31 May 2012

Batman Corbell to reduce crime by 10%

| johnboy
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Simon Corbell has announced his grand plan to cut crime in the ACT by 10% by 2015 and motorvehicle theft by 20%.

Mr Corbell said the government had developed a clear plan to achieve the new property crime
reduction targets.

“The government believes that stopping the cycle of reoffending, intervening early before offences take
place, creating a more robust support network for victims of crime as well as boosting security to local
community groups all help to prevent criminal activity and achieve the targets,” he said.

“This strategy focuses on government and the community working together to prevent crime, to keep
young people out of the justice system and to reduce the opportunity for crime by making public
places, cars and houses safer.”

Some of the key actions to break the cycle of crime include:
— Provide a turnaround program for vulnerable 12-18 year olds with intensive support needs requiring a multi-service response;
— Enhance Bimberi Youth Justice Centre educational, and training programs;
— Establish and implement the priorities outlined in the Blueprint for Youth Justice in the ACT; and,
— A continued target on recidivist offenders through the ACT Property Crime Targeting Team.

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Decriminalise if you are a Massey, that should slash the “crime” rate.

Recent research has shown that getting these scumbags watching movies or playing computer games reduces crime by reducing the time they have to commit crimes. I’m expecting an XBOX and Hoyts led crime reduction program.

On WIN news tonight it was said that one of the factors driving reduction in crime was more active enforcement of bail conditions.

Amazing, who’d ever have thought that making criminal behave or locking them up would help reduce the amount of crime they commit.

Step 1: Fly a helicopter over Belconnen every night.

I can picture Corbell leaning up against his window brooding and thinking to himself:

Simon C – People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy, and I can’t do that as Simon Corbell. As a man, I’m flesh and blood. I can be ignored, I can be destroyed. But as a symbol … as a symbol, I can be incorruptible. I can be everlasting.

Katie G – “What symbol?”

Simon C – “I’m not sure yet. Something elemental. Something terrifying, yet politically correct.”

Katie G – “I assume that as you’re taking on the underworld, this symbol is a persona to protect those you care about from embarrasment?

Simon C – You thinking about Roman Qualveding?

Katie G – Actually, I was thinking about myself.

VYBerlinaV8_is_back2:42 pm 31 May 12

How about identifying the dozen or so scumbags who commit the majority of burglaries in Canberra and giving them one way tickets to Somalia…?

FFS. More floggings with warm lettuces. Great approach, it’s clearly working.

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