17 April 2012

The Chancellor of Vice on cost cutting at ANU

| johnboy
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Woroni’s brave satirisation of Vice-Chancellor Ian Young has had another outing to explain the planned cuts saying in part:

As part of the draft discussion paper released to ANU staff today, it is proposed that the $40 million figure be reached by a combination of sub-prime loans, drug-dealing and jewel heists to be planned and executed by Ben Wellings.

It is proposed that cost reductions be strategic, with clear decisions made as to activities that the University can no longer support, such as teaching. Such decisions will be made by those who shout loudest, and will ultimately result in a mental institution.

The process we begin today will continue for most of this calendar year, so get ready to hear a lot of angry people making lame excuses for why they shouldn’t have to cut back on the hundreds of thousands of dollars they misuse every year.

Oh, and before you go, can anyone spare a tenner so I can grab some lunch?

Young Ian,

Chancellor-of-Vice”

It’s as good an analysis as you’re likely to get.

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I wouldn’t imagine Ian Young would need anyone to lend him a tenner, he’d surely have plenty left over from his $800K salary…

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