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The game is up, although it pays to advertise for henchmen

By Maelinar - 28 August 2007 30

It is with some mirth that I report for the previous three months+ I have been writing in the local paper, the Canberra Times.

My efforts have also similarly been featured in the SMH Column8, and in the Times2 section of the CT.

Unfortunately, however it appears that the game is up. I’m being edited out of the only thing that was actually getting readers to enthusiastically read the paper on a Tuesday – my free ad, and my cohort of henchmen.

The rules were simple: I place a wanted ad seeking a fantastical item that is either outrageous to ask for, or simply doesnt exist.

Here’s a short summary of what I can remember asking for off the top of my head:

A zeppelin and a sopwith camel for an elaborate prank (response: 3 burnt zeppelins and a tiger moth – 3 calls and featured in SMH 2 days in a row)
The ?1479? Peacock Throne for gentlemanly wager (response: no calls)
A Double Eagle for coin collection (response: no calls)
Land for Lair, preferably underground (response: 2 calls)
Pepsi Can with serial number 2-7-8-2-3-8 (response: 2 calls)
Orbital Laser for Ransom Demand (response: no calls)
Scientists for evil laboratory (response: 4 calls – 2 asking me if it was anything to do with pepsi)
Henchmen to man evil lair (response: 8 calls and featured in CT Times2)
Beam focus unit for lightsabre (response: no calls)
Teens for kooky ghost investigation unit, with van – the game is up.

I got a lot of feedback from my callers – some who offered their entire workplace as henchmen, that the only thing worth reading in the entire paper was my 62 characters.

Anybody out there notice my caper ?

What’s Your opinion?

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30 Responses to
The game is up, although it pays to advertise for henchmen
Thumper 8:25 am 29 Aug 07


Yep, I knew about these shenanigans.

In fact I was going to be a henchman…

Good work that man!

el 9:59 pm 28 Aug 07

Great stuff.

VicePope 7:57 pm 28 Aug 07

Excellent. Truly wonderful stuff. Would need an 11 on my personal amplifier.

jemmy 5:32 pm 28 Aug 07

Ha ha, I googled “1479 Peacock Throne” and you are number one on the hit parade, my man.

Gungahlin Al 3:53 pm 28 Aug 07

“He’s not a terrorist, he’s a naughty little boy’…”
…so piss off!!!
Just quoting the Pithon…

Maelinar 3:38 pm 28 Aug 07

p.s. Mrs Maelinar was briefed and ready to tell the news camera ‘He’s not a terrorist, he’s a naughty little boy’…

Gotta love LoB.

Maelinar 3:35 pm 28 Aug 07

Jono, I think that was ‘orbital laser’ week, the entire week of news was full of Indian terrorism suspects, so thankfully the ‘Sauron’ eye of the Australian intelligence fraternity wasn’t concerned with little old me and my ransom plots.

Dante 3:01 pm 28 Aug 07

shady, I noticed you have incorrectly used ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’. That’s pretty lame. =P

jono1 2:57 pm 28 Aug 07

I saw the one looking for henchmen. I looked the next week for a follow-up but didn’t see anything and just assumed it was a one-off.

LurkerGal 2:31 pm 28 Aug 07

Yeah, Mael has always had a pretty lame. It’s name is Nigel.

shady 11:47 am 28 Aug 07

I noticed your pretty lame.

piperdoon 11:45 am 28 Aug 07


bonfire 11:44 am 28 Aug 07

i ran an ad for ‘the goodies’ a few years back. you know ‘anything, anywhere, anytime’. rcvd a few calls and played all questions with a straight bat. i still wonder what the people who called thought.

this however, tops that considerably.

well done that man.

LurkerGal 10:11 am 28 Aug 07

Mael, I didn’t notice, but that, my friend, is brilliant.

chester 10:03 am 28 Aug 07

Christ, I’m surprised you didn’t get hauled in on terrorism charges for a few of them. LOL

Great idea. What a hoot. How about moving into the For Sale section and see if you can sell a used Chief Minister and his half witted sidekick into slavery?

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