23 July 2008

Daramalan leaps into the sex abuse ring

| johnboy
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Not content with letting Marist get all the attention, the Canberra Times reports that Daramalan is stepping up its own sex abuse scandal.

    Five fresh compensation claims against the school have been lodged in the ACT Supreme Court in the past week on behalf of former students whom Lyons sexually abused in the late 1980s and 1990s.

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dazednconfused16:06 pm 03 Aug 08

I agree with Mr Evil the money thing is a bit of a cop out. And people do not stop coming forward because of comments like that. I mean no offence to any victims of Lyons or Chute, but we have to be honest here, financial compensation is a big furphy. I am just not convinced we can be sure about who, and how many people Paul interfered with. Having said that, I would just love to see Daramalan get sunk by this–same for Marist with Kostka Chute.

You see Paul screwed a lot of people figuratively and literally. Paul did not sexually abuse me but he certainly mindf*cked and manipulated me. That is not a benign action. I know what it is like to be sexually abused, but because it was not a school teacher, well, I can never get a cent. For some points of view it just looks like this:

“If he touched my pecker I stand to gain x amount of dollars, pay off the house, buy a new car, inground pool.
If he did not, then, nothing. Just feel done over”

Sorry about my cynicism. If you were abused by Paul go for it, sink those barstard Catholics I am with you all the way. If you were not, have a go anyway it will make no difference, no one will know any better, you can pay for the house down at Broulee you could not afford and the newspapers will have more stuff to write about.

Canberra Gardener5:19 pm 25 Jul 08

…and no disrepect intended…..

CG you can’t just go plagiarising a whole article here to make a point.

Provide a link, quote selectively, sure.

A little more respect for this forum and its other members wouldn’t go astray from you blokes.

Canberra Gardener5:08 pm 25 Jul 08

ABC Online

Schools urged to act on Pope’s apology

[EDITED]

Mick1965 said :

I am not a churchie person, but I did turn to the big guy after ainslie village – and it did give me some comfort.

I’m glad you got some comfort from the church – after what happened to me I ran away from the church screaming.

I have tried at times to get over that but it never works out.

sorry mick1965 – I prayed a lot, but didn’t go to church.

My family have always been registry office religious…

We go to church for births, deaths and marriages…

and I am of the anglican faith, not the catholic. No private schools for me, my parents wanted me at co-ed day 1.

I am not a churchie person, but I did turn to the big guy after ainslie village – and it did give me some comfort.

I’m glad you got some comfort from the church – after what happened to me I ran away from the church screaming.

I have tried at times to get over that but it never works out.

Mick1965, Berraboy68, Canberra Gardner. Thanks gents. It is cathartic to have you being courageous enough to share, defend and stay present in this forum.

imhotep – thanks for providing a catalyst that elicits such great posts from others. You’ve no doubt really helped the arguments get clarified, the positions solidified and sentiment riled up enough to motivate others to get involved with the lobby group – and to stay active on this forum. Good work! 😉

Fingers.

Sheesh!

Overheard said :

I have nothing bit sorrow for the victims…

And now, using all ten finges on the keyboard:

I have nothing *but* sorrow for the victims…

Bloody Nora! That’s aimed in desparation to the heavens, not at anyone. I’ve just been catching up with all of the above, and for the first time, going back over some of the news reports. Terrible, horrible stuff.

Having spent seven years at Dara, I’m happy and lucky to say that all of the unspeakable acts I’ve been reading about are totally outside of my experience and indeed I never heard about any of it at the time either.

I have nothing bit sorrow for the victims (Dara and elsewhere) and pride for what they’ve been able to rise above. It’s all so outside my experience, I don’t know what to say except to echo the words of a favourite song: ‘We can offer tea and sympathy/But can’t know how it feels’.

I have one fear in this as an observer and that is that while terrible things happened and any duplicity or negligence at any level is atrocious and needs to be challenged and brought to account, I mourn for the people working in these places who were/are not involved and are doing great things and go above and beyond the call, but get smeared by association.

Regrettable, but sadly unavoidable, I guess.

Mick, I think I know who you are. It was the reference to your tertiary study that rang the bell.

