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The Dirty 30

By Krystal Sanders - 6 November 2014 19

30birthday

So last weekend I hit a pretty big milestone. I hit 30. Besides the impending date of my birthday there’s a couple of tell-tale signs that made me realise I am approaching 30. Like the fact that if I’m staying up past 10pm on a school night I feel like a wild party animal. Where checking my Weatherzone app seems to not only come before checking Facebook, but it becomes a hot topic of discussion when talking about weekend plans. Or the fact that you look in the mirror and things just don’t seem to be as tight and bright as they did in your licence that you got taken at age 23.

And the biggest clincher? It’s now Thursday and I’m quite sure I’m still recovering from the hangover I received last Sunday.

Now in my early 20’s I never had a problem with growing up or ageing. And really who does, we think that fat will never creep up to our waistband. However about 6 months ago I really started to get uncomfortable with it. I started all the usual questions, am I happy with my life? Have I travelled enough? Studied enough? Am I financially secure? Will I be single forever?  And let’s face it I’m sure that many of us ask themselves similar questions, whether we’d like to admit it or not. But what got me started on this article is, I’m not sure that these thoughts come from ourselves or if it’s something almost bred into us by society?

Why do we feel that if we haven’t gotten married, bought a house, had a kid or two – or perhaps done the opposite and travelled to at least 10 countries that we have no excuse to just be cruising along at our own pace? Facebook can be such a great way to connect but sometimes it’s just a daily reminder of maybe some of the things we don’t have; like a new shiny engagement ring, or a newborn baby photo to post. And then there’s always that sinking feeling when an invitation arrives in the mail and you realise it’s only addressed to you. Single plus none. But this isn’t about a sob story of my life! It’s about embracing what we have achieved.

We set such high expectations for ourselves but forget to look at the things we have achieved rather than the things that we haven’t. By the way, I looked up the definition of achieve- it’s successfully bring about or reach (a desired objective or result) by effort, skill, or courage.

Now we’ve all displayed courage in our everyday lives, fought hard for that promotion, have loved and lost, finally got that degree, or scrimped and saved for the deposit on our first home. Whatever it may be, whatever the situation, no life doesn’t stop at 30. We aren’t old. Not even close. It may be a little scary, but it’s a good time to realise that turning 30 is just another week in the calendar. The next weekend will still be filled with good friends, drinks, failed tinder dates and a Powerade or two on a Sunday morning.

So my question to you is, if you could give yourself one piece of advice to your 30 year old self- what would it be?

What’s Your opinion?


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19 Responses to
The Dirty 30
pink little birdie 1:48 pm 07 Nov 14

VYBerlinaV8_is_back said :

Krystal Sanders said :

I wasn’t necessarily referencing myself in this article but in general the social stigma that myself and my friends or people I know have felt in nearing this age.

Social stigma? Once you get past 30 no-one will even notice or care. Especially not those people who are older than you anyway. I suspect quite a bit of this stigma is imagined.

It sounds like you have already done some living, which is good. Don’t underestimate the value of settings goals and achieving them.

Pfft once you hit 24-25 everyone is too busy with their own life to care.

I find it amusing that lots of people are saying wear sunscreen

Antagonist 11:43 am 07 Nov 14

Krystal Sanders said :

I wasn’t necessarily referencing myself in this article but in general the social stigma that myself and my friends or people I know have felt in nearing this age.

Here is some advice to a 30 year old – from a 40 year old that looks 25-30 max: The social stigma you refer to exists only in your head.

Prada 10:22 am 07 Nov 14

Social stigmas can exist for people at any age. Fortunately it is my ‘goals and achievements’ in life that allows me the deligtful insightfulness of my post. But thank you for wise words of wisdom.

VYBerlinaV8_is_back 9:31 am 07 Nov 14

Krystal Sanders said :

I wasn’t necessarily referencing myself in this article but in general the social stigma that myself and my friends or people I know have felt in nearing this age.

Social stigma? Once you get past 30 no-one will even notice or care. Especially not those people who are older than you anyway. I suspect quite a bit of this stigma is imagined.

It sounds like you have already done some living, which is good. Don’t underestimate the value of settings goals and achieving them.

Prada 2:44 am 07 Nov 14

I have realised that moving from one decade to another you really learn a lot about your self and others. My advice would be to stop comparing yourself to others. Stop self obessing about what you “think” you need in life; (Narcissistic and obnoxious people are not easy to be around). Real life is not a “Sex and the City” episode and neither is “Facebook”. Get lots of sleep, eat right, exercise and use sunscreen. Take responsibility for your actions and own them (good or bad). And if you have any room left during your next decade do your best to ‘pay it forward’. You may never know how much your random act of goodwill or kindness might change a strangers; day, week, month or life 🙂

Krystal Sanders 9:28 pm 06 Nov 14

Let me clarify, I do own an investment property, done a bit of travel, have had a great career in marketing, have loved and lost (with a divorce to boot!) and have a 9 year old son. I wasn’t necessarily referencing myself in this article but in general the social stigma that myself and my friends or people I know have felt in nearing this age.

