17 August 2012

Stanhope to administer Christmas Island

| johnboy
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The Canberra Times reports that Canberra’s longest serving Chief Minister, and refugee activist, is going to take the quasi colonial role of administering Christmas Island, home to a major asylum seeker concentration camp.

With Mr Stanhope presumably not seeking career advancement one can expect some pretty major fireworks.

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Mr Evil said :

Christmas Island = Winning………….and that’s winning as in the Charlie Sheen “I’m-off-my-tree-and-am-a-complete-loser” meaning of the word.

So long as that toss is out of Canberra, then I’m happy.

There’s still the mess he’s left behind to clean up. Obviously that will be partly fixed by the next local election results, but we can’t count on the Libs fixing everything, like the ridiculous bloat of government, the fact our prisoners cost 4 times as much as what it costs to run a normal prison, the fact we have a useless Human Rights Commissioner trying to relevate herself by encouraging assaults on free speech and laws protecting one rather thin-skinned sky-fairy club.

Christmas Island = Winning………….and that’s winning as in the Charlie Sheen “I’m-off-my-tree-and-am-a-complete-loser” meaning of the word.

So long as that toss is out of Canberra, then I’m happy.

Well as he has been such a strong advocate for human rights the asylum seekers will no doubt be cheerin’ and welcome him as their messiah!

No doubt he will decide that the law courts and justice are just too expensive for Christmas Islanders, a la his David Eastman comments. And are there any fabulous historic buildings on Christmas Island that the locals use, that a little bunch of whining mediocre artists might like “discreet” help with overthrowing any community consensus? Watch out, Christmas Islanders! Any “development potential” and I’m sure the quasi-colonial administrator has uber-overlord-call-in powers and lots of “Snows” ready to do business.

Pork Hunt said :

With any luck he’ll catch crabs while he’s there..

Ha haa .. good one

Word is that he’s taking around 5,000 ACT public servants with him – who will be housed in a $400 million solar dome – to advise him on human rights and community engagement.

bigfeet said :

All an Administrator need do is stay sober until about halfway through an official lunch on a daily basis.

That’s it.

Just as well they didn’t get Hargreaves or Carnell then.

He’ll probably also embark on a campaign of school closures, sell off school land to developers, then upon realising there’s actually kids on the island, he’ll blame his bureaucrats for misleading him, and put the kids in demountables on loan from the detention centre, which will be placed next to a pond excavated at great expense from an old asbestos dump – which, miraculously, no one told him about

It’s a wonder someone with so many failures in his CV, not to mention anger management issues and inability to accept responsibility, can get any job let alone a cushy government one like this

Great idea. Within two years Christmas Island will be associated not with crabs and a detention centre, but government waste.

We’ll have the Christmas Island Arboretum (touted as containing the world’s largest collection of northern hemisphere Christmas trees – all of them dead after the first year), the biggest concentration of public art per capita this side of Pyongyang, and a single lane expressway going from one end of the island that cost more per km of road than any other in Australia. Well, perhaps i exaggerate – the GDE will always be the most expensive.

The job of an Administrator of an External Territory basically involves laying a wreath on Anzac Day, presenting a couple of awards at the local show and officiating at Citizenship Ceremonies on Australia Day.

All an Administrator need do is stay sober until about halfway through an official lunch on a daily basis. That’s it.

justin heywood10:30 pm 17 Aug 12

The people who appointed him think he’s a lightweight, the slightly comical mayor of a provincial city.

He thinks he’s a heavyweight, a statesman until now denied his rightful place on the world stage.

It will end in tears.

Ian said :

Maybe he could take the SIEV X memorial there?

Yes, and install it under where the boat went down.

poetix said :

Are you making this up, JB?

It’s just too perfect to be true.

He’ll start off all idealistic, and it’ll turn into Heart of Darkness. The horror…

But you may be able to give wardrobe advice.

I love you Poetix, you burly gym junky you.

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd said :

Mysteryman said :

Good for him. He’ll be on the wrong side of the Christmas Island fences, but at least he’ll be administrating a place that isn’t prone to *bush* fires.

