15 May 2009

School students nationwide invited to write a poem about Canberra

| johnboy
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I’m not sure this is a good idea.

Chief Minister Stanhope has announced that the The Dorothea Mackellar Poetry Awards will include a Centenary Of Canberra section in which students across the country will be invited to write a poem about what they think of their nation’s capital.

    The award is for the best poem ‘telling your story about the nation’s capital and how Canberra tells Australia’s story’.

    Mr Stanhope particularly encouraged ACT students to get involved and to write about their city and what it means to all Australians.

    “The Dorothea Mackellar Poetry Awards consistently attracts more than 11,000 entries from around the country and this is a unique way of engaging school children at this early stage in the lead up to the city’s 100th birthday,” Mr Stanhope said.

We can only hope the local students make the most of the opportunity.

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Oh, no – the one that would have been Mauritius, absolutely!

Clown Killer5:22 pm 21 May 09

I was going to say, when I first met her she lived in Mauritius … but I’m guessing you’re talking about post #46

It had excellent social comment, I thought!

: D

Clown Killer5:17 pm 21 May 09

Granny, a poet I aint … well not a drunk one at any rate

Oh, c’mon! That’s when all the best posts are made!

Clown Killer4:53 pm 21 May 09

Gee, I just read the thread again. All I can say is: I have got to stop posting here when I’ve been up drinking!

Personally I’m torn between Mr Evil’s offering at #8 and astro’s masterpiece of haunting simplicity at #38.

GB – that’s awesome. I used to teach poetry, and that’s EXACTLY the experience I had.

Perhaps some guidance about poetry is needed.

===

“Introduction to Poetry”

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem’s room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author’s name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

[“Introduction to Poetry” by Billy Collins, from The Apple That Astonished Paris. © University of Arkansas Press, 1996. Reprinted without permission, but for a good cause].

Clown Killer10:49 pm 16 May 09

With my most sincerest apologies to Dorothea McKellar:

The love of waterfront and avenue,
Of green and shaded streets,
Of ordered parks and gardens
Is running in your veins.
Strong love of Melbourne trams,
Blue surf and Bondi cigars –
I know but cannot stand it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a fire-burned territory,
A land of sweeping taxes,
Of unkempt public spaces,
Of droughts and water restrictions.
I love her public art,
I love her blue-green lake,
Her speed cameras and her parkways –
The under-funded land for me!

Her stark and empty schools,
All ready for the auction,
The sadly-missed libraries,
The facade of consultation,
Green lawns we have no more
Where weeper hoses once coiled,
An orchestra’s without funding,
And Katie wasting time.

Core of my heart, my territory!
Barr’s pitiless ambition,
Hargreaves – drunk at the wheel
Will we see democracy die –
without opposition to regather,
for incompetence just one cure
a real live opposition,
or no real choice again.

Core of my heart, my territory!
Land of the data centre,
or pick a project of your own
those NIMBYS wont allow it.
Over the thirsty greed,
of self interest and land value,
The filmy veil of greenness
That sickens all free men.

An tax-hearted territory,
An awful, lavish land –
All you who try to love her,
You will not be forgiven –
Though she holds many splendours,
when Stanhope finds a way,
he’ll tax you’re fcuking arse off
My god you’re going to pay.

canberra canberra the capital city
okay for a while, overall pretty sh#tty…

canberra is such a strange place
a bastion for the whole human race
it’s a government town
growing broad not running down
and a good place to get right off your face

There once was a girl called Katie
Who was blown up thanks to a Chief. Min. named Katie
After much hatie
Canberrans installed a new Head ‘Tatie
But now we’ve a nasty Vice Chief Katie.

Clown Killer12:09 pm 16 May 09

Hey, I mightn’t be good, but at least I’m quick!

Oh dear, they’re not getting any better:

A clever young lassie from Holt
Believed she could lead a revolt
She followed the Chief
And caused him some grief
By piercing his heart with a colt

I find myself once more inspired:

There once was a fellow from Woden
Descended from Nicolas Baudin
Exploring Lake Burley
He discovered a girly
But found that her titties were sewed on.

Clown Killer said :

Similarly poetic efforts need to at least be relevant to Canberra.

Or at least in a recognisable rhyme/metre pattern. Was that supposed to be a limerick?

o canberra
o canberra
o, can we go now?

Clown Killer said :

Similarly poetic efforts need to at least be relevant to Canberra.

I once knew a girl from Belconnen
Who to fcuk was something delicious
But I said – the next time I cum
It’ll be up ya bum
Coz that scab on ya cnut look suspicious

Are you related to Matthew Johns?

Clown Killer

What a revolting man you are.

Clown Killer9:39 pm 15 May 09

Similarly poetic efforts need to at least be relevant to Canberra.

