1 April 2009

Sneaky Stanhope gathers the data to stymie graveyard NIMBYS

| johnboy
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Our Chiefly Leader, obviously chuffed with how he lined up the ducks on ‘roo culling (and with good reason), is seeing if he can repeat the trick with the proposal for the much needed new cemetary.

    Community consultation on the proposed southern cemetery commenced this week with a random telephone survey of 1,000 residents, Chief Minister and Minister for Territory and Municipal Services Jon Stanhope said today.

    A community survey is also available online, in ACT public libraries and Canberra Connect Shopfronts.

    The proposal for the cemetery on Mugga Lane was put forward by the ACT Public Cemeteries Authority. Canberra’s only southern cemetery in Woden is expected to reach capacity within ten years.

    Over the past month the ACT Public Cemeteries Authority and ACT Government have invited stakeholders to provide input to the consultation program. Plans are also underway for a series of information sessions, stakeholder meetings, information displays and a letterbox drop to locals.

    Following the first round of consultation a discussion paper will be released for comment.

If you don’t trust the telephone survey to get your opinion across you can take the survey online.

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jessieduck said :

Clown Killer said :

Typing “zombies’ into the Facebook search engine gets you in excess of 500 hits. You can even gift “pet” zombies to your friends.

That’s just lovely! It’s like the “good old days” when people thought giving kids Gollywogs was appropriate! For shame.

I heard that people used to eat golliwogs.

Sounds like a sure sign of zombie tendancies if you ask me.

Clown Killer said :

Typing “zombies’ into the Facebook search engine gets you in excess of 500 hits. You can even gift “pet” zombies to your friends.

That’s just lovely! It’s like the “good old days” when people thought giving kids Gollywogs was appropriate! For shame.

p1 said :

Some googling has shown that the NZIMBY movement has sprung up in other parts of the world previously.

Gosh – who would have thunk it!!!

Clown Killer2:25 pm 02 Apr 09

I also would like to know how to sign up for NZIMBY membership. And do you have a Facebook group?

Typing “zombies’ into the Facebook search engine gets you in excess of 500 hits. You can even gift “pet” zombies to your friends. I particularly likes the tips on surviving the Dawn of the Dead … Facebook – like we really needed another way to waste time at work!

I get it now, thanks BerraBoy68 & chewy14 – someone’s gotta lose out.

Thumper: they’re going to be bloody fast zombies, riding bare-back on all the culled kangaroos.

BerraBoy68 said :

Clown Killer said :

What about zombies on our roads – will the Government have to build additional Z2 transit lanes for vehicles with two or more zombies or will they be able to use the existing T2 lanes?

I was going to propose special buses for our Zombie bretheran too, but I walked through Civic interchange at lunchtime and think ACTION already have it covered.

Hahahaha! No facebook group yet Granny, but a terrific idea 🙂

Clown Killer said :

What about zombies on our roads – will the Government have to build additional Z2 transit lanes for vehicles with two or more zombies or will they be able to use the existing T2 lanes?

I was going to propose special buses for our Zombie bretheran too, but I walked through Civic interchange at lunchtime and think ACTION already have it covered.

Digga,
what about the poor people and animals that have to live near the wind turbines that are powering your home?
Imagine having to live with the noise from those turbines.

I also would like to know how to sign up for NZIMBY membership. And do you have a Facebook group?

damned italics.

Digga said :

I don’t get the others who don’t give a hoot…

We are allowed to have an opposing point of view to you, Digga. Good on you (seriously!) for being passionate about an issue and taking action (I actually like progress and I’m also concerned for the environment), I just don’t particularly think the data centre, new cemetary etc. are bad things. There are also other, and to my mind more pressing, issues in Canberra at the moment than the placement of a data data centre etc.

My bigger issue with your previous post was your saying that you speak on my behalf or that of my family. I get a sinking angry feeling and become quite distrustful whenever I hear people say “speaking on behalf of all Canberran’s” or worse, “I’m sure I speak on behalf of all right-minded people when I say….”. Such comments smack of arrogance and do the speaker no credit at all.

OT: I especially like the idea of a new cemetary in Tuggers.

I’m more than happy to support NZIMBY Deezagood! I’m looking forward to visiting Hume West, full of zombies to accompany the hundreds of industrial estate workers destined for our former grasslands.