Thumper: Class of 1981. From memory there was something of a cleaning out of students at the top level that year after the infamous Leadership retreat, or should that be the ‘Leaf-ership’ retreat.

My wife is also very understanding, she has helped me through some of my dark days, and gave me 3 of the most precious, beautiful children on this planet. she does criticize me for being over protective, but I will never let anyone do to my children, what has happened to me.

(dr armellin helped, with IVF, first my daughter, then my twin boys – which is why I am so anti the lesbians who are suing him))

Mick1965 said :

peterh,

You have had a bad run mate!

Contrary to what anyone else says, please feel free to pour it out here at Riot ACT (well, until the mods kick us out anyway!).

Hope you are healing mate and I hopoe you get some closure with your attackers.

Do you know who the guy was at Ainslie Village?

never knew his name, he went by the name of “spider” at the village – should have seen that one, shouldn’t I?

the guy in nt, he topped himself after it was revealed who he had been doing this to over the years, several of my mates were in the same boat as me, so we still keep in contact when one of us is a bit down. a bit of a private network. I am not a churchie person, but I did turn to the big guy after ainslie village – and it did give me some comfort.

peterh,

You have had a bad run mate!

Contrary to what anyone else says, please feel free to pour it out here at Riot ACT (well, until the mods kick us out anyway!).

Hope you are healing mate and I hopoe you get some closure with your attackers.

Do you know who the guy was at Ainslie Village?

Peterh – mate, thanks for sharing that. And you’re right abuse can happen anywhere, anytime by anyone. I take teh same appraoch with my kids even though one is in kindy and one in pre-school.

You seem to have coped well considering what happened but if you want to talk privately contact me at timeforhealingACT@gmail.com

the worst of all of these posts about the treatment of kids by figures of authority is that there are many sad stories out there, Teachers aren’t the only one who do this kind of thing, it can be perpetrated by a family friend, with both boys and girls, or a parent of a child’s friend. I had this happen to me, twice.

in the NT, a mate’s father took me and him to collect firewood. my mate was a bit tired (never really thought why until now) and laid down for a sleep in the back of the car. His father molested me. I was confused, and even though I was told he would kill me, I told my mother. She didn’t believe me, and didn’t until only quite recently, when he was caught molesting one of his grandchildren.

the second time was in ainslie village. I was moved there into emergency accomodation, and as a lad of 19, was a bit on the thin side. (not eating for a month will do that to you)

The guy who raped me, no other word for it, had taken the trouble to become my friend. He was a predator. I was left, bleeding, in the shower block. Found by one of the workers who could not believe that the guy i claimed had done it would have.

I managed to get out of that hell hole and improved myself.

My kids are only little, but when we take them to the doctor, they are told, and it will sink in, if anyone touches you where the doctor is touching you now, you must tell mummy or daddy right away. If I catch someone doing this kind of thing to my kids, well, we will see what happens…..

I was an active leader in the YMCA, and assisted with youth insearch with troubled teens, runaways etc. I wanted to ensure that they were shielded from the hell I had experienced.

it is a hard thing to discuss. the betrayal that i suffered through my parents is very painful. I don’t deny them access to my kids, but they seem indifferent to forming relationships as grandparents.

perhaps they have trouble protecting any kids…

Canberra Gardener5:22 pm 24 Jul 08

imhotep – the abuse I am referring to is the abuse dished out by the church, the insurance company and the schools, by refusing to acknowledge responsibility and covering up the details as they covered up the abuse.

All they have to do is spill the truth that all the victims know is the truth……and we can all move on…..abuse isn’t just raping someone…….the schools are participating in bullying it’s victims…..by denying responsibility and the victims day in court.

I didn’t illustrate any point your making…….we aren’t even on the same planet. Keep thinking what your thinking……whatever helps you sleep at night. The schools are damaging their own reputation, not us…….and as it was reported in the press the lawyers are starting to sue individuals….. principles, teachers……etc.

The fact remains……for 20-30 years 100’s of little boys were repeatedly abused and raped at two schools in Canberra, the schools knew about it and chose to do nothing. Full stop.

Now we are all grown up…….and big enough to ensure that the truth comes out…

….and if I was one of those people that covered it up, did nothing, ignored the abuse, when I should have done everything to lock these dirty filthy child rapists up……..

