9 October 2014

The First Date

| Samara Gentle
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Common Grounds Cafe

They say a good impression is all about a first impression, which if you’re meeting someone from an online dating site can be very true!

The first date is not only crucial in securing a second date, but depending on what you choose to do can give you a very cool edge to your potential partner.

In my last post there was lots of you suggesting coffee as a first date because it’s low cost – sure that can be a really good safe option for someone you haven’t met and don’t want to invest a lot of money in. However I have to say it’s slightly boring! The first dates that I remember clearly are the ones that were different and fun, coffee dates – I can barely tell them apart.

Here are my first date suggestions to mix it up and create not only a fun atmosphere but a low pressure one as well:

  1. The Driving Range – if you’re slightly sporty or enjoy having a laugh at yourself the driving range can be a really good opportunity. I’ve done this on a first date before and had an excellent time. You can muck around hitting balls while engaging in general chit chat. If the date goes well you can then suggest coffee somewhere in Kingston or Manuka to keep it going.

http://www.canberragolf.com.au/cms/

  1. Roller Derby – if your date hasn’t been to roller derby before I think it’s a great first date experience. If you run out of things to talk about you can talk about the game, the atmosphere is fun and again you can go for a drink afterwards to extend the date if it’s going well!

http://canberrarollerderbyleague.com/

  1. Teppanyaki – I love love LOVE this as a first date experience. Not only do you get fed but you also get food thrown at you and you can have a giggle at your date if they can’t catch their bowl, but you can! If you’re going to go for a restaurant setting this is the most fun and gives you lots to talk about.

http://www.teppan.com.au

 

What’s your suggestion for a fun first date in Canberra?

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Samara Gentle10:26 am 14 Oct 14

PorkChops said :

Great suggestions Samara, but I would save them for a second date if this is the first time you’re meeting in person. I’ve dabbled in online dating in the past and more often than not I’ve been relieved I’ve been able to leave after coffee.

However, if I met someone through work or a social event and I was asked on a date then hell yes, let’s go roller skating!

Oh I definitely should have included roller skating! Thank you 🙂

Samara Gentle10:25 am 14 Oct 14

farnarkler said :

Samara please read my post properly. I’m not accusing you of anything, merely asking questions. Your initial post suggests you have had a reasonable number of first dates. This in turn suggests you have not found a suitable partner, certainly not one from a coffee date.

We all have certain requirements a potential partner must satisfy. Some may have a list of requirements that only a tiny percentage of the population will ever satisfy. Again I’m not accusing, merely giving an opinion. Do you automatically give a cross (in the context of ticking off requirements on your list) if you’re asked on a coffee date?

I certainly did read your post properly, did you read mine? You’ve made a lot of assumptions about the type of person I am over a suggestive post about different dates to go on to mix things up.

Great suggestions Samara, but I would save them for a second date if this is the first time you’re meeting in person. I’ve dabbled in online dating in the past and more often than not I’ve been relieved I’ve been able to leave after coffee.

However, if I met someone through work or a social event and I was asked on a date then hell yes, let’s go roller skating!

Samara please read my post properly. I’m not accusing you of anything, merely asking questions. Your initial post suggests you have had a reasonable number of first dates. This in turn suggests you have not found a suitable partner, certainly not one from a coffee date.

We all have certain requirements a potential partner must satisfy. Some may have a list of requirements that only a tiny percentage of the population will ever satisfy. Again I’m not accusing, merely giving an opinion. Do you automatically give a cross (in the context of ticking off requirements on your list) if you’re asked on a coffee date?

Antagonist said :

VYBerlinaV8_is_back said :

BenjaminRose1991 said :

milkman said :

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

+100

And another.

I convinced the hottest chick I know to marry me, and we have been very happily married for more than 10 years. I figured out a way to have some fun and get inside her head on the first date – and it worked very well. I didn’t manage that because I settled for a boring coffee date for our first time out (although we do enjoy our coffee outings). I have the runs on the board. You guys are still single. Figure it out 🙂

I’m not single, I’ve been married longer than you.

Antagonist said :

chewy14 said :

This sounds very strange to me. You had to “convince” her to marry you?

You make it sound like you were a conman grifting your way into her life. Maybe she just liked you and would have been equally happy with a coffee? I don’t get the need for people to make a first date exciting. If you get on with each other and there’s a connection, surely the venue and activities don’t really matter?

I am punching waaay above my weight. I think ‘convince’ is appropriate. I established a good connection by doing something different; that is, thinking outside the box. Coffee dates? Pffft! That is right up there with trying to meet the woman of your dreams by getting tanked and stumbling around in a nightclub.

Sounds to me like you have a very low opinion of yourself. I think you’re underselling yourself….Well unless you’re this guy:

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/darren-donaghey-wins-punching-above-his-weight-champion-award-for-pulling-hot-fiance-kate-cathart/story-fnet09y4-1226864157052

chewy14 said :

This sounds very strange to me. You had to “convince” her to marry you?

