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Keep driving with your headlights on, Genius!

By joepublic - 1 September 2010 77

Hey Canberran drivers! Kudos to all the people out there who drive in the middle of the sunniest days with their headlights on. I don’t know why we never thought of it before, but until you turn your lights on, how on earth can we see you!

Imagine how long we’ve just been driving around avoiding head-on collisions by sheer accident!

How the rest of the planet drives during sunny afternoons without headlights on is a mystery akin to… international airports that only have domestic destinations!

So, whoever said “Driving brings out the sheep behind the idiot” can go and eat their words. Headlight drivers, you have enlightened the rest of us with your power-draining wit. Thanks to you, we child-brained heathens – recklessly driving with our headlights off – have now seen the light. A blinding yet visionary light.

At first, it seems a little… stupid to put your headlights on when they have absolutely no effect, when their design to reduce “darkness” logically entails “darkness”. It seems strange, since ostensibly neither do they improve safety nor situational awareness… at all. Afterall, the sun is shining, visual distance is the horizon, and it’s so bright you need sun-glasses just to see. There isn’t anything on the road you can’t see.

Yet even on the brightest, sunniest days, you can see these sun-glass-wearing fonts of intellect driving around in silent brilliance, like a special elite club of lateral thinkers. They nod to each other, because they know. We don’t. Neither does the rest of the world.

As intellectual prodigies are always consistent in the application of their powers, we morons will be unsurprised to see dismounted daylight-headlightists strolling through the shopping malls with a giant dolphin spot-light scanning the aisles of Big W for extra batteries, safely avoiding collisions with countless non-dolphin spot-light wielding shoppers. They are also the ones who wear sun-glasses at the movies and sleep with their eyes open.

So, it does seem a little… dumb, doesn’t it. A little counter-intuitive. Like ordering desert before the main, delivering a pizza to Dominos, reading the kids a good morning story before they get up, or wearing t-shirts and shorts in 5 degree weather… ah, yeah that’s actually another regional mystery.

But the genius is often hidden, isn’t it. The smartest ideas often present in the disguise of mental illness. What we non-headlighters don’t understand is due to our own mental deficiencies. We imbeciles keep our headlights off during the day simply because we are narrow minded. We think that headlights only serve to improve vision where it is impaired: in the darkness, the rain, the fog. We stupidly think that headlights are used to see and be seen. NO!

Headlights are a safety feature of significant importance and critical significance:

The lights from a car’s headlights during a sunny day are so distracting they cause other drivers to become tunnel visioned trying to fathom this sheepish phenomenon of regional particularity. This enforced curiosity stimulates the neo-cortex and forces the inferior mind of the non-headlightist to engage the thinking elements of the brain, thus improving their ability to recognise pure genius by concluding that it’s so unbelievable it must be smart. Drivers then  steer clear of the headlightist’s path out of sheer awe; just as the village peasants part to make way for royalty. Thus, safety is improved.

Driving on sunny days with your headlights on: just brilliant!

What’s Your opinion?


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77 Responses to
Keep driving with your headlights on, Genius!
Madame Workalot 10:23 am 01 Sep 10

Are you seriously that precious that you think someone driving with their headlights on affects you? If you find it so distracting, I strongly suspect the issue lies with you, not other road users.

I don’t understand how this can possibly be distracting or dangerous. Please, help me out here. I’ve read your rant several times, but can still find absolutely nothing beyond ‘blinding’. WTF? Do you also find streetlights dazzling? Lights in a house? Solar lights in someone’s garden?

FWIW, I drive a black car and always drive with my parking lights or headlights on low beam. This has saved my bacon quite a few times – inattentive people are challenged enough just performing the basic functions of driving, and I’m happy to help in any way possible to ensure my own safety and that of others around me.

And don’t even get me started on the people driving without lights in the fog yesterday morning….

screaming banshee 10:18 am 01 Sep 10

Have we all forgotten the simplest of rules in this much more moderated riot act

DONT FEED THE TROLLS!

Hells_Bells74 10:13 am 01 Sep 10

I did enjoy the post though, ’twas funny!

Hells_Bells74 10:11 am 01 Sep 10

I thought it was good to see motorbikes having them on always. Not that I’ve noticed either way for a long time.

Me no fry 10:09 am 01 Sep 10

Surely you jest – or perhaps you’re not terribly bright. You will usually see a car with its’ headlights on fractionally sooner than you will see a car without its’ headlights on – even in daylight, but especially in sub-optimal light conditions (overcast day, rain, fog, shadows).

