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Candidates’ websites – October 2008

By johnboy - 15 October 2008 144

[First filed: October 13, 2008 @ 23:43]

Candidate websites are in decline.

Politicians seem to have realised that the web is hostile territory where people won’t always say what you want them to say. Much safer to stick to older school media where opinion can be safely bought and sold, to be ladled to the dwindling band of proles still receptive on their couches.

A minority of candidates, however, are still giving the interwebs a go.

I plugged the laptop into the tele and got my politically apathetic housemates to give their opinions of the various websites and, photography permitting, crumpet factor, of those who would rule over us for the next four long years.

For those unwilling to wade through the notes I can say it was an all Labor show.

Mary Porter has the best website by far. Adina Cirson (pictured) wins the crumpet factor, with Andrew Barr the only male to make the crumpet list (should have had a website Morgo).

Mike Hettinger also features with the ugliest website, possibly the ugliest website ever produced outside the educational sector.

Steve Doszpot

It has elegant design. And it’s well set out. But making text deliberately small is just silly.

A decent effort, but unremarkable.

Joy Burch

Unremarkable and dull, lacking in appeal. But she seems like a nice person.

Mick Gentleman

A housemate thinks he looks a little insane

As for the site the fonts are too busy and it looks like a blog. A plain blog.

John Hargreaves

When his picture came up the comment was “eahhh…”

But the site looks friendly, if a little empty.

Tracy Mackey

This page is super trendy with the centrepiece being a flash driven slideshow zapping gormless motherhood statements into your brain.

The problem is that periodically the same photo keeps flashing

It’s otherwise light on content.

Wayne Seivers

Wayne Sievers is a serious man, but perhaps the site could have benefitted from less photographs of him rather than more, because he’s no oil painting.

The use of hyper-emphasis which drops high level heading text into the middle of paragraphs was also not appreciated by the housemates who shrieked “STOP YELLING AT ME” at Wayne’s visage.

On the other hand he mentions RiotACT on the front page so he gets a plus mark.

The Motorists Party are too busy reminiscing about Pauline Hanson to do web pages. But we did have lots of giggles looking at their photos. William “Andrew” Simington always got a laugh when spirits were flagging.

Anyone want to speculate on why all the AMP candidates are men in white shirts? Hasn’t history shown us poor results when political movements wear uniforms?

The housemates wanted to know why they’re all so ugly?

Chris Bourke

The housemates quite liked the look of Chris Bourke saying he looks reasonable, with quite a pleasant face.

The website on the other hand is dull, sparse, with not much to it.

Adina Cirson

According to her website Adina is “one of us”

Which made us wonder what if God was one of us?

And is she trying to hide being an alien?

The site has far too many colours. They clash. And the whole thing is not pleasant to look at.

In a rare break with convention the candidate appears to be the child standing next to the grownups, and is not the focus of the pictures.

Mary Porter

This is a very pleasant, very well laid out website.

By far the best on offer for any candidate. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what ails a site but this one is rolled gold.

Roger Nicoll

An ugly and disinterested site with mixed fonts and motherhood statements heavy, everything else light.

Jacqui Myers

Like Adina, Jacqui claims to be “one of us” with all the slightly creepy overtones entailled.

While not making the crumpet list she was considered to have a reasonably pleasant face.

Nothing too exciting about the site but no complaints.

Andrea Tokaji

Andrea has a myspace page with all the ugliness that entails.

She also proves that scans of campaign literature don’t work on the web.

And she scored as crumpet.

Matthew Watts

Mismatched fonts, and bad proportions were balanced by a link to RiotACT on the front page.

Matt on his soapbox did not impress. Although he was accused of looking at one of the housemates “funny” one night in the Pot Belly. Make of that what you will.

Harold Hird


Egocentric and yet with nothing on it other than the colour green, buttons and a photo.

It says “Hello, and welcome to my web site,” welcome to 1995.

And how many fonts do you need? Three? Four different fonts?

Mark Parton

It’s generally considered to be one of the better sites, and it didn’t make anyone’s eyeballs hurt.

