28 February 2006

Impolite Canberrans in the press

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Found this article in Sydney Morning Herald’s Heckler column. Makes for interesting reading, what do you think?

Canberra – where being polite is a capital offence

[Also sent in by Thumper]

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There’s a third porn suburb, as anyone who sees the makeshift “XXX” signs along the Monaro Highway will know: Hume.

“Canberra – Home of the Hedgehog”

Oh – Mr Evil, I think you’re taking Adelaide’s claim to fame with the unsolved murder thing…

“Canberra – We don’t like the government either”

Here’s one for the lycra brigade:

“Canberra – The Nation’s Jock Itch Capital”

Absent Diane11:16 am 02 Mar 06

Canberra – Men in tights

Hey, porn has two suburbs (someone forgot Mitchell)

Canberra – It could have been Dalgety!

I think Capital Tourism or whatever they’re called these days should be picking these slogans up for their next ad campaign that will get shown on our screens.

“Canberra – more unsolved murders than anywhere else in Australia”

“Canberra – Round-about heaven”

“Canberra – Where porn has it’s own suburb”

Canberra – we hide the good stuff in obscure out of the way places

“Canberra – better than Queanbeyan”

“Canberra – Light No Fires”.

“Canberra – We know what’s good for you”

“Canberra – not quite as crap as you have been led to believe.”

“Canberra – bring your pet camel”

“Canberra – your tax dollar starts here”

Bill Bryson wandered up and down Northbourne looking for a feed and thought the place had no soul. He reluctantly ended up eating at the Rex and was inspired to come up with his slogan.

The funny thing is he would have wandered straight past places like Dickson with no idea they were there.

Another number plate suggestion:

“Canberra – Even John Howard won’t live here!”

sorry, meant to say nice things about Canberra.

we do need big signs at all the entrances to the city saying “if you don’t have a car you will hate this city” and maps to point them at where the good bars hide.

He loved the country – and he even said a few nice things about Canberra (after sniggering a lot about its foibles).

Bill also said quite a few nice things about Australia too.

In his book on Asutralia Bill Bryson came up with his own slogan for the ACT.

“Canberra – Why wait for death?”

Absent Diane3:02 pm 01 Mar 06

thats what im saying despite my frustrations I don’t know why I keep coming back.. I have left several times for several years in a row…. keep on coming back…(to be honest most my frustrations are to do with the people in the public service)

his comments about cyclists are spot on. a selfish and spoiled subsection that suckle from the teat of society and return nothing. they ignore inconvenient things like road rules and bang on about green issues.

canberra drivers are also incompetent and never use indicators, tailgate and use roundabouts like slaloms. this is also behaviour you see everywhere not just canberra.

we do have traffic jams, but they are nowhere near as bad as sydney or melb.

canberra pub servants do sustain a class system mentality, but curiously most of the more arrogant ones came originally from sydney.

AD – (just in case you aren’t trolling for a bite and take the above rambling seriously), if you don’t like it here piss off – nobody is forcing you to stay.

I like simto’s idea for the plates. How about;

“Canberra – You can’t beat us so join us”.
“Canberra – Envy of the Nation”
“Canberra – Pick on someone your own size”
“Canberra – where everything hasn’t been trashed yet”

We should have a comp to see who can come up with the funniest and most apt plate slogan. The winner can drink for free at the next RA get-together.

Absent Diane9:39 am 01 Mar 06

I actually think he is spot on…canberra is a very rude city… I think it goes hand in hand with the public service… it breeds rudeness and arrogance all wrapped up and served on a plate incompetance.

I often honestly do wonder why I keep coming back to this rude and bitchy city.

I think we have a brand new number plate: “Canberra – We’re not putting up with any more of your crap”.

