4 September 2007

This Important Chinese Bloke arrives in Canberra

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Could not work out WHAT was going on. Cops posted at the roundabouts (Russell/King’s Ave, and everything to the airport). And heading out on Pialligo Ave towards Queanbeyan, 6.30pm-ish, traffic was stopped at the Fairbairn gates. About 15 minutes before, guns had been going off, so evidently some head of state. So the cops (heaps of them, on bikes and cars) steamed along with all their lights going, and then a long line of various cars, vans, some white ones with crowns on the number plates, fat black vans, 3 murrays coaches, Uncle Tom Cobbleigh and all… while we sat there, