As sent in by Al, Discuss:
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Canberra market:
This princess Barbie is sold only in Manuka. She comes with an assortment of Prada Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, a designer kitchen and Ikea furniture. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Honda Odessy Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming mobile phone sold separately. Comes complete with a red or yellow tiled house with a fresh coat of cement render.
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a carton of Holiday cigarettes (50 in each pack – super value!), a two litre bottle of home brand cola, a “lolux” with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable notes) …unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or wannabe Holden Hummer H3….. Included are her own cappucino cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. She has a big enough loan to move away from QBN, but not enough to move to Canberra!!
This pale model comes dressed in her own Jays Jays jeans two sizes too small, a Holden t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of the 440ml size Woodstock and Bourbon and the “all time greatest aussie BBQ songs” CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a “I voted for a dragway” bumper sticker absolutely free!
“Kingston Foreshore Barbie”
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo. Comes complete with a coffee voucher for the old bus depot markets.
“Batemans Bay Barbie”
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Exclusively available at Ned Kelly Bargins!
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and crocs with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Point Breeze Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag and “save Dickson college” bumper sticker for free.
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a prepaid phone card, action bus pass and Lynx bum bag worn over the shoulder. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Statesman were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant. Only availabale at the Lanyon shops or the Tuggeranong Hyperdome
Apparently these are doing the email rounds, anyone who would like to claim credit should email us.