25 August 2008

Tess Ryan answers your questions

| johnboy
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[First filed: August 22, 2008 @ 15:26]

Last week we called for questions to put to Tess Ryan, an escort and sew sex worker.

Tess has answered the chosen questions in record time and we therefore present the answers to you below. [Possibly NSFW]

1. What’s the story behind the Web standards compliance stuff? Does she run Linux?

When you design and implement a site using hand written code instead of software like Dreamweaver or Frontpage, there is satisfaction in achieving clean, elegant code and a pure css layout.

It’s guaranteed that if you design a site with clean standard code then it will work in all the browsers except IE. Then you have to hack apart your beautiful code into spaghetti because Microsquash has never bothered updating IE to correctly render standard css.

This image explains it nicely:
http://www.vilain.com/web-design.html

I’m afraid I’m not hardcore enough to run Linux, I’m on a Mac. My geekiness is only about mid-level, so I can grep on the command line but I don’t use Pine or Mutt and I don’t have my head around OOP (yet).

I do have a bit of an issue with Microsquash. Any company whose products are so faulty when delivered to the consumer deserves no respect. Besides, Bill Gates has no style.

So I don’t use any Microsquash products, and I do use and support open source whenever possible.

2. Do you have any advice you would give to other girls considering the work?

Obviously people do tend to think about it carefully before entering the industry, but I would advise contacting your local sex worker organisation for a chat about it as well. There is a list of SWOs on the Scarlet Alliance website (http://www.scarletalliance.org.au/), and the ones that are peer based (have current or past sex workers as their staff) are very good as they can speak from experience and do not judge.

They can provide information about working safely, sexual health and other issues related to working in the industry. They will also be able to provide all the safe sex products and work supplies that aren’t necessarily available in the chemist.

3. How did you get into the industry?

At the time I was working as a waitress, which I found depressing and exhausting. It’s a hard job and people are often dismissive and impolite to waitresses, it left me with a lot of respect for anyone who can do it long term. I was sharing a house with a single mother and she decided to go out to work in Fyshwick. Of course when she got back from her first shift I was burning with curiosity.

I’d often thought of working in the industry, but there’s so many myths and not much information out there. I’d known one girl who had been a sex worker, but I hadn’t asked many questions, and everyone was so nasty to her about it that I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with the stigma for something that might be rather unpleasant.

So my flatmate answered all my questions. Yes, we do use condoms for everything. No, you don’t have to do everything they ask for and if you do extras you charge for them. No, you don’t have to look like a supermodel. Yes, you can refuse clients. All in all it sounded quite civilised and totally unlike my visions of saloons with corseted women draped over poker playing gunslingers. Funny that.

So I went out and did my first shift absolutely terrified, with no idea what to do with a client. Despite the mechanics involved, sex isn’t the main skill you need as a sex worker. I was so nervous that I didn’t do a single job that night. The following night I made more money than I’d make in a week doing waitressing and felt less tired by the end of it so I quit my straight job.

There’s a great deal I could say about those first months, and the years since for that matter, but I suspect that most people wouldn’t believe it and it would sound an awful lot like proselytising. Suffice to say that my experience in the industry and its influence on my life choices has been positive and empowering. I wouldn’t change a thing.

4. What is your typical stereotype client?

There isn’t one. Just as you can’t tell who is a sex worker when you’re walking down the street, you can’t tell who would be a client either.

Clients can be between 18 and 80 (or older). They work as builders and apprentices, lawyers and doctors, salesmen and CEOs. They are police officers and fire fighters and defence personnel. They are young, old, disabled, rich, poor and everything in between.

There is no typical. Someone once asked a similar question, which was: ‘Is there a type of guy that would never visit a sex worker?’ No, I don’t think there is a type. There would no doubt be some individuals who would not for various reasons, there is no ‘type’ who would or would not visit.

5. Do you believe that the current Prostitution Act and associated regulations are appropriate for the Industry? If you could make any changes to the current legislation, what would those changes be?

Overall the ACT Prostitution Act is fairly good, there are some things that I think are unnecessary which comes down to the idea that the industry needs to be tightly regulated. For example the legislation states that you have to use condoms. Workers are using condoms because they have a high level of education around sexual health issues, not because of the legislation. In states where there is no legal requirement for condoms workers are still using them, so what need is there to regulate condom use, and how would they find out and prosecute if two people willingly broke that law? I think the argument that unnecessary and unenforceable legislation detracts from the dignity of the law is particularly relevant in this context.

There is a perception that the industry must be heavily regulated or there will be all sorts of terrible outcomes, even though the evidence suggests otherwise, and that perception is reflected in the ACT legislation.

I could go into detail about the things I’d like to see changed, but that would turn this into a five page article.

6. Pretty Woman, Klute or Belle de Jour?

Good grief, is there any choice here really? I’ve rarely been as impressed with an actress playing a sex worker as I was with Jane Fonda. I remember reading that she spent time with some workers before filming, although I don’t know if that’s true. Donald Sutherland as eye candy didn’t hurt either.

Actually I haven’t seen the BBC’s Belle series but her books were a bit of a pretentious wank, weren’t they? There are far better books out there from industry people, I usually recommend:
— In My Skin – Kate Holden, by an Australian worker in Melbourne. It’s pretty gritty, fabulous and honest.
— There’s a Bear in There – Merridy Eastman, by an actress who receptioned in a brothel in Sydney, it really shows the funny side of the industry.
— Callgirl: Confessions of a Double Life – Jeannette Angell, An American academic who started escorting, it shows that sex work may be very different in America, but it’s the same too.

7. What would constitute a bad day of work? Would a bad day see you upset or distressed at home in your free time, or do you try and clearly delineate things?

Obviously a bad day at work will involve unpleasant experiences with clients, so I’ll talk mostly about that.

Sometimes you see clients have bad manners, who don’t understand you’re running a business and think that they can turn up late and it doesn’t matter, or try to haggle over the rates after they’ve arrived. There are ones who try to go through your drawers when you aren’t looking or ‘souvenir’ something of yours when they leave. Ones who try to argue that because sex workers have low STI rates they feel safe that they won’t catch anything from us and therefore don’t need to use condoms. Never mind that the problem is we don’t want to catch things from them, especially from the ones who don’t like using condoms.

The worst though are the ones who leave you feeling drained. Some don’t speak or react at all, you have no idea how the service progressing from their side and you’re flat out entertaining them with no feedback or interaction. Others go into a monologue for hours on end without drawing breath while you sit there listening attentively and again have no chance to interact. Bookings like that are as dull as dishwater and you just feel exhausted.

A long, tiring day with irritating things happening will have an effect on anyone but there are few things a good book and a long bath won’t fix.

8. Describe a good day.

Seeing interesting clients who have a sense of humour.

People who are relaxed, comfortable in themselves and easy to spend time with are a joy to meet. They aren’t self conscious, nor do you have to worry about tripping over their ego getting into bed. A series of bookings with either regular or new clients like that is a very good day and leaves me feeling energetic and happy.

If clients choose to tell me about their job or some other aspect of their experience I’m unfamiliar with I tend to ask a lot of questions, and get to find out about a lot of things that people don’t usually bother talking about. If a builder is willing to tell me how to tile my shower, or a doctor is willing to explain why skipping a pill can cause ovulation, then I’m all ears.

All knowledge is worth having. There are an infinite number of things other people know and I don’t, so why waste an opportunity?

9. Given that you have more experience with more people than 99% of the population what do you find that most people do “wrong” during sex?

They are too self-conscious.