I once knew a girl from Belconnen
Who to fcuk was something delicious
But I said – the next time I cum
It’ll be up ya bum
Coz that scab on ya cnut look suspicious

Clown Killer9:38 pm 15 May 09

I would like to apologise in advance for the following post.

A Haiku – Canberra

There are lots of trees
Lots of trees that make us sneeze
Snot pours out my nose

Love the kangaroo
National icon, dog meat
Wreck my f***ing car

The boy stood on the burning deck.
His pockets full of crackers.
Canberra’s the place for fireworks.
To blow off both your knackers.

Hickory Dickory dot, Stanhope is a big C..K

Canberra’s awesome, Canberra rocks,
Pity that the ACT Govt is a bunch of cocks.

Actually, I think BerraBoy penned the ultimate Canberra anthem last week here.

There once was a blog called RiotACT
for Canberra and Canberrans alike
Its keeper is named johnboy
Who moderates stories about bikes
Be warned Canberrans, and know this well
Post off topic, and you will go to hell

Oh Canberra oh so fine
We’ve got a lake that’s filled with slime
Driving around and get lost on the street
You’ll be circling forever, oh what a treat

Everyone’s rich in this government town
And there’s plently of booze n pills going around
And if you don’t believe in me
Just take a look inside Lot 33

There’s hooner-head drivers in sh1tbox cars
But you know that their stereo’s getting five stars
Their cars are for sale – but that’s not the case
The number’s for ringing when you want to race

Everyone here is working for the man
It comes with much stress at times you just can’t stand
At least in the service one knows of the fact
Occasional relief can be found – RiotACT

Ahem…

A chappy from Sydney commented
In Melbourne he’d be misrepresented.
So he took out his pen
Drew New South Wales again,
With Canberra in the bit he’d segmented.

OR MAYBE:

A woman from Melbourne complained
That Sydney’s too far on the train,
So they picked a location
For the capital of the nation,
And henceforth treated it with disdain.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy2:19 pm 15 May 09

I love Canberra
It’s really, really cool
It’s where I live
It has several pools

You can all go into mod if you want to keep being offtopic.

Similarly poetic efforts need to at least be relevant to Canberra.

Oh poop! I missed it. Can we have a synopsis?

^^ LOL! I’m glad I read that before it got deleted. 10 points.

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy1:58 pm 15 May 09

[deleted]

O’er limestone trail
Wandered a lonely lass
Lizzy by name
Her profession quite crass

And should you halt your carriage
To enquire of news
For a tuppence
She’d handle your doodle for you

I wrote this one for Gungahlin Drive:

I love a single lane extension
a land of northern shame
of random driving dangers
of frustration and bloody pain
I love her initial intentions
I love her if dual and free
Her sculptures of terror
Looks like Nothbourne for me

There once was a dope named Stanhope…

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy1:08 pm 15 May 09

And it didn’t even fcking rhyme.

“Poetry is no use whatever.”

ant said :

A poem? What is the use of a poem? Bloody hell.

“The whole notion of usefulness is irrelevant to what are called the fine arts, as it is to many other things, perhaps to most of the things that really matter. We who call ourselves “The West,” now that we’ve stopped calling ourselves Christians, are so imbued with the zeal for usefulness … that we find it difficult to escape from utilitarianism into real life.”

That looks suspiciously like a Poem to me, Thumper. Go back and make some proper Doggerel.

The lake’s not green, it’s brown. Now get THAT to rhyme!

Nah Thumper…I swim in it all the time & I’m perfectly healthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ighghisdo t4gtraj h8935y89

Jim Jones said :

I love a small-town city
A land of concrete plains
Of rugged public servants
And the Tuggeranong Parkway

No, no, no – you’re not thinking like a teenager!

Canbra is a grate and fully sik town,
Its got big rounabouts, the ‘nats, firecracks and sh1t.
You can really be the baddest azz nigga there,
and no judge bitchez will never send you down.

Here we go, looks liek we’ve got one! Bewdy. Nice effort VY.

The trouble with poems is, someone’s got to read them or worse, listen to them.

Now, Jim Jones’ effort is not a poem, it is Doggerel and as such quite entertaining. Can’t we have a Canberra Doggerel competition instead?

VYBerlinaV8_the_one_they_all_copy12:15 pm 15 May 09

Of wankers in the right hand lane
A judge who sets crooks free
I get to whinge and laze around
The Guvvy town for me

I love a small-town city
A land of concrete plains
Of rugged public servants
And the Tuggeranong Parkway

A poem? What is the use of a poem? Bloody hell.

I’m trying to think of something I’d write in a poem about Canberra. All I can think of is how boring and sh1t it is. Would be interesting to see what the kids come out with though.

I’m sure school kids that have been to Canberra have only fond things to say…they bus in, do a whirlwind tour taking in Parliament House, War Memorial, Museum, Mint, etc…maybe stay a night (great opportunity to sneak into the girls/boys rooms) & then bus home. How bad could it be!

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