29 April 2013

Get your Monday parking hit

| Barcham
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Boom! It’s a new working week ladies and gentlemen! I hope you’re all full of fire and ready to scortch your way through this Monday. Me? I’m working from bed.

For those of you who do need a little pick me up, we here at RiotACT Pharmaceuticals have exactly the drug you need!

MONDAY PARKING PHOTOS!

Canberra’s best parkers have sent us pictures of Canberra’s worst, and using the latest pseudo-science techniques we have distilled these into a powerful salve for you to apply to your eyeballs in website form.
Oh mondays.

If you would like to join the elite parkers on Canberra, all you have to do (other than park super well all the time) is take a photo of someone parking terribly and send it to images@the-riotact.com. Make sure to include the word ‘parking’ in your subject and let us know what you’d like to be credited as.


1. Poptop starts us off this week with a wonderful collection of photos and a recommended course of action:

I think this effort has been in place since Friday, I only got a chance to get some snaps this morning. Perhaps responding to poor parking with fire is the answer.

FIRE FLAMES

These three show the apparent response to parking in the large, busy but not overcrowded dirt carpark at the Arboretum on Saturday and discovering you must pay $2 per hour for the privilege; being to take up as much room as humanly possible with your car.

Spacious Roomy Expensive

The last snap is of a reasonably snug culdesac in Isaacs being invaded by people attending an on site household contents auction on Sunday. Way to make friends with your former neighbours.

Friendly

2. Clj is on this car’s case:

This is the second time I have seen this car parked in this courtyard off London Circuit (Waldorf to the left, Public Trustee to the right). The thing that surprises me most is that they can get it up over the kerb – this dear little Daihatsu has the smallest wheels I’ve ever seen.

Tiny wheels!

3. Paul believes he has found the best park of the year in Parkes:

Hi attached is the best park I have seen for the year. I don’t know how he got out of the vehicle as all the doors are blocked!

Parkes

4. Gnaty77 spotted this mysterious park:

I’m still trying to figure out how this driver managed to squeeze in there… A stellar effort, but I think maybe they need to read the riot act more often… This doesn’t look like 1 metre to me!

TALENT!

5. Kerrimik continues our hits:

Despite the ticket machines and car parking spaces, I believe neither are regularly used

parking

6. TP3000 snuck up on this shot:

Good Evening, this gem is taken from the back of Bing Lee Belconnen earlier this afternoon.

Bing Lee

7. Mark gives credit where credit is due:

At least they were in the lines, pity it’s a motorcycle park.

NOT A MOTORBIKE

8. Richard has dug into his archives:

Saw this car back in march parked outside at coombes cl in the ANU.

ONE! TWO

9. Homer J. Fong is giving this driver the benefit of the doubt:

Hopefully just an attempt to squeeze in between two since-departed cars, otherwise a total shocker.

Maybe

10. CanberraNerf took a break from sword fighting to think about us:

Snapped this on Sunday out at Majura Park. I watched them park it (gleefully, thinking about The Riot Act) and there was no reason they couldn’t park properly.

NO REASON

Feeling better? Alright, get to work!

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gungsuperstar9:25 pm 29 Apr 13

Took me all day to get time to look at these… I feel so much better now!

Damn, you’d be filthy if you’re the dude in #4, given it’s highly likely that the red car behind it is being driven by an arsehole – whose car is still in the No Standing zone. Strange tactic by ‘red arsehole’, given that if the object of their selfishness arrives first, there’s a 50% chance he or she will still be there to hurl abuse upon red arseholes return.

Also, 2 bucks a day for the arboretum? No wonder no one Canberra goes to this shit, forcing the Government to come up with ridiculous excuses to justify it that are nothing close to reality.

Finally, #9 gets a “pass” from me – I’ve come to expect so little of Canberra drivers, I’ve come to ignore amateurish parking as long as they’re in their lines.

I sent two photos in, and neither of them made the cut? Damn.

bd84 said :

The ute in #1 was parked there broken down on Thursday arvo. Obviously some ass clown thought it would be funny to torch it.

It looks like the ute that was sitting on the side of Gungaahlin Drive near Kaleen last week. Some goose apparent,y pushed this car into the middle of the road over the weekend & it was moved back & Police tape wrapped around a day later (next time I went past).

Ronald_Coase6:29 pm 29 Apr 13

@innovation, if you’re ever in need of a quick fix, go to jamison markets on Sunday morning. You could get more shots in five minutes than a month full of bad parking Monday’s on RA.

The Arboretum is out in the sticks! $2 an hour there is ludicrous!