I don’t get the others who don’t give a hoot…

peterh: No fire, wood or gas. I have ducted heating and cooling powered from the grid with green energy offset. I do miss a good fireplace though. Emotional attachment, but I’ll get over it.

Zombies will only get the slow, deaf or inattentive children if you bell them; we can regard it as a eugenics program.

BTW NZIMBYism has now been overtaken by the new exciting, UK Sourced acronym BANANAZ [Ban Anything New Anywhere Near Anything especially Zombies]

chewy14 said :

p1 said :

I want to know if the Greens are pushing for the newer suburbs to be “Indoor Zombie Only” suburbs? That needs to be added to the agenda for the next NZIMBY meeting.

The Greens can’t cage my Zombie. He’s a free range Zombie.

hopefully they release bag limits for free range zombies soon. don’t want them frightening my kids…

p1 said :

I want to know if the Greens are pushing for the newer suburbs to be “Indoor Zombie Only” suburbs? That needs to be added to the agenda for the next NZIMBY meeting.

The Greens can’t cage my Zombie. He’s a free range Zombie.

p1 said :

I think anybody who owns a Zombie and doesn’t have it micro-chipped and collared (with a bell) is socially irresponsible, and an example of why ZIS are a must!

I want to know if the Greens are pushing for the newer suburbs to be “Indoor Zombie Only” suburbs? That needs to be added to the agenda for the next NZIMBY meeting.

Good point – if you don’t put a bell on your zombie, then they could go out and eat the native wildlife, as well as the local kiddies. I’m putting a bell on Mr. Shambly when I get home.

I think anybody who owns a Zombie and doesn’t have it micro-chipped and collared (with a bell) is socially irresponsible, and an example of why ZIS are a must!

I want to know if the Greens are pushing for the newer suburbs to be “Indoor Zombie Only” suburbs? That needs to be added to the agenda for the next NZIMBY meeting.

Jim Jones said :

There’s a great movie – called ‘Fido – about a boy who has a pet zombie (played by Billy Connolly). It covers a lot of the issues we’ve been discussing and is well worth watching as a primer for urban zombie management techniques and troubleshooting methods.

I’m seriously impressed that there are these zombie movies out there. I’ll have to have a look for that one, as an admirer of Billy’s work.

There’s a great movie – called ‘Fido – about a boy who has a pet zombie (played by Billy Connolly). It covers a lot of the issues we’ve been discussing and is well worth watching as a primer for urban zombie management techniques and troubleshooting methods.

Whatsup said :

Jim Jones said :

I’d like to be added to the list of people that deezagood doesn’t speak for.

So Jim, do you want Zombies in your backyard ? I think they would be a bit of a pest myself, the smell and groaning noises will be sure to impede on my lifestyle.

If people choose to have a zombie in the backyard, that’s their choice, just restrict it to one per household. They’re not very children friendly either. And get them bloody registered at the government shopfront, okay? I’ve had enough of these feral zombies staggering around without any collar or tags, asking for zombie lib and such. And it will just get bloody worse with this dead person processing centre they are proposing to build.

Oh, and as a word of advice, I restrain Mr. Shambly during the Queen’s Birthday period. He gets a bit frisky with all those hooligans letting of fireworks. With owning a backyard zombie comes zombie responsibility.

johnboy said :

Let’s lower the temperature a little eh Skid?

Noted, getting back in my cage.

Jim Jones said :

I’d like to be added to the list of people that deezagood doesn’t speak for.

So Jim, do you want Zombies in your backyard ? I think they would be a bit of a pest myself, the smell and groaning noises will be sure to impede on my lifestyle.

digga, count me out of your “speaking up for all canberra” campaign. not an election year, and considering the pollution that the snowy hydro is about to inflict on the residents in the snowy region, what with their brand new gas fired turbine plant (imagine seeing that when you are skiing!) and no water…. Oh, and as a person with a pet special interest group, do you have a wood fire, or gas?

Let’s lower the temperature a little eh Skid?

Jim Jones said :

Sorry, that should be ‘that *digga* doesn’t speak for’. Apologies, Deezagood.

That’s okay Jim … I wouldn’t dream of speaking for anybody other than myself … and if appropriately authorised, members of NZIMBY too.

Sorry, that should be ‘that *digga* doesn’t speak for’. Apologies, Deezagood.

I’d like to be added to the list of people that deezagood doesn’t speak for.

Digga, don’t claim you’re speaking up for “all of Canberra”, or any “silent majority”, or trying to save us all from CO2.
You’re speaking for your own interests and those of your pet special interest group, so take that chip off your shoulder and stick it where it fits.