Love some of the advice though! Particularly not wasting time about things you’re not passionate about! My mantra!

Listers_Cat 7:33 pm 06 Nov 14

The sunscreen song is nice, but why don’t you take some more practical advice… http://youtu.be/8YwqFz14xY4

neanderthalsis 7:27 pm 06 Nov 14

1. Travel, it broadens the mind and empties the wallet, and being broke whilst traveling is one of the best learning experiences you can have.

2. Don’t fret that you are single and childless. Think of all of those poor mugs who can’t leave the house without permission from the significant other, three days of planning and a pack mule for the baby bag.

3. Get yourself on track for a career doing what you want to do. Go and look around your workplace at all the bitter over-40’s who hate their work (and consequently their life) and decide you don’t want to be like that.

4. Wear a hat and sunscreen.

5. Don’t buy a house because everyone else tells you to. If you are happy renting and don’t want the hassle of home ownership, maintenance, etc, just keep renting. Millions of Europeans do it, why can’t a few Australians.

6. Don’t go on a frenzied fitness kick and decide that you have failed in life if you haven’t run a marathon by forty. It’s daft. Stay healthy; if that means a little chubby but still healthy and happy, then so be it.

7. And the best advice on growing up I ever received (but didn’t actually follow): stay single, spend your money on expensive alcohol, fast cars and cheap women… (may need to be tailored to your specific circumstances).

Grail 5:07 pm 06 Nov 14

Oh, and PS: You’re only as old as the person you feel. So if you haven’t got a partner, you’re pretty much ageless 🙂

Grail 5:05 pm 06 Nov 14

Simple advice for my much younger self:

1) No, you don’t need it. The money would be better spent on entertaining friends.

2) Read “The Sunscreen Speech” and take it to heart. Or watch “The Sunscreen Song” on YouTube, if words aren’t your thing.

3) Give up the Powerade. Talk to a nutritionist or dietician about balancing your diet before you get sick. Walk for half an hour every day: when you get home, don’t turn on the TV, the Internet or whatever your vice is. Just go for a walk. Take your music player with you if you want. If you don’t have legs or are otherwise incapable of walking, just find somewhere to sit and watch the clouds go by for half an hour. Learn to meditate. This is all practical, “do what I say” advice, so it’s all on one line so it’s easier to forget 😉

4) Learn that happiness is your decision, success and achievement follow from happiness, they don’t lead to it. The same goes for the dating game: happiness leads to successful dates, not vice versa.

5) For further reading, grab The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It’s about overcoming procrastination but it has plenty of advice that is useful for learning what is really important to you.

fabforty 4:55 pm 06 Nov 14

My advice to everyone at all ages is this:

You do not need to start every piece of writing and every sentence you say with the word “so”.

watto23 4:17 pm 06 Nov 14

I am too about to hit 40 next year. Its just another number, I was definitely not someone who looked forward to my 30’s. I’m in the situation now though, that i almost own a house, have traveled a hell of a lot, my brand new car from my 20’s is now looking old and dated and i’m single with no kids. Society dictates one should find a wife and have children, but I’m not so sure its for me. I really would like to meet someone to spend my life with, but finding someone with the same goals is quite difficult, especially when I have no idea what my goals are.

However the one thing i always tell people is don’t feel like you have to do what everyone else is doing if it doesn’t make you happy.

Antagonist 2:01 pm 06 Nov 14

I am about to give 40 a good nudge, and also about to ‘finally get that degree’. But it is not the 30 year old me that needs the advice. It is the 20 year old me that needs to be told “put it back in your pants, and start saving for that house!”

tooltime 1:46 pm 06 Nov 14

Life’s way too short to waste your time doing things you’re not passionate about. If you can’t think of anything or still haven’t worked out what you’re passionate about, you’re probably in a much bigger rut than what you think – see previous post about goal setting and get a life coach. If you can spend ten minutes a night for three habit breaking weeks – just before you hit the pillow – setting a few goals your true pattern will emerge and you’re on your way. As I tell my clients, there’s no shortcut to anyplace worth going…

VYBerlinaV8_is_back 12:35 pm 06 Nov 14

As someone in my late 30’s I’d recommend thinking about worthy goals, rather than just the stuff that your peers and the media ram down your throat (not that I know what your goals are, of course). What do you really want? What have you done to advance yourself down that path? Will it really make you happy?

Also, remember the quote by Mignon McLaughlin:
“What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want”

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