BORING STORY: Arboretum gets some dirt delivered

Barcham 17 July 2013 19

A big part of my job is to read a lot of press releases and many of them are terrible. However it wasn’t until I read this one that it actually occurred to me that it’s someone’s job to write these terrible things.

Look at the title to this story, it’s boring. It’s exactly as boring as the story is. If I wanted to make it more exciting I could try “Manuka oval gutted as Arboretum steals land” but I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to trick you into thinking this story is interesting.

Still someone’s job was to try and make this story exciting so here’s the title that was attached to the press release I received this morning:



This guy went all out to make this story exciting.

The Arboretum didn’t just get dirt delivered, it scored some sweet soil!

This isn’t a delivery of dirt, it’s a trophy of excellence!

We even got some quotes from Arboretum General Manager Jason Brown.

“The redevelopment works at Manuka Oval have freed up approximately 3,000 cubic metres of excess top soil which will be transported to the Arboretum to assist in the development of new turf areas on the Event Terrace,” said Mr Brown.

“The soil from Manuka Oval is of good quality and is highly suitable for the Event Terrace. The Arboretum is very pleased to be able to recycle it and use the cost savings for other projects. It will also avoid wastage so it is a real win-win for both organisations.

“The National Arboretum will remain open however there will be a number of trucks entering and exiting the Arboretum between 7 am and 5 pm while the work is being undertaken.

“A traffic management plan will be in place on site and the stockpile area will be supervised by Arboretum staff and the authorised traffic controllers. However, with trucks entering and exiting the site, I advise all visitors to be a little more vigilant than usual especially with young children during this time.”

Mr Brown said the soil will initially be stockpiled on the Event Terrace before being spread in preparation for lawn areas in the coming weeks.Both the truck route and stockpile will be cordoned off to ensure public safety.

The ACT Government thanks the community for their patience during these works.

The place isn’t even closing for the afternoon.

This isn’t a public announcement.

This is a story about dirt being moved and some poor shmuck was told to ‘make it more exciting’.

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19 Responses to BORING STORY: Arboretum gets some dirt delivered
gentoopenguin gentoopenguin 10:39 am 19 Jul 13

They just wanted to give you the dirt on an exciting story….

poetix poetix 8:58 pm 17 Jul 13

BROWN SOILS PARK! might have been an attention getter, with the deliberate ambiguities as to whether BROWN is a proper noun or an adjective, and whether SOILS is a verb or a noun.

Aeek Aeek 7:21 pm 17 Jul 13

cranky said :

#10; I hope they built the roads to handle 45 tonne truck combinations. Somehow, I doubt it.

Up top was the GDE construction park.

p1 p1 7:15 pm 17 Jul 13

Why all these ped related stories all of a sudden?

zippyzippy zippyzippy 6:45 pm 17 Jul 13

Reusing some soil, saving some money, I’ve seen a lot worse…. Whoah, as I type this I see that WIN news just did a story on the famous dirt relocation! Dirt story is going off!

cranky cranky 5:37 pm 17 Jul 13

Devils advocate.

#7; Shouldn’t that be East Belconnen?

#10; I hope they built the roads to handle 45 tonne truck combinations. Somehow, I doubt it.

gazket gazket 4:02 pm 17 Jul 13

ex Gillard spin doctor found a new job

Barcham Barcham 3:54 pm 17 Jul 13

artuoui said :

That poor schmuck did well. It got a run on Riot Act.

He did!

I have no idea what I would have done if I were given the task.

gazket gazket 3:37 pm 17 Jul 13

GardeningGirl said :

All I could think of was did they test it for asbestos. 🙁

I doubt asbestos has been somehow hiding and undetected in the topsoil at Manuka oval . The top soil would only be around 4/6 inches of dirt.

The top soil has most likely been replaced a number of times over the years at Manuka oval.

Russ Russ 3:36 pm 17 Jul 13

Given they made the access road too narrow to simultaneously accommodate both cars and the many cyclists who make the trip up there, at 25 cubes a truck & dog load, the 240 truck movements required to shift the dirt should make life interesting.

noma noma 2:52 pm 17 Jul 13

did somebody say “arBOREtum”?

ba dum chhh

GardeningGirl GardeningGirl 2:38 pm 17 Jul 13

All I could think of was did they test it for asbestos. 🙁

PantsMan PantsMan 2:13 pm 17 Jul 13

Trucks! On a public road! During business hours! Stop the presses.

If he/she really wanted to make it exciting, he could have titled it something like:

Manuka asbestos moved to West Belconnen at taxpayers’ expense.

dungfungus dungfungus 2:09 pm 17 Jul 13

I would have made the headline something like:
“Identity Crisis at National Arboretum – Can’t decide Between Growing Trees or Turf”

Which is the most exciting?
Watching dirt be delivered or watching trees or turf grow.

Masquara Masquara 2:08 pm 17 Jul 13

Well they got the story out there … so it isn’t really a fail …

nsn nsn 1:54 pm 17 Jul 13

Borchma, did you just criticise someone for spelling a word incorrectly? Really?

artuoui artuoui 1:42 pm 17 Jul 13

That poor schmuck did well. It got a run on Riot Act.

Solidarity Solidarity 1:19 pm 17 Jul 13

I was expecting a boring story and got something mildly interesting about how people sensationalise boring press releases. I’m unsure how I feel about this.

HiddenDragon HiddenDragon 12:20 pm 17 Jul 13

With “efficiency dividends” being applied left, right and centre, it is difficult to see how the production of press releases such as this can continue to be seen as a priority. Likewise the resources which are expended briefing/informing/advising Ministers, and their staffers, about matters in which they have no interest, and for which they will take absolutely no responsibility if something goes wrong.

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