Look, there is a side to Canberra that is, dare we say it, just a little arrogant. But that’s just becuase we do know better than anyone else.

midnitecalla9:24 pm 28 Feb 06

I commute to and from the ACt once a fortnight as part of my work, and I agree that the sydney siders are rude and arrogant in a differing field that the ACT drivers take, but the cyclists all are cut from the same cloth! All “serious cyclists” take the view that they are non polluting, But ever stand near one in a coffee shop after a five mile hard ride? they reek of bo,that is air pollution as it’s most primitive! also they ride two abreast and as far im led to believe, that is still illegal
on a public road has been since early last century

but try to tell these “citizens” that they just act with baffle ment that a motorist would know so much more than they.

sure they may have cars at home but to act like a pseudo lance armstrong whilst out at thier hobby and thinking others are glad / grateful/ awe inspired invites trouble dosent it?

i for one do NOT appriciate those idiots that put my family at risk by jetting out between parked cars then hog the lane and expecting me to be able to stop them becoming a hood ornament in a flash. All the while giving me the hairy eye ball of shame. i see this too often . Also what happened to ringing the bell when near the drivers side to stop motorists abruptly open ing doors on them? i have had three doors bent ( the cyclists paid for the repairs as i proved no warning bell was sounded so take heed peadllers)and i DO watch for them by the way,

and to run down the city where i grew up in and rode the cycle paths safley and properly is too much. those who cant imagine how bloody lucky we have a unsung world class city to call home.

barking toad8:55 pm 28 Feb 06

Well I can guarantee it ain’t the Langy I know. A bike wouldn’t even be considered when the daily routine involves getting to and from a 4 hour lunch. And a suggestion that the lycra be donned would likely get a response along the lines “get fucked poof!”.

oops…forgot the 2).

What a knob jockey!

Ooh one cyclist and all of Canberra is shite.

Then again, whenever anything happens in Parliament, they blame “Canberra” as a whole. They seem to forget that 1) the PM lives in NSW and most Federal MPs DON’T live in Canberra.

Arseholes…..

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t have many problems with people like walking on the street etc. Someone mentioned that everyone is in their own little bubble… uh yeah ? Its not a whole ‘lets hold hands and be one nice big happy family’ world I’m afraid. Now, with saying that you do get the occasional asshole who clearly thinks that it is their right to push you out of the way to get to where they need to be faster. But if thats ever happened to me, I get a ‘sorry!’ at least.

I didnt grow up in Canberra, I’ve been here about 7 years. But when I return back to Wollongong, I appreciate what we have here. I find that most Canberra residents are fairly polite, and the only people I personally hear whining about Canberra drivers are my parents and grandparents… If someone is driving too slow – you go around them. I don’t know, once again, maybe it’s just me ?

I have lived in a few places, including overseas and I find that the bigger the city the more arrogant and rude the people.

I have also found that there are bad drivers everywhere. Canberra you probably just get to see them more because you actually go faster than bumper to bumper traffic.

Anyone who doesn’t like the place can bugger off somewhere else. I love it and I’m staying. I’m even nice to people and say hi when I pass them on my bike or walking my dog.

Which state does have a good number plate slogan?

I hate Sydney and Melbourne – not too bad to visit for a weekend but that’s about it. Too many rude arrogant knob jockeys, bad traffic and roads, shit drivers, polution and long commuting times, hence I in Canberra.

There are people who love it here and stay and those who hate it, and whinge. Someone get that guy a tissue and a shoulder to cry on the whingy little bitch.

Yeah – as everyone has concurred the Lycra tools of the “tour de pube” do suck. Oh, and yes, Canberra drivers do suck. Oh – we can also be rude as well – although i’m tipping it’s a lot less rude here than it was last time I was in Fairfield, Lakemba, Bankstown, Strathfield, Randwick, Double Bay, Paddington, Darlinghurst… in fact most of the places I’ve been to in Sydeny are either dangerous shit-holes or pretentious shit holes. If he hates it here he is welcome to fuck off back rather than further besmirching our already tarnished reputation.

IMHO I’ll say no thanks Peter, I’m happy enough here being a crap driver and being rude to ignorant little bitches like yourself. I don’t do Bicycles or Lycra, so you’ll have to be creative next time you want to find something to whine about.

I’d love that sh!t on my on my plates though – I did have a bit of a laugh about that.

Fiona and Mael, ride a pushy for a bit and you’ll find you’re hopping from path to road and back, it’s inevitable.

however taking up a whole lane is just asking for an accident and trying to insist on right-of-way against cars is just insane.

Would you put your real name on an article like this?

when there is only one peter lang listed in the phonebook?

Check out Dobinson’s in Bunda St around 8:00am on a Saturday morning. The lycra set in full mating plummage. More posing than the National Portrait Gallery, more preening than the Currumbin Bird Sanctuary. It’s a hoot!