Adam Verwey

Adam was considered to be possible crumpet, but with insufficient detail in the photo no verdict could be reached.

The site design was considered harmless if slightly amateur.

Darren Churchill

Popups everwhere!!!!! Nowhere is safe to mouse!

We thought it had the same picture over and over but down the bottom there lurked a new one.

Andrew Barr

The only male crumpet in the pack the website also rated well with the layout especially pleasing.

Eleanor Bates

Housemates wanted to know why is her neck the same size as her head?

It’s dull, but well set out and she rated as Semi-crumpet

Simon Corbell

“Our city is under a tack!”

This site bugged me so much.

So very much effort has gone into annoying the user.

It changed the mouse cursor to something blue. “Give me back my mouse bitches!” shrieked the housemates.

And if you have sound turned on it makes a HORRID HORRID noise – like a coin on glass – when mousing over the menu buttons. Why go to that much effort to upset visitors?

The big red tack stabbing into Canberra was thought to be a positive, distracting from Simon’s zombie like visage,

After some debate zombies were prefered to giant tacks.

Katy Gallagher

Despite a staggeringly dorky “Welcome to my new website!” message Katy scored as crumpet.

The site also featured far too much red text. But was otherwise workmanlike.

Mike Hettinger

“OH MY GOD” we all screamed.

“MAKE IT GO AWAY” followed forthwith.

Then we all fell around laughing for some time.

The housemates decided that young Mike was crumpet in his USAF uniform. Current Mike less so.

Outside of the education sector it’s possibly the ugliest website ever made.

David Matthews

David’s eyebrows were thought to be on the scary side.

But on the plus we were able to find his page even though he shares a name with a rock star.

The website cunningly matches his grey suit and hair.

But it was thought he needs more information on the front page, and less begging.

Norvan Vogt

“welcome to my little part of Cyberspace” was not a winning message with the housemates.

Now was two shades of orange for communicating. And not much to communicate.

Elena Kirschbaum

Another Myspace page, and one of the more elegant ones out there.

Elena’s reputation of emo-hate had preceded her and the housemates were not pleased.

“I think the reason she hates emos is they’re so much more beautiful than her,” said one.

“It’s time to grow up and get a real website,” said another.

It also features leftover senate campaign information and puts her a year younger than her profile data suggests.

Belinda Barnier

“She looks like she’d be a nice mum,” was the verdict.

A good looking site at the top of the page, down the bottom it looks like her kids have been trying to help out.

Red buttons with bevelled edges and mismatched fonts urgh. Ticker blech.

But there’s some nice use of themes with imagery.

Jacqui Burke

“It is a pleasure to welcome you to my homepage,” is the opening piece of patronisation.

On the site there’s very little to indicate she’s a Liberal.

It makes nice use of simple points and benefits from a well thought out soft palette.

Definitely one of the better ones.

Jeremy Hanson

This site is a triumph of style over substance.

It plays up his Army links but features such comedy boxes as:

    “Upcoming Event
    No Upcoming Event”

It also starts an auto-load of video which is a great way to seriously annoy visitors.

Gary Kent

Grey text on white, with a grey background.

The site makes a point of flogging opportunities to help him, and fourteen mentions of the word “Gary”

Greg Tannahill

It’s a default template blogspot blog, hasn’t been updated since August.

It screams “I wish I’d never let them talk me into doing this”.

Apologies if I’ve missed anyone, but frankly if you can’t get your site into the first couple of pages of google results you’re just not trying very hard.

What’s Your opinion?

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144 Responses to
Candidates’ websites – October 2008
Gungahlin Al 11:15 am 15 Oct 08

“What an anathema!!”

