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Home loans made clear

There’s always time for lubricant!

By johnboy 19 August 2013 41

I was considering letting this one through to the keeper but Nik The Pig has prevailed upon me.

The Canberra Times is having a field day with the trials of a 70 year old man who put a fork where it shouldn’t have been.

The fork was not visible but doctors were able to feel it from the outside and X-rays showed its position.

Doctors considered several retrieval options before deciding to pull the fork free using forceps and “copious lubrication” while the patient was under a general anaesthetic.

The International Journal of Surgery has picked up the unusual case and from hence it’s returned to Canberra.

So if you know a 70 year old who was walking funny a few months ago be careful around their cutlery.

UPDATE: Meanwhile CanMeme has had a return to form:

the owl

What’s Your opinion?


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41 Responses to
There’s always time for lubricant!
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niftydog 12:37 pm 20 Aug 13

For those not brave enough to click on jazzamac’s link, I’ll just leave this quote here for your amusement;

“…needles, pencils, ball point pens, pen lids, garden wire, copper wire, speaker wire, safety pins, Allen keys, wire-like objects (telephone cables, rubber tubes, feeding tubes, straws, string), toothbrushes, household batteries, light bulbs, marbles, cotton tip swabs, plastic cups, thermomethers, plants and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, beans, hay, bamboo sticks, grass leaves), parts of animals (leeches, squirrel tail, snakes, bones), toys, pieces of latex gloves, blue tack, Intrauterine Contraceptive devices (IUCD), tampons, pessaries, powders (cocaine), fluids (glue, hot wax).”

Ben_Dover 11:26 am 20 Aug 13

It made the Daily Mail.

I know Canberra isn’t exciting, but having to resort to sticking cutlery up your Jap’s for fun is a bit extreme by anyone’s standard.

Holden Caulfield 10:54 am 20 Aug 13

This fad will soon pass.

Rollersk8r 9:52 am 20 Aug 13

Some tynes you have to wonder what is prong with some people…

Postalgeek 9:32 am 20 Aug 13

Jezuz man, just take viagra. Fork is old school for a reason.

IrishPete 8:52 am 20 Aug 13

re: consent

I have had another thought. The patient gave consent for the article to be published in a medical journal. He might be a little surprised that it has turned up in his local newspaper.

The concept of “informed consent” is an interesting one, as often the research subject has no idea what they are letting themselves in for (i.e. it wasn’t really “informed”), and in this case even the doctors may not have predicted the story would go viral (or “feral”, as someone said to me yesterday).

IP

IrishPete 8:49 am 20 Aug 13

johnboy said :

Well he’s gone global now:

https://news.google.com/news?ncl=d3Ni2EPrLbMn8SMwgQn4hXPRaC1CM&q=International+Journal+of+Surgery+Cases&lr=English&hl=en

May as well book it on Letterman.

I can’t wait for the movie. No, hang on, I can wait for the movie. No that sounds wrong too. I have no interest at all in the movie.

IP

IrishPete 8:44 am 20 Aug 13

Wily_Bear said :

Isn’t anyone else even slightly perturbed that the hospital released this information? Even though they haven’t identified him, what possible reason was there to make this public? One can only surmise it was to titilate rather than educate.

Hope the poor fella hasn’t done any permanent damage.

No, not perturbed. Medical journals are full of case studies, and it is a valid scientific research method. If you check the actual journal article (link supplied by someone else earlier) you will find that the patient gave consent for the article to be published.

If it was to titillate the journal article would have been headlined “Dickhead sticks fork in dick head” rather than “AN UNUSUAL URETHRAL FOREIGN BODY”. Other doctors around the world will now have a better idea of how to remove voluntarily or accidentally inserted “foreign bodies”.

The Canberra Times’ reason for reporting the article is another matter altogether. But there is an element of “public interest” – is this really what we want our hospitals doing, removing foreign objects inserted for sexual gratification? Haven’t they better things to be doing? Maybe he or other people can be shamed into being a little less dangerously daft. Or shamed into taking out health insurance so that the Little Company of Mary hospitals get do the operation, hopefully with a mandatory preoperative lecture from a nun.

The fact he gave consent is more perturbing. He may be getting a buzz out of the publicity, maybe thinking up his next challenge.

IP

Deborah 11:42 pm 19 Aug 13

He asked his wife for a f*ck but she thought he said fork.

Holden Caulfield 10:51 pm 19 Aug 13

Stick a fork in it, he’s cooked.

Holden Caulfield 10:50 pm 19 Aug 13

Girt_Hindrance said :

Very nearly ended up under the knife. Stick to spooning.

A multi-pronged approach?

Wily_Bear 10:32 pm 19 Aug 13

Isn’t anyone else even slightly perturbed that the hospital released this information? Even though they haven’t identified him, what possible reason was there to make this public? One can only surmise it was to titilate rather than educate.

Hope the poor fella hasn’t done any permanent damage.

Girt_Hindrance 8:36 pm 19 Aug 13

Very nearly ended up under the knife. Stick to spooning.

milkman 8:33 pm 19 Aug 13

Oh, and damn Julianne Moore is hot.

milkman 8:33 pm 19 Aug 13

Deref said :

I hate it when that happens.

Always tie a string to your fork before inserting it anywhere.

Depends which end you’re inserting first…

poetix 8:09 pm 19 Aug 13

IrishPete said :

dannybear said :

It appears to have been a cocktail fork.

I just realised this was a pun.

IP

It is the white caviar of puns.

And IP is fixated!

IrishPete 7:57 pm 19 Aug 13

dannybear said :

It appears to have been a cocktail fork.

I just realised this was a pun.

IP

IrishPete 7:48 pm 19 Aug 13

johnboy said :

it appears freaking huge for where it ended up!

I thought it might have been a barbecue fork. Working up to a garden fork.

Eventually he will probably do a Michael Hutchence.

IP

dannybear 6:31 pm 19 Aug 13

It appears to have been a cocktail fork.

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