Innovation said :

Is it just me or are these parking photos getting less atrocious over time?…

No, it’s just like the frog in warm water – we’re all getting so used to seeing people who can’t be bothered parking legally that we’re no longer shocked by it.

Innovation said :

(assuming that any of these people ever get booked).

In Canberra?! Ha ha ha, you’re very funny!

#5 – I see this all the time at CISAC. Relatively fit and health people going to the gym to exercise can’t be bothered walking an extra 50 meters from a proper legal parking space! (WTF?!?) Obviously way too many arrogant fwits can’t handle the fact that there is not a park reserved for them at the front door. Maybe this behaviour is a side effect of taking steroids, calves liver or dried rhino penis?

Innovation said :

Is it just me or are these parking photos getting less atrocious over time?

That depends of whether or not one can break the law by degrees…

p.s. The grass is looking particularly green at the ANU.

Is it just me or are these parking photos getting less atrocious over time? Could RA’s weekly posts be to blame (I know I’ve reparked my car a couple of times, when the first attempt wasn’t perfect, for fear of ending up here). My main concerns (TIC) would be if parking improves RA will have nothing to post and the ACT will have to look elsewhere for revenue (assuming that any of these people ever get booked).

magiccar9 said :

…Also, $2 per hour to visit the Arboretum? WTF?

Got to pay for it somehow – the cost of it was as much as the [original] budget for the enlarged Cotter Dam.

devils_advocate said :

With numbers 3 and 4, probably the order in which the cars were parked were crucial. With number 3, I can’t see the occupant being able to exit their car without a tin opener (unless they crawled out the winder). Probably the car on the right parked him in after s/he’d exited the car.

With number 4, I doubt it is technically possible to manouevre a car in there, save the drift/spin manoevre, but even then it’s usually with more room than that. More likely explanation is that someone has parked the poor bastard in either front or back.

http://metro.co.uk/2013/03/27/brothers-from-gloucester-break-parallel-parking-record-3561953/

devils_advocate12:14 pm 29 Apr 13

With numbers 3 and 4, probably the order in which the cars were parked were crucial. With number 3, I can’t see the occupant being able to exit their car without a tin opener (unless they crawled out the winder). Probably the car on the right parked him in after s/he’d exited the car.

With number 4, I doubt it is technically possible to manouevre a car in there, save the drift/spin manoevre, but even then it’s usually with more room than that. More likely explanation is that someone has parked the poor bastard in either front or back.

angrymotorist112:00 pm 29 Apr 13

Rollersk8r said :

So now wrecked cars also qualify as badly parked? Gee this section just keeps getting better and better….

Yet you keep reading these posts and continue to whinge about it. Let me guess, public servant with nothing much to do this morning?

Barcham said :

“Now they just let any old park in here!”

Made my day.

The ute in #1 was parked there broken down on Thursday arvo. Obviously some ass clown thought it would be funny to torch it.

#10 appears to be parked properly, any closer they would be in the boot of the car in front. looks more like the parking space hasn’t been marked correctly and is too thin.

Rollersk8r said :

So now wrecked cars also qualify as badly parked? Gee this section just keeps getting better and better….

Did I miss something? Was there an era where the Monday bad parking photos thread was a highly selective and dignified thing?

“Now they just let any old park in here!”

I find this idea rather amusing and am now slightly proud that I’ve somehow brought the tone down in these articles since I took over putting them together.

Anyone else miss the ‘salad days’ of bad parking?

Postalgeek said :

..and it’s ‘scorch’. Ahh, the pendant in me can go have its Monday morning cuppa now.

In my defence I was probably thinking about scotch. 🙂

Postalgeek said :

Ah FFS Now I must go and tip my scorching hot cuppa on myself in shame 🙁

This all comes about because you beat an acknowledged pedant at Spotto.

So now wrecked cars also qualify as badly parked? Gee this section just keeps getting better and better….

You should see the reader numbers it brings in!

(and we’ve always had fun with wrecked cars in this segment)

I don’t see the problem with the Arboretum parks. If there are no lines in the dirt then they can leave any space between each other that they see fit. I would do exactly the same thing in that carpark – sick and tired of the numpties around Canberra who swing their doors open and hit you without a care in the world.
Also, $2 per hour to visit the Arboretum? WTF?

Ah FFS Now I must go and tip my scorching hot cuppa on myself in shame 🙁

..and it’s ‘scorch’. Ahh, the pendant in me can go have its Monday morning cuppa now.

You’ve got a pendant in you?

Spotto #8

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