Sex should be about relaxing and feeling good. A lot of men are too worried about how long they’re having sex for, what positions they should be doing, their penis size, and what they look like. I think porn probably has a lot to do with this. People watch porn and think that’s normal sex. It isn’t normal sex any more than movies are about normal life, it’s just entertainment. It’s about camera angles and positions, and because porn tends to go for a while, the sex takes a lot longer and there is more repetitive pumping than in real life.

Let it go. Real sex is more fun than that. Having a great time for 3 minutes in missionary is ok, and surely preferable to spending thirty minutes going through the Karma Sutra while thinking about taxes so you don’t orgasm too quickly and wondering if your leg is in the right position.

10. Eventually wrinkles will appear, while some things will sag and others stretch. What kind of post-industrial plan do you have?

One thing I’ve learned in the industry is that society is more concerned about looks than individuals are. Age, weight, personality, hair colour, bust size, ass size or whatever, there is always work. There are always clients who think you are just right. Women of all ages (and sizes and other variations) are amazing, interesting, beautiful, sexual and sensual creatures. So are men for that matter. Thank goodness there is just as much variety in people’s taste as there is in people. I know women in their fifties and even sixties who are still working and doing just fine.

I may exit the industry at some stage, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps never, but it won’t be because of age or sagging. There are a number of other jobs I could be doing now for similar money, but they don’t appeal to me much at this time. The movie ‘Office Space’ pretty well sums up my views on straight jobs. No offence meant to the people in straight jobs of course. 😉

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A sex worker is about her being your own person, not relying on a man, also if a professional woman has not reached the top of her profession at age twenty six, she never will break the glass ceiling, a sex worker will, most women are under paid compaired to a man doing the same job

But we all love a good re-animation…

Peachy said :

I’m new to the forum so please bear with me if my opinions aren’t very coherent yet (any advice is welcome):

Apart from the fact that I need to pay attention to dates and realise that this thread has been dead for a month…oops! 😛

I’m new to the forum so please bear with me if my opinions aren’t very coherent yet (any advice is welcome):

As a female that loves sex with many partners, I’ve been interested in prostitution for a long time. Getting paid to do what I love seems to be the next logical step.

Firstly – Thank you Tess for answering many questions that I wanted to ask you after stumbling across your website a few months ago. Also thank you for doing it in such a public forum and allowing it to generate debate.

Secondly – There seems to be this belief that by talking about sex work, you’ll convince women who would never consider joining the industry to join because it just sounds so good! Not many women I know would consider doing sex work for various reasons (yes I have asked them). The ones that have considered it have arrived to that thought by themselves, because of who they are and the fact that they enjoy sex.

In fact, the debate over why women become sex workers seems to miss one integral notion: That these women do it because they enjoy it. While the money is great compared to other jobs (hours worked vs. pay) not many women would willingly go into this career unless they enjoyed sex. When you consider this, it no longer becomes an issue about being an item, bought or sold. If they are happy doing it, and they feel empowered by the fact that they can do something they love as a career then who are we to judge? In any other career, if someone we know was unhappy, we’d tell them ‘change to something you enjoy, follow your bliss’. Why should sex work be treated differently?

Thirdly – In regards to the comment about prostitution breaking up a marriage. I used to also be concerned about the concept of being ‘the other woman’ until I read a blog by a former prostitute the other day. She made the point that many of the men she sees love their wives and their kids and have sex with their wives, but sometimes search for sex that’s a bit different. Rather than leaving their wives or starting an affair which is much more likely to put their marriage in jeopardy, they seek a professional who won’t interfere with their personal life. You may or may not agree with this concept, but it is a different viewpoint to think about.

Fourthly – There was a comment in the thread (couldn’t find it for the life of me) about Tess Ryan have done well by not getting an STI yet. I spend a lot of my time on adult chat sites (due to my aforementioned love of hot sex). It terrifies me how many men and women don’t use protection. I have been asked by many guys to do away with it and several of them told me that they never use protection and that they’ve never been tested, often because they are sure that they’d know if their partner had something.

There seems to be this belief that sex workers are somehow dirty and disease ridden. In fact, as Tess said, they are much better educated about safe sex and take it very seriously. Danger from STI’s is more likely from that random you pick up at the club while too drunk to work a condom. Take a look at Tess’s site and count how many times she makes a point that safe sex is not negotiable and then say again, sarcastically, how ‘clever’ she is for not getting an STI.

Deb Foskey was free to do so and in fact did for a very long time. People were justifiably concerned that she was taking up a valuable public housing slot when she was in fact not at all in need of it. She made a political decision, not a feminist one.

The fact that there are single teenage mums with 6 kids is an indication that they are free to choose their lifestyle. This is an unfortunate situation and it is often to the detriment of the children. For the most part our social security system and society is there to provide some measure of support.

I don’t think comparing the suffragettes and the right to vote to prostitutes and women’s equality is an accurate comparison either.

No one is suggesting male-led feminism. People are suggesting that feminism based on personal moral objections isn’t feminism at all – it is more a case of one person trying to press their moral values on another.

And on the male led feminism – what a great plan.
If only the suffragettes had thought of that, women would have got the vote much sooner.

Who should we get on board – DJ, who thinks 80% of women are incompetent at work? Or JB who thinks if only women improved their negotiation skills and gave up having babies things would all fall into place? Or just one of the many guys who feel that a woman’s right to choose prostitution is paramount?

Free to choose, but without hurting anyone else in the process.

I still think it’s a stupid phrase.

If you want legality:

Why wasn’t Deb Foskey ‘free to choose’ to stay in her govvie house?

Why aren’t single teenage mums of 6 kids ‘free to choose’ their lifestyle?

Is anything legal a woman chooses to do an example of modern feminism?

p1 said :

I do love the fact that the website question headlines before any of the “adult” related ones.

To be honest – I looked at it as an ice-breaker.

sepi said :

It is a stupid phrase – why is Tess ‘free to choose prostitution’ but Ivan Milat not free to choose murder????

/facepalm

I’m only responsible for the last one, the first four were supposed to be italicised. I suspect WordPress automagically closed my tag for me at the first CRLF.

fnaah said :

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing Microsoft user for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort who uses Microsoft for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a milling whale escort who uses Microsoft for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to escort a willing Microsoft whale to induct a similar counterview? Very interesting to pamper and contrast convectives.

(I’m glad I’m not the only one who was thinking Chinese whispers. :D)

just a shame it is all in one post – that would get the gong for 5-post nutbag, otherwise!

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing Microsoft user for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort who uses Microsoft for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a milling whale escort who uses Microsoft for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to escort a willing Microsoft whale to induct a similar counterview? Very interesting to pamper and contrast convectives.

(I’m glad I’m not the only one who was thinking Chinese whispers. :D)

This thread has shown me that people in the escort business have a lot in common with me. They hate microsoft’s “products”.

I do love the fact that the website question headlines before any of the “adult” related ones. Makes me wonder if that is the most demeaning and degrading part of Tess’s job.

Suggestion for out-of-context tag line…

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort…?

Loquaciousness said :

Aurelius said :

deezagood said :

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing Microsoft user for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort who uses Microsoft for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a milling whale escort who uses Microsoft for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

sepi said :

What I’m saying is my opinion and nothing more. I’m not claiming to speak on behalf of feminists, or to tell anyone else what to think. Just like I don’t appreciate being told how to think.

No one is telling you how to think. We’re telling you how we think.

How come my personal brand of feminism is all wrong, yet anyone else’s is fine (including most men’s opinions?).

No one is saying you are all wrong. You are simply being disagreed with. You are as entitled to your opinion as we are ours. We are as entitled to pick apart your position as you are ours.

