18 March 2009

Dark day at ANU - disappears up own rectum

| johnboy
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The world has a new contender for most incomprehensible and jargon laden sentence ever published:

    Work continues on the proposal to reconceptualise the Institute of Advanced Studies (IAS)

One would think the rest of the article might shed more light, but one would be sorely disappointed:

    Pro Vice-Chancellor (Research) Professor Mandy Thomas is heading a working party to oversee the development of the ‘New IAS’ and welcomes input from all staff into the development process. Further information on the proposal can be found at http://quicklink.anu.edu.au/ytl7 [unavailable to the public] and comments can be emailed to ias@anu.edu.au.

Bravo!

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maybe it is integrating the vertical commitments to align with the horizontal cross-cutting thematics of a university which is assimilating the ecology of its redevelopment with the nascent potentiality in harmonisation of existing resources. so, we’ll pocket that will we and extemporise on the imperatives of funding for the moment, shall we?

I’d be interested to hear from anyone inside ANU who can throw more light on what direction people are suggesting. Is there talk of making the IAS more about visiting scholars, or independent research, or fundamental research? Or is it just about finding how to arrange the horizontal IAS structure with the vertical ‘college’ one.

DoogieH maybe?

Wanky schmanky.

p1 said :

Ok, so it’s not jargon so much as a needlessly confusing and totally wanky name then?

Well, perhaps more like “its a name that things like this have been given since about the 1930s, so let’s use that name to avoid confusion and perhaps gain some cred from existing institutions with similar names”. The ANU Institute of Advanced Studies was formed when the University was founded, by the Australian National University Act 1946.

“Section 7 of the Act outlines the organisation of ANU in that it was to be divided into two groups: the Institute of Advanced Studies (IAS) and the Faculties. In Section 8 of the Act the structure of the IAS is further defined with institutes to be devoted to medical science (to be known as the John CurtinSchool of Medical Research), the physical sciences, the social sciences, Pacific studies and such other fields of learning as the Council determines. The establishment of the Faculties, as required under the Act, did not take place until 1960 when the CUC was amalgamated with the IAS. The eventual result was to create a university with two parts: the Institute of Advanced Studies, comprising the research schools with research and graduate training responsibilities; and the School of General Studies (now known as The Faculties) comprising faculties with undergraduate and graduate teaching and research responsibilities.”

See, for example, a few among many from around the world:

“The Institute for Advanced Study is one of the world’s leading centers for theoretical research and intellectual inquiry. The Institute exists to encourage and support fundamental research in the sciences and humanities – the original, often speculative, thinking that produces advances in knowledge that change the way we understand the world. “

” The Institute of Advanced Studies enhances the research profile of the University through the fostering of cross-disciplinary activities.”

“By establishing an international institute for postgraduate courses and theoretical and empirical research programmes it was intended to overcome the post-war anti-intellectual attitude and the dreary status of Austrian universities.”

“The Institute for Advanced Studies (IAS) of Jerusalem is a national science institution devoted to academic research.”

“The Dublin Institute for Advanced Studies is a statutory corporation established in 1940 under the Institute for Advanced Studies Act of that year. It is a publicly-funded independent centre for research in basic disciplines. “

“The Institute provides to scholars and scientists of the University of Bologna the instruments and the means to bring to Bologna visiting professors and junior scientists to contribute to the circulation of new ideas and exchange of information. “

Etc.

I think you need to reconceptualise your core frameworks. You’re clearly not leveraging core competencies going forward. You need to take it offline, think outside the box, be pro-active in assessing the strategic fit of the value added issues — then you will empower yourself, be able to fast track your mindset, remain client focussed, and cascade results-driven envisionment to establish a ballpark game plan. In the 24/7 win-win situation, if you’re joining the team, we can touch base to better align your processes and wetware to achieve the mission. Don’t be afraid to run your ideas up the flag pole, but ensure you and your team are rowing together, singing from the same song sheet and dancing to the same tune.

And “Institute of Advanced Studies” isn’t jargon any more than “The-Riotact” or “Ainslie shops” is.

Ok, so it’s not jargon so much as a needlessly confusing and totally wanky name then?

neanderthalsis9:16 am 19 Mar 09

My new favourite phrase comes from Lawrence Springborg in the QLD election campaign:

“I’m looking at front-ending jobs in the state and making positions denecessary.”

I’m still pondering the possible meanings and connotations of denecessary.

For those that don’t know (apparently everyone in this thread), the Institute for Advanced Studies is the name used to collectively refer to the ANU’s various research schools (RSSS, RSPAS, RSPhysSE, etc.). It’s capitalised for a reason – it’s not jargon, that’s what they’re called when considered together.

The “reconceptualise” part is that the vice-chancellor has floated the idea of redefining the IAS to refer to a group of high-performing academics (and changing resource allocations accordingly). If it sounds vague it’s because none of the details have been worked out.

Trunking symbols3:55 pm 18 Mar 09

No, you’ve got it all wrong. The reconceptualisation was done in order to avoid future compartmentalisation. Everybody knows that!

Pretty straightforward sentence there. It has one word – reconceptualise – which some people think of as jargon, but its meaning is completely obvious in this context. Maybe they should have said “re-think the business model for” or “come up with a new way of thinking about”.

And “Institute of Advanced Studies” isn’t jargon any more than “The-Riotact” or “Ainslie shops” is.

Minor journalistic activity with a WKSE reveals: “The proposal is set against a background of identifying how to enhance the University’s research performance and accentuating the value of the unique contribution ANU can make to the national research agenda. The proposal is to reconceptualise how the IAS supports excellent researchers at ANU and how to link that to a suitable focus (with adequate flexibility) so that the infrastructure supporting our researchers remains world-class.”