Digga said :

we’re speaking up for all Canberra…

Say what now? I don’t recall authorising you to speak on my behalf, or that of my wife or kids? if there’s one this I can’t stand (well, apart from peadophiles, rapists murderers and cold chips) it’s people I’ve never even heard of that what to speak on my behalf.

In future please say “We’re speaking up for all Canberra, with the notable exception of Berraboy and his family”. Other Rioter’s will have to let you know seperatly if they also want to be excluded from your ramblings, I don’t speak for them.

Hey Digga – does this mean you don’t want to join my new group NZIMBY Inc.(‘No Zombies in My Back Yard’)??

Digga,
Go away, your thread pollution knows no boundaries.

This thread isn’t about the power station, its about Zombie Land Rights.

Steady Eddie: They moved it because it wasn’t financially viable (they’re going with a much larger GFPS in Williamsdale – for your community power) and it was not suitable for the proposed block (it belonged in Industrial and not Broadbacre).

Get over the whole NIMBY thing, we’re speaking up for all Canberra as pollution knows no boundaries and even what’s left will pump out 45,000 cars’ worth of CO2. Go stick your old light bulbs back in.

Observing said :

Zed would pander to the Zombie vote by announcing that “Zed is dead baby”.

Dead instead?

deezagood said :

Oh my goodness … I am soooooooo moving to Gungahlin (no offence intended towards any Tuggers zombies – or their pets – intended).

You’re too late, there is already a home for zombies at Gungahlin, they live in Mitchell.

Anyway I think they should consider keeping Quamby, Belconnen Remand Centre and the one at Symonston open. I believe all zombies have the right to be rehabilitated and enter back into society as normal people. If the new cemetery is built it should be zombie rights compliant. They should open plan living, lcd tvs in their rooms and appropriate recreational facilities, such as a pool.

Not many people know this, but according to this clip (starring Simon Pegg from Shaun of the Dead): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnNIs4YKtZM apparently there is an actual Zombie Killing Training School already located in Canberra.

ungrateful undead

bwahahahaha

p1 said :

“Plans are also underway for a series of information sessions, STAKEHOLDER MEETINGS (my emphasis), information displays and a letterbox drop to locals.”

Who wants to get together a few dozen friends, dress as Zombies, and go to the meeting?

I’d love to, but I don’t want to upset Jessieduck and the other zombie civil libertarians.

Zed would pander to the Zombie vote by announcing that “Zed is dead baby”.

“Plans are also underway for a series of information sessions, STAKEHOLDER MEETINGS (my emphasis), information displays and a letterbox drop to locals.”

Who wants to get together a few dozen friends, dress as Zombies, and go to the meeting?

Next we will see Zombie pride parades down the middle of Northbourne Avenue…

I support this so long as both Zombies are hot.

Who’s the local member and what’s their Zombie policy position?

The labor party always gets a lot of votes from dead people, I assume around 30% are zombies.

Finally, a use for those water update signs

Hate to be accused of being a three post nutbag again, but did anyone notice the glaring error in Johnboy’s post?

“Plans are also underway for a series of information sessions, STAKEHOLDER MEETINGS (my emphasis), information displays and a letterbox drop to locals.”

These are not vampires, you fools.

Furry Jesus said :

Are Zombies more likely to vote for the Greens because of their skin colour and their special cultural affiliation for the practices of recycling and (de)composting?

They’re all big fans of Zed, naturally.

Are Zombies more likely to vote for the Greens because of their skin colour and their special cultural affiliation for the practices of recycling and (de)composting?

I suppose if the cemetery is big enough the Electoral Commission will be looking at electorate boundaries again. Who’s the local member and what’s their Zombie policy position?

No discussion about zombies is complete without a nod to Jonathan the zombie kid and his love for turtles. Zombies care about the environment. Why can’t we?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y

Furry Jesus said :

Still, it would bring a tear to the soft, fleshy, delicious cheeks of the hardest parent to see the little Z’s dancing their hearts and other remnant organs out to YMCA at the school disco.

They’re dancing because they just ate their teacher’s brains, dammit! Its not a good thing to see! And anyway, shambling zombies can only dance to slow tempo songs, like Celine Dion or Mariah Carey ballads, and that surely can’t be a good thing to encourage!

It’s hard to imagine school football coaches trying to deal with their little Z players getting sent off all the time for biting.