Cameron – I keep saying that I’m not in fact in favour of women’s freedom to choose whatever they want, and especially the freedom to choose a life of prostitution. You keep insisting I’m all for women’s right to choose – I keep telling you I’m not.

Amazing. So your position basically boils down to this. A woman is doing her bit for the cause by conducting her life in a manner that YOU (as opposed to SOCIETY) defines as morally and socially responsible.

I’m in favour of equality. I feel that prostitution discourages the move towards true equality. That is my position – it is pretty basic, and noone has convinced me otherwise.

If you think that the existence of female prostitutes is creating issues in the way that females are perceived, well perhaps you are stuck in the past and are more a part of the problem than the solution.

It’s already been said, both by me in your first comparison and by others in response to your Milat example – but prostitution is LEGAL. It is therefore within anybody’s right to choose to be a prostitute. MURDERING is not legal. Therefore anyone who chooses to do it is breaking the law.

Must we keep comparing Tess Ryan’s choice to be a prostitute to such stupid things?

Loquaciousness10:31 am 26 Aug 08

Aurelius said :

deezagood said :

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing Microsoft user for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort who uses Microsoft for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Loquaciousness10:27 am 26 Aug 08

sepi said :

I believe strongly in women’s equality.
[snip]
I especially don’t like being lectured by men, on what makes a good feminist.

How very odd. Apparently, women are more ‘equal’ than men. I know quite a few feminists. A good portion of them also happen to be male.

captainwhorebags said :

In my (male) opinion, feminism will only succeed if it is a shared journey of both sexes. I believe that men can be Feminists and support the cause yet some feminists still insist that it is a battle where one gender has to win, and the other lose.

Someone give that man a hand. Well said CWB!

L

deezagood said :

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing Microsoft user for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

captainwhorebags9:55 am 26 Aug 08

How come a man’s view on feminism is rejected or somehow inferior because of his gender?

In my (male) opinion, feminism will only succeed if it is a shared journey of both sexes. I believe that men can be Feminists and support the cause yet some feminists still insist that it is a battle where one gender has to win, and the other lose.

deezagood said :

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Yeah, what was the name of that male escort that was in the Canberra media spotlight for all the wrong reasons recently???

I bet that’d be a revealing interview!

And as far as I’m concerned women can have all the rights in the world – after they’ve cooked dinner AND done the dishes! 😉

johnboy said :

sepi said :

Free to choose is everyone else’s phrase, that I have not used or agreed with once.

Why do people keep throwing it at me?

It is a stupid phrase – why is Tess ‘free to choose prostitution’ but Ivan Milat not free to choose murder????

Before I hit this over the fence does anyone else want a go?

Tess is free to choose prostitution, as currently, it is a legal profession. Ivan Milat (really off base comparison) cannot choose murder, as it is an illegal profession.

At the same time, women have the right to choose whether they can:

– get married
– have kids
– be in a relationship
– stay single
– provide an income
– not provide an income
– collect welfare
– refuse welfare payouts
– fight for women’s rights
– don’t give a damn about women’s rights
etc, etc.

as a man, I fully accept their choice. It is theirs to make, as long as it is a lawful choice.

if it is an unlawful choice, then I, as a member of society and governed by the laws of this country must oppose their choice. And that is applied to men and women equally.

sepi said :

Free to choose is everyone else’s phrase, that I have not used or agreed with once.

Why do people keep throwing it at me?

It is a stupid phrase – why is Tess ‘free to choose prostitution’ but Ivan Milat not free to choose murder????

Before I hit this over the fence does anyone else want a go?

mdme workalot8:58 am 26 Aug 08

@ns – exactly what I was going to say! Thank you…

Free to choose is everyone else’s phrase, that I have not used or agreed with once.

Why do people keep throwing it at me?

It is a stupid phrase – why is Tess ‘free to choose prostitution’ but Ivan Milat not free to choose murder????

So free to choose, but not to discuss?

What I’m saying is my opinion and nothing more. I’m not claiming to speak on behalf of feminists, or to tell anyone else what to think. Just like I don’t appreciate being told how to think. How come my personal brand of feminism is all wrong, yet anyone else’s is fine (including most men’s opinions?).

Cameron – I keep saying that I’m not in fact in favour of women’s freedom to choose whatever they want, and especially the freedom to choose a life of prostitution. You keep insisting I’m all for women’s right to choose – I keep telling you I’m not.

I’m in favour of equality. I feel that prostitution discourages the move towards true equality. That is my position – it is pretty basic, and noone has convinced me otherwise.

Oh, and I meant to thank Tess for such a great, eye-opening article.

JB – would love to see more of these types of interviews with people who have had such different life experiences.

I usually can’t be bothered posting, but good grief sepi, it’s people like you that give the rest of us feminists a bad name. I especially don’t like being lectured by other women on what makes a “good” feminist. It’s this inflexibility that makes so many young women these days shy away from the women’s movement.

Feminism isn’t stagnant – it’s going to change and evolve with the times. A few decades ago I imagine the goal was to get a female politician. Now the goal’s to get a female PM.

+2 deezagood. Spot on.

I would also venture a suggestion sepi that the reason there is a lower number of male prostitutes is simple supply and demand and absolutely nothing to do with women’s equality. Clearly men are easy so there’s no need to usually have to pay one for “services” 🙂

illyria said :

How many of you knew about Tess Ryan and her services last month?

More importantly, how many RiotACT-ers used her services this month?

illyria said :

How many of you knew about Tess Ryan and her services last month?
So much free advertising.
The girl is a genius.

Certainly is – first she starts a scooter club for girls, then encourages someone on RiotAct to Google her real name, which finds her cleverly handcrafted website with its strategically placed browser disclaimer to attract Johnboy’s curiosity. Then she encourages debate on the RiotAct before suggesting an email interview.

Much easier just to put an ad in the paper.

sepi said :

I believe strongly in women’s equality.

Of late, this seems to be taken to mean ‘women can do whatever they want and good on them’.

I do not believe that if individual women choose to become prostitutes, take up pole dancing, neglect their kids, kill people, etc, that this in any way advances the feminist cause. It may advance that particular woman’s cause, or bring her greater wealth. That doesn’t make it a feminist action.

Do you see Ainslie Mother as a feminist, for doing her own thing?

In the same way that I don’t believe that Todd Carney’s antics, which he would see as ‘just being himself’ are in any way advancing the male cause.

I especially don’t like being lectured by men, on what makes a good feminist.

The difference between Tess Ryan and your other two examples is that the choice Tess as made is LEGAL. Ainslie mother isn’t a feminist, she’s a criminal. Todd Carney isn’t advancing the male cause, he pissed on someone without their consent. I don’t think you’ll find anybody seriously advocating the rights of males to piss on whomever they please without their consent.

Whilst you support her right to make a choice, you don’t like the choice she has made. Seems to me that you have a moral problem with it. That’s fine – you don’t think it’s right, then so be it.

To say that Tess Ryan and others like her are making life difficult for women everywhere, well, that’s completely ridiculous and you’ve yet to make a point that comes close to rationalising your position.

I don’t presume to lecture a female on being a good feminist, but I find it incredibly amusing that a female who seemingly claims to be a feminist has such a problem with another female exercising her rights.

Incredible.

sepi said :

I believe strongly in women’s equality.

Congrats. Does anyone here seriously not believe in equality of the sexes?

I do not believe that if individual women choose to become prostitutes, take up pole dancing, neglect their kids, kill people, etc, that this in any way advances the feminist cause. It may advance that particular woman’s cause, or bring her greater wealth. That doesn’t make it a feminist action.

