7 January 2009

Building a freak bike with the Rat Patrol

| johnboy
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[First filed: January 05, 2009 @ 16:14]

My last bike cost me a few hundred dollars from a sports shop. It had a big heavy frame and was quite good at getting me to and from pubs in the Inner North without mishap.

But after a year at the coast the spokes had all rusted through and the chain had welded itself onto the gears. The consensus was that repair would be more expensive than getting a new bike.

But what sort of new bike to get?

Hundreds of dollars on a mountain bike seemed like overkill for trundling gently to bars or the shops. Zippy racing bikes are even less suited to my needs. There’s a bloke on Davidson Street in Ainslie who sells vintage bikes from his front lawn, but being over 90kg I find weaker bikes end up buckling on me.

And then seeing Rat Patrol freak bikes parked at Ainslie shops I was inspired.

I wanted a rat bike.

Fortunately I knew that RiotACT’s Loose Brown is a mover and shaker amongst the rats so I got in touch with him and asked if he could help.

(More and a slideshow below)

LB very kindly agreed to volunteer some time, effort, and materials. In turn I provided a case of beer over the course of the process.

Before we could kick off a trailer had to be procured. Finally the day came when LB had gained access to a trailer and we were off to Aussie Junk at Mitchell.

There we spent some time kicking the flat tires in the bicycle graveyard and looking for broken welds. Eventually we decided we liked the look of a red Huffy Cortez. Wheeling it to the front counter I was pleased to discover this solid bike would cost me a whole $15.

On later inspection it turned out that the only repairs the bike needed was getting the tires pumped up. So it was with some sadness that on a following Tuesday night I rode a rather excellent and fully functional bicycle to the secret Rat Pad at an undisclosable location in the Inner North. I had some idea what we were about to do to it.

There followed an education in such things as how to remove the head set and forks from a mountain bike. I then learned how to change the cutting disk on an electric grinder, followed by cutting up the forks of my new bike.

A lesson then followed in how to use a wire brush on an electric drill to remove paint prior to welding, and I learned a great deal about the importance of wearing safety goggles from rat patrollers who had spent evenings in emergency getting bits of metal taken out of their eyes.

At this point a word on the Rat Pad and build nights.

The Rat’s moving lair fills a member’s backyard with a bicycle graveyard (see slideshow). A shed houses a tool board with needful things and a curtain rail full of ear protection and safety goggles.

There is a lot of beer, and loud music (LB describes Rat Patrol as “A drinking club with a bicycle problem”). At 10pm all grinding must cease so as not to antagonise neighbours and the music gets turned down too.

Whenever anyone says “Welding!” it’s a cue to close your eyes and turn away.

As and when parts were needed I was sent out to the graveyard to find an appropriate looking bike carcass to remove the part from. Sometimes on my return there would be some tooth-sucking and it would become clear that someone else had their eyes on that part or bike for another project.

By the end of the first night we had mostly completed the new super long tubular steel forks for my chopper.

On the second night we had it all together and various ratters assembled out the front of the rat pad to take turns on the new creation, which shall hereafter be known as Rodrigo.

After a number of big guys had tried out their bunny hops and gutter bouncing, Rodrigo was declared fit, sound, and unusually comfortable and sweet tempered chopper bike.

It’s a comfortable ride now, although I have plans to swap the handlebars out for apehangers, and maybe to move the pedals further forward.

All up the cost of it came out well under $50 (less beer).

Going on my first ride with the Rat Patrol and being inducted as a full member is a pleasure I hope to experience in the future.

In the meantime I’ve got exactly the bike I wanted.

And I had a lot of fun along the way too.

I’d never used a cutter, or a welder, or polished metal, before I started this. If you’re interested in giving it a go the guys and girls of the Rat Patrol are very friendly and helpful. You can contact them via the above link.

Here’s a slideshow of the process:

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Danman/Kramer: Yes, I like the idea of an interim tube to save time-hassle (mind you, it only ever takes me 5 mins to repair a puncture forever) — the only prob I have with that approach is that to make a good repair with a vulcanising patch means pumping it up hard as soon as you pop it back on the wheel, then ride… ie. a vulcanised repair job requires good pressure to make it stick forever. The more pressure, the more it sticks. Not many things worse than repairing you own puncture repairs.