You make it sound like you were a conman grifting your way into her life. Maybe she just liked you and would have been equally happy with a coffee? I don’t get the need for people to make a first date exciting. If you get on with each other and there’s a connection, surely the venue and activities don’t really matter?

I am punching waaay above my weight. I think ‘convince’ is appropriate. I established a good connection by doing something different; that is, thinking outside the box. Coffee dates? Pffft! That is right up there with trying to meet the woman of your dreams by getting tanked and stumbling around in a nightclub.

justin heywood1:22 pm 13 Oct 14

VYBerlinaV8_is_back said :

Personally I find it kinda pathetic that dating is a sort of game to some people.

Precisely. You don’t ‘win’ the right partner with your slick dating skills. Better to be yourself.

VYBerlinaV8_is_back12:28 pm 13 Oct 14

Antagonist said :

VYBerlinaV8_is_back said :

BenjaminRose1991 said :

milkman said :

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

+100

And another.

I convinced the hottest chick I know to marry me, and we have been very happily married for more than 10 years. I figured out a way to have some fun and get inside her head on the first date – and it worked very well. I didn’t manage that because I settled for a boring coffee date for our first time out (although we do enjoy our coffee outings). I have the runs on the board. You guys are still single. Figure it out 🙂

I’m not single, I’ve been happily married 15 years to the woman I met and immediately started dating when we were both 18.

I have it well figured out. Personally I find it kinda pathetic that dating is a sort of game to some people.

Antagonist said :

VYBerlinaV8_is_back said :

BenjaminRose1991 said :

milkman said :

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

+100

And another.

I convinced the hottest chick I know to marry me, and we have been very happily married for more than 10 years. I figured out a way to have some fun and get inside her head on the first date – and it worked very well. I didn’t manage that because I settled for a boring coffee date for our first time out (although we do enjoy our coffee outings). I have the runs on the board. You guys are still single. Figure it out 🙂

This sounds very strange to me. You had to “convince” her to marry you?

You make it sound like you were a conman grifting your way into her life. Maybe she just liked you and would have been equally happy with a coffee? I don’t get the need for people to make a first date exciting. If you get on with each other and there’s a connection, surely the venue and activities don’t really matter?

pink little birdie10:40 am 13 Oct 14

Antagonist said :

VYBerlinaV8_is_back said :

BenjaminRose1991 said :

milkman said :

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

+100

And another.

I convinced the hottest chick I know to marry me, and we have been very happily married for more than 10 years. I figured out a way to have some fun and get inside her head on the first date – and it worked very well. I didn’t manage that because I settled for a boring coffee date for our first time out (although we do enjoy our coffee outings). I have the runs on the board. You guys are still single. Figure it out 🙂

We went to dinner and a movie admittedly I spent half the movie hiding my face in his shirt cos it was too scary for me. We are 3 and 3/4 years in and amazingly happy.

Holden Caulfield10:30 am 13 Oct 14

I’m not the biggest fan of Samara’s work on these pages, but some of you guys need to have a real hard look at yourselves.

Lighten up, she’s just making a few off-centre suggestions that might help create a lasting impression. And if you can’t see that there could be merit and fun to be had with the right person you’re all a bunch of sad sacks, wowsers and killjoys, haha!

VYBerlinaV8_is_back said :

BenjaminRose1991 said :

milkman said :

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

+100

And another.

I convinced the hottest chick I know to marry me, and we have been very happily married for more than 10 years. I figured out a way to have some fun and get inside her head on the first date – and it worked very well. I didn’t manage that because I settled for a boring coffee date for our first time out (although we do enjoy our coffee outings). I have the runs on the board. You guys are still single. Figure it out 🙂

VYBerlinaV8_is_back9:00 am 13 Oct 14

BenjaminRose1991 said :

milkman said :

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

+100

And another.

Samara Gentle8:58 am 13 Oct 14

farnarkler said :

High maintenance and, by the sounds of it, very single. How many first dates have there been Samara? Are you the type of woman who has a very long list of ‘must haves’ (the $100k plus salary, the house in Isaacs, the BMW or Merc, etc) a potential partner needs to satisfy before you’d go on a second date?

I wonder if you’d ever be seen with a bloke wearing a flouro vest, even though, unbeknownst to you he might have a degree in engineering or architecture.

I love how a post full of suggestions leads to accusations 🙂

BenjaminRose1991 said :

milkman said :

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

+100

Yep. Methinks some people only go on dates so they can have something ‘exciting’ to tell their vacuous, plastic girlfriends.

BenjaminRose19918:42 am 12 Oct 14

milkman said :

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

+100

If coffee is boring, you’re there with the wrong person.