Do you see Ainslie Mother as a feminist, for doing her own thing?

In the same way that I don’t believe that Todd Carney’s antics, which he would see as ‘just being himself’ are in any way advancing the male cause.

It must be incredibly tiring viewing the whole world as an ideological battleground.

I especially don’t like being lectured by men, on what makes a good feminist.

How enlightened of you. So much for equality, huh?

I believe strongly in women’s equality.

Of late, this seems to be taken to mean ‘women can do whatever they want and good on them’.

I do not believe that if individual women choose to become prostitutes, take up pole dancing, neglect their kids, kill people, etc, that this in any way advances the feminist cause. It may advance that particular woman’s cause, or bring her greater wealth. That doesn’t make it a feminist action.

Do you see Ainslie Mother as a feminist, for doing her own thing?

In the same way that I don’t believe that Todd Carney’s antics, which he would see as ‘just being himself’ are in any way advancing the male cause.

I especially don’t like being lectured by men, on what makes a good feminist.

sepi said :

Even more ironic that so many men seem to have such strong ideas of what makes a good feminist.

Are believing in women’s equality/right to choose not feminist values?

Do you think that preventing women from exercising those rights is the true feminist cause?

Loquaciousness9:33 pm 25 Aug 08

deezagood said :

Good grief. I am a feminist (in fact, I am undertaking research on one particular aspect of women’s rights); I believe in a woman’s rights to choose. To choose to work, not work, have kids, remain childless, compete, opt out, marry, not marry and so on. Tess is obviously clever and must have numerous professional choices (she leaves our IT guys for dead!). She chooses her current profession – her choice. She wasn’t forced down this road (like many others) and she clearly enjoys what she does for a living. She isn’t hurting anybody – quite the opposite in fact … I’m thinking that the men who visit Tess probably feel pretty damned good!! The men who access her services also make their own choices, and if they are married etc… and are surreptitiously ‘hurting’ their wives, families etc… that is their own choice – this is not the responsibility of Tess and others in her profession.

+1 deezagood.

Even more ironic that so many men seem to have such strong ideas of what makes a good feminist.

deezagood said :

Good grief. I am a feminist (in fact, I am undertaking research on one particular aspect of women’s rights); I believe in a woman’s rights to choose. To choose to work, not work, have kids, remain childless, compete, opt out, marry, not marry and so on. Tess is obviously clever and must have numerous professional choices (she leaves our IT guys for dead!). She chooses her current profession – her choice. She wasn’t forced down this road (like many others) and she clearly enjoys what she does for a living. She isn’t hurting anybody – quite the opposite in fact … I’m thinking that the men who visit Tess probably feel pretty damned good!! The men who access her services also make their own choices, and if they are married etc… and are surreptitiously ‘hurting’ their wives, families etc… that is their own choice – this is not the responsibility of Tess and others in her profession.

Thank god, a feminist who actually believes in women’s equality and women’s right to choose.
It is ironic that most feminists seem to want to stop women choosing and instead impose their own values and opinions.

Johnboy – can you please try to find a willing male escort for a similar interview? Very interesting to compare and contrast perspectives.

Good grief. I am a feminist (in fact, I am undertaking research on one particular aspect of women’s rights); I believe in a woman’s rights to choose. To choose to work, not work, have kids, remain childless, compete, opt out, marry, not marry and so on. Tess is obviously clever and must have numerous professional choices (she leaves our IT guys for dead!). She chooses her current profession – her choice. She wasn’t forced down this road (like many others) and she clearly enjoys what she does for a living. She isn’t hurting anybody – quite the opposite in fact … I’m thinking that the men who visit Tess probably feel pretty damned good!! The men who access her services also make their own choices, and if they are married etc… and are surreptitiously ‘hurting’ their wives, families etc… that is their own choice – this is not the responsibility of Tess and others in her profession.

Julius Constantius said :

Is lube tax-deductible?

From what i understand lingerie and condoms are tax deductible – i read it in the paper a while back.

(i will stand corrected if someone knows more about it than me)

stirred408 said :

Hi “The Brad”

Yes – I think Tess’ choice of occupation is abhorrent. I am not saying that prostitution will disappear, i just find the lifestyle, disrespect of the clients to their families (those who have partners etc), disrespect of the prostitute for their body and for the nature of sex – i find it all really ugly.

I bet you are one of those disgusting snobs who goes restaurants in Manuka or Kingston where students get paid $11/hr. You make a mess, are impatient and don’t give a good tip (if any). You take the moral high ground though, you are perfectly virtuous. I also bet you smoke and you’re second hand smoke fills my lungs every time I walk past you puffing your life away outside the shopping centres.

I don’t want to say whether or not prostitution is right or wrong, I have no opinion. I do however know there is plenty of other stuff that is legal that is far more harmful to out community.

How many of you knew about Tess Ryan and her services last month?

So much free advertising.

The girl is a genius.

good grief. The rioters do not like to hear an opinion other than the dominant one.

I think it’s more of a case of you being unprepared to argue your position against a majority.

This place is a debate stirred408 – if you want to present your position, you’d better be prepared to be disagreed with, and to argue your point. If not, see you…

good grief. The rioters do not like to hear an opinion other than the dominant one. Anyway cheers to Jess and Tess. Congratulations Jess for being a women in her mid 20’s who anchors a news program. And good luck Tess – who so far seems to have avoided any nasty venerial diseases. I wish both of you the best of luck in the future.

Holden Caulfield5:29 pm 25 Aug 08

You’d reckon all these people taking offence to the Jessica Good thread would at least have the courtesy to spell her name correctly. Nah, too busy carrying on like a pork chop to let any sort of basic respect get in the way of a good tantrum, haha.

I’m also quite amazed to see that so many complainants in this thread live only within the RiotACT community. Clearly they’ve never ventured beyond this website if they think either the Jessica Good or Tess Ryan articles are the sole examples of whatever it is they’re trying to complain about.

And as for stirred408’s blatantly blinkered view of anything in this thread that is in contrast to his/her views, he/she has clearly not read the part where Tess discussed that she did work a straight job and found that less rewarding than turning tricks. As for his/her moral crusade to save the dignity of Tess’ parents, maybe it’s best if you take the approach that it’s better to be thought a fool than to post such inane uneducated ramblings and remove all doubt.

sepi said :

There are a small number of male prostitutes (serving women).

There are a small number of female politicians, and we have never had a female PM.

Not my idea of equality in either case.

And if women’s work is judged soley on its merits, then why are less 20% of women in uppper management?

Blah blah blah. Go bang your head on the glass ceiling.

Perhaps, and I am no expert, if you judge soley on merits, some women don’t come up to scratch?

Julius Constantius said :

Good interview – Makes me want to join the industry. I was wondering are there apprenticeship, traineeships or on the job training available through any avenue? Is lube tax-deductible? I wish I had some of my questions answered but overall great interview.

Lube and other contraceptive materials are tax deductible. As are things like costumes and bed linen. The costs of maintaining the premises would also be deductibles but only so much as they are there for the purposes of business. i.e. 70%

Julius Constantius said :

………..catfight????

Yeah Julius… coz there aint enough female degradation here already 🙂

Julius Constantius5:07 pm 25 Aug 08

sepi said :

There’s always someone worse off.

I feel sorry for those who have no choices outside prostitution.

I guess I can’t help feeling that someone like Tess is letting the (female) side down a bit, seeing as she clearly does have other options.

As long as women are for sale, or reduced to their body parts, I feel like this makes it harder for mainstream women to be taken seriously at work, in positions of power and in politics.

………..catfight????

