costs, but it would have taken another 12-18 months – is that worth it?

In simple terms I watched my parent spend $80-100K in costs and 4 years of lawyers pointlessly. Only to be told by the court the settlement was what my father originally proposed in the first weeks.

We sorted it out for less than 4K, and that was over a five bedroom house and three kids.

Good luck, but be rational and start talking.

icantbelieveitsnotbutter 5:26 pm 17 Dec 09

Chances are you’re hurting a bit, and you’ll most likely think that any small gains you get out of battling through court will make you feel good… for a while. Ultimately, take the moral high ground, ask for an out of court settlement (a few posts on here have talked about that), if she goes nasty on you… just remember that in the long run, if you don’t go nasty as well, you’ll feel heaps better in the long run.

If it goes to court… everyone loses.

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