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ASIO seeks executive to deliver curses in “Canaberra” [sic] ?

johnboy 18 May 2009 23

ASIO has long been suspected of dabbling in the dark arts but there was an interesting job advertised last week which seems to confirm suspicions.

    Job Title: Counter Terrorism Intelligence Training Program
    Job Type: Ongoing, Full-time
    Salary: $94,040 – $101,509
    Location: ASIO Central Office, Canaberra | ACT [sic]
    Agency Classification: ASIO Executive Officer Grade 1

    To make an effective contribution to the Program, you will need to be adaptable, able to solve no-notice problems overseas, and have the necessary research skills to develop and deliver curses within specific deadlines.

(emphasis mine)

We suppose it’s nice to think our pagan friends have such a great career opportunity opening up.

Just in case it goes missing here’s a screen shot of the whole shebang:


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23 Responses to
ASIO seeks executive to deliver curses in “Canaberra” [sic] ?
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astrojax 3:07 pm 19 May 09

too much info, carrots.. ;/

eyeLikeCarrots 9:44 pm 18 May 09

kos said :

Good lord that’s one of the best posts I’ve ever written. They are also under your bed monitoring your sex patterns I hear.

Now that would be a boring job… I’m not getting any nasty at the moment :-\

kos 8:38 pm 18 May 09

Written = read, that was a bit of a fail.

kos 8:37 pm 18 May 09

eyeLikeCarrots said :

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy said :

Funny and all, but a couple of typos in a job ad doesn’t seem to me to be news.

Funny if its in a job ad for Mc Donalds.

Embarassing if its authored by the same people who read your email and listen to your phone calls.

Alarming if its a failure of process for something as simple as a job ad in a process orientated org like Gov.

These people also write warrants…

Good lord that’s one of the best posts I’ve ever written. They are also under your bed monitoring your sex patterns I hear.

R. Slicker 5:00 pm 18 May 09

ogrex said :

When it comes to typos in the Canberra Times, I’ve become convinced that someone there is using dictation software to write their articles. It seems at least once a month I come across a wrong word that seems to be a phonetic error rather than spelling.

For example: “The High Caughts ruling…”

I stopped taking The Canberra Times seriously when they spelt the word Gallipoli wrong in a headline a few months ago.

astrojax 3:10 pm 18 May 09

of course, brain outstripping fingers with typographical puns – meant ‘crucified’…

astrojax 3:09 pm 18 May 09

looks like a job ad for john safran… is he back from getting cruxified in the philippines yet?

Danman 3:02 pm 18 May 09

Molehill, meet my friend mountain.

ogrex 3:02 pm 18 May 09

When it comes to typos in the Canberra Times, I’ve become convinced that someone there is using dictation software to write their articles. It seems at least once a month I come across a wrong word that seems to be a phonetic error rather than spelling.

For example: “The High Caughts ruling…”

A Noisy Noise Annoys An Oyster 2:49 pm 18 May 09

Sounds like the newsreader on 2UE who was reading a story about a salmonella outbreak in Sydney. She said that “the food had been contaminated with foreign orgasms”.

G-Fresh 2:21 pm 18 May 09

pembina said :

How about typos in news items? Is that newsworthy?

The answer is no.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy said :

a couple of typos in a job ad doesn’t seem to me to be news.

+1

Igglepiggle 2:18 pm 18 May 09

I love it. Always suspected that our intelligence forces were the crystal ball gazing types- how else are we going to find the WMDs?

ant 2:11 pm 18 May 09

well, it’s got me jiggered. I can’t find any mention of this role in the PSM…

pembina 1:51 pm 18 May 09

How about typos in news items? Is that newsworthy?

The recent article “Volunteer honoured for his ‘passion to help’ tells the story of a 34-year-old man who has been volunteering with the same organisation for 212 years! Now that’s passion!

http://www.canberratimes.com.au/news/local/news/general/volunteer-honoured-for-his-passion-to-help/1514838.aspx

I have screenshots if it’s changed. (3rd paragraph)

I suspect many people here will have already seen this, but I got a laugh and it seems kinda relevant, so here goes…

Mc Donalds Job Application

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida…and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

ant 12:56 pm 18 May 09

That is so funny! Another example of why you should never depend on the spell chequer.

Spam Box 12:11 pm 18 May 09

Reminds me of a funny typo I saw last week at Livenews (fixed now so no point linking) The article was about Defense troops in Afghanistan being encouraged to take out “Life assurance”

LOL – sounds like a good idea 🙂

eyeLikeCarrots 12:04 pm 18 May 09

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy said :

Funny and all, but a couple of typos in a job ad doesn’t seem to me to be news.

Funny if its in a job ad for Mc Donalds.

Embarassing if its authored by the same people who read your email and listen to your phone calls.

Alarming if its a failure of process for something as simple as a job ad in a process orientated org like Gov.

These people also write warrants…

Funny and all, but a couple of typos in a job ad doesn’t seem to me to be news.

54-11 11:51 am 18 May 09

I feel for the poor bugger who didn’t properly proof the copy before it went to the publisher. I can remember making a mistake (that fortunately got caught before too much embarassment) quite a few years ago and the shame lives with you for some time, especially with “mates” who don’t always forget.

Let those without sin…

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