I found this post to be extremely interesting. A real eye opener for a young woman whose only knowledge of this industry is somewhat similar to Tess’ first thoughts before becoming more aware (women hanging round a saloon). Thanks Tess for your insight.
I would also love to see an interview with a male escort (I didn’t think we had any in Canberra, but then again, I’m pretty sheltered when it comes to this sort of topic).

Stirred: If you find some of the posts so repulsive then why do your read them ?

Was going to say child-birth and poor negotiation are larger culprits than prostitution.

And do you want to argue incomes with a woman pulling down $200 an hour?

Julius Constantius4:39 pm 25 Aug 08

Good interview – Makes me want to join the industry. I was wondering are there apprenticeship, traineeships or on the job training available through any avenue? Is lube tax-deductible? I wish I had some of my questions answered but overall great interview.

Loquaciousness4:35 pm 25 Aug 08

Granny said :

We do need to be grateful for what we have, but also realise that women are often not being paid the same for doing the same work. So there is definitely a lack of respect in a society that allows this to happen.

Absolutely. And there are many other inequalities too. This is why the feminist movement still exists. That said, it’s lovely to note the progress that has been made.

L

Tess Ryan and her profession have nothing to do with those problems, sepi.

There are a small number of male prostitutes (serving women).

There are a small number of female politicians, and we have never had a female PM.

Not my idea of equality in either case.

And if women’s work is judged soley on its merits, then why are less 20% of women in uppper management?

Loquaciousness said :

Indeed. The fact that she has chosen her lot in life and can stand up and discuss it without fear of retribution is a luxury many women still don’t have. The fact that those here treated her as a person (as opposed to a sexual object, or a subject of ridicule) speaks volumes about how far the feminist movement has come.

A young friend recently returned from Afghanistan. She told of how one woman had her throat slit in front of her family because she was heard laughing within her home, and how amazed the women were that only one woman in every five in Australia gets beaten. They couldn’t believe such a place existed.

We do need to be grateful for what we have, but also realise that women are often not being paid the same for doing the same work. So there is definitely a lack of respect in a society that allows this to happen.

sepi said :

As long as women are for sale, or reduced to their body parts, I feel like this makes it harder for mainstream women to be taken seriously at work, in positions of power and in politics.

There are male prostitutes, you know.

There have been many women who have written books and gone out and profited out of prostitution – just like Tess has done. You know, try to bring it into the mainstream. Showed the humane side etc.. I just don’t think its all that praiseworthy!

To be honest, i find the comments on Jessica Goodes clothing repulsive. If you’re a women why would you ever want to be a respectable public figure when people talk about your breasts, your looks, make comments about what your former boyfriend said about you in bed.

It is easy for Tess to be respected because she is not trying to be respected.

No one makes comments about what Zeds former girlfriend said about him in bed. There was also a horrible headline on the riot act about Jacqui Burke not long ago. I don’t like Burke, but I thought the post was unnecessary.

As long as women are for sale, or reduced to their body parts, I feel like this makes it harder for mainstream women to be taken seriously at work, in positions of power and in politics.

You’re implying that because one woman or some women are for sale, men think all women are for sale.

Granted, I’m sure that there are some people (and not just men) who think that way, but I believe Tess has done a very good job of de-objectifying herself, at least to the readers of this site. That, in itself, is worth congratulating.

captainwhorebags3:48 pm 25 Aug 08

I don’t recall anything in the RiotACT about pages that claims this site has to present a balanced view or mix of articles. It’s a site that presents editor and user submitted stories, opinions or news with anyone able to comment, provided they register an account.

Sepi, if you don’t like the content balance, feel free to tip the scales in the “other” direction (whatever that may be) by submitting stories yourself. We (the readership) all have the same power here.

The editors and admins on the other hand, have godlike abilities to shape the content of the site, and only frequent offerings of beer will placate them.

She’s not ‘letting down’ an entire gender.
She’s not for sale, sale would imply once you pay she stays bought.
She’s more than bodyparts, as she does actually make a mention of there being more to it than just sex.

How exactly does she make it harder for the women working as Marketing\Sales\Accounting\Marine Biology\Office of the Deputy PM to be taken seriously?

If they’re any good at their job their work should stand for itself.

Loquaciousness3:37 pm 25 Aug 08

Granny said :

Maybe not her feminism; but better than being ‘owned’ by the mafia or bikies, or doing it because you have no other way to support an addiction, or because you have been trafficked into slavery, or there is no social welfare etc. etc. etc.

Indeed. The fact that she has chosen her lot in life and can stand up and discuss it without fear of retribution is a luxury many women still don’t have. The fact that those here treated her as a person (as opposed to a sexual object, or a subject of ridicule) speaks volumes about how far the feminist movement has come.

sepi said :

As long as women are for sale, or reduced to their body parts, I feel like this makes it harder for mainstream women to be taken seriously at work, in positions of power and in politics.

Perhaps. But I think that’s the perspective of the person doing the assessment – not the woman herself. For example – a person (regardless of gender) might view prostitution as ugly, sinful, reprehensible (pick your adjective). This same person may view all women, simply by virtue of their gender, as similarly ugly/sinful/reprehensible, but then again, they may not. My own personal dreams of equality are about when a person can be viewed and judged solely on their merits as a human being – not on the basis of their gender, their profession, or any other nominal measure.

I’m not going to say that people don’t exist that see women as naturally dirty or sinful creatures simply because the sex industry exists, but I like to think that they are in the minority.

To bring the comment back to Tess Ryan – she stood up and spoke about a taboo subject without fear of retribution, that’s empowering. She did so, and was received eloquently and politely, that’s worth applauding.

L

sepi said :

No men reduced to their body parts to be seen on this website is what I meant.

Peter – I never said you piss on people?

well I don’t think I have, at least not on purpose….

maybe we need JB to interview a male sex worker for a balanced discussion?

> No men reduced to their body parts to be seen on this website is what I meant.

So it’s how women are portrayed on this website that makes it harder for mainstream women to be taken seriously at work, in positions of power and in politics?

I’m sure there’s been a post about how Zed was good looking.

stirred408 said :

Hi “The Brad”

Yes – I think Tess’ choice of occupation is abhorrent. I am not saying that prostitution will disappear, i just find the lifestyle, disrespect of the clients to their families (those who have partners etc), disrespect of the prostitute for their body and for the nature of sex – i find it all really ugly.

I don’t think the industry can be covered up by a glossy website and some articulate words. No doubt Tess as a person is great company, afterall, she is well practiced! But you can’t tell me that you would be proud of your child or spouse entering the industry. I am not saying that you would hate your child or spouse. Just the occupation.

I would prefer that we had workers in this field than a lack thereof. there are people out in the community that for whatever reason cannot find a partner. this is quite a sad thing to consider, especially when these people don’t have the social skills that would allow them to interact with members of the opposite sex.

they can gain confidence through the interaction that they receive with an escort. They may have sex, they may not. it is all allowing them to refine their interaction, and personally, I would have benefited in my early years by being taught the proper way to engage with a woman in conversation. (amongst other things)

If Tess (or anyone) has other options, and makes a choice between them, and it disappoints not her, but someone else like sepi or stirred408, who cares?
I am sure we all make choices that, for whatever reason, someone in the world doesn’t like. So what! How does that then reflect poorly on our entire gender? How’re we letting down the 3 billion other men/women in the world who share our chromosonal combination?
What a ridiculous pile of rot. It’s nothing more than you wanting to paint your morals, your beliefs on someone else. Next thing you know, we’ll be hearing how it’ll bring down the Roman Empire or other such riciulous theories.

No men reduced to their body parts to be seen on this website is what I meant.