I hope you’re not one of those dimwits who drive around in the fog with no lights on, somehow convinced that turning your damn lights on is a sign of weakness.

outdoormagoo 10:09 am 01 Sep 10

Joepublic, you are a douche.

There are a great many cars, especially european ones, have this feature as standard. I would recommend you try doing some research before running your mouth off http://www.acrs.org.au/collegepolicies/vehicles/daytimerunninglights.html

Apart from the fact you are a clown, in what way does other peoples headlights affect you during the day??

Jim Jones 10:07 am 01 Sep 10

FOTW!!!

sunshinelollipops 10:04 am 01 Sep 10

Really makes you wonder who the bigger idiot is doesn’t it, the person who forgets to turn their headlights off or has them turn on automatically, or this guy who gets his knickers in a knot and spends a good ten minutes of his life typing up the above rant about a petty issue thinking he’s pretty clever for it.

arescarti42 10:00 am 01 Sep 10

Wow, what a rant, I can’t believe you invested so much time into writing about something as trivial as people driving with their lights on. Especially seeing as we’ve had this discussion on RA before.

Having lights turned on during the day does increase visibility and subsequently safety, that’s why a lot of motorcycles have their headlights permanently wired on.

Fog lights and driving lights are a different story, but driving with your headlights on is perfectly legal and reasonable. If you have a personal problem with it, I suggest you purchase some sunglasses, they’re not expensive.

Holden Caulfield 9:56 am 01 Sep 10

Never mind the fact that studies around the world have shown headlights during the day, or daytime running lights, can actually have safety benefits…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daytime_running_lamp#Safety_performance

When I drove a black car I would put my headlights on all the time. I did this for the simple fact that I noticed other black cars were sometimes difficult to see during the day when driving through a tree lined street, for example, where light and dark quickly affect visibility (especially on sunny days). Realising that my black car was no different to the others I was seeing I concluded that sometimes I might difficult to see as well.

It may only be an incremental improvement in visibility, I agree, but I see enough idiots on the road already to realise they need all they help they can get to see other road users around them.

My current car has daytime running lights and I think they’re a pretty good feature, to be honest.

You might also be surprised to learn that some hire car companies have their fleet wired up so that low beams are on at all times. I first noticed this back in the late 90s, so it’s hardly like this is a new phenomenon.

Haha, but keep getting fired up about it. It’s good to have a laugh from time to time.

Ernie 9:50 am 01 Sep 10

You know what JoePublic, I would much prefer people leaving their lights on during the day than all the nutters who don’t put them on at dusk/dark. Just so you know, people who drive with their lights on during the day might not be aware. For example, I live in an apartment block with underground parking that isn’t very well lit so I put my lights on and sometimes forget to turn them off thus driving in the bright light of day with lights on. I remember to turn them off 98% of the time.

Rossco Downunder 9:49 am 01 Sep 10

Can’t speak for everyone else…

But, on closer observation you might notice that Fords are over represented. My Falcon is set up so that the lights come on automatically even though the switch is in the “off” position. You can turn them off only by having parking lights on instead. Which since the parkers are in the headlights just makes them look dimmer.

The car used to belong to Telstra who I understand had this option fitted to their whole fleet. Perhaps, they are not the only fleet operator to do so.

You’d be pleased to know I’ve since had it deactivated because it was costing me a small fortune in globes. (Not to mention that the fitting of globes to a Falcon is best done by a contortionist with masochistic tendencies and involves partially disassembling the car).

Also, some cars nowadays will turn the headlights on automatically… and an overcast day is sometimes enough.

Won’t stop it annoying you… but, at least it’ll shed some light on your musings about there intellects. They DIDN’T turn them on necessarily.

pptvb 9:46 am 01 Sep 10

FOTW ??
D*&KHEAD

harryhaller 9:44 am 01 Sep 10

“How the rest of the planet drives during sunny afternoons without headlights on is a mystery akin to… international airports that only have domestic destinations!”

Let’s not forget that in many countries of the world it is mandatory to drive with headlights on all the time, for example, in all Scandinavian countries as far as I know. In Germany, as another example, it is recommended but not mandatory as often it makes it easier to spot traffic from far away when you’re trying to overtake, etc.

While I don’t personally adhere to this practice, I can’t really find fault in it either.

DeadlySchnauzer 9:42 am 01 Sep 10

Most modern cars (especially European ones) automatically switch on lower powered head lights during the day as a safety feature. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daytime_running_lamp

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