Still, it would bring a tear to the soft, fleshy, delicious cheeks of the hardest parent to see the little Z’s dancing their hearts and other remnant organs out to YMCA at the school disco.

Teaching those zombie kids at schools would be a nightmare, the poor teachers.

“Now repeat after me, A is for Apple.”

“Brains?”

“No B is for Brains. A is for Apple.”

“Brains!” *chomp*

Private schools have been full of zombies for years and it never seemed to faze anybody. Why all the hoo-ha about it now?

I know, it’s difficult to strike the right balance, isn’t it? What about when their kids start enrolling in your local school? It’s hard enough getting volunteers to work in the school canteen as it is.

Next we will see Zombie pride parades down the middle of Northbourne Avenue…I don’t know about this. Its not what I was hoping to result from building a new cemetary on the south-side.

Keep Tuggeranong Zombie Minimalist!

Sure, Zombie Rights sounds like a good idea now, but how would you like a zombie family moving to a house next door to you? I mean, how would you like your next door neighbour knocking at your door asking if you have any spare brains for them to eat because they just ran out and the local IGA is shut? Soon after they’ll begin to infect all the neighbourhood with their dirty zombie germs. I say, if you give them an inch, they will take a foot, and maybe the lower part of your leg up to your knee depending on hard they bite.

Can we offer them some other options for use by the dominant culture? Differently animated? People with a new lease on life? Re-living legends?

Granny said :

I agree! As long as we continue this archaic practice of separating the undead from the living, the government will keep building these unholy zombie ghettos.

For true integration to occur, zoning should allow for burial locations to be interspersed throughout suburban housing estates.

Also the term ‘zombie’ is no longer politically correct. They are now ‘people who have been reanimated’.

Come on Granny. we all know that integration is the acceptable face of cultural genocide. Denying the living dead the right to self-determination is just plain wrong. As for that appalling expression you’re wanting to force upon them – what do they prefer to call themselves? Have they ever been consulted? All of you Rioters who’ve railed against the government for its failure to consult are silent on this issue when it comes to the dead. Yes, they smell funny. Yes, their food is strange. Yes, their traditional dress is different to ours and their grasp of spoken English is often rudimentary…but their way of ‘life’ is just as valid as ours.

Some of my best friends are Zombies.

jessieduck said :

poptop said :

It’s the inviting “them” to dinner part I choke on.

A “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” remake with Zombies would be so much better that that Ashton Kutcher/Bernie Mack farce.

“So, Mr Prentice, what do you do for a living?”

BRAAAAAAAAAINS!!!

Will QIC be developing the site for the government – construction of the crematorium and landscaping – in return for permission to construct a multi-storey apartment block (You son of a bitch, you moved the headstones but you didn’t move the bodies!) and rights to car parking revenues? Will Chubb be contracted to develop the cemetery security system? I guess they could hold off demolishing BRC and Quamby to give the dead a place to stay while we wait for the bugs to get ironed out.

Clown Killer said :

I want to know what Stanhope is going to do about Zombie rights! What we need is an Inhuman Rights Act.

isn’t the act labor party?

Granny said :

Also the term ‘zombie’ is no longer politically correct. They are now ‘people who have been reanimated’.

Seconded!

Also, immolation of the pre-reanimated is a completely unacceptable practice which must be challenged immediately.

I agree! As long as we continue this archaic practice of separating the undead from the living, the government will keep building these unholy zombie ghettos.

For true integration to occur, zoning should allow for burial locations to be interspersed throughout suburban housing estates.

Also the term ‘zombie’ is no longer politically correct. They are now ‘people who have been reanimated’.

poptop said :

It’s the inviting “them” to dinner part I choke on.

A “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” remake with Zombies would be so much better that that Ashton Kutcher/Bernie Mack farce.

Clown Killer2:51 pm 01 Apr 09

I want to know what Stanhope is going to do about Zombie rights! What we need is an Inhuman Rights Act.

It’s the inviting “them” to dinner part I choke on.

Integration is key Granny- we can’t go the way of other countries and try to create Zombie Ghettos. That is where all this fear and prejudice stems from- people have this image in their head of 7-12 Zombies walking towards you hungry for your brains. If they are welcomed into the community people will begin to see their real character come out- Mrs Smith the enthusiastic rose gardener, Mr Jones the man who likes to play Santa at the School Christmas Fete, little Jimmy who has a crush on the girl around the corner etc

As a member of the community council I think it is safe to say that the zombies out our way have been remarkably well-integrated into the Gungahlin community.