Peter – I never said you piss on people?

not on this website.

I agree with many of the things that have been said, however i disagree about the yobbo blokes comment.

I have never p1ssed on anyone, nor will I ever. I am classed as a yobbo by some who know me, but that is down to perception.

And so is what Tess does for a living. Tess has decided to do what she does. as an individual, this is the only choice that she can make that is completely hers, not anyone else’s.

I have friends who work in this industry, from a male perspective – they are male revue dancers.

They have wives and girlfriends. They enjoy the attention, but have strict rules in place to prevent the behaviour getting out of hand.

one thing that seems to be prevalent in whichever form of this industry people engage in is that the worker has far greater control than I first thought.

No means No.

The reason that some of my questions had a male slant is that most of my friends won’t work as a male escort, they don’t find that the client understands the actual function that they provide.

the point of crossover between companion / escort to sex worker seems to be very thin for males. I was interested to see if it was the same for females.

my friends would prefer to act as a companion to an event, than end up in a seedy hotel.

> As long as women are for sale, or reduced to their body parts, I feel like this makes it harder for mainstream women to be taken seriously at work, in positions of power and in politics.

Meh. Plenty of men for sale &/or reduced to their body parts.

Hi “The Brad”

Yes – I think Tess’ choice of occupation is abhorrent. I am not saying that prostitution will disappear, i just find the lifestyle, disrespect of the clients to their families (those who have partners etc), disrespect of the prostitute for their body and for the nature of sex – i find it all really ugly.

I don’t think the industry can be covered up by a glossy website and some articulate words. No doubt Tess as a person is great company, afterall, she is well practiced! But you can’t tell me that you would be proud of your child or spouse entering the industry. I am not saying that you would hate your child or spouse. Just the occupation.

There’s always someone worse off.

I feel sorry for those who have no choices outside prostitution.

I guess I can’t help feeling that someone like Tess is letting the (female) side down a bit, seeing as she clearly does have other options.

As long as women are for sale, or reduced to their body parts, I feel like this makes it harder for mainstream women to be taken seriously at work, in positions of power and in politics.

sepi said :

saying that yobbo blokes who piss on people are standing up for men’s rights.

I am supportive of a man’s right to at least ask his partner if he can piss on them, and if they’re both consenting and can clean up their own mess or pay market price for someone to do it for them, I have no problems with it so long as I don’t have to watch.

Maybe not her feminism; but better than being ‘owned’ by the mafia or bikies, or doing it because you have no other way to support an addiction, or because you have been trafficked into slavery, or there is no social welfare etc. etc. etc.

It is sad that people think femenists are anti-sex.

I was disappointed that the questions asked of Tess shied away from all those questions asking how her work impinges on her life/family outside of work.

I was glad that she didn’t sugar-coat her profession entirely – admitting that clients can be over 80, rude or even not speak through out an entire encounter.

I also think that articles like this one, the summernats articles, the jessica goode story do drag riotact towards being a grotty boys club.

I dont’ believe it is an expression of Tess’ femenism that she is doing what she wants to. That is like saying that yobbo blokes who piss on people are standing up for men’s rights.

My personal code as a woman is that I would not engage in sex with any man in a committed relationship. If there were children involved then that would be set in stone. This is because I do believe in treating other women the way I would want them to treat me. I also believe that what goes around comes around.

If I discovered that my partner had felt it necessary to seek sexual involvement elsewhere I would be gutted. From my perspective our relationship would be over, and our kids would be a whole lot poorer and a whole lot less happy.

We all would.

My self-confidence would be just as shattered as my trust.

So we are not natural allies.

However, I truly believe that Tess cares for the clients she sees, and is trying to give them a gift which is part of the sexual experience but not just physical. I think it is good that she is an independent worker in an industry which can often be abusive of women. I think she has a very warm heart and a fine mind, and I was certainly interested in what she had to say.

I was also glad that she was treated with such respect by those posting, and I was proud of all concerned.

The Brad said :

i am not critical of Tess or Jessica

Go back and read your comments. You’ve critised her life choices, alluded that she has disrespected her parents, and stated that the time she spent answering these questions were for an ulterior (monetary) objective.

If I was Tess, I’d find your comments offensive.

considering that tess probably does read RA, she would probably get a laugh out of the small mindedness of some people.

i am not critical of Tess or Jessica

Go back and read your comments. You’ve critised her life choices, alluded that she has disrespected her parents, and stated that the time she spent answering these questions were for an ulterior (monetary) objective.

If I was Tess, I’d find your comments offensive.

stirred408 said :

Anyway, I might actually be male.

I’ll let you work that one out for yourself !

stirred408 said :

i am not critical of Tess or Jessica. I am critical of some of prosttution and some of the bloggers. Anyway, I might actually be male.

the “dude” reference was a hint…

i am not critical of Tess or Jessica. I am critical of some of prosttution and some of the bloggers. Anyway, I might actually be male.

Loquaciousness1:20 pm 25 Aug 08

circusmind said :

Further proof that men don’t hate women half as much as women hate women.

… and that no one will be as critical of a woman as another woman …

(well said circusmind)

stirred408 said :

The-riotact is nothing but a grotty boys club. All the comments are praising this young lady instead of saying, sorry Tess – your parents payed for you to be articulate, but instead you decided to repay them by being a prostitute. They must be so proud.

Is this the thing we are try to be encouraging?

This thread and the one recently commenting on Jessica Goodes attire are really appalling.

Further proof that men don’t hate women half as much as women hate women.

Rock on sister.

People pay her for sex.

You say that as if you believe that something irreplaceable is taken away from her when that happens. Did you actually read the article?

Loquaciousness11:57 am 25 Aug 08

Whatsup said :

Jessica has been acknowledged for improving her on screen dress sense and Tess has informed us about a normally taboo subject. I don’t see any problem encouraging open discussion on such a diverse topic range.

To clarify … I have no problem with the subject matter of either post, and agree with you wholeheartedly. It was some of the more derogatory and sexist comments that I took issue with.

L

People pay her for sex.

And there are plenty of females, and even more males, who would have sex with anyone for free.
So why is Tess to be scorned at?
She’s not hurting anyone, not breaking any laws, and making some people happy, even if it is for only 3 minutes.

Jessica has been acknowledged for improving her on screen dress sense and Tess has informed us about a normally taboo subject. I don’t see any problem encouraging open discussion on such a diverse topic range.

fnaah said :

You may post more often, I doubt whether you’ll contribute.

stirred408 may well become a member who has some good input, but it is up to them.

give them enough rope, see what they do with it.

Blast, forgot to close my own bold tab.

You may post more often, I doubt whether you’ll contribute.

stirred408 said :

Dude, she is a prostitute. People pay her for sex.

She’s an escort, people pay her for companionship and time.
She may have sex with them during that time, but the lady does have standards.

yes – thank you peterh – perhaps i will contribute more often.

Loquaciousness11:28 am 25 Aug 08

stirred408 said :

The-riotact is nothing but a grotty boys club. All the comments are praising this young lady instead of saying, sorry Tess – your parents payed for you to be articulate, but instead you decided to repay them by being a prostitute. They must be so proud.

Is this the thing we are try to be encouraging?

This thread and the one recently commenting on Jessica Goodes attire are really appalling.

I was unsettled by the Jessica Goode post too (my comments on that thread are evidence enough). This thread, however, has so far been polite and respectful. Tess Ryan volunteered to answer ten questions (all of which, with a few minor examples, were in good taste) – she did so with honesty, respect and frankness.

