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Keep driving with your headlights on, Genius!

By joepublic 1 September 2010 77

Hey Canberran drivers! Kudos to all the people out there who drive in the middle of the sunniest days with their headlights on. I don’t know why we never thought of it before, but until you turn your lights on, how on earth can we see you!

Imagine how long we’ve just been driving around avoiding head-on collisions by sheer accident!

How the rest of the planet drives during sunny afternoons without headlights on is a mystery akin to… international airports that only have domestic destinations!

So, whoever said “Driving brings out the sheep behind the idiot” can go and eat their words. Headlight drivers, you have enlightened the rest of us with your power-draining wit. Thanks to you, we child-brained heathens – recklessly driving with our headlights off – have now seen the light. A blinding yet visionary light.

At first, it seems a little… stupid to put your headlights on when they have absolutely no effect, when their design to reduce “darkness” logically entails “darkness”. It seems strange, since ostensibly neither do they improve safety nor situational awareness… at all. Afterall, the sun is shining, visual distance is the horizon, and it’s so bright you need sun-glasses just to see. There isn’t anything on the road you can’t see.

Yet even on the brightest, sunniest days, you can see these sun-glass-wearing fonts of intellect driving around in silent brilliance, like a special elite club of lateral thinkers. They nod to each other, because they know. We don’t. Neither does the rest of the world.

As intellectual prodigies are always consistent in the application of their powers, we morons will be unsurprised to see dismounted daylight-headlightists strolling through the shopping malls with a giant dolphin spot-light scanning the aisles of Big W for extra batteries, safely avoiding collisions with countless non-dolphin spot-light wielding shoppers. They are also the ones who wear sun-glasses at the movies and sleep with their eyes open.

So, it does seem a little… dumb, doesn’t it. A little counter-intuitive. Like ordering desert before the main, delivering a pizza to Dominos, reading the kids a good morning story before they get up, or wearing t-shirts and shorts in 5 degree weather… ah, yeah that’s actually another regional mystery.

But the genius is often hidden, isn’t it. The smartest ideas often present in the disguise of mental illness. What we non-headlighters don’t understand is due to our own mental deficiencies. We imbeciles keep our headlights off during the day simply because we are narrow minded. We think that headlights only serve to improve vision where it is impaired: in the darkness, the rain, the fog. We stupidly think that headlights are used to see and be seen. NO!

Headlights are a safety feature of significant importance and critical significance:

The lights from a car’s headlights during a sunny day are so distracting they cause other drivers to become tunnel visioned trying to fathom this sheepish phenomenon of regional particularity. This enforced curiosity stimulates the neo-cortex and forces the inferior mind of the non-headlightist to engage the thinking elements of the brain, thus improving their ability to recognise pure genius by concluding that it’s so unbelievable it must be smart. Drivers then  steer clear of the headlightist’s path out of sheer awe; just as the village peasants part to make way for royalty. Thus, safety is improved.

Driving on sunny days with your headlights on: just brilliant!

What’s Your opinion?


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77 Responses to
Keep driving with your headlights on, Genius!
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2.0 3:47 pm 09 Sep 10

Lets all just drive around with our headlights on just for JP

bigcohuna1 1:45 pm 09 Sep 10

When I used to drive Fire trucks for a living – I was amazed at the amoutn of people who said “I didn’t see you”

Over the years even emergency vehicles are now either fitted with automatic systems for the headlights to come on or for older vehicles, the driver usually turns them on.

the eyes are attracted to a) Bright Colours and b) movement

Nowadays, even the flashing lights are not just red or blue but include plain old bright WHITE.

Lighting works at distance.

These days I am a professional driver and do lots o km’s and on the highway the amount of cars that contnue to over take at the wrong moment is staggering and these clowns usually don’t have their lights on. Lights on during the day is great and gives you a good indication of approaching traffic

They don’t waste power (unless your lights come from a 747, then I reckon your alternator probably won’t keep up)

and as for the post re ging through a fortune in globes – must be a cheepskate

try some nightforce lights as well – y’know the kind – bright enough to scorch the grass!!

Jim Jones 10:57 am 07 Sep 10

WonderfulWorld said :

Jim Jones said :

FOTW!!!

OK RAs please educate me. FOTW, Fly on the wall? Fact of the Week? Flags of the World? Follower of the World? TFTH.