I’m sure the asylum seekers and CI locals will love all the new art he’s sure to blow money on while there.

lol you beat me to it. Surely his first course of action is to curate some public art to ease the refugees woes.

+1

Ba ha ha Public art disasters and a arboretum for CI!!!

cranky said :

May Christmas Island enjoy this megoamaniac.

cranky said :

And that would be meglomaniac.

Lol. Public schooling?

HenryBG said :

Ian said :

Maybe he could take the SIEV X memorial there?

Yes, and expand it to include 600+ more poles on account of the illegal immigrant lives lost at sea since the ALP came to power as a result of them dismantling the Liberal policies that had stemmed the flow.

Stanhope should go ‘administer’ all those watery graves instead.

Left wing ‘compassion’ = real world tragedies.

And that would be meglomaniac.

‘I don’t mind this comment that Mr Stanhope made back in 1998 when the ALP lost the election…history has a way of repeating itself:

“I am determined that the charge of selfishness, complacency and taking the people for granted can never again be brought against the Australian Labor Party in Canberra”.

A comment made by Indi on 4/1/06.

How so little changes. May Christmas Island enjoy this megoamaniac.

Ian said :

Maybe he could take the SIEV X memorial there?

Yes, and expand it to include 600+ more poles on account of the illegal immigrant lives lost at sea since the ALP came to power as a result of them dismantling the Liberal policies that had stemmed the flow.

And I just noticed the fishy tags…
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl

(Or Napoleon on Saint Helena. Take your pick.)

ToastFliesRED said :

cranky said :

Hargreaves would be an excellent batman.

I prefer Adam West or Christian Bale 😉 Hargreaves would be more like Albert I would think

Oh dear, the youth of today.

Please look up what a ‘batman’ was. 🙂

Maybe he could take the SIEV X memorial there?

What a pity he wasn’t sent to Christmas Island on Friday, 19 October 2001 – the day before the election which saw his government assume office. I wonder if there is a summit restaurant on the island he can dine at if a bushfire is threatening?

With any luck he’ll catch crabs while he’s there..

Are you making this up, JB?

It’s just too perfect to be true.

He’ll start off all idealistic, and it’ll turn into Heart of Darkness. The horror…

But you may be able to give wardrobe advice.

Hope the asylum seekers are arboretum fanciers, otherwise The Big Chief will put on one of his famous hissy fits and they’ll wonder why they risked their lives…

Comic_and_Gamer_Nerd4:42 pm 17 Aug 12

Mysteryman said :

Good for him. He’ll be on the wrong side of the Christmas Island fences, but at least he’ll be administrating a place that isn’t prone to *bush* fires.

I’m sure the asylum seekers and CI locals will love all the new art he’s sure to blow money on while there.

lol you beat me to it. Surely his first course of action is to curate some public art to ease the refugees woes.

ToastFliesRED4:38 pm 17 Aug 12

cranky said :

Hargreaves would be an excellent batman.

I prefer Adam West or Christian Bale 😉 Hargreaves would be more like Albert I would think

Mysteryman said :

I’m sure the asylum seekers and CI locals will love all the new art he’s sure to blow money on while there.

Imagine a Christmas Island ala Easter Island with numerous large owls instead (requiring mandatory maintenance once a year of course)

Is he going to claim refugee status? Political exile? I’ve head Ecuador is nice this time of year.

How_Canberran4:17 pm 17 Aug 12

I can picture him now. Wading ashore resplendent in a pith helmet, Bombay bloomers and with a riding crop tucked casually under his arm.

How Canberran

Hargreaves would be an excellent batman.

colourful sydney racing identity3:39 pm 17 Aug 12

Does this give him the quinella? I seem to recall he had that roile on Norfolk Island?

Good for him. He’ll be on the wrong side of the Christmas Island fences, but at least he’ll be administrating a place that isn’t prone to *bush* fires.

I’m sure the asylum seekers and CI locals will love all the new art he’s sure to blow money on while there.

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