….I too would be worried, real worried.

The truth will come out……eventually….it will come out……..

KARMA is on it’s way…….yeee ha. Giddy-up

This is the first I have heard of this letter and may I say SHAME!

The “funny” thing is it’s the same sort of letter they would have written “in the day” and it really brings home to me that nothing seems to have changed.

I am certainly not grateful for their presence in Canberra and if I had 3 wishes the first would surely be that they never came to Canberra. And am I alone in thinking they are saying it’s a fair trade – the presence of these wonderful brothers for a few torn sphinctas? Nice trade off!

Thanks for sharing Berra. I’m very angry now.

Marist – bloody unforgivable. Get over yourselves.

The school simply has to remember “”the truth will set you free”. It also has to stop trying to win a supposed PR battle (there isn’t one) by writing letters to the Canberra Times containing sweeping statements such as:

“There can be no doubt that the abuse of students is wrong and the impact
of those actions is tragic and long lasting. However…. The Brothers at Marist College live a life of consecration and demonstration of their faith: To Christ through Mary. The great good that these men have achieved over many years needs to be acknowledged and for their presence in Canberra, we are sincerely grateful.”

This was part of a letter written by the school board to the Canberra Times. It wasn’t published. It was however circulated throughout the Marist community and I know for a fact it has been responsible for the victims support/Lobby group ‘Time for Healing ACT’ receiving new members. Basically, the condescending tone of the letter and the fact it tried to push the abuse issue into the background turned a few ambivalent people against the school. I also understand that those in the Marist community who wrote back to the Marist Headmaster expressing their anger over the letter are still awaiting a response.

imhotep

I disagree.

I certainly understand you don’t like seeing these posts here, but you won’t say anything to persuade me to stop posting.

This public forum in this small city is helping to bring out some of the disgraceful acts that went on at Marist and Darra and it has helped to bring others forward to report 4 other teachers at Marist who have abused children.

It’s also given me strength to know that I am not the only victim out there. You might want to begrudge myself and others of this but it is very important to me and I suspect it helps others, that after all this time we can now “TALK” and be “HEARD”.

Read the posts from other victims here – they are all positive and they all encourage other victims to keep talking and come forward. This is critical. Kostka’s list is in the 100s and there are many, many more out there.

I know it makes people at Marist feel uncomfortable and they wish we would all shut up and go away, but you can trust me we won’t. This needs to be and stay in the headlines for as long as possible or it will again be swept under the carpet.

If we take your advice and shut up, nobody else will come forward.

And what are these “sweeping allegations” you speak of? Thousands of people will support what I have said here and Kostka has admitted his crimes so these are simply NOT allegations.

Thanks for your concern imhotep but I strongly disagree. I also hated reading your intro and (paranoia?) feel it’s a general “don’t believe these guys” that’s terribly inappropriate, so let me tell you another story….

While I was SRC President at Signadou, a fellow student approached me to complain that she was propositioned by one of the lecturers. She wanted me to talk to him about it and I did. He swore black and blue he did not proposition he and she continued to say he did. She was going to fail and get kicked out in the last year of her course so she did tend to gain a lot if the fail mark was overturned.

I chose not to take the matter any further. She had spoken to the police who said it was a civil matter, ans spoken to the sisters at Signadou and I was her last hope.

I did get the lecturer to agree to pass her in their mutual interest and everything went back to normal.

I saw the lecturer a few years later. He was thrown out of the school for doing the same thing to about 10 more students.

This is my point to you imhotep. You are obviously NOT a victim and why you persist in trying to shut up the victims in this forum is beyond me. The fact that you are not a victim does not mean you should try to stop people from having their say here. I suggest to you that all forums are appropriate to speak out against child molesters. We probably will just have to sgree to disagree.

Tyler, no, I’m not ‘close’ to either school, nor am I a teacher, thanks for your interest.

Canberra Gardener: You’ve just illustrated my point with your claim:

“trying to cover up….what is still, happening…”.

Are you saying the abuse at Marist/Dara is still happening? If so, on what evidence? If not, what abuse are you referring to?