Sadly, being a born and bred Canberran, I found everything this wanker said to be pretty much spot on :-S

it was I shoved the heckling tosser in the ditch! haha!! I cant dispute the lycra tho – cyclists in lycra are dangerous mostly to themselves

PS: We were the only ones on the road at the time.

I thought it was a great piece. Canberra drivers ARE among THE worst drivers I have ever seen, and I live around here!

One example: I remember me and my husband driving along on a country road near Victoria one time, and being dumbstruck when a car with ACT plates screamed up behind us, tailgated the car briefly, then overtook when we didn’t get the message to go over the speed limit for his convenience.

But for the record, by the way, I consider Central Coast drivers to be even worse. You take your life into your hands every time you enter a roundabout up there.

actually.. i had a friend who moved to melbourne and she came back for a weekend and said she was amazed how arrogant, and rude, and self-important everyone here was…
This was after about 3 months of living in melb, and she said the people are heaps nicer there…

however.. bad weather.. hook turns.. sprawling city…

Fiona, there’s a paticular pedestrian crossing I have in mind enroute to Dickson.

There is a blind curve where a vehicle cannot see a bike approaching, and I’ve seen bikes come flying through at times.

The letter of the law (prepared to be corrected here as I haven’t looked it up) is a cyclist must dismount and then cross the road (as a pedestrian). If they’re on their bike, fair game, play dodgeball with them.

I hate that cyclists go go interchangably from the road to the pedestrian crossings etc.

Is it the law to give way to cyclists on a pedestrian crossing here? I just don’t always see them flying out from the side like that… gah

I just wish they’d eitehr ride ont eh paths or the road. One or the other, not whichever suits best that split second.

Peter who??…gives a shit.

“Every state has a stupid slogan on their numberplates. Canberra goes better, and has three. “The Nation’s Capital” which is at least a statement of fact, “Heart of the Nation” which is not, and “Feel the Power” because “Bend over, losers, and feel the power of Canberra” was too long to fit on the plates.”

How can you not give him points for that?
It’s funny, sheesh, delicate flowers much.

Spot on, that fella!

Actually. I agree with much of what he said.

I love Canberra. I love it for its parks, its roads, its ‘communion’ with nature. Its a beautiful city and has so much going for it…except its inhabitants.

People that live here are different to people in any other city Ive ever been to. They dont look past thier noses, live in thier own little bubbles and resist as much as possible any outside influence into thier own little worlds…

Poor Peter Lang, must’ve been having a bad day.. road rage, bike lycra rage, pedestrian rage, annoying number plates and maybe stubbed his toe on the photocopier at work to top it all off. No wonder he felt that way, I would too, if I was a complete loser. Lead by example Mr Lang.

me speliing to shiiite.

Poor Sydneysider, having to move to Canberra due to better living and working conditions and then haviong to deal with the rest of us. Perhaps we best contact our friend here and find out his route to work so as he drives by we can bow down to our toes and avert our eyes lest we offend him. Better find the virgins to start throwing rose petal leaves at his feet while we are at it…

Turgid sludge. I sure hope they don’t pay for prattle like that.

i always think it’s a bit sad (and i mean pathetic-sad) when people bag out the place where they live, and is far more a reflection on them (to not take control of their own lives and move elsewhere) than the place they are living where there are 100,000s of others who are quite happy and continue to live here because they love it! every place has it’s good and bad qualities – that applies to EVERYWHERE without exception.

true statements though are that lycra is bad, and that drivers in canberra are quite terrible (with no excuse as our roads are excellent and traffic is not that bad!).

Hrmms, “To pick targets such as Canberra’s bad driving, stupid number plates and inconsiderate cyclists”. Instead of reading RA, how about visiting Canberra to make your own decisions about the place ?

That pretty much just a summary of last months discussions isn’t it ?

he has a point about the evils of the lycra legion and the sad and pathetic tourism campaigns.

the guy sounds like a cock sucker and should be treated as such!

To pick targets such as Canberra’s bad driving, stupid number plates and inconsiderate cyclists jeez it’s like shooting fish in a barrel, all the statements are true so either deal with it or move somewhere else.

But one thing that really pisses me off is the connect he decided to make between Parliament House and canberrans having influence over decisions. go and get fucked!!!

It’s scary how true some of that is!

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