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The game is up, although it pays to advertise for henchmen

By Maelinar 28 August 2007 30

It is with some mirth that I report for the previous three months+ I have been writing in the local paper, the Canberra Times.

My efforts have also similarly been featured in the SMH Column8, and in the Times2 section of the CT.

Unfortunately, however it appears that the game is up. I’m being edited out of the only thing that was actually getting readers to enthusiastically read the paper on a Tuesday – my free ad, and my cohort of henchmen.

The rules were simple: I place a wanted ad seeking a fantastical item that is either outrageous to ask for, or simply doesnt exist.

Here’s a short summary of what I can remember asking for off the top of my head:

A zeppelin and a sopwith camel for an elaborate prank (response: 3 burnt zeppelins and a tiger moth – 3 calls and featured in SMH 2 days in a row)
The ?1479? Peacock Throne for gentlemanly wager (response: no calls)
A Double Eagle for coin collection (response: no calls)
Land for Lair, preferably underground (response: 2 calls)
Pepsi Can with serial number 2-7-8-2-3-8 (response: 2 calls)
Orbital Laser for Ransom Demand (response: no calls)
Scientists for evil laboratory (response: 4 calls – 2 asking me if it was anything to do with pepsi)
Henchmen to man evil lair (response: 8 calls and featured in CT Times2)
Beam focus unit for lightsabre (response: no calls)
Teens for kooky ghost investigation unit, with van – the game is up.

I got a lot of feedback from my callers – some who offered their entire workplace as henchmen, that the only thing worth reading in the entire paper was my 62 characters.

Anybody out there notice my caper ?

What’s Your opinion?

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30 Responses to
The game is up, although it pays to advertise for henchmen
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Danman_straight6_EB_Falcodore 9:05 am 09 Oct 07

Methinks mael is working for ct – using RA to bolster sales…. I for one will be purchasing a CT today dammit…

Maelinar 8:37 am 09 Oct 07

Bonfire – Tuesday October the 9th is dedicated to you buddy.

I’ll let you all buy a CT though to prolong the humour.

Maelinar 12:12 pm 02 Sep 07

I genuinely wanted that beam focus unit for my lightsabre…

I think $15 was more than reasonable, indeed, I was only offering $5/henchman.

jemmy 10:59 am 02 Sep 07

I wonder why the CT thinks its role includes vetting ads. Unless it’s staffed by po-faced gits.

Maelinar 6:31 am 02 Sep 07

Jemmy – Last week I was not printed, and the previous ad was edited significantly. At first I put it down to Maelinar error, but the 2nd ad in a row put paid to that theory.

Anyway, I’m still seeking stuff, we’ll just have to see if I get acknowledged as the only reason to buy a paper on Tuesdays…

jemmy 9:56 pm 01 Sep 07

So why’d you stop Maelinar? Got bored, or did the CT rise up in indignant wrath?

Maelinar 8:56 pm 01 Sep 07

Apologies, SP should read Shady.

No offence directed at smiling politely…

smiling politely 8:37 pm 01 Sep 07

Uhh… just to confirm, I’m actually on your side here. I thought shady was being a dick.

Ah, what the heck, feelin’ stoopid.

Poopoo brain. Your brains are poo. Nyeh nyeh.

Sparkling, no? Ah, such heady repartee…

Maelinar 7:32 pm 01 Sep 07

SP, So it’s not your bag baby, Woo-the-f*cking-hell-hoo. A lot of people did find it interesting, and I was interviewed by the CT and by the SMH Column 8.

Against your claim to fame, that alone beats you hands down, and that’s just one idea I have had, against your many.

NOW that’s lame, smiling politely.

You may believe I am impaired in my faculties, but I believe you are a dunderhead. The problem here is that now I have evidence that I can show the world, and you just still have your opinion.


smiling politely 4:41 pm 30 Aug 07

No, “going” was the intended usage.

Interestingly enough, I consulted the Oxford (yes yes yes people, I know, for Australian usage I should be checking the Macquarie) and “ongoing” doesn’t appear as an actual word, though the usage of “going” as in “a going concern” certainly does. Besides which, in that particular instance I wanted to avoid any alliteration with two “oh” sounds in a row. Works well enough in some circumstances but I didn’t think so here. I trust that answers your question?

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