19 March 2009

Jet closed until 1 June

| johnboy
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The NCA brings word that, following on from their abject failure to extend the hours of the Captain Cook Memorial Jet for Canberra Day, the jet will now be out of action until 1 June.

    The recent high turbidity in Lake Burley Griffin has put pressure on the mechanical systems that run the jet and lead to unexpected faults.

    Repairs include reconstructing the actuator and replacing the pressure control valve. The jet will also be assessed for future maintenance issues.

    NCA Acting Chief Executive, Gary Rake said the engineering behind the Captain Cook Memorial Jet is complex and takes time to repair.

    ‘As there are not many fountains of this kind in the world, mechanical parts are not readily available. It’s not a matter of simply ringing your local plumber to order in the part,’ he said.

    The Captain Cook Memorial Jet has an ongoing maintenance strategy.

    The pressure control valve was scheduled for repair in May, after close consultation with the Lake User Group on a suitable date. The part was commissioned over two years ago.

    The unexpected breakage of the actuator has extended the timeframe for repairs.

    ‘We appreciate that this iconic landmark is one of Canberra’s favourite tourist attractions. We are doing everything we can to limit the time the jet is out of operation and will complete the repairs as quickly as possible,’ said Mr Rake.

So not only will we have fireworks for the Queen’s Birthday, but a return to water works.

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These are our little town’s stuff-ups, so we Canberrans love to hate them in our own way. Just like Sydneysiders love the M5. I think Hells Bells has a point though – no-one died in the construction of the GDE, AMC or the Arboretum, or because of the normal opperations of the CCMJ, so the first stop on imhotep’s tour should be the site of the ANM.

At about 8:35, if the visitors have ever used the M5 in Sydney or the Tullamarine Fwy in Melbourne they’ll probably ask what the f.ck you’re whinging about.

At about 9:05 they might ask about the “recycled water used on this site” sign they just saw, and since they know Canberrans are much too precious to cop recycled water in their drinking supply how the potable water restrictions have anything to do with the arboretum?

Hells_Bells749:04 am 20 Mar 09

Agreed, very good imhotep..

kobez_outlaw said :

Well done imhotep. Our government isn’t the smartest or most progressive of governments are they. I think the GDE is easily the biggest stuff up in Canberra though. Dumbest thing I have ever some across.

Oh I don’t know, it’s a tough contest with The Royal Canberra Hospital so-called implosion too.

kobez_outlaw1:06 am 20 Mar 09

Well done imhotep. Our government isn’t the smartest or most progressive of governments are they. I think the GDE is easily the biggest stuff up in Canberra though. Dumbest thing I have ever some across.

Brilliant post, imhotep! Hilarious!

After the water jet, the NCA’s next biggest fountain responsibility is probably the Centenary of Federation Fountains between Old Parliament House and John Dunmore Lang Place. These four fountains, adjacent to the Reflection Pond, are stunning, when they are working. For some reason, they almost never seem to be properly working!

Often there is only two on at a time, on one side of the Reflection Pond, or often, like in the last week, three out of the four are on. Then, during the last week I noticed that one of the fountains was shooting water more than twice the normal height into the air, completely destroying the design of the water (which resembles a wedding cake – like Old Parliament House itself). Was this because the other fountain in the pond was not working?

Does anyone have any inside information on why these fountains seem so dysfunctional? And why is the water drained from their ponds so frequently? Why don’t the fountains just work like fountains should? Can’t a Federal Government agency manage that – or do we need a local government to step in and take them over?

I’m actually thinking about a new interstate tourist venture targeting the ‘I hate Canberra’ demographic, which, as any non-Canberran knows, is a pretty large target.
At this stage, the itinerary is as follows:

8.00AM. Start of at the north end of the GDE. Passengers can marvel at the structures beside this road. Imagine their surprise when told that these are considered art here in Canberra, and that taxpayers have actually paid money for them.

8.30 AM Traveling further down the GDE, visitors will again be amazed that this congested single lane is known as an ‘expressway’ here in Canberra. Imagine their surprise when told that it has only just been completed at great expense.

9.AM Stop at a dusty paddock grandly titled the Canberra International Arboretum. Visitors will be shown the intense activity at this site and note that here, no expense has been spared, despite the city’s dwindling supply of water and money, and the dying trees in urban streets. Visitors will not be surprised to learn that the Arboretum is a pet project of Canberra’s shire president, who is grandly titled Chief Minister.

9.30 AM No tour of Canberra stuff-ups would be complete without a trip to the spectacular Captain Cook Memorial Jet. Stopping at some convenient point along the lake, staff from the NCA will walk around the bus holding up historical photos of the fountain in operation, while another staff member will board the bus and give a random excuse for the fountain’s non-operation. In mangled English

9.45 AM The bus will then depart for the Alexander Maconochie Centre, a new state of the art facility which sets a new benchmark in the humane treatment of prisoners. By now, passengers will no longer be surprised that, despite great fanfare at its official opening, no prisoner has ever darkened its door.

Thus, having all their preconceived notions about Canberra confirmed, passengers will return in comfort to their home state, secure in the knowledge that when it comes to incompetence, nothing can compete with Canberra

go, you say that! 😉

kobez_outlaw2:23 pm 19 Mar 09

The thing is never on anymore anyway. I say once it’s back on it stay’s on for a week 8:30-6 all week. 🙂

AG Canberra said :

Maybe the guys from the Advance Medical Institute can help….

isn’t that a bit premature?

Maybe the guys from the Advance Medical Institute can help….

A jetastrophe indeed ?

A jettisoned jet?

old canberran11:16 am 19 Mar 09

Jet Lag??

geez loueeze i wish they’d just fix this and get it back on. i like me my jet, i do…

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