So in the end, I make up the 4-5 extra minutes lost at work, and I arrive home with no further repairs, wheel-takings-off or repairing to do. I like that. Oh, and I don’t have to carry a spare tube everywhere I go… that space can be used for beer.

Kramer said :

Granny & P1 – Yes, I believe the word nix has evolved from the old days of wooden bikes…. nix <= knicks <=knickerbockers. There have been a few bike races, mainly late at night, where a competitor has headed out for a lap clad only in a g-string, bike shoes & helmet!?!

God I hope they were female Kramer!

I’m a fan of the spare tube, and I actually carry two and a puncture kit – as the gods can (and have) been angry some days (and nights). If it’s not too badly damaged, I’ll patch the tube when I get home and add it to my collection.

The best prevention for flats is 2.5 triple ply tyres with downhill tubes. Although nothing beats a 10cm nail hiding in the grass.

Granny & P1 – Yes, I believe the word nix has evolved from the old days of wooden bikes…. nix <= knicks <=knickerbockers. There have been a few bike races, mainly late at night, where a competitor has headed out for a lap clad only in a g-string, bike shoes & helmet!?!

Quite possibly, p1!

; )

However, lacy black g-strings may have aerodynamic properties still undiscovered as yet ….

Short for knickers, do you think Granny? Although Krammer also said “These days you’ll only see me just nix for racing (and yes I wear plain black nix and virtually everyone does it for racing).”, and the picture on my head of bicycle riders all in lacy black g-strings (but only for races) is slightly disturbing.

Limp Jimmy, I assume the spare tyre thing is a matter of pumping up time vs repair time as a lot of people riding actually have to be somewhere at a certain time.

If I get a puncture on the way to work I’d rather replace the tube and repair the old one later rather than waiting for contact adhesive and then pumping it up.

Having said that, I have been riding on 85psi 26×1.95 semi slicks with kevlar lining, a tyre liner (Essential regardless) and extra thick inner tubes. Sure it weighs me down a lot more than Mr+Mrs My Bike Is Better, who fly past me every day, but it makes me a lot fitter having to work harder – and yet to get a puncture.

If I did, I would prefer not pfaffing around and just slap a new tube in and pump it up.

It’s a technical term I presume, p1!

What are nix?

Y’must have a good seat, Jimmy. I like the shy shorts becuase they stop me getting mud and grease all over my other shorts.

Kmart/Target sell no-name bike shorts for much less than shiny Kathmandu ones, IIRC.

Netti, Kathmandu… it’s all lycra, people! Ha ha, good old irony.

My legs are hairy and I don’t wear lycra when I ride. I didn’t wear them when I rode from Belgium, around the Spanish coast to Lisbon in a summer heatwave. One of many rides. Still, that’s just me. I could be crazy.

that’s right 3,000km without lycra, or so much as a single puncture. BUT if I had a puncture I would have repaired it forever at about 5c per self-made patch. No, why the fark would you carry a spare inner tube? What happens when you get 2 punctures?

Don’t get me started about people who attempt to somehow justify why carrying a spare tube is way better than an unlimited supply of 5c puncture repairs. You can buy the patch material mat from only a couple of bike shop shops around town (surprise surprise!).

I recently bought some lycra clothing — arm warmers, no less! No, not for riding, for flying my hang glider. Even tho they are black and lack any brightly-coloured brand name logo designs, they seem to work very well 🙂

Netti Shy Shorts are another good choice. Although I usually wear normal nix with a pair of harder wearing MTB shorts over the top – it protects my modesty & nix in the event of a crash (yes, I have crashed when wearing only nix and ripped the arse outta myself and the nix – the rest of the ride was interesting!). These days you’ll only see me just nix for racing (and yes I wear plain black nix and virtually everyone does it for racing).

kean van choc2:21 pm 08 Jan 09

Kathmandu sell bike shorts which have a tight inner covered by a normal-ish looking pair of shorts – bike shorts and shorts all rolled into one! They also have a nice padded part for butt protection. Not bad value when they have a 50% sale on, but overpriced when at full price.

