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The Barbies of Canberra

By johnboy - 7 March 2007 28

As sent in by Al, Discuss:

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Canberra market:

“Manuka Barbie”
This princess Barbie is sold only in Manuka. She comes with an assortment of Prada Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, a designer kitchen and Ikea furniture. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

“Gungahlin Barbie”
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Honda Odessy Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming mobile phone sold separately. Comes complete with a red or yellow tiled house with a fresh coat of cement render.

“Queanbeyan Barbie”
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a carton of Holiday cigarettes (50 in each pack – super value!), a two litre bottle of home brand cola, a “lolux” with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable notes) …unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.

“Jerrabomberra Barbie”
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or wannabe Holden Hummer H3….. Included are her own cappucino cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. She has a big enough loan to move away from QBN, but not enough to move to Canberra!!

“Charnwood Barbie”
This pale model comes dressed in her own Jays Jays jeans two sizes too small, a Holden t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of the 440ml size Woodstock and Bourbon and the “all time greatest aussie BBQ songs” CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a “I voted for a dragway” bumper sticker absolutely free!

“Kingston Foreshore Barbie”
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo. Comes complete with a coffee voucher for the old bus depot markets.

“Batemans Bay Barbie”
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Exclusively available at Ned Kelly Bargins!

“Ainslie Barbie”
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and crocs with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Point Breeze Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag and “save Dickson college” bumper sticker for free.

“Lanyon Barbie”
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a prepaid phone card, action bus pass and Lynx bum bag worn over the shoulder. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Statesman were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant. Only availabale at the Lanyon shops or the Tuggeranong Hyperdome

Apparently these are doing the email rounds, anyone who would like to claim credit should email us.

What’s Your opinion?

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28 Responses to
The Barbies of Canberra
bubzie 7:35 pm 07 Mar 07

lol 😀

Sammy 6:56 pm 07 Mar 07

and Ikea furniture

It was obviously written by someone who has never actually visited an IKEA store. For some reason, people think that IKEA is upper-class, when it is anything but.

I cannot imagine someone living in Manuka (and driving a Lexus SUV) taking the time to drive to Sydney, lug flat pack furniture back to Canberra, and then spend the weekend putting it together.

davo101 6:34 pm 07 Mar 07

Drunk and disorderly in charge of a computer…..

What I meant to say was you can also peruse the
Massachusetts Barbies or the Barbies of Houston

Al 4:54 pm 07 Mar 07

Damn, that was sarcasm. So I’ve ticked off both of Stan’s lowest rungs on the humour ladder in one thread. Bugger.

Al 4:52 pm 07 Mar 07

It was an email doing the rounds that I thought others might have a laugh over, because it had Canberra content.
Sheer: wish I had that sort of time (or creativity).
Recycled yank content? Probably. But shows some themes/stereotypes/inappropriate typecasting are universal.
Take it seriously? Hell no – it’s just a laugh at ourselves…
Stan I guess my level of wit must be pretty low then – I laughed, as did everyone else around here. I’d better go take some prozac and get some control over my wayward sense of humour…

LlamaFrog 4:33 pm 07 Mar 07

and yet the trash in belconnen aren’t even mentioned. strange I would have thought that they would be combination of “Lanyon Barbie” and “Charnwood Barbie”

johnboy 4:29 pm 07 Mar 07

Also you obviously have yet to hear NTP’s puns.

johnboy 4:18 pm 07 Mar 07

very rare to see one with Canberra content however.

stan_bowles 4:15 pm 07 Mar 07

I nominate recycled email gags to replace sarcasm as the lowest form of wit.

Pandy 4:15 pm 07 Mar 07

When I waz young I liked to play with Barbies bumpy bits. Now there is Paris.

Thumper 4:03 pm 07 Mar 07

I like it…

johnboy 3:57 pm 07 Mar 07

It appears as it was sent, obviously it triggers some strong views.

West_Kambah_4eva 3:53 pm 07 Mar 07

Wooo! I wouldn’t want to be from Manuka, Gungahlin, Queanbeyan, Jerrabomberra, Charnwood, Kingston Foreshore, Batemans Bay, Ainslie or Lanyon….BUUUURRRRRN! They sure got your number! I’ll pay that one, turn it up, I’m not touching that one, could you be any more hello, etc.

Meconium 3:52 pm 07 Mar 07

Looks like a fairly feeble attempt to adapt these pictures (clearly made in America) to the Canberra lifestyle, with the logic that any predominantly middle-class place has these distinguishable types of yuppies, bogans and hippies. I’m neither for nor against slamming people from different socioeconomic backgrounds, but aside from the fact that the nicknames and descriptions of the dolls don’t really apply to people from these areas (and where they do, there’s considerable overlap with other areas), I don’t really find them that funny. Also, it seems that the editing has gone wrong under ‘Ainslie Barbie’ – what exactly is a Point Breeze Barbie? I guess it’s meant to be an Ainslie doll but it wasn’t edited right. And for that matter, shouldn’t the Ainslie hippies be walking or riding bikes instead of driving?

sheer 3:51 pm 07 Mar 07

And I thought *I* had time on my hands at work…

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