This is exactly the kind of sweeping statement I was referring to in my comment.

tylersmayhem3:38 pm 24 Jul 08

Right on the mark Canberra Gardener!

imhotep – I get the distinct feeling that you are closely involved with Marist and/or Dara. Would this be the case? You always place so much support to these schools and the abuse that has been proven as happening in the clergy. You almost deney any guilt on their behalf.

Canberra Gardener3:34 pm 24 Jul 08

imhotep – and if the schools would speak the truth, stop trying to decieve and coverup what happened, and what is still happening, rumour and accusations would have not place nor value.

Let me tell you a story. I was brought up in a small Queensland town. Whilst I was in my twenties the town was gripped by a huge scandal when a local teenager accused another teenager of sexually assaulting him after a night out at the local pub.

I didn’t really know the victim, who was new in town, but vaguely knew the alleged perpetrator, who came from a old local family. He was just a normal kid as far as I knew.

The case never went to court. But, as you can imagine in outback Queensland, the ‘perpetrator’ was ostracized, to put it mildly.

However, in the years that followed, it became obvious that the ‘victim’ was quite a disturbed individual, making wild accusations about other assaults and people stealing things from him etc. His last stunt before I left involved getting beaten up in a pub fight and taken to the cop shop to sleep it off. In the morning he accused the local copper of inflicting the injuries everyone had seen him get in the pub fight.

And the alleged ‘perpetrator’ of the original assault? Dropped out of uni, never returned to town, last heard of driving a grader in West Woop Woop. Family devastated. I doubt he ever did a thing to his accuser, but the local ‘mob’ decided otherwise.

This is my point to you Mick. You are obviously a victim, and I hope that you get the compensation that you want and the help that you need. However, the fact that you are a victim does not mean that you and others can make all kinds of serious and sweeping allegations about others without comment from anyone else. I’m sure you have legal help, and I suggest to you that the courts are the place to make accusations, not a public forum in a small city.

tylersmayhem1:57 pm 24 Jul 08

I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to expect a child to say “no”. Otherwise this abuse wouldn’t be so wide-spread…surely. Unfortunately in most ways, kids seem to be growing up and maturing way faster than when I was young. The beauty of being able to be ignorant and naive has been beaten out of kids these days, due to the actions of a minority of sick people. I guess one positive of this is maybe (hopefully) this maturity might protect some that would have been victims otherwise.

Thanks tylersmayhem

It’s very difficult to describe how I feel at the moment. Like it’s pouring out…everything that was supressed for so long.

I can’t stand some of these posts I am reading and it’s about time a few of the people writing them think long and hard about the obvious damage that’s been done. There’s no doubt money won’t cure this but it could help me to stop working in a job I hate (or even take some leave), that’s contributing to my anxiety, and get the help I need. Right now thing are going from bad to worse and my entire life is in chaos.

And it’s fairly clear that all victims are unlikely to have earned what they might have if they were not abused so I think some financial compensation is fair and could actually really help the healing process.

Anyone who knows me and is reading this will be saying “this explains a lot”. And it does. I am a completely different person now because of what happened to me at an impressionable age, done by someone we should all be permitted to assume would never do such a thing.

Kostka threatened me that if I didn’t do what he wanted, he would cause trouble for me. He also threatened the same if I ever told anyone. He even laughed and said something to the effect of “as if they would believe you anyway”. This left me thinking I was gay for a few years, totally unable to show affection for years, emotionally immature and the list goes on. And I had nobody to talk to for almost 30 years. I’d meet good mates who went to Marist and they’d say things like “don’t tell me Kostka ever did any of that stuff” and I’d have to play along. Thanks god he admitted it or I would still be in denial!

I get the impression some smart arses here are implying I could have said “no”, but let me assure you it is not that black and white. Kostka was a master manipulator.

But I can’t blame them as I get the same guilty feelings myself like it’s all my fault – I should have said “no”.

tylersmayhem1:09 pm 24 Jul 08

Thanks for your last incredible and open insight Mick. You are a champion and inspiration for getting where you are today. I hope all of you guys who were so terribly treated find calm and closure one day…if it is ever possible.