They may be a bit unhappy that they have to travel so far to work, however, as bits can drop off inconveniently at times. It’s amazing how time spent looking for that missing nose can make one late for a meeting.

jessieduck said :

Can you people even hear yourselves??? I can’t believe how racist you’re being towards Zombies!!! It’s not thier fault they’ve been reanimated- all they did was die and in most cases that wouldn’t even be their fault!
quote]

Yeah, I admit it. I’m racist against zombies. It’s the way I was brought up. I know that I shouldn’t discriminate just because of skin colour (kind of pale putrid green) and just because they are breathingly challenged, but you know, they come into our country illegally and what do they do all day? Just sit around all day drooling and occasionally try to chase you down and gnaw you. How ungrateful. Bloody ungrateful undead.

I think Zombie preparedness just covers up the complete lack of consideration of the creation of ghoul appropriate environments within the ACT.

If you notice the covert entriangling of Parliament House by the two major and the new proposed cemetery, I think things become PRETTY self-evident. Once the Ghoul-Zombie alliance have eaten the brains of our Federal Government, Mr Stanhope will be ready.

Can you people even hear yourselves??? I can’t believe how racist you’re being towards Zombies!!!

If you don’t like it leave!… this life…

Clown Killer2:10 pm 01 Apr 09

Where would I go tomorrow morning for a picture p1?

I thought that zombies were created using a type of fish and a root vegetable. must be pretty interesting to order fish and chips in voodoo country…

If only they put up warning signs, ‘Zombies Crossing’, near cemeteries. Or make them into 40km/hr zones.

I know what I am building and installing later tonight…

Clown Killer said :

it will open up a whole new type of late to work excuse….
“sorry I am late, but i hit a zombie on the way to work…”

Wouldn’t that be: sorry I am late, but I hit a zombie on the way to work … an dthe bloody thing chased me half way around town. I had to go via woden to lose the bugger…

LOL! well put CK.

Furry Jesus said :

Isn’t there a pet semetary at the dog pound in Mugga Lane? All those restless little spirits scratching to get out for a good walkies? Can’t you see it now? Stiff-legged and decaying dogwalkers, arms outstretched, lead dangling from the bony remains of a hand, with a little red-eyed poochie snarling and foaming at the mouth, ambling roadside on their way to Revolve on a saturday morning?

Oh my goodness … I am soooooooo moving to Gungahlin (no offence intended towards any Tuggers zombies – or their pets – intended).

No one should be allowed to smoke in cars.

Equal rights, alright.

jessieduck said :

Can you people even hear yourselves??? I can’t believe how racist you’re being towards Zombies!!! It’s not thier fault they’ve been reanimated- all they did was die and in most cases that wouldn’t even be their fault!

They are not the mindless, unfeeling monsters with a hunger for human brains and flesh that the media portrays them as. If you took some time out of your precious little day to get to know one you would know that!!!!!

God I hate you all.

Jessieduck, as always, you provide the voice of reason and balance amidst the rabble. I am so sorry. I have just read what I wrote and it was really insensitive and highly inappropriate … I guess I have really learned something today. Zombies are (were?) people too. I still don’t think they should be allowed smoke in cars though.

Isn’t there a pet semetary at the dog pound in Mugga Lane? All those restless little spirits scratching to get out for a good walkies? Can’t you see it now? Stiff-legged and decaying dogwalkers, arms outstretched, lead dangling from the bony remains of a hand, with a little red-eyed poochie snarling and foaming at the mouth, ambling roadside on their way to Revolve on a saturday morning?

Clown Killer2:03 pm 01 Apr 09

it will open up a whole new type of late to work excuse….
“sorry I am late, but i hit a zombie on the way to work…”

Wouldn’t that be: sorry I am late, but I hit a zombie on the way to work … an dthe bloody thing chased me half way around town. I had to go via woden to lose the bugger…

How fast would a zombie be able to move it it were on speed?

Oh- they’re all druggies now too- nice.

deezagood said :

One well-compensated farmer versus the severely mentally impaired residents of the Rose cottege residentual treatment facility?

The farmer won’t be well compensated.