Tess Ryan has chosen a profession – no one chose it for her, or forced her into it, her own story tells you that – and she has now stood up and chosen to share her experiences with others. The people who have responded to those comments have been without exception polite, grateful and honest. If that isn’t empowering (for anyone – regardless of gender) then I don’t know what is.

The commentors on this post – and those who suggested the original questions, should be praised for staying out of the gutter entirely. It’s admirable.

Stirred408 – if you want to support women’s liberation and the feminist movement, don’t just blindly attack anything that has to do with sex, sexualisation or prostitution. There’s such a thing as women’s sexual liberation as well.

L

stirred408 said :

Her soul!!! I think she is trying to increase her business. Fairly successfully!

why is this a problem for you? She was quite happy to answer the questions posed, and I, for one, don’t feel any need to pay money for this particular service. the interest that I have for the information that she has provided is purely from a curiosity perspective.

perhaps you should put up your tar and feathers and contribute more often, you may find that there are other articles that you have an opinion about.

Grotty Old Boys Club?

I find that comment absolutely offensive: how dare you compare us with the ACT Liberal Party!!!!!

Her soul!!! I think she is trying to increase her business. Fairly successfully!

… I meant to say “unanimously been applauded as corageous and honest”.

Jessica Goode wasn’t “treated” anything, there was a discussion about her clothes. The article above is an insight into someone’s soul, which has almost unanimously been applauded and has challenged many stereotypes.

Jessica hasn’t provided that insight into her life, and that’s fair enough. Tess did, and I thank her for it.

“As you didn’t throw in anything more to support your assertion that Tess is trampy, your opinion is only valued by you.”

Dude, she is a prostitute. People pay her for sex.

I have been reading the riot act (as it were) for many years. I am not much of a blogger, but the Jessica Goode thing made me feel very uneasy. If I was her, I would be embarrassed. I know she is a public figure, but sometimes I think people should show more restraint when making those comments. I can’t understand why Tess get high praise and Jessica was treated like a tramp.

stirred408 said :

yes – a hands down majority

what does this mean?

I do hope that you aren’t seeking to make this interview into something it isn’t – a remarkable lady talking frankly about her work is fine by me. saying that this is a grotty boy’s club, and that the comments are all in seriousness, is a pretty far stretch. There are serious comments, mine included. Some others aren’t serious at all.

considering that several of the posters in this forum are women, and have valid input re this interview, hardly a boys club, grotty or not.

it takes different people to run this society. you just don’t have to believe that what some do is right. it is your opinion, and the purpose of this site as i understand it is to be able to comment based on your opinion. just don’t expect everyone to agree with you.

@stirred408:
Value is a perception or relative worth.

You’re a newbie (five comments posted so far, all in this thread) so I’ll point out what your value in any conversation where we don’t know you is only as good as whatever you bring to a discussion.
As you didn’t throw in anything more to support your assertion that Tess is trampy, your opinion is only valued by you.
Until you can provide evidence to support your claims that she’s a letdown to her parents, some people may assume that your judgements are flawed.

RiotACT is generally more of a “put up or shut up” kind of place, not one where everything is all sunshine and cuddles, and everybody’s opinion holds equal weight from the start.

stirred408 said :

yes – a hands down majority

Looking at the above topic, which ‘posters’ in your opinion are female ?

I agree she is articulate, just not smart!
She probably works less hours than us, gets paid more than us, doing a job that she doesn’t hate. Sounds pretty smart to me.

My valued judgment is that she has no values!
Values that society dictates. And 50 years ago, rock and roll was music of the devil.

I’d value Tess’s open-minded judgement more than your closed mind.

The riotact is all about valued judgments. My valued judgment is that she has no values!

I value my right to make my own value judgements, rather than have you criticise me (by calling me a grotty boy) based on yours.

yes – a hands down majority

stirred408 said :

No – I was making an observation more about people’s comments rather than the subject!

And you are making assumptions that the people posting on this topic and the Jessica Goodes dress sense are boys.

The riotact is all about valued judgments. My valued judgment is that she has no values!

You’re imposing your values on her. She’s her own person, doing her own thing. She doesn’t have to be like you anymore than you have to be like her.

I agree she is articulate, just not smart!

The comments on what an intelligent & articulate woman Tess seems to be? Hmmmm. RiotACT, shame on you! Fancy posting comments like that!

No – I was making an observation more about people’s comments rather than the subject!

> It is interesting how already there are a few postings offended by my comments. Funny when the shoe is on the other foot.

I can’t see any shoe on another foot. Just you writing off an interesting interview simply because the subject is a sex worker (oh no, run everyone! sex!) & a woman. You’re being sexist more than the “grotty boys” are.

It is interesting how already there are a few postings offended by my comments. Funny when the shoe is on the other foot.

stirred408 said :

The-riotact is nothing but a grotty boys club. All the comments are praising this young lady instead of saying, sorry Tess – your parents payed for you to be articulate, but instead you decided to repay them by being a prostitute. They must be so proud.

Is this the thing we are try to be encouraging?

This thread and the one recently commenting on Jessica Goodes attire are really appalling.

RIGHT ON Andrea Dworkin, and all heterosexual sex is rape too!

stirred408 said :

The-riotact is nothing but a grotty boys club. All the comments are praising this young lady instead of saying, sorry Tess – your parents payed for you to be articulate, but instead you decided to repay them by being a prostitute. They must be so proud.

Is this the thing we are try to be encouraging?

This thread and the one recently commenting on Jessica Goodes attire are really appalling.

don’t like it?

don’t read it.

I, for one, was interested to know a bit about the goings on in the sex industry from a worker’s perspective.

better info than the seedy movies or stereotyped “lady of the night” – here is someone who has made a career decision, and is good at what they do.

her website also has links to books that go further into the subject. some are worth a look.

it is also refreshing that she spells out what is expected of the client, re behavior, and I am glad that she has the power to make her own decisions in her life.

stirred408 said :

The-riotact is nothing but a grotty boys club. All the comments are praising this young lady instead of saying, sorry Tess – your parents payed for you to be articulate, but instead you decided to repay them by being a prostitute. They must be so proud.

Is this the thing we are try to be encouraging?

This thread and the one recently commenting on Jessica Goodes attire are really appalling.

Perhaps best if you leave this one to the ladies fellas.

The-riotact is nothing but a grotty boys club. All the comments are praising this young lady instead of saying, sorry Tess – your parents payed for you to be articulate, but instead you decided to repay them by being a prostitute. They must be so proud.

Is this the thing we are try to be encouraging?

This thread and the one recently commenting on Jessica Goodes attire are really appalling.

Give yourself an uppercut for that one, circusmind!

A fascinating read and I’d echo others’ views that similar articles on locals doing different and interesting stuff would be welcome. The Tess Ryan and Min Mae stories have been two of the best articles of late, for mine.

Jack Dorf said :

sew worker

Is this about the garment trade?

It’s an unseamly business, to be sure.

deezagood said :

I disagree (rather heartily) with Tess’ premise that ‘having a great time in the missionary position for three minutes is okay’

So would 5 minutes be good enough ?

This was a great idea; I hope Tess can find the time to perhaps answer another 10 questions one day soon. It would be really interesting to pose some similar questions to a male escort too. I disagree (rather heartily) with Tess’ premise that ‘having a great time in the missionary position for three minutes is okay’ … although I can certainly see the benefits in Tess’ line of work!!

cranky1968 said :

This is great Tess. I agree with the poster who suggested that a regular column was in order.

Ditto, totally agreed. When studying Sociology at Uni. we had a Unit called ‘Crime, Deviance and Social Control’ and it reinforced to me the need for sex workers in society. When I was in the Navy based at HMAS Kuttabul I got to know a few ‘ladies of the night’ by mere virtue of walking past them on the way to various pubs of a weekend. On the whole (no pun intended) they’re very nice people just earning a living.