On the topic of compensation, I have this to say:

In Primary School (St Thomas Moore’s the St John Vianney’s) I was considered by many to be a child genius. I was miles ahead in language, maths and music and nobody understood how I learned…I just did and I blitzed everyone.

I moved to Marist in Year 4 where I was exposed to the madness of Miss Nunn (an ex-nunn) who would make us (as punishment for putting our hands in our pockets) take off our pants in fromt of the classroom, turn them inside out and put them back on, then stand in a garbage bin for a whole day at times.

I had a good Year 5.

In Year 6 I was beaten by Brother Jerome who actually broke my fingers a few times. Regardless, I maintained a standard sufficient to receive an Excellence in Study Award at the end of the year.

When I hit year 7, it all changed. I started being called into Kostka’s office regularly, where he abused me. I was vulnerable, and lonely at the time. This was the turning point of my life. This was the difference between a confident, well adjusted leader with a genius IQ and a pathetic bastard who turned to drugs and alcohol to forget and supress. My grades went from straight A+ to straight Fs. I became self abusive and angry, not trusting anyone (and this developed, at times, into full blown paranoia).

I left Marist in year 8 and went to AME School where I was told I needed a “challenge” and teachers who really wanted me to learn gave me that challenge. I completed my Year 12 certificate requirements by the end of year 9.

I took samples of my work to Darra and I was accepted into Year 11 in 1981, without having done a day of year 10 (ie I skipped a year of schooling).

Of course I had really done all the work before at Darra so I could afford to be stoned and/or pissed for that two years, and still get a pretty good ASAT….but nothing like I could have had! I struggled with authority and the clergy at Darra and never connected why – but it’s clear now I was still badly damaged by Kostka (not just him but the others who stood by and allowed it to happen). At Darra I still showed some leadership and was Captain of the 3rd 15 Rugby team.

I went on to Signadou – my inspiration was to be the super-guardian of all kids and assure nobody ever had to suffer injustice. I did manage to maintain good results academically, and I went on to be SRC President in my final year. I had such a problem with authority that I went ahead and had the Nunn who was chief administrator at Signadou replaced, knowing full well she would see to it I would never teach as a consequence of this. She gave me an additional going away persent too! The trearurer had resigned at half term and left me with the cheque book. Of course I wrote quite a few liberal cheques (strippers for a 21st, cases of booze etc) and of course the good sisters had me charged with imbezzlement.

I ruined a perfectly good relationship with my soulmate – who I left so devastated that she hasn’t spoken to me for 20 years. She was pregnant with my first child whom she never allowed me to meet.

I spent the following 10 years trying to kill myself with drugs and booze.

Sure, there were other factors, but I believe I would have had a far better life if Kostka had not molested me in Year 7.

The contrast between me before this happened, and after this happened is phenomenal and if I do manage to get financial compensation then it will only be the difference between what I could have been and what that monster turned me into.

Right now I am still a walking irony. I am a GAA (class of 01) who is still struggling in the public service at the lower end of the scale and the two reasons I am struggling are:

(1) authority issues;
(2) paranoia.

Why the hell wouldn’t I be entitled to some financial compensation? Hopefully just enough to get a good shrink and not have the additional stress of all this going on and having to turn up to work every day.

And yes – Berraboy DOES speak on my behalf, and as far as I know he speaks on behalf of most victims of Kostka and Lyons.

tylersmayhem9:05 am 24 Jul 08

I’ve got to say great comments to Huntter and Berryboy68 as well! Very well said.

I am in a fortunate position where I attended Marist from year 4 to 12, and I suffered no sexual abuse at the hands of the teaching staff – so I cannot make the following comments from experience.

On the topic of compensation, I believe that all victims should be entitled to compensation, and I think too many narrow-minded people hear the word “compensation” and immediately think big cash pay-outs etc etc. Compensation can come in so many forms, and I think those people who jump to these conclusions are lucky to not know what it feels like after years of not being able to hold down a job (loss of income), the cost of mental rehabilitation (huge costs, much of which is not covered by private) etc. Consider that for an appointment with an experienced psychologist is at least $170 per hour. I can’t imagine how many hours of sessions it would take to start healing the scars, but I imagine countless.

