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Stanhope to administer Christmas Island

By johnboy 17 August 2012 34

The Canberra Times reports that Canberra’s longest serving Chief Minister, and refugee activist, is going to take the quasi colonial role of administering Christmas Island, home to a major asylum seeker concentration camp.

With Mr Stanhope presumably not seeking career advancement one can expect some pretty major fireworks.

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Stanhope to administer Christmas Island
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HenryBG 10:50 pm 18 Aug 12

Mr Evil said :

Christmas Island = Winning………….and that’s winning as in the Charlie Sheen “I’m-off-my-tree-and-am-a-complete-loser” meaning of the word.

So long as that toss is out of Canberra, then I’m happy.

There’s still the mess he’s left behind to clean up. Obviously that will be partly fixed by the next local election results, but we can’t count on the Libs fixing everything, like the ridiculous bloat of government, the fact our prisoners cost 4 times as much as what it costs to run a normal prison, the fact we have a useless Human Rights Commissioner trying to relevate herself by encouraging assaults on free speech and laws protecting one rather thin-skinned sky-fairy club.

Mr Evil 9:53 pm 18 Aug 12

Christmas Island = Winning………….and that’s winning as in the Charlie Sheen “I’m-off-my-tree-and-am-a-complete-loser” meaning of the word.

So long as that toss is out of Canberra, then I’m happy.

bundah 3:54 pm 18 Aug 12

Well as he has been such a strong advocate for human rights the asylum seekers will no doubt be cheerin’ and welcome him as their messiah!

Masquara 2:44 pm 18 Aug 12

No doubt he will decide that the law courts and justice are just too expensive for Christmas Islanders, a la his David Eastman comments. And are there any fabulous historic buildings on Christmas Island that the locals use, that a little bunch of whining mediocre artists might like “discreet” help with overthrowing any community consensus? Watch out, Christmas Islanders! Any “development potential” and I’m sure the quasi-colonial administrator has uber-overlord-call-in powers and lots of “Snows” ready to do business.

MERC600 2:24 pm 18 Aug 12

Pork Hunt said :

With any luck he’ll catch crabs while he’s there..

Ha haa .. good one

PantsMan 8:58 am 18 Aug 12

Word is that he’s taking around 5,000 ACT public servants with him – who will be housed in a $400 million solar dome – to advise him on human rights and community engagement.

mutley 1:25 am 18 Aug 12

bigfeet said :

All an Administrator need do is stay sober until about halfway through an official lunch on a daily basis.

That’s it.

Just as well they didn’t get Hargreaves or Carnell then.

yellowsnow 11:24 pm 17 Aug 12

He’ll probably also embark on a campaign of school closures, sell off school land to developers, then upon realising there’s actually kids on the island, he’ll blame his bureaucrats for misleading him, and put the kids in demountables on loan from the detention centre, which will be placed next to a pond excavated at great expense from an old asbestos dump – which, miraculously, no one told him about

It’s a wonder someone with so many failures in his CV, not to mention anger management issues and inability to accept responsibility, can get any job let alone a cushy government one like this

yellowsnow 11:12 pm 17 Aug 12

Great idea. Within two years Christmas Island will be associated not with crabs and a detention centre, but government waste.

We’ll have the Christmas Island Arboretum (touted as containing the world’s largest collection of northern hemisphere Christmas trees – all of them dead after the first year), the biggest concentration of public art per capita this side of Pyongyang, and a single lane expressway going from one end of the island that cost more per km of road than any other in Australia. Well, perhaps i exaggerate – the GDE will always be the most expensive.

bigfeet 10:57 pm 17 Aug 12

The job of an Administrator of an External Territory basically involves laying a wreath on Anzac Day, presenting a couple of awards at the local show and officiating at Citizenship Ceremonies on Australia Day.

All an Administrator need do is stay sober until about halfway through an official lunch on a daily basis. That’s it.

justin heywood 10:30 pm 17 Aug 12

The people who appointed him think he’s a lightweight, the slightly comical mayor of a provincial city.

He thinks he’s a heavyweight, a statesman until now denied his rightful place on the world stage.

It will end in tears.

Pandy 9:46 pm 17 Aug 12

Ian said :

Maybe he could take the SIEV X memorial there?

Yes, and install it under where the boat went down.

Jethro 9:23 pm 17 Aug 12

poetix said :

Are you making this up, JB?

It’s just too perfect to be true.

He’ll start off all idealistic, and it’ll turn into Heart of Darkness. The horror…

But you may be able to give wardrobe advice.

I love you Poetix, you burly gym junky you.

JessP 8:25 pm 17 Aug 12

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd said :

Mysteryman said :

Good for him. He’ll be on the wrong side of the Christmas Island fences, but at least he’ll be administrating a place that isn’t prone to *bush* fires.

I’m sure the asylum seekers and CI locals will love all the new art he’s sure to blow money on while there.

lol you beat me to it. Surely his first course of action is to curate some public art to ease the refugees woes.

+1

Ba ha ha Public art disasters and a arboretum for CI!!!

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