Farmers in the ACT are on rural leases. Rural people were overlooked when they changed the way property is acquired and owned in the ACT. So, despite paying for their property in teh usual way, they also have to pay land rent yearly. And their land can be resumed by the government more easily because of this, and the only compensation payable is for “improvements” ie house, sheds, fences etc, not the entire property. Disruption to life, livelihood etc don’t come into it.

If the farmer’s been doing landcare stuff, or fertilizing or undertaking weed control etc, all expensive activities, none of that is compensated. And the improvements that are compensated-for are subject to depreciation calculations also.

I’d like to know if the NRMA will increase premiums for those living near cemetaries, given the expected increase in the number of collisions with zombies, and subsequent rise in claims.

SPEED KILLS – AGAIN

Can you people even hear yourselves??? I can’t believe how racist you’re being towards Zombies!!! It’s not thier fault they’ve been reanimated- all they did was die and in most cases that wouldn’t even be their fault!

They are not the mindless, unfeeling monsters with a hunger for human brains and flesh that the media portrays them as. If you took some time out of your precious little day to get to know one you would know that!!!!!

God I hate you all.

deezagood said :

Postalgeek said :

I’d like to know if the NRMA will increase premiums for those living near cemetaries, given the expected increase in the number of collisions with zombies, and subsequent rise in claims.

All the more reason for world-class, tax-payer funded, state-of-the-art zombie proof fencing.

Deezagood
President
NZIMBY Inc.

it will open up a whole new type of late to work excuse….
“sorry I am late, but i hit a zombie on the way to work…”

Clown Killer said :

What about zombies on our roads – will the Government have to build additional Z2 transit lanes for vehicles with two or more zombies or will they be able to use the existing T2 lanes?

I think zombies shouldn’t be allowed to drive. I know its a harsh stance, but that’s just the way I feel about zombies and driving. I’m a hard-liner on that issue.

Clown Killer1:11 pm 01 Apr 09

What about zombies on our roads – will the Government have to build additional Z2 transit lanes for vehicles with two or more zombies or will they be able to use the existing T2 lanes?

Clown Killer said :

….send more cops…

… send more paramedics.

Clown Killer1:03 pm 01 Apr 09

….send more cops…

Postalgeek said :

I’d like to know if the NRMA will increase premiums for those living near cemetaries, given the expected increase in the number of collisions with zombies, and subsequent rise in claims.

All the more reason for world-class, tax-payer funded, state-of-the-art zombie proof fencing.

Deezagood
President
NZIMBY Inc.

Postalgeek said :

I’d like to know if the NRMA will increase premiums for those living near cemetaries, given the expected increase in the number of collisions with zombies, and subsequent rise in claims.

Yeah, I know. You drive along a major road late at night and there’s a zombie just standing there in the middle. Its a pain. You honk the horn to get them to move but all they do is stare into your headlights and moan ‘Brains…’. If only they put up warning signs, ‘Zombies Crossing’, near cemeteries. Or make them into 40km/hr zones.

I’d like to know if the NRMA will increase premiums for those living near cemetaries, given the expected increase in the number of collisions with zombies, and subsequent rise in claims.

deezagood said :

*laughing very hard*

Although I don’t know about Tuggernong being ‘zombie minimalist’ Observing … have you BEEN to Chisholm shops after dark lately??

could “kill” two birds with one stone – using bodies as a biofuel to power a new “green” power station. don’t get much more biofuel than that. and zombies don’t worry me, i probably wouldn’t notice, being a resident near kambah village and the tavern…

deezagood said :

*laughing very hard*

Although I don’t know about Tuggernong being ‘zombie minimalist’ Observing … have you BEEN to Chisholm shops after dark lately??

Which is not far from the proposed dead person processing centre. Another reason why a ZIS is vital otherwise there will be an undead build up in the area. I hope they include the current zombies in proximity to the new centre in their assessments.

*laughing very hard*

Although I don’t know about Tuggernong being ‘zombie minimalist’ Observing … have you BEEN to Chisholm shops after dark lately??

I take my zombies seriously. Its a looming issue with a new dead person proccessing centre being built in the south.

I like Tuggeranong to be zombie minimalist, apart for Mr. Shambly. He’s okay once you get to know him. Just don’t let him nibble your ear if he asks you politely. Its starts at a nibble then just gets out of hand after that.

Madame Workalot12:10 pm 01 Apr 09

Jim Jones said :

Couldn’t we just introduce laws outlawing zombies? If we make it illegal for them to congregate in groups, that would surely stop it dead in its tracks (boom boom).