Flame of the Week.

rapunzel 10:12 am 07 Sep 10

you light up my life.

sleepyphoenix 2:55 am 07 Sep 10

Honestly with the way you people drive here you need as much safety features possible. So I am totally for daylight headlights

matt31221 8:10 pm 06 Sep 10

+1 Pommy bastard,

all the motorbikes I have ever owned including the ZX14r ninja I just bought have had the headlights hard wired on, so the headlight switch does nothing. I think it is legislation here in Canberra, for good reason too.

The only time that headlights annoy me is when there is a 4×4 with massively enhanced headlights that have higher lumens than most highbeams. Mongrels!

Katietonia 9:11 am 06 Sep 10

You are a complete idiot. It’s illegal to drive with your headlights off at any time in many countries for a reason. It is safer!

p1 10:26 pm 03 Sep 10

WonderfulWorld said :

Jim Jones said :

FOTW!!!

OK RAs please educate me. FOTW, Fly on the wall? Fact of the Week? Flags of the World? Follower of the World? TFTH.

It’s a reptoid thing. You wouldn’t understand.

WonderfulWorld 9:47 pm 03 Sep 10

Jim Jones said :

FOTW!!!

OK RAs please educate me. FOTW, Fly on the wall? Fact of the Week? Flags of the World? Follower of the World? TFTH.

Cameron 6:02 pm 02 Sep 10

Woody Mann-Caruso said :

Actually, that was an unfair characterisation of your comments. I retract my snark, and apologise.

Cool.

Madman 5:30 pm 02 Sep 10

I drive with my lights on all the time as I drive a dark car.
Dark cars are the easiest to not be seen and are more likely to be involved in an accident, so I’ve shift my odds back in my favour by driving with my lights on!

Tests done under controlled condition at MIT prove that car with their lights on are 14% more visible than cars without their lights on….

Thoroughly Smashed 4:46 pm 02 Sep 10

I enjoyed that. The rest of the thread not so much.

taninaus 6:53 am 02 Sep 10

JP you are obviously a poor sensitive soul – do you feel better for your rant?

You obviously need to go visit one of our wonderful meditation centres or leafy parks to destress and figure out what matters in life.

hawker 3:02 am 02 Sep 10

I’m sorry to be a smartarse on my first post on the forum.

This does annoy me, however, I understand a lot of cars have the feature enabled already, and are unable to turn the lights off due to safety. I know that some people are lazy though.

However, I wish to point out the two things that annoy the hell out of me:

1) Having one light broken, and not bothering to fix it. I see it almost every day on the roads. I work the night shift from 10.30pm to 7am, and every night I see at least half a dozen cars with their lights not working.

2) People who have a dim light, so they use the high beams to compensate, brilliant idea, blind people. How about you fix your light twit?

I had my left headlight die a few weeks ago, I had it fixed within 12 hours (to change it over on my car isn’t a 5 minute job, so I had to wait till I had time). Why can’t everyone else do this?

Wanon 12:11 am 02 Sep 10

Hey, that’s actually a pretty good idea. I think I will leave my headlights on during the day too. You can’t be too carefull with all the Canberra drivers on the road down here.

Sgt.Bungers 10:09 pm 01 Sep 10

Your post highlights how seperated from other human beings we become when cooped up in a completely enclosed motor vehicle. Normally when humans talk to one another, we are not only listening, we are observing body language, facial expressions, what the eyes are doing… it’s complicated. When driving, that “conversation” is pretty much reduced to blinkers and brake lights. There’s honestly little wonder why humans get frustrated so easily on the road. Then we start to imagine what the other person must be thinking, (judging from what exactly?)… we attempt to show anger by accelerating hard past someone who may have just cut us off… silly really.

Do you honestly believe that people driving with their headlights on during the day actively think they’re superior to others? Or was this just a well written troll?

I personally drive with my lights on all the time. Ignition on, lights on. Don’t know how I got into the habit, but it’s not one I’m about to break anytime soon.

Before you go on your next tirade, some light reading for you re day time running light trials around the world. In regards to a day time running light standard, Australia is a bit behind the rest of the developed world (as usual), however in the meantime, headlights on all the time is a good start:

http://www.acrs.org.au/collegepolicies/vehicles/daytimerunninglights.html
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2850978/
http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/Pubs/809760.pdf
http://www.motorauthority.com/blog/1025245_eu-announces-plan-for-mandatory-daytime-running-lights-by-2011

If you couldn’t be bothered reading those… the jist of the articles is that forward facing white lights on motor vehicles during the day can reduce some types of crashes by up to 23%.

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