JB – good effort, but I reckon she’s a bit high for a cruiser! You should have cut off the head tube to slacken off the head angle too, that way your cranks wouldn’t be up in the air. Definitely new bars should be on the agenda.

So if you really lean and turn it into a corner does it hook into it, or flop over?

“Bike shorts are fine, covered by regualr shorts, but for the love of god, Lycra body suits should be outlawed.”

The UCI has outlawed skin suits in downhill mountain bike racing from this year! (Primarily because riders were racing with only a skinsuit and the mandatory full face helmet, leaving their body armour behind for their final race runs)

Loose Brown22:49 pm 07 Jan 09

Ha ha Peppablack, that sounds hilarious! I have visions of you flying out across a major intersection pulled by massive huskies with tongues hanging out.

I’d say though that Rat Patrol are more into the bikes than projects like yours. But buy a small arc welder and fulfill your dream!

I’ve had to wear lycra for other sports and I can say it’s thoroughly overrated.

Bike shorts are good to stop chafing, but they are aesthetically problematic. I wear “shy shorts” for that very reason.

JB – Do you know who I can contact in modifying a bike to a scooter bike for dog sledding?

I have heard that BMX bikes are used to modify these to resemble scooters. Would it be worth checking out Aussie Junk at Mitchell and then getting the Rat Pad to modify it.

Any advise is helpful….thanks

Loose Brown22:37 pm 07 Jan 09

I have never worn lycra, but there must be something in it because so many people do. So I will reserve judgement until I have actually tried it.

tylersmayhem said :

I ride an old school, heavy, solid tail APOLLO MTB 32km, 3 times a week, rain hail, shine and wear a t-shirt and trackies or shorts depending on weather.

Are you a hairy b*stard tho Dan? I HAVE to wear bike shorts if I don’t want to be walking around like a Texan sheriff all day. I’ll always wear bike shorts if it means no chafe!

I feels your pain Tylers, I feels your pain…

I have bik shorts for the same reason.

Tylers, I find that the APOLLO becomes the chafemaster 2000 only after several weeks of sedentry activity i.e. my commencement of riding after 3 weeks OS. After the first 2 days I am usually ok.

Bike shorts are fine, covered by regualr shorts, but for the love of god, Lycra body suits should be outlawed.

I myself have considered buying some skins for my legs but definetly to be used in conjunctuion with regular shorts.

tylersmayhem2:16 pm 07 Jan 09

Haha – I was somehow expecting a comment from you Skidd 😉

tylersmayhem said :

Oh god, now I’ve started it! I should have known better (now I’m a prisoner to this pain)…

“And my heart still aches for you.”

That mulleted douche gave my family a bad name.

tylersmayhem1:53 pm 07 Jan 09

I ride an old school, heavy, solid tail APOLLO MTB 32km, 3 times a week, rain hail, shine and wear a t-shirt and trackies or shorts depending on weather.

Are you a hairy b*stard tho Dan? I HAVE to wear bike shorts if I don’t want to be walking around like a Texan sheriff all day. I’ll always wear bike shorts if it means no chafe!

I just switched to a road bike with low bars. I was at eye level with it.

“NYAAAARGH! I CAN SEE THROUGH TIME!”

I’m looking at you white-bike-short-guy-on-the-Scrivener-Dam-bike-path-this-morning. I know what religion you are

Either you noticed from behind that he was REALLY well endowed (i.e. strapped to his leg), or you were watching him suspiciously closely as he approached from afar.

I dont understand Lycra – sure it has it’s place for professionals, but people @ work who ride 5km return seem to be scene riders who like to be seen doing their riding in all the right gear with the most expensive bike etc.

I ride an old school, heavy, solid tail APOLLO MTB 32km, 3 times a week, rain hail, shine and wear a t-shirt and trackies or shorts depending on weather.

What was also funny was the christmas present bikers and new years resolution bikers who rode in on monday but decided it was too hot on Monday afternoon, so have not ridden in since.