While money will not fix what happened in the past, it would surely help with trying to get victims treated and supported.

Canberra Gardener7:44 am 24 Jul 08

Daramalan ‘failed to act’ on paedophile for a decade
Link to Canberra Times article yesterday

http://www.canberratimes.com.au/news/local/news/general/daramalan-failed-to-act-on-paedophile-for-a-decade/1174409.aspx

“Concerned parents and teachers at Daramalan College complained about paedophile Paul Lyons’s inappropriate relationship with boys as early as 1988, but the school failed to act for more than a decade, new civil claims allege.

Five fresh compensation claims against the school have been lodged in the ACT Supreme Court in the past week on behalf of former students whom Lyons sexually abused in the late 1980s and 1990s.”

Canberra Gardener9:32 pm 23 Jul 08

My hat off to Huntter and Berryboy68. Well said to both of you.

And for the record, Berryboy actually does speak for the majority of us….victims….through ‘Time for Healing ACT’. He gives us a voice we don’t normally have. And for someone that is caring enough to give people the opportunity to be heard….GOOD BLOODY ON HIM………!

Most victims want their pain recognised as being real…..they want it to stop……and they want their lives to get back to NORMAL…..whatever that would actually be.

The Catholic Church has abused the victims of their abuse for years through claiming to be above the law. imhotep…..jail is good and well, but as a victim of Paul Lyons it is hard to jail a dead guy. Besides, most victims were abused by the paedophile, then by the institution (through coverups, denyals, inaction) then by the church (through much of the same).

So I am sorry if all those people in Canberra are upset by this, but most of them are worried for their own skin, there are lots (and I mean lots) of ex teachers, principles, clergy an parents that are as worried as all hell that their own reputations will be sullied because of their own inaction. Lets be clear, that is not the intention, the victims don’t want to destroy the school or it’s people of the past.

WE JUST WANT THE TRUTH……….so it doesn’t happen to our kids.

Surely people would bring in the police these days?

There was another article on Paul Lyons today, and it said that a science tech saw him kissing a boy’s stomach and massaging another one’s naked backside in a science room. They told the principal, but nothing happened. Surely now they’d just tell the police?

The Huntter – well said.

In short, for me, yes. I am concerned that people would only think I want money. I don’t. I’ve got money. Enough to pay for years of counselling and other mental illness related issues which my private health fund won’t pay for; issues which are directly attributable to the actions of a priest. But you know what? Lots and lots and lots of people don’t. They don’t have the money to pay for the services of people who can help them. They don’t have the money to pay the fees for lawyers to bring them justice.

However, “compensation” doesn’t always mean $$$.

It means making amends, an apology, redress and restoration just to name a few straight out of the Macquarie thesaurus.

Restoring our self-esteem in ourselves, restoring our faith – if that is possible and/or desired, redressing the imbalance of power they had and which we should never have had taken away. It is being given the chance to confront them, and stand up for yourself in a way that you could not have done as a child.

I can’t speak for anyone but myself and I rarely jump in and comment though I have been a keen observer of all these threads for a while. But until it IS YOU, don’t make assumptions about what you think I should want.

You’re right; money won’t fix your life, but you know, jailing these guys won’t either in some cases. The damage has been done and in some cases it is irreparable regardless of the outcome of court battles. But sometimes you still need to fight the battle because, if you don’t, you could spend a large chunk of your life wondering if you should have tried.

imhotep said :

… there seems to be a something of a witch hunt against catholic clergy going on here and in other places, with names and accusations flung about freely, with no presumption of innocence.

The vast majority of priests I have known (I’m an atheist btw) are good decent people, and I believe Marist, whatever its faults years ago, is an excellent school.