BenjaminRose199110:48 pm 11 Oct 14

Antagonist said :

Really people? If you are playing the game right, you are trying to convince the hottest chick/guy you know that you are going to be worth their time. Why just settle for coffee? Thinking outside the box is exactly what you should be doing. I didn’t end up married to the hottest chick I know by settling for a coffee date! You can learn a lot about each other and have fun at the same time.

Go Karts? Indoor rock climbing (have the courtesy to tell her to wear long pants)? Paintball? Crack open a geode at the Dinosaur Museum and then go check out the aviary. Grab a can of Dairy Whip, make up some cream pies and have a fight with them? Do anything EXCEPT a coffee date – unless the coffee is the last thing on your itinerary for the date.

But what is wrong with coffee or cafes in general? Just saying it’s boring doesn’t cut it, are you and Samara just tired of getting to know the same boring guys in a fairly relaxed environment over a drink or small meal without the added expense, thrill and complication of devising an ostentatious first date.

Last I checked a first date is THE time to get to know somebody and get a feel (no pun intended) of the other person. Are they right for me or not? This from experience is best achieved by conversations in a relatively informal setting without much distraction or activity. Why then would you want to clutter the occasion with roller derby, go karts, and rock climbing. Save it all for a hangout with a friend or heaven forbid.. a fifth or tenth date!

Itinerary? Oh dear… are we talking about a month long holiday in North America or a first date?

The problem with the ‘activity’ based suggestions is that they don’t allow for the ‘getting to know’ type of conversation that will establish whether you want to see that persons again. Paintball is perfectly fine but you may as well go with a mate. Why not something a little more intellectual, for example an exhibition at the Gallery or a play? You can always have coffee afterwards and what you’ve just seen will provide an excellent ice-breaker for further conversation. And anyone who thinks they can get to know someone via a dating site is nuts.

Really people? If you are playing the game right, you are trying to convince the hottest chick/guy you know that you are going to be worth their time. Why just settle for coffee? Thinking outside the box is exactly what you should be doing. I didn’t end up married to the hottest chick I know by settling for a coffee date! You can learn a lot about each other and have fun at the same time.

Go Karts? Indoor rock climbing (have the courtesy to tell her to wear long pants)? Paintball? Crack open a geode at the Dinosaur Museum and then go check out the aviary. Grab a can of Dairy Whip, make up some cream pies and have a fight with them? Do anything EXCEPT a coffee date – unless the coffee is the last thing on your itinerary for the date.

High maintenance and, by the sounds of it, very single. How many first dates have there been Samara? Are you the type of woman who has a very long list of ‘must haves’ (the $100k plus salary, the house in Isaacs, the BMW or Merc, etc) a potential partner needs to satisfy before you’d go on a second date?

I wonder if you’d ever be seen with a bloke wearing a flouro vest, even though, unbeknownst to you he might have a degree in engineering or architecture.

Samara Gentle9:10 am 11 Oct 14

BenjaminRose1991 said :

farnarkler said :

You sound like Mrs Richards from Fawlty Towers. Some poor bast$rd plucks up the courage to ask you out on a date and you expect to see Aurora Australis while driving round Wakefield Park at 200km/h eating fugu. You might think a coffee date is boring but what if your date doesn’t?

+1

It sounds like your very picky about with whom you date. I don’t see any of the places you suggest being appropriate venues to getting to know somebody. Roller derby and the Teppanyaki for me seem to be appropriate for future dates but certainly not the first date. The driving range really makes no sense and if a lady I asked out suggested the driving range as a place for a first date I’d assume she is obsessed with golf/driving ranges, boring, high maintenance or all the above.

High maintenance at least for me and all the other guys I know is a MASSIVE turn off.

I find it slightly hilarious that suggesting anything outside the box in terms of a date is considered high maintenance, but if fun is high maintenance then high maintenance I am 😉

BenjaminRose19919:24 pm 10 Oct 14

farnarkler said :

You sound like Mrs Richards from Fawlty Towers. Some poor bast$rd plucks up the courage to ask you out on a date and you expect to see Aurora Australis while driving round Wakefield Park at 200km/h eating fugu. You might think a coffee date is boring but what if your date doesn’t?

+1

It sounds like your very picky about with whom you date. I don’t see any of the places you suggest being appropriate venues to getting to know somebody. Roller derby and the Teppanyaki for me seem to be appropriate for future dates but certainly not the first date. The driving range really makes no sense and if a lady I asked out suggested the driving range as a place for a first date I’d assume she is obsessed with golf/driving ranges, boring, high maintenance or all the above.

High maintenance at least for me and all the other guys I know is a MASSIVE turn off.

After reading your post, I suggest a coffee date.

You sound like Mrs Richards from Fawlty Towers. Some poor bast$rd plucks up the courage to ask you out on a date and you expect to see Aurora Australis while driving round Wakefield Park at 200km/h eating fugu. You might think a coffee date is boring but what if your date doesn’t?

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