Tess… please contribute again!

What a fabulously insightful contribution – thank you Tess.

fnaah said :

safe sex products and work supplies that aren’t necessarily available in the chemist

… am I the only one intrigued by this?

I think she is referring to dams?

I just checked out your website Tess…I’m a woman, in “straight” profession, I enjoy sex for fun, but you have taken the “game” to a new level…so professional, well done.

This is great Tess. I agree with the poster who suggested that a regular column was in order.

safe sex products and work supplies that aren’t necessarily available in the chemist

… am I the only one intrigued by this?

It means that Tess is one of the vanishingly few people not in the IT industry who actually knows and cares about the workings of what Joe Sixpack would refer to as “teh intarwebs”.

Utah, please join the queue in an orderly fashion.

WMC wrote: Are you insulted when people describe you as articulate and intelligent? You know, because you’re a woman and a prostitute?

Gold.

Tess wrote: When you design and implement a site using hand written code instead of software like Dreamweaver or Frontpage, there is satisfaction in achieving clean, elegant code and a pure css layout.

I… I think I love you.

Ahhhh, see now if I told you that, I’d have to shoot you. I don’t want to get my hands dirty….

scootergal said :

I’m surprised that most people are amazed that Tess is articulate, or that this trade is similar to any other business. I guess it shows that there are alot of people out there who have not had any experiences with this industry, and have alot of misconceptions on who actually works within it.

Thank you Tess, for debunking. I would not have expected anything less of a Tess Ryan to do so, and I am happy to share your name.

So you have had experience in/with the industry?

Loquaciousness said :

iCanberran said :

… nor is she in bed with satin …

So it *is* about the garment trade … ?

L

that should be satan.

Do we get a discount ?

I’m surprised that most people are amazed that Tess is articulate, or that this trade is similar to any other business. I guess it shows that there are alot of people out there who have not had any experiences with this industry, and have alot of misconceptions on who actually works within it.

Thank you Tess, for debunking. I would not have expected anything less of a Tess Ryan to do so, and I am happy to share your name.

Loquaciousness11:11 am 23 Aug 08

iCanberran said :

… nor is she in bed with satin …

So it *is* about the garment trade … ?

L

Thanks Tess for a very interesting read.

Am I alone in thinking that this should turn into a regular column? Fascinating stuff.

A very well portrayed interview. Who ever would have thought those in the sex trade industry are just like you an me, making a living and (some of us) enjoying what we do. I especially liked the comments on old Billy and his sole proprietorship that is a borderline company.

Jeepers, she certainly didn’t go to Qbn High, and chose to learn. A very good read.

Thanks Tess!

3) Refund policy….

Some suggestions for the next set of questions:

1) Has business increased as a result of RA?
2) Does JB get a cut/discount for an interview in person?
3) Is there a fund policy?

Mælinar - *spoiler alert* I've seen S04E1310:45 pm 22 Aug 08

The selected questions were rather fluffy…… – JB’s trying to sideline a pro. I wonder who will win.

Thanks Tess for the insight. I appreciate it.

A bit disappointed my questions didn’t get in – the combination of politics and sex is oh so very interesting.

Nice work

My gosh, articulate, witty and honest. And given she’s in business for herself, independent… far from the beaten crack-whore with a pimp in a purple suit that Hollywood pushes.

That and she uses a Mac, so she’s not a hardcore Linux nerd nor is she in bed with satin (Microsoft)… though I suppose if Bill Gates paid 🙂

Good on RA for a revealing and interesting interview… lets have some more in the future.

crap how did that happen? I deja vued myself

Yes I got a question in that’s made my day, well up to now I do have more vodka handy…. I must admit I saw this lady’s website months and months ago while…. umm…… doing some research, for a friend….. and she sounded intriguing then even more so now. I’m with grundy on finding more stories and interviews from truly interesting people.

Top work it shouldn’t be too hard to flog (personal hahahaha) up some more likely candidate. I don’t know if they’ll all be as refreshing and forthcoming as Tess but hey it’d be worth a shot.

3 minutes in the missionary position….and now I have a new target. Hahahahahaha

Yes I got a question in that’s made my day, well up to now I do have more vodka handy…. I must admit I saw this lady’s website months and months ago while…. umm…… doing some research, for a friend….. and she sounded intriguing then even more so now. I’m with grundy on finding more stories and interviews from truly interesting people.

Top work it shouldn’t be too hard to flog up some more support

Just wanted to thank RA and Tess for one of the most interesting reads here in a long time.

I’d love to see more exclusive stories and interviews about the interesting people we have in this city!

I agree realityskin… and some of the answers sounded like they could’ve come straight from a politician.

The selected questions were rather fluffy……

Cameron said :

*waits for Sepi to have a cry over JB’s choice of image*

I quite like the choice of image pictured….lol

Tess sounds more of a computer nerd than me…lol

Interesting view points Tess, thanks.

Quote: “I do have a bit of an issue with Microsquash. Any company whose products are so faulty when delivered to the consumer deserves no respect. Besides, Bill Gates has no style.”

True dat….

I appreciate your time and input Tess, thanks.

Who else had to look up a definition for proselytising?

*waits for Sepi to have a cry over JB’s choice of image*

Julius Constantius4:50 pm 22 Aug 08

papadoc said :

Office Space is the epitomy of my life. Now if only women would pay to sleep with me, I’d be sorted. 🙂

LOL I dig that, i find it hard enough to give it away for free.

Good comment WM-C when I consider the large number of girls that i’ve worked with over the years were also attending uni.

WMC:
I’m not saying that I didn’t expect her to be able to string two words together. 😛
Canberra’s women of negotiable affection have my respect (but not my custom), and Tess deserves a degree of congratulation to be offered on a rapid response to being the subject of a RiotACT article.

Now if only our Assembly candidates were as willing to write up 2000 words to answer questions, but they rarely do it outside election years.

Office Space is the epitomy of my life. Now if only women would pay to sleep with me, I’d be sorted. 🙂

Woody Mann-Caruso4:31 pm 22 Aug 08

Maybe we should’ve asked another question:

Are you insulted when people describe you as articulate and intelligent? You know, because you’re a woman and a prostitute?

Jonathon Reynolds4:28 pm 22 Aug 08

Jack Dorf said :

sew worker
Is this about the garment trade?

Get with the plan… this is a discussion “thread”!

Quality responses, delivered intelligently and with substance too. 🙂

I could go into detail about the things I’d like to see changed, but that would turn this into a five page article.

Would you ever consider making another contribution to RiotACT and build profile, prestige, and\or custom?

sew worker

Is this about the garment trade?

One thing I’ve learned in the industry is that society is more concerned about looks than individuals are. Age, weight, personality, hair colour, bust size, ass size or whatever, there is always work. There are always clients who think you are just right. Women of all ages (and sizes and other variations) are amazing, interesting, beautiful, sexual and sensual creatures. So are men for that matter. Thank goodness there is just as much variety in people’s taste as there is in people. I know women in their fifties and even sixties who are still working and doing just fine.

Couldn’t agree more, Tess. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

neanderthalsis3:48 pm 22 Aug 08

Quite an articulate and intelligent sounding lass.

I loved the 3 minute missionary vs 30 minute karma sutra analogy, exept I think about deregulation in the VET sector, not my taxes. But each to their own…

Thanks for the insight into your world Tess, I’m sure it will clear up a lot of the misconceptions that we have about those who choose to turn on the red light.

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