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Joys of public transport

By Kayem - 11 September 2013 36

“An Evening at Woden Bus Interchange”: a play in one, very short act.

Scene: 7pm on a Tuesday evening. Woden Interchange. On the 3 series platform, three wearied travellers are anticipating the purchase of a tariff from the local public transport authority.

Arsehat 1 (very loudly): Hey Arsehat 2, you’re a effing c-bomb;

Arsehat 2 (to narrator): Hey Mister, do you have two bucks?

Bus to wrong destination pulls into interchange.

Narrator (to Arsehat 2): I’m afraid I only have my bus fare and I need to … get on that bus right there, right now.

Curtain.

Casting notes for Director: Arsehats should be cast as fifteen year old female street urchins.

What’s Your opinion?


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36 Responses to
Joys of public transport
Monomyth 10:58 pm 11 Sep 13

Woden Interchange is the only place I can witness a very drunk man share a VB longneck with a slightly more sober stranger and, through the course of the ensuing trip, invite himself over for soup.

sepi 9:31 pm 11 Sep 13

Once in civic interchange one asked me for 5.00 to get a taxi.

I said I can’t afford taxis – that’s why I’m catching a bus.

I’m glad to hear they are back to asking for 2.00 again.

Kayem 8:56 pm 11 Sep 13

milkman said :

When kids and druggie scum ask if I have 2 bucks I sometimes respond with “yes, thanks” and keep walking.

Once a long time ago when I lived in Campbell and worked in the City, I was bailed up by a $2 seeker with child in tow in Glebe Park so they could both get something to eat. I said “sure” and walked them both to Civic Maccas and asked the kid what he wanted to order. Dad, too. Kid was stoked. Dad was pissed. I walked away $10 lighter and smug as. At least I got smugness and they got fed. Arsehats in OP didn’t look like they needed feeding.

milkman 7:46 pm 11 Sep 13

poetix said :

gazket said :

liquid nail $2 to the ground, then press record. Funny as.

That is not a kind thing to do.

Hence the ‘funny’ part.

milkman 7:45 pm 11 Sep 13

When kids and druggie scum ask if I have 2 bucks I sometimes respond with “yes, thanks” and keep walking.

Kayem 7:26 pm 11 Sep 13

YeahBuddy said :

Best. Play. Ever

Thanks. Sometimes less is more in the arts.

A_Cog said :

I vote that TheRoundaboutCrew make this play into a tele-movie.

As for a casting call, who do you think should / could convincingly play the roles of the arsehats?

Should you convince them, I will release the script under a Creative Commons license.

watto23 said :

I prefer to speak a foreign language then shake my head as If I have no idea what they want.

I think if I pretended to only speak a foreign language, the Arsehats might have bashed me for sport.

Madam Cholet said :

gazket said :

liquid nail $2 to the ground, then press record. Funny as.

But it’s not going to be very interesting to watch while Narrator has to get on a bus to Bunnings to go and fetch the liquid nails, although will be when he/she gets back to find Arsehats 1&2 have since moved on.

Anyway, I liked it. It was gritty and I managed to connect with the narrator. I’m thinking Kyle Sandilands as one of the arsehats. And the beauty of this play is that it will translate into a myriad of locations around the country.

Or something like that.

While playing an Arsehat would, for Mr Sandilands, simply be playing himself, the idea of him dressed as a fifteen year old female street urchin is disturbing (casting notes for Director refers).

Madam Cholet 4:41 pm 11 Sep 13

gazket said :

liquid nail $2 to the ground, then press record. Funny as.

But it’s not going to be very interesting to watch while Narrator has to get on a bus to Bunnings to go and fetch the liquid nails, although will be when he/she gets back to find Arsehats 1&2 have since moved on.

Anyway, I liked it. It was gritty and I managed to connect with the narrator. I’m thinking Kyle Sandilands as one of the arsehats. And the beauty of this play is that it will translate into a myriad of locations around the country.

Or something like that.

poetix 4:25 pm 11 Sep 13

gazket said :

liquid nail $2 to the ground, then press record. Funny as.

That is not a kind thing to do.

gazket 3:54 pm 11 Sep 13

liquid nail $2 to the ground, then press record. Funny as.

Robertson 2:40 pm 11 Sep 13

I like it in Act 2, when the police turn up to Platform 14, carefully put their rubber gloves on, gingerly search Arsehat 3’s backpack and discover an Aladdin’s cave of shoplifted bottles of Jim Beam.

watto23 2:16 pm 11 Sep 13

I prefer to speak a foreign language then shake my head as If I have no idea what they want.

wildturkeycanoe 2:10 pm 11 Sep 13

I wouldn’t pay $2 to see a show without better reviews than these. No wonder you walked away.
Now if a third actor intervened and started up with some peddling of illegal narcotics, that would make an interesting plot.

A_Cog 2:08 pm 11 Sep 13

I vote that TheRoundaboutCrew make this play into a tele-movie.

As for a casting call, who do you think should / could convincingly play the roles of the arsehats?

YeahBuddy 1:36 pm 11 Sep 13

Best. Play. Ever

Instant Mash 12:45 pm 11 Sep 13

Good ol’ Woden interchange. Never fails to disappoint.

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