Ie, sounds like they are wanting to not just twiddle around the edges, or re-name things, or sack people; but rather to actually re-assess and possibly change the way it is thought of, and the structures that creates.

Now it may be that this is just a smokescreen for something else, and the result might still end up being pointless. But the sentence describing the process is completely comprehensible, and doesn’t even rate as jargon, let alone “most incomprehensible and jargon laden sentence ever published”. Its not even “going forward”, for goodness sake.

So, is there a real story here? If not, “Dark day at Riotact – disappears up own rectum” might be a better heading.

anatoli said :

For those that don’t know (apparently everyone in this thread), the Institute for Advanced Studies is the name used to collectively refer to the ANU’s various research schools (RSSS, RSPAS, RSPhysSE, etc.)… that’s what they’re called when considered together.

If that’s true, then ‘Institute for Advanced Studies’ is the longest collective noun I’ve ever come across. There must be something pithier.

Fill in the blank: a …….. of Research Schools

I thought the Institute for Advanced Studies was those two guys on late night TV who play the piano with their hands in the air?

So long as they don’t have any “aspiration targets”, then I’m happy.

Clown Killer2:15 pm 18 Mar 09

Perhaps they’re going to scope a raft of proposals covering yet to be identified objectives over the near to medium term which they can then pro-actively workshop with key stakeholders before bedding down a core suite of achievable outcomes in time to meet established fiscal timelines for the incomming financial year.

If they get that right they can move onto lining all their ducks up in a row and singing from the same song sheet …

Nothing like the APS for verbal masturbation.

It was the first time I heard the term “roll out” that was not in reference to urban installation of data cable.

I praise the day I moved into the private sector. Where ‘go forward’ means ‘just get it done your way’ and the organisational value is simply to work you ass off with complete culpability.

Personal responsibility is so liberating.

Sounds promising. As long as key stakeholders are engaged they can pro-actively broadsheet the operation whilst adhering to key organisational values.

But seriously, my all time favourite was when a boss once referred to the ‘land/sea interface’. Yes folks, the beach

Appalling

No-one overarched or underpinned anything, particularly relevant if they are looking to be ‘going forward’

Research Schools – the fonts of all wisdom and commonsense at the ANU.

regularbrowse12:58 pm 18 Mar 09

Written by an academic committee to insure minimum clarity.

Basically it means that money will be spent on new IAS logos, and then jobs will be cut.

The IAS is the “research” part of the ANU (research schools, centres, and so on). The teaching part is “the Faculties”.

It all got shaken up a little with the move to the new “College” structure, which grouped teaching and research areas together along subject lines, hence the need for a review of the IAS structure.

For those that don’t know (apparently everyone in this thread), the Institute for Advanced Studies is the name used to collectively refer to the ANU’s various research schools (RSSS, RSPAS, RSPhysSE, etc.). It’s capitalised for a reason – it’s not jargon, that’s what they’re called when considered together.

while ‘reconceptualise’ is a tad grandiose and could be simpler, it is in context understand-able and the rest of the sentence is pretty well jargon-free, so one wonders how it might compete against some real heavyweights in the purported ‘most incomprehensible and jargon-laden sentence evah!’ category. i mean, it is harldy PoMo, now, is it??

is there an anti-anu beef here?

AngryHenry said :

You can’t make a pavlova out of sh*t either.

But you can put it in tins and sell it as art.

Google “Merda d’artista (1961)” I dares ya.

Perhaps it’s a picture that would properly illustrate the title of this post.

I’d like to know what Advanced means too. If you do a full Google search for Institute of Advanced Studies, it appears that many other countries have universities with similar institutions. Sounds like a marketing tool to build prestige.

Is there a difference between a university student and an Advanced Student? E.g. do the latter spend less time in the uni bar, more time in the library, actually read their texts…or do they just understand the subject matter, cf their counterparts, the students enrolled at Institutes of Retarded Studies…

Is there someone with an ANU logon who can explain what is on the other end of this link?

I also would like to know what Advanced studies are, and how there are more advanced then the studies undertaken by a top university (their opinion of themselves).

Danman said :

Makes perfect sense to me.

Party A wishes to realign what the institute of Advanced Studies undertakes and is preparing a proposal in order to gain their wish.

This is nothing compared to jargon currently being spewed forth by many a government agency, claiming realignment, internal synergies, convergence, shuffling, downsizing etc, when it just means that mass redundancies are around the corner.

I am aware of many government agencies currently and consistently tries to polish tur*ds by dressing them up with fancy language, but at the end of the day all it equals is that due to the current financial climate the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off for 30% of the workforce

It’s not just the Govt…

We get ‘SPAM’ from management all the time in HP that is worthy of the Awards at http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/ .

And yes, we just had the whole ‘internal synergies’ line thrown at us when the CEO announced the 5% pay cuts…

I thought universities were supposed to be institutions for advanced studies.

Leaving that actual sentence alone, the main problem is that no-one at ANU actually seems to know what the Institute of Advanced Studies is or does. The staff are, for the most part, completely confused as to why it’s needed to begin with, and there’s a lot of controversy over it.

You can’t make a pavlova out of sh*t either.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy11:07 am 18 Mar 09

You can’t polish a turd.

But you CAN roll it in glitter.

Will the Institute of Advanced Studies be sponsoring Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence?

Still no meaningful information in your translation Dan.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Party A wishes to realign what the institute of Advanced Studies undertakes and is preparing a proposal in order to gain their wish.

This is nothing compared to jargon currently being spewed forth by many a government agency, claiming realignment, internal synergies, convergence, shuffling, downsizing etc, when it just means that mass redundancies are around the corner.

I am aware of many government agencies currently and consistently tries to polish tur*ds by dressing them up with fancy language, but at the end of the day all it equals is that due to the current financial climate the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off for 30% of the workforce

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