That kind of dedication is awesome.

Sorry. I was just a little traumatised by the sight of a middle aged man’s wang.

tylersmayhem1:24 pm 07 Jan 09

Oh god, now I’ve started it! I should have known better (now I’m a prisoner to this pain)…

I really don’t understand the obsession with lycra. What causes otherwise sensible people to want to clad themselves in clingy fabric to undertake an activity that doesn’t require it? Especially when they’re overweight and pushing 50. The bike pants I (kinda) get (life is more comfortable on long rides with a pad under the ‘taint), but the rest…why?

And for the love of god people; if you must wear bike pants, make sure they’re black or wear something over the top of them. I’m looking at you white-bike-short-guy-on-the-Scrivener-Dam-bike-path-this-morning. I know what religion you are.

tylersmayhem said :

He and the Rat Patrol guys are REAL cyclists, as opposed to the Lycra Lance Armstrong wannabees. I suggest you read the Rat Patrol manifesto (an excerpt can be found at post #35) it’s righteous.

Just to clear he air AH – I was only kidding and making a mockery of some of the mindless comments I read on RA in 2008. I have no doubt that Ratters are “real” cyclists.

Next thing you know I’ll be called a “troll” 😉

Understood man! Sorry if I came across as having a go at ya! I know you were only kidding…

I hate those Lycra wearers so much, just the thought of them makes the red mist creep into my brain and I go off all half-cocked.

But you have to admit, that manifesto is righteous! I love it!

tylersmayhem12:44 pm 07 Jan 09

He and the Rat Patrol guys are REAL cyclists, as opposed to the Lycra Lance Armstrong wannabees. I suggest you read the Rat Patrol manifesto (an excerpt can be found at post #35) it’s righteous.

Just to clear he air AH – I was only kidding and making a mockery of some of the mindless comments I read on RA in 2008. I have no doubt that Ratters are “real” cyclists.

Next thing you know I’ll be called a “troll” 😉

tylersmayhem said :

JB, you’re not a real cyclist mate – where’s the lycra? And I certainly hope when the nobs get their way, that you’ll get that contraption registered! 😛

He and the Rat Patrol guys are REAL cyclists, as opposed to the Lycra Lance Armstrong wannabees. I suggest you read the Rat Patrol manifesto (an excerpt can be found at post #35) it’s righteous.

tylersmayhem11:40 am 07 Jan 09

JB, you’re not a real cyclist mate – where’s the lycra? And I certainly hope when the nobs get their way, that you’ll get that contraption registered! 😛

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy5:02 pm 06 Jan 09

I used to regularly walk past one of the guvvie apartments on the eastern side of Northbourne near Haigh Park that literally had about 100 bikes in it’s walled in courtyard. I’m fairly tall, and snuck a peak over the top one day. I’d be looking there as your first port of call…

*LOL*

Well, you don’t see that every day!! I reckon I could easily walk into a tree if that one came cycling by ….

‘Son of Schloooong’ will have to have some kind of hidden GPS tracking type gizmo, so you can perform a few snout-bending manoeuvers on these puddin’ and cycle thieving kinds … on a strictly as-needed basis, that is.

Loose Brown24:00 pm 06 Jan 09

Yep! Go to:

http://www.rat-patrol.org/RPOz/

Click on FART (Functional Art), scroll down to Schloooong Bike.

Then go back and click on RIDES – be prepared to waste a few hours!!!

Do you have any pictures of ‘The Schloooong Bike’?

Good job Johnboy!!!!!!!!!! Good job.

I assume Granny is talking about SS Mitzie. Yes, agreed. Perhaps it’s even cooler than my foldable street chopper (tho, I doubt it: http://www.rat-patrol.org/RPOz/FArt/splitPea.html), or perhaps my off-road chopper (http://www.rat-patrol.org/RPOz/FArt/zedsDead.html), or maybe not.

I believe we are also commencing a new infestation of operations in Melbourne… as of this weekend! This a blow for our elitist bike shop enimies in Melbourne and around the world.