Offal thread. Now.

As these frolics go this is both original and surprisingly on topic.

Give yourselves a pat on the back…

Jim Jones said :

Couldn’t we just introduce laws outlawing zombies? If we make it illegal for them to congregate in groups, that would surely stop it dead in its tracks (boom boom).

No zombies smoking in cars either.

p1 said :

I think that a retroactive ZIS needs to be done on all existing cemetaries, since they are already full of potential zombies. Adequate ZPF (Zombie Proof Fencing) should be installed at all sites where a potential 30% zombification of existing corpses would threaten delicate ecosystems.

I agree. I heard that unassessed zombification may have already contributed to the near extinction of the yellow-livered skinless tail skink near Mitchell. Yet the Greens party still does nothing about bring this forward as an issue.

Sorry – ‘Mr Shambly’.

That is another good point P1; I shall be sure to include that in the NZIMBY submission to the government regarding this cemetary. I wonder how much ZPF (zombie proof fencing) will add to the proposal though… and if the government will cough up the extra dollars to keep the residents safe. Let’s face it, not all zombies will be as amiable as Mr Shambles.

Yes johnboy – am seriously off topic. Sorry.

Couldn’t we just introduce laws outlawing zombies? If we make it illegal for them to congregate in groups, that would surely stop it dead in its tracks (boom boom).

I think that a retroactive ZIS needs to be done on all existing cemetaries, since they are already full of potential zombies. Adequate ZPF (Zombie Proof Fencing) should be installed at all sites where a potential 30% zombification of existing corpses would threaten delicate ecosystems.

Zombies also work well as backyard guard dogs. Only drawback is that they are a bit slow on the attack when you spot a burglar and yell “Sick ’em, Mr. Shambly!” (If I get a backyard zombie, I want to call him Mr. Shambly).

I think 30% is very conservative. You have to account for the initial biting of ground staff that will turn them into undead adding to the numbers.

But you are right, they need to build a zombie transformation clinic to get the ratios right. Damn….that means more scoping for an appropriate clinic site and community consultation process.

Observing said :

Personally, I don’t mind zombies in my backyard. As long as they don’t eat my brain or moan too much when I need to sleep. But Isaac and Macarthur residents may be less tolerant. There still needs to be an ZIS done.

Apparently backyard zombies make for some pretty good mulch (good for the vegies).

Observing said :

A 30% outbreak of zombies also makes a lot of moaning and groaning noise, which may exceed allowable noise level limits. There needs to be testing to whether the moaning and scratching on coffin doors with yellowing fingernails will be below legal levels.

Surely not all 30% of buried bodies will become zombies … I guess the people that do the ZIS will need to ascertain data regarding likely zombie transformation ratios so that they can conduct their noise/environmental modelling.

Or if they are bikie zombie hyrids. I do mind that in my backyard.

Personally, I don’t mind zombies in my backyard. As long as they don’t eat my brain or moan too much when I need to sleep. But Isaac and Macarthur residents may be less tolerant. There still needs to be an ZIS done.

A Noisy Noise Annoys An Oyster said :

deezagood said :

The original power station’s gas turbines were a few hundred metres from the Rose Cottege treatment facility for severely impaired residents (who are so severely impaired that they apparently can’t live in suburbia). The consortium’s own noise report stated that the noise of the turbines exceeded the allowable limts for this centre, meaning that the facility would have had to close, or the staff/patients would have been subjected to a constant whining noise all day and night (insert old joke about constant whining of Macarthur NIMBYS here).

OMG! You selfish b’s won that battle, why do you have to infect RA with this poisonous and tedious propaganda again? Perhaps you are feeling guilty about robbibg Canberra of a much-needed facility and feel it necessary to keep repeating the same old crap in the desperate hope it will become more palatable.

Helllooo cranky … I didn’t bring it up.

A 30% outbreak of zombies also makes a lot of moaning and groaning noise, which may exceed allowable noise level limits. There needs to be testing to whether the moaning and scratching on coffin doors with yellowing fingernails will be below legal levels.

A Noisy Noise Annoys An Oyster11:37 am 01 Apr 09

deezagood said :

The original power station’s gas turbines were a few hundred metres from the Rose Cottege treatment facility for severely impaired residents (who are so severely impaired that they apparently can’t live in suburbia). The consortium’s own noise report stated that the noise of the turbines exceeded the allowable limts for this centre, meaning that the facility would have had to close, or the staff/patients would have been subjected to a constant whining noise all day and night (insert old joke about constant whining of Macarthur NIMBYS here).

