Candidates’ websites – October 2008

johnboy 15 October 2008 144

[First filed: October 13, 2008 @ 23:43]

Candidate websites are in decline.

Politicians seem to have realised that the web is hostile territory where people won’t always say what you want them to say. Much safer to stick to older school media where opinion can be safely bought and sold, to be ladled to the dwindling band of proles still receptive on their couches.

A minority of candidates, however, are still giving the interwebs a go.

I plugged the laptop into the tele and got my politically apathetic housemates to give their opinions of the various websites and, photography permitting, crumpet factor, of those who would rule over us for the next four long years.

For those unwilling to wade through the notes I can say it was an all Labor show.

Mary Porter has the best website by far. Adina Cirson (pictured) wins the crumpet factor, with Andrew Barr the only male to make the crumpet list (should have had a website Morgo).

Mike Hettinger also features with the ugliest website, possibly the ugliest website ever produced outside the educational sector.

Steve Doszpot

It has elegant design. And it’s well set out. But making text deliberately small is just silly.

A decent effort, but unremarkable.

Joy Burch

Unremarkable and dull, lacking in appeal. But she seems like a nice person.

Mick Gentleman

A housemate thinks he looks a little insane

As for the site the fonts are too busy and it looks like a blog. A plain blog.

John Hargreaves

When his picture came up the comment was “eahhh…”

But the site looks friendly, if a little empty.

Tracy Mackey

This page is super trendy with the centrepiece being a flash driven slideshow zapping gormless motherhood statements into your brain.

The problem is that periodically the same photo keeps flashing

It’s otherwise light on content.

Wayne Seivers

Wayne Sievers is a serious man, but perhaps the site could have benefitted from less photographs of him rather than more, because he’s no oil painting.

The use of hyper-emphasis which drops high level heading text into the middle of paragraphs was also not appreciated by the housemates who shrieked “STOP YELLING AT ME” at Wayne’s visage.

On the other hand he mentions RiotACT on the front page so he gets a plus mark.

The Motorists Party are too busy reminiscing about Pauline Hanson to do web pages. But we did have lots of giggles looking at their photos. William “Andrew” Simington always got a laugh when spirits were flagging.

Anyone want to speculate on why all the AMP candidates are men in white shirts? Hasn’t history shown us poor results when political movements wear uniforms?

The housemates wanted to know why they’re all so ugly?

Chris Bourke

The housemates quite liked the look of Chris Bourke saying he looks reasonable, with quite a pleasant face.

The website on the other hand is dull, sparse, with not much to it.

Adina Cirson

According to her website Adina is “one of us”

Which made us wonder what if God was one of us?

And is she trying to hide being an alien?

The site has far too many colours. They clash. And the whole thing is not pleasant to look at.

In a rare break with convention the candidate appears to be the child standing next to the grownups, and is not the focus of the pictures.

Mary Porter

This is a very pleasant, very well laid out website.

By far the best on offer for any candidate. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what ails a site but this one is rolled gold.

Roger Nicoll

An ugly and disinterested site with mixed fonts and motherhood statements heavy, everything else light.

Jacqui Myers

Like Adina, Jacqui claims to be “one of us” with all the slightly creepy overtones entailled.

While not making the crumpet list she was considered to have a reasonably pleasant face.

Nothing too exciting about the site but no complaints.

Andrea Tokaji

Andrea has a myspace page with all the ugliness that entails.

She also proves that scans of campaign literature don’t work on the web.

And she scored as crumpet.

Matthew Watts

Mismatched fonts, and bad proportions were balanced by a link to RiotACT on the front page.

Matt on his soapbox did not impress. Although he was accused of looking at one of the housemates “funny” one night in the Pot Belly. Make of that what you will.

Harold Hird


Egocentric and yet with nothing on it other than the colour green, buttons and a photo.

It says “Hello, and welcome to my web site,” welcome to 1995.

And how many fonts do you need? Three? Four different fonts?

Mark Parton

It’s generally considered to be one of the better sites, and it didn’t make anyone’s eyeballs hurt.

Adam Verwey

Adam was considered to be possible crumpet, but with insufficient detail in the photo no verdict could be reached.

The site design was considered harmless if slightly amateur.

Darren Churchill

Popups everwhere!!!!! Nowhere is safe to mouse!

We thought it had the same picture over and over but down the bottom there lurked a new one.

Andrew Barr

The only male crumpet in the pack the website also rated well with the layout especially pleasing.

Eleanor Bates

Housemates wanted to know why is her neck the same size as her head?

It’s dull, but well set out and she rated as Semi-crumpet

Simon Corbell

“Our city is under a tack!”