———————
A excerpt from our Manifesto for those of you who both read and think:

After the first Earth Day in 1970 awakened Americans to the acute dangers of rampant consumerism and pollution, the progressive hope of that message of conservation was soon undermined by capitalist oil and auto company “green-washing.” Realizing that their years of freely exploiting the environment would now be hampered by more public scrutiny, these companies sought to disguise their true anti-green intentions behind a facade of tree-hugging ad campaigns and publicity stunts. With slick advertising and industry-funded scientific studies, these oil and gas companies have attempted to coopt many major environmental groups in order to control the direction of all discussion on fossil fuels and global warming, all the while protecting the highly profitable and addictive relationship America has with crude oil and mass consumption.

More recently, numerous independent pro-bike and alternative transportation movements are once again making the public aware of oil dependency and global warming problems that never went away. But will these progressive movements be able to continue pressing for change? Or are they in danger of losing the freedom of their independent outsider status? Will these independent
pro-bike movements only be co-opted by multinational corporations in the same way that Exxon and Ford co-opted Earth Day celebrations in the 1990s? The sad truth is that this may already have happened.

Consider the dependency these pro-bike organizations have on bicycle manufacturers. Consider the paradox that attempts to reduce resource consumption by promoting non-fossil-fueled transportation options have resulted in INCREASED consumption of bicycle equipment. These same pro-bike organizations have become tools of the international sporting goods industrial complex.

A simple trip to a bicycle shop will quickly convince you of the serious nature of the dependence these sporting goods manufacturers have created. Just as the delusions feeding the auto-addiction culture are dreamed up by multinational oil and auto companies, the sporting goods manufacturers sell wet dreams of freedom and escape to poor addicted sporting goods “users.” The pathetic sports junkie on a bicycle is no more free than a motorist trapped in an SUV in a traffic jam.

Thus we see that this sporting goods addiction culture is perhaps far more sinister than the auto-addiction culture, for while auto companies force their wares upon the public through incessant mass-market television advertisements, the sporting goods companies have managed to brainwash an entire army of evangelical zealots to strong-arm unsuspecting citizens into unquestioning servitude one by one.

How else can one explain the irrational and desperate attempts by bike shop employees to coerce customers with simple questions into buying unneeded new, expensive equipment? How else to explain the void of self-doubt which athletes attempt to cover with spandex outfits and titanium objects of veneration? How else to explain the nervous guilt which drives the sporting goods “user” to look down upon to those who do not ride as fast, or as far, or as often? There are no explanations for this irrational behavior other than that these are sick symptoms of an addiction created and enabled by the sporting goods industrial complex.

The worrisome part of this conclusion is the realization that many progressive pro-bike organizations have already been infiltrated by addicts and slaves to the multinational sporting goods manufacturers.

Loose Brown23:31 pm 06 Jan 09

If anyone sees it – please let me know… somehow. It has been seen being ridden by a large, bearded man clutching a beer can near the Braddon shop – the really dodgy one.

However, given it is so easily recognised I suspect it is lying in long grass somewhere, next to a broken fridge, quietly rusting away.

The forgotten victim of a night of high jinks perhaps? RIP Schlong.

How many people have to be pedalling before it counts as a motorboat and is no longer allowed on the lake.

Oh fark! The Schloooong Bike is the most awesome thing I have ever seen! Bugger it got knocked off!

Loose Brown23:15 pm 06 Jan 09

Limp Jimmy and Nancy Porker built this superb craft.

If you want to see cool – check out the National Tallbike Jousting Championships to be held at Corinbank Music Festival. I will be defending my title against all comers. (The drunker the better!! I will be sober as a judge)

That is probably the coolest thing I have ever seen … ever!!

Steady Eddie said :

On a related matter, has anybody noticed that OnyaBike Warehouse is about to open in the old Blockbuster store on Botany St, Phillip? This is only a few doors down from the existing bike shop (which, if I’m not mistaken has been in business for over 30 years and began as Big B Bicycles around the corner in Townshend St where the saddlery is now). Not only that, there is another bike shop a few metres away in the Paul’s Centre (next to High Country Meats). How has this been allowed to happen and how will they all survive, especially in the current economic environment?