OMG! You selfish b’s won that battle, why do you have to infect RA with this poisonous and tedious propaganda again? Perhaps you are feeling guilty about robbibg Canberra of a much-needed facility and feel it necessary to keep repeating the same old crap in the desperate hope it will become more palatable.

Observing said :

If they call me, I want to know if they plan to fully release a Zombie Impact Statement (ZIS)! It wasn’t done for the data centre, but it better be done for this.

Even the 30% that will turn into zombies can do a lot of damage – what is the impact on Isaac and Macarthur residents of a 30% outbreak?

God that is a really good point Observing. A large contingent of evil zombies could certainly do some damage in those suburbs and they would frighten the children and pets. I WILL ask for a zombie impact statement (ZIS) at the first community consultation meeting … and perhaps I could start an new group called ‘NZIMBY’; (No Zombies In My Back Yard)

Instead of legless lizards or earless dragons, a small colony of headless corpses might deter further development.

The original power station’s gas turbines were a few hundred metres from the Rose Cottege treatment facility for severely impaired residents (who are so severely impaired that they apparently can’t live in suburbia). The consortium’s own noise report stated that the noise of the turbines exceeded the allowable limts for this centre, meaning that the facility would have had to close, or the staff/patients would have been subjected to a constant whining noise all day and night (insert old joke about constant whining of Macarthur NIMBYS here).

If they call me, I want to know if they plan to fully release a Zombie Impact Statement (ZIS)! It wasn’t done for the data centre, but it better be done for this.

Even the 30% that will turn into zombies can do a lot of damage – what is the impact on Isaac and Macarthur residents of a 30% outbreak?

So are we talking a well-compensated farmer verses poorly-compensated residents of Rose cottage? I wouldn’t know

Surey there shouldn’t be too many zombies if 70% of Canberrans are cremated?

So long as Stanhope has a good zombie management policy in place, they can build the cemetary whereever the hell they want.

Sorry – italics issues in previous post ….

Postalgeek said :

Post #2 – I agree. I doubt the Macarthur/Isaac protesters gave any thought to the farmer who will be required to move out of his home due the relocation.

One well-compensated farmer versus the severely mentally impaired residents of the Rose cottege residentual treatment facility?

Post #2 – I agree. I doubt the Macarthur/Isaac protesters gave any thought to the farmer who will be required to move out of his home due the relocation.

Waste management, flight paths, power, cemetaries: if you expect access to these services, you should be prepared to cop some of it in your backyard. And I mean that for all of Canberra, not just Macarthur/Isaacs.

I just love how the residents constantly get blamed for the government’s/consortium’s inadequacies regarding the power station. Seriously – do some research before calling the so-called NIMBYs ‘moronic’.

I personally have no qualms about a cemetary being located on this land – it complies with the broadacre zoning (the power station didn’t), it would appear that the planning process is open and transparent (the power station’s wasn’t), I presume a full EIS will be conducted at the onset (it wasn’t for the power station), the noise/pollution impact will be within legally endorsed levels (the original power station noise levels exceeded the allowable limits), and the community is obviously being widely consulted/informed BEFORE any decisions are made (unlike the power station situation). I think the great thing here is that perhaps Mr Stanhope’s government has perhaps learned their lesson about community consultation – which can only be a good thing for the future of all Canberra residents. I am sure some people (not just NIMBYS, but people from all over the southern region of Canberra) won’t be happy about losing the horse paddocks/agistment areas and I hope that the government offers some alternative areas to be set aside for that purpose.

Steady Eddie10:48 am 01 Apr 09

Let’s just hope the new cemetery goes ahead and the ACT government completely ignores the selfish, moronic NIMBYs who forced the relocation and downscaling of the much needed power station and data centre.

Clown Killer10:43 am 01 Apr 09

I got the call last night.

It was reasonably comprehensive and seemed to focus on whether or not I supported a new cemetary in southern Canberra, what sort of place it should be (not a lot of choice thre if you’re talking about planting dead people) and whether or not I supported co-location of a cremetorium.

I didn’t get the impression that they were piushing a particular site but there was a question about whether or not I felt Hume would be suitable and offer convenient access for the southern suburbs. I told them that I thought that the former proposed gas fired power station ad data centre site seemed like the most suitable place – seeing as all the background work had been done.

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