From my viewpoint, and I know a few of those involved, there is no witch-hunt going on just an exposing of wounds that won’t heal until the truth is known. Almost all teachers at Marist in my experience were excellent and even those Headmaster’s who ‘alledgedly’ failed to act on parents concerned were, in all other respects, great and well respected people. Does that mean they can’t now say they made a mistake years ago that hurt some people? I’m also yet to meet a priest, minister, rabbi etc. of any religion I wouldn’t be happy to have around my house for dinner. And yes, Marist was a great school although personally, the only thing I really got out of it was very good mates. That said, the school won’t be able to claim excellence again until the facts of what happened in the 70’s through 90’s are laid bare (note ‘facts’, not innuendo or rumour). I feel very sad about what’s happening and I feel very, very sorry for the majority of teachers past and present. I know for a fact at least some of them are hurting very badly over what’s happening. That said, why should guys who are now adults have to live with a shame that was never theirs in the first place. The first lesson from all this is when someone (kid, parent or teacher) makes a complaint of sexual abuse at a school, the cops must be brought in immediately. Leaving these things to fester for years does nobody any good.

BerraBoy68 said :

It’s comments like that that stop victims feeling comfortable about coming forward.

What, are you saying victims don’t want to come forward because they feel that people will think they only want money?

What is it they want? Do you speak for them? It’s you lot who keep calling for ‘compensation’. If it was me, I’d just want the guy jailed. Money won’t fix your life.
.

Mr Evil said :

Yep, queue up for compensation: money will solve all your problems.

It’s comments like that that stop victims feeling comfortable about coming forward.

Ever think some of the victims couldn’t give a stuff about money, just the truth? Imaging being sexually abused (touched or raped) by someone you’re supposed to trust particularly when your at your weakest (like when someone in your family has just died). You then try to tell someone (anyone) what happened and are ignored because your only a kid complaining about someone of religious disposition. Worse still trying to get the church to explain what happened only to have them ignore you because ‘men of the cloth are infallible and don’t do that sort of thing’. If you survive that little lot you might still be sane enough to stick with your eduction, get a job find someone very understanding to share you life with. If not, you end up in the street unable to work or hold down a relationship because you can’t trust anyone. All because some teacher was to f****d in the head to find someone his own age to screw.

Keep thinking its about money if you want but if I was one of the victims I’d want my life back.

I’m not so sure that sexual abuse correlates all that well with same sex schools, nor even that catholic clergy are more inclined to abuse than other people with power over children. The majority of abuse in fact occurs between family members…

I attended a regional Catholic boarding school in the early 70s, and was not abused (although it was a very tough place.) Ironically, the only time I was ‘assaulted’ was when I attended another (co-ed) school for a year. Luckily I was old enough to tell the guy, (who was married and the school’s doctor), to p*ss off, and the incident has never worried me.

My point is that there seems to be a something of a witch hunt against catholic clergy going on here and in other places, with names and accusations flung about freely, with no presumption of innocence.

The vast majority of priests I have known (I’m an atheist btw) are good decent people, and I believe Marist, whatever its faults years ago, is an excellent school.

Independently. I led things off and roped two or three others in to help out. On reflection, we could have tracked more people by giving a flyer to front office and saying ‘Please send this out to the last known address of every student’ and picked up the bits and pieces that made it through. As it was, the Internet, schoolfriends.com.au, and people who knew people who knew people gave us a pretty fair turnout.

I basically put all the names from the yearbook in a spreadsheet and just started hacking away. Plus notices in the CTimes, SMH, Catholic Weekly. One person I could not find for the life of me no matter through what means, and then one day she flicked me an email. She’d seen me in the foyer of the place where I work: she is (or was) an executive here — same surname — right under my nose!

Unfortuntately there was a big 40th on that weekend interstate for someone well-known to lots of the people in our year, so that robbed us of a few starters.

Just after the event, the school revamped their web-site for the alumni and started getting all proactive about contacting people. Even had someone on-staff dedicated to the task. I was on there for a while but I changed email addresses and never heard from them again.

I heard your year wasn’t doing anything; I used to work with a guy who was universally known by a nickname that ryhmes with ‘Pock’ from your year. If anyone else does want to run one later in the piece (a 30th?!) I’m happy to pass on tips.

Gotcha.

Yeah, they refuse to do a reunion for the Class of 82 due to lack of interest.

Most of my friends at the time were Class of 83 too. Did you do it through Dara or independently? Anyone difficult to find?

Mick1965 said :

No worries overhead. You were in the year below me by the way (well, if the John who was school Captain was John Larkh….).

I still haven’t worked out who you are….hmmm…..