Bike shops do tend to cluster in Canberra. The inner north is crammed with them: three in the same street in Braddon; one in O’Connor and one in Lyneham; in addition to the big stores in Mitchell and Belco. This is a good thing for consumers – bike shops, like other specialist stores, need competition to keep them customer-focused and you will likely see healthy price competition between the three in Phillip. Canberrans probably ride more than other cities, and in the current economic climate bike sales are booming!

Loose Brown2 said :

No maybes about it – JB has the bug.

Next to scrape the rust off the amphibious couchbike, pump up the tyres and undertake the perilous journey across Lake Burley Griffin. I nominate Angry Henry, JB and myself as pilots.

http://www.rat-patrol.org/RPOz/FArt/mitzie.html

Will pedal for beer. :o)

A truly magnificent piece of fart.

Do I need a boat license and does it come with lifejackets?

Just name the day…

SS Mitzie has left the shipyards? Rawk!

Loose Brown22:28 pm 06 Jan 09

No maybes about it – JB has the bug.

Next to scrape the rust off the amphibious couchbike, pump up the tyres and undertake the perilous journey across Lake Burley Griffin. I nominate Angry Henry, JB and myself as pilots.

http://www.rat-patrol.org/RPOz/FArt/mitzie.html

Good first effort JB. Gonna build a tallbike too?

Ever take it off any sweet jumps???

That rules! I think riotACT biker vests should be the next marketing push from you guys. Just don’t wear them near the rebs!

Needs a big sissy bar……

Seat mod is definitely on the “to do” list.

Please tell me you modded the seat! Yowce.

But yes that bike is, indeed, ‘mad’. Also ‘wicked’.

Bloody impressive. Bikes are cool, recycling is cool, learning new stuff is cool, but….the Rollins Band 1994 tour shirt is the coolest 😉

Some choppers can be very unstable, I got lucky with this one, it has a very wide turning circle but otherwise is very comfortable and goes only where I want it to.

awesome bike. me jealous.

it makes me feel like chainsawing up my perfectly good rust-free hundreds-of-dollars bike and putting it back together with a bag over my head after drinking a case of beer. 😉

Sweeeeet. Is it hard to ride though, Johnboy?

Some kids when I was in Primary stole some gear from a building site in Charnwood and built themselves some chopper bikes, mainly extending their forks. The bikes looked great but freaking hard to control.

Your rack isn’t straight – Fail. You’re riding a girls frame – Pansy.

*kidding*

Looks like a good first effort and remember; Live Slow, Ride Fast.

Woody Mann-Caruso6:44 pm 05 Jan 09

Sweeeet. Definitely needs apes for that real chopper look.

Looks difficult to ride to me, but whatever floats your boat or something

I suppose it’d work well enough at low to medium speed for short distances

That’s freakin’ cool as.

Not so much a related matter as an unrelated matter on a different subject?

Perhaps let’s see this posted as a new story?

Steady Eddie5:22 pm 05 Jan 09

On a related matter, has anybody noticed that OnyaBike Warehouse is about to open in the old Blockbuster store on Botany St, Phillip? This is only a few doors down from the existing bike shop (which, if I’m not mistaken has been in business for over 30 years and began as Big B Bicycles around the corner in Townshend St where the saddlery is now). Not only that, there is another bike shop a few metres away in the Paul’s Centre (next to High Country Meats). How has this been allowed to happen and how will they all survive, especially in the current economic environment?

Loose Brown24:36 pm 05 Jan 09

She’s lovely and I have met her so I win.

We’ve agreed to disagree on the subject of Ms. Hardie.

Jb:
Aren’t these the same people that your Arch-Nemesis did a piece on a while back?

You need to put cards on the forks, so your bike can go THOKKA THOKKA THOKKA

Loose Brown24:28 pm 05 Jan 09

Ha ha nice one JB – you also need a coat of primer – rust looks cool but adds nothing to structural integrity.

Let me be the first to say:

“They see me rollin’, they hatin'”

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