Had one of those once. Couldn’t walk straight for hours…

Granny 11:01 am 15 Oct 08


Yeah, and who wants a man who gives orders? What an anathema!!

deezagood 10:45 am 15 Oct 08

‘Meticulous planning …. analytical ability’ – total passion killers. I’m off him now – Granny, politikos, he’s all yours. And by the way Granny – you don’t fool me, other posters have alluded to the fact that you are most ungrandma-like! And keeping in the same crass tone introduced by the undoubtedly toad-like BarryF (I can think of a few good terms for that ‘F’) I think we should introduce the term GILF in celebration of hot Grandmas everywhere(if it doesn’t already exist).

politikos 10:36 am 15 Oct 08

deezagood said :

Don’t be ashamed Granny – I’m sure Jeremy has a brain behind that pretty face.

According to the Canberra Times, Jeremy got a Gold Commendation for being “regularly exposed to danger” and his “meticulous planning, analytical ability, foresight and professional excellence”. Brave and clever… hmmm… I could take orders from a man like that! Lucky Mrs Hanson!

Granny 10:23 am 15 Oct 08

Gee, thanks Mrshmellowman. I have no idea what might be causing your low personality issues. If 8 hours is lack of sleep, then bring it on ….

Mrshmellowman 10:09 am 15 Oct 08

Thanks very much Eddie
Now I will never get that freaking song out of my head!!

I looks like you posted at 2am and then again at 10am this morning. Your lack of sleep might have something to do with your low self esteem issues.

Steady Eddie 10:02 am 15 Oct 08

There’s bit a bit of discussion about Adina Cirson’s slogan “One of Us” and a few references which might be lost on some Rioters. I’ve chased up these references on the Net and they refer to a song released in 1995 by Joan Osbourne. Here are the full lyrics:

One of Us

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He’s trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

Granny 10:00 am 15 Oct 08


It’s no good, deezagood!

I will just fade and pine away like the shallow venomous harridan with no sex appeal that I am. How can Jeremy even look at me, when I am spurned by somebody as odious and probably toadlike as BarryF?

Frankly, I just don’t have that kind of budget for reconstruction.


Oh, curse this star-crossed and ill-fated love! Come sweet dagger and remove this suffering from my sobbing, heaving breast! Nay, blot even the day I was born from the face of this dark and evil sorrow.


Woe. All is woe. Turgid, turgid woe. Deep and turgid woeful woe.

Oh, cruel fate! Curse you … you venomous harridan!

*shakes fist*

No, I will just fade and pine. Fade and pine. Fade ….

deezagood 9:24 am 15 Oct 08

Don’t be ashamed Granny – I’m sure Jeremy has a brain behind that pretty face. And I’m sorry below_average_Joe but young Mr Coe is just a bit too wholesome looking (and young) for my more mature tastes.

Skidbladnir 8:55 am 15 Oct 08

MILF, you say…

Granny 2:23 am 15 Oct 08

BarryF said :

I don’t do Grannies

I am wounded … wounded, I tell you!


Your MILF is my age, but I hope you’ll have a very special time.

; )

Have fun now!

BarryF 1:40 am 15 Oct 08

Belinda Barnier – “She looks like she’d be a nice mum,” was the verdict.

I’ll take that one step further johnboy, I’d vote her the number 1 MILF.

Other MILF’s –
Katy – Whinger – I couldn’t listen to it, nothing would be “perfict”
Giulia – Not even with yours
Jacqui Burke – I don’t do Grannies
Joy Birch – Please
Jacqui Meyers – Absolutely – comes second on the Liberal Ticket
Audrey Rae – Nice
Tracey Mackie – See Katy
Meredith Hunter – Yeah probably
Caroline Le Couteur – Don’t think so

ant 11:46 pm 14 Oct 08

Norvan.Vogt said :

*sob* my site didn’t get a mention

Put “Vogt for a DRAGWAY” all over it, that’ll do the trick. Pauline Hanson might even visit.

johnboy 11:28 pm 14 Oct 08

Oh you’re there buddy:

    Norvan Vogt

    “welcome to my little part of Cyberspace” was not a winning message with the housemates.

    Now was two shades of orange for communicating. And not much to communicate.

Granny 11:13 pm 14 Oct 08

There, there. I’m sure it is very nice.


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