That would be it. He was living in Europe with his family last time I spoke with him, which is about the time I organised the ‘Class of 1983’ bash in 2004. (21st year of Dara celebrating being out of school for 21 years. Or to put it another way, noone could get the digit out to organise the traditional 20 year bash!)

I don’t try to disguise my identity too hard here due to the publicity stuff that I do. Start with an ‘invoice’, then sing a couple of choruses of Dylan’s ‘[surname] the Eskimo’ and you’re there.

Darra is co-ed now.

And yes, all my kids will only go to co-ed schools.

No worries overhead. You were in the year below me by the way (well, if the John who was school Captain was John Larkh….).

I still haven’t worked out who you are….hmmm…..

Yeah when I was there from year 5 to 12 it was only co-ed in years 11 and 12

Mick1965 said :

Overheard – it’s a true story and I was there so I have no issues with saying it.

To me he was outrageous, and eccentric and obviously a clever man and he never tried anything on me. I cannot say what he did or did not do to others.

Cheers for your concern.

Cool, Mick. Just thought I’d switch the hazard lights on ever-so briefly.

tylersmayhem said :

Shauno: you’ve pointed out something I’ve harped on about on here on more than on occasion. I went to Marist, and after going through the experience, when the time comes that I have kids, I’ll be sending them to co-ed without a doubt. At the risk of sounding like a nob – I think it’s more “natural” for boys and girls to spend time together growing up. They have so much to learn from each other emotionally and socially…

Amen to that. After being predominantly in single sex classes from Years 5 to 10 myself, both my kids are now coed all the way in public schools. So far, mostly good to very good to excellent.

Overheard – it’s a true story and I was there so I have no issues with saying it.

To me he was outrageous, and eccentric and obviously a clever man and he never tried anything on me. I cannot say what he did or did not do to others.

Cheers for your concern.

tylersmayhem3:32 pm 23 Jul 08

I would say the fact these places were single sex schools may have had a big part to play in the abuse perpetrated by some of these people

Shauno: you’ve pointed out something I’ve harped on about on here on more than on occasion. I went to Marist, and after going through the experience, when the time comes that I have kids, I’ll be sending them to co-ed without a doubt. At the risk of sounding like a nob – I think it’s more “natural” for boys and girls to spend time together growing up. They have so much to learn from each other emotionally and socially, and somehow I believe that less of a “grooming” environment is likely to happen.

I went to Dara and can say while never sexually abused was beaten with straps rulers cricket bats and canes. But that’s besides the point I would say the fact these places were single sex schools may have had a big part to play in the abuse perpetrated by some of these people.

Eric North was an exceptional French teacher (the language, mes enfants, the language). I took his class for a year, maybe two. One of life’s true eccentrics — never a dull minute. There were some interesting stories about him (some of which he offered to recount himself during class). I never participated in anything extra-curricular.

Mick, I’d be careful about that sort of disclosure above. It’s your call, but I’d be very wary of putting one’s name to it, especially in the current climate of new allegations coming out about an old case, albeit those of another teacher. I’m no legal expert, but it just made me feel uneasy reading it. Actually, it’s your call and the Mod Squad.

Last I heard of Eric, he’d quit the teaching game and had gone to tend the terminally ill in Adelaide, but that was a loooong time ago.

Mick1965 said :

What do you suggest then Evil?

Col Mustard with the lead pipe across the forehead in the school carpark at 3.15pm: works every time!

Class of 95

No Lyons classes for me.

Me neither but I did visit Eric North’s house where he gave me and some mates a beer, a joint and a porno movie. He said we should come back whenever and OK if we were alone!

I also worked at Fantasy Lane where I met up with a few Darra teachers….

Thumper – did you get screwed in the butt there? More importantly – did you give consent?

What do you suggest then Evil?

Yep, queue up for compensation: money will solve all your problems.

Corker of a thread title ?

We did have the National Museum of Sex and Erotica at Club X for a while, but calling us the capital of the world when we’d be up against places like Bangkok seems a bit harsh.

And Marist Pearce as the “feeder” school…..

Bundah_Bloke11:01 am 23 Jul 08

If this keeps up Canberra will be known as the Pedophile Teacher capital of the world.

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