8 December 2006

Simon and The Boogs respond proactively

| johnboy
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Simon Corbell and his press secretary Monika Boogs are again trying to communicate with the public.

This time they’re celebrating the opening of SupaBarn in the Canberra Centre (or City Centre as Simon appears to be calling it this minute).

Now I realise that those of us who actually have to live with Simon’s creations have been shopping in the moved SupaBarn for weeks (and thanking their lucky stars they didn’t have to do the moving themselves, what a pig of a job) but we can understand that official openings normally follow the real opening by some time, just to make sure nothing embarrassing happens.

Here’s the first thing that caught my attention:

“The relocation of Supabarn represents a proactive response”

Now Simon, Monica, not only has use of the word “proactive” signified a moron for at least a decade now, but (as you obviously don’t know) here’s what it means:

creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened

[New Oxford American Dictionary, which is what’s loaded on my computer]

So you can’t proactively respond, just not possible, even for the illiterate tosspots who throw jargon around in the hope their audience won’t see through to what a fraud they are.

I also quite liked this effort later:

“The 11-storey development includes:
â– 22,200 sq m of office accommodation,
â– 10,370 sq m of shopping, and,
â– 4, 460 sq m of cinemas.

“4, 460 sq m of cinemas” = 1 cinema complex.

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bloody belco cinema has gone downhill in a big way. theere is no ticket counter any more. you have to queue in the popcorn area to procure a ticket. so if you roll up at 1.00 to buy a ticket for ‘the goonies’ 1.45 session the work experience children ask you automaton like if i want anything from the candybar.

i feel like saying ‘yeah, and hang onto it for 45 minutes so i can go and get a coffee and a cheaper coke from woolies downstairs…’.

anyway

i will miss shadows.

Touche Seepi!

But when all’s said and done, to drag out another hoary old chestnut, it’s six of one, half dozen of the other.

At the end of the day, to use the old adage, you are merely splitting hairs.

Hmm, well personally I think the word ‘cinema’ can be used to describe either a single room with a big screen in it, or a single complex with lots of rooms, with screens in each room.

For instance: ‘there are 8 cinemas in the new Dendy complex’, or ‘The new Dendy cinema opens next week’, or even ‘The new Dendy cinemas open next week’ 🙂

At least the press release didn’t feature any of my faves: ‘the old adage’, or ‘at the end of the day’.

I’m proposing an Australia-wide “No ‘at the end of the day’ Day”. Any public figure who uses the term ‘at the end of the day’ must pay a fine to a charity of their choice. Kind of along the lines of Nick Reinbergers ‘swear-jar’ on 666 Canberra.

This way, they’ll have to use their brains, and come up with an alternative to ‘at the end of the day’.

But I digress.

“Cinema” is an archaic and ambiguous usage, no one builds a stand alone projection theatre any more. Mostly when people say “Cinema” they mean a cinema complex, which is how Simon us using it here.

‘Plexes are measure in terms of seats and screens (I worked in the industry for three years).

It’s particularly jarring because retail and office space *IS* measured by the square metre.

Anyway a plex is a plex.

Belconnen is one of the world’s bigger cinemas by square metre because it has a huge and poorly utilised foyer, it’s not a measure of quality, or even profitability (which can largely be measured by the number of staffed tills on the concession stand).

Seats and screens is where it’s at.

Anyway that was a minor gripe compared to the “proactive response” which really banged my buttons.

“4, 460 sq m of cinemas” = 1 cinema complex.

It’s obviously a slow afternoon in Canberra when the best thing one can do is pick apart a press release word-by-word.

From the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

Cinema: a motion-picture theater (singular)

There is more than one cinema, so 4,460 sq m of cinemas seems fine to me.

Boogsie also seems to have a problem with the use of quotation marks and the use of the apostrophe s. Not good enough.

Only a total moron could come up with “proactive response”!

“Proactive” is the most overly used and entirely misunderstood phrase in contemporary use. God knows it is in my job

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