This site bugged me so much.

So very much effort has gone into annoying the user.

It changed the mouse cursor to something blue. “Give me back my mouse bitches!” shrieked the housemates.

And if you have sound turned on it makes a HORRID HORRID noise – like a coin on glass – when mousing over the menu buttons. Why go to that much effort to upset visitors?

The big red tack stabbing into Canberra was thought to be a positive, distracting from Simon’s zombie like visage,

After some debate zombies were prefered to giant tacks.

Katy Gallagher

Despite a staggeringly dorky “Welcome to my new website!” message Katy scored as crumpet.

The site also featured far too much red text. But was otherwise workmanlike.

Mike Hettinger

“OH MY GOD” we all screamed.

“MAKE IT GO AWAY” followed forthwith.

Then we all fell around laughing for some time.

The housemates decided that young Mike was crumpet in his USAF uniform. Current Mike less so.

Outside of the education sector it’s possibly the ugliest website ever made.

David Matthews

David’s eyebrows were thought to be on the scary side.

But on the plus we were able to find his page even though he shares a name with a rock star.

The website cunningly matches his grey suit and hair.

But it was thought he needs more information on the front page, and less begging.

Norvan Vogt

“welcome to my little part of Cyberspace” was not a winning message with the housemates.

Now was two shades of orange for communicating. And not much to communicate.

Elena Kirschbaum

Another Myspace page, and one of the more elegant ones out there.

Elena’s reputation of emo-hate had preceded her and the housemates were not pleased.

“I think the reason she hates emos is they’re so much more beautiful than her,” said one.

“It’s time to grow up and get a real website,” said another.

It also features leftover senate campaign information and puts her a year younger than her profile data suggests.

Belinda Barnier

“She looks like she’d be a nice mum,” was the verdict.

A good looking site at the top of the page, down the bottom it looks like her kids have been trying to help out.

Red buttons with bevelled edges and mismatched fonts urgh. Ticker blech.

But there’s some nice use of themes with imagery.

Jacqui Burke

“It is a pleasure to welcome you to my homepage,” is the opening piece of patronisation.

On the site there’s very little to indicate she’s a Liberal.

It makes nice use of simple points and benefits from a well thought out soft palette.

Definitely one of the better ones.

Jeremy Hanson

This site is a triumph of style over substance.

It plays up his Army links but features such comedy boxes as:

    “Upcoming Event
    No Upcoming Event”

It also starts an auto-load of video which is a great way to seriously annoy visitors.

Gary Kent

Grey text on white, with a grey background.

The site makes a point of flogging opportunities to help him, and fourteen mentions of the word “Gary”

Greg Tannahill

It’s a default template blogspot blog, hasn’t been updated since August.

It screams “I wish I’d never let them talk me into doing this”.

Apologies if I’ve missed anyone, but frankly if you can’t get your site into the first couple of pages of google results you’re just not trying very hard.

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144 Responses to Candidates’ websites – October 2008
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tylersmayhem tylersmayhem 12:38 pm 17 Oct 08

You and your kind, please climb out of our gene pool and just walk away.

I assume that you are referring to Norvan with that quote Skid?! That said, how exactly could one do that – it’s kind of impossible.

Skidbladnir Skidbladnir 11:25 am 17 Oct 08

Is it ironic that Norvan Vogt’s site is different shades of Ginger?

You and your kind, please climb out of our gene pool and just walk away.

Irony is like goldy, just more ferrous.

Irony as an abstract concept is an indirect presentation of a contradiction between action, reaction, or expression, and the context in which it occurs.
In speech and prose, emphasis is placed on the opposition between the literal and intended meaning of a statement; one thing is said and its opposite implied, as in the comment, “Beautiful weather, isn’t it?” if made during a cyclone.

You are thinking of Alanis Morriset irony, which is like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife.
Alanis Morreset’s attempt at a simple expression of technical irony is, itself, technically ironic at a cosmic level.
May she and her progeny be doomed to explain that song until their seventh generation.

tylersmayhem tylersmayhem 11:08 am 17 Oct 08

Is it ironic that Norvan Vogt’s site is different shades of Ginger?

I must say though, the photo on his site is VERY “rock n’ Roll”, kind of Josh, the lead singer from Queens Of The Stone Age LOL

Sorry Norvan, I just can’t bring myself to vogt for you.

Granny Granny 1:26 pm 16 Oct 08

I don’t believe Johnboy is sexist any more than I would believe he is racist.

Some of the posters are, but there are an awful lot of good men here. You know it is true, or you wouldn’t keep posting yourself.

I think everyone was upset by yesterday one way or another. A lot of us are really fond of Loquaciousness.

politikos politikos 11:25 am 16 Oct 08

areaman said :

Just look as the beauty queen the GOP is running for vice president,

I’d say being attractive can be quite a handicap for an ambitious woman – look at how much Sarah Palin cops because she won a minor beauty contest decades ago! Do you seriously think she was chosen for her looks?! You don’t hear people saying that Julia Gillard got where she did because she’s so attractive, do you? I just think everyone should relax and accept that we look at both men and women and make an aesthetic evaluation, and discussing what we think is proving a good diversion from the asinine political campaign currently underway. Chill out!

sepi sepi 11:17 am 16 Oct 08

‘Presentation’ is a very very polite way of describing attributes of a MYLF.

Perhaps politics is your calling afterall.

areaman areaman 10:54 am 16 Oct 08

Except the judges were women.

Well you should have made that clear and that doesn’t invalidate my other two problems.

I hate to say it but candidates know that they are going to be judged on presentation as much as anything else, especially the women (a sad but true reflection on society more than anything else).

I have no doubt, and I’m just as guilty of it as the next guy but that doesn’t mean we should embrace it.

harvyk1 harvyk1 10:18 am 16 Oct 08

Gees there has been just the one or two posts since I last read this.

I hate to say it but candidates know that they are going to be judged on presentation as much as anything else, especially the women (a sad but true reflection on society more than anything else).

Otherwise let’s face it they’d be waring trackydaks and probably wouldn’t both shaving, or even bother running a comb through their hair in the mornings. (it would be easier for them as most pollies are fairly time poor). But no, they know that a good proportion of voters will judge them on their look as much as anything else, and on election day the beautiful \ hansom people are going to be remembered by the general voting public.

Considering that looks play no part in a persons ability to run (in this case a small territory) they do spend quite a bit of time making sure they look good \ pretty for the camera’s (both the men and women)

johnboy johnboy 10:02 am 16 Oct 08

Except the judges were women.

areaman areaman 2:56 am 16 Oct 08

I’ve got to back up the women here. I’m a straight man, but rating the candidates by how hot you think they are is cheap and crass. Sure you can say that you rated the men as well but firstly as a (i assume) straight guy you’re always going to rate the women higher.

Additionally men don’t have a historic precedent of being judged by their looks rather than their abilities to anywhere near the same degree as women do. Just look as the beauty queen the GOP is running for vice president,

Finally you encourage the rest of the rabble to come out with even more ridiculous and offensive crap by setting a high level of ambient sexism.

Granny Granny 10:30 pm 15 Oct 08

Of course there is room for a bit of fun.

: )

Bungle Bungle 10:11 pm 15 Oct 08

Yeah, but I still think there is room for a bit of fun – and yes the MILF comments were a bit over the mark.

I don’t think anyone seriously votes on looks or even how pretty their website looks. We did have John Howard as PM after all.

Granny Granny 9:19 pm 15 Oct 08

I think the MILF post was wrong on many levels, but I wasn’t criticising the original post or the moderation.

But it does raise the issue, what of the Elephant Men and the Stephen Hawkings? Should they not be listened to with as much respect because they are not physically attractive? And can’t somebody’s smile, or gentleness, or tireless work for charity be just as attractive to us as a regularly spaced face?

And if these are truly our values as a society, should we not work towards building something better?

Bungle Bungle 9:06 pm 15 Oct 08

I think it was fairly balanced for both sides in the original post – there were crumpet awards for both. Some of the later comments may have been uncalled for, but generally I don’t think they’ve been too bad.

Whatsup Whatsup 9:05 pm 15 Oct 08

sepi: There was a discussion on nice butts in bike shorts not so long ago. I know I was talking about blokes.

sepi sepi 8:56 pm 15 Oct 08

Can’t we have the political incorrectness for both genders then?

Why always focus on women’s bodies and sexuality?

For mine it’s boring at best and offensive at its worst.

The unbalanced approach and general snickering just screams of a private boys school eduction.

Bungle Bungle 8:55 pm 15 Oct 08

Don’t answer any knocks at the door then – and don’t sit in front of the telly;)

Seriously though, I think johnboy and Riot Act deserve a big thanks for brightening up one of the most dreary and uninspiring election campaigns in history.

Granny Granny 8:13 pm 15 Oct 08

I’m not pressing any charges.

johnboy johnboy 8:06 pm 15 Oct 08

I thought I was just in the gap between conviction and sentencing already.

Bungle Bungle 8:04 pm 15 Oct 08

Be careful Johnboy. You’ll be accused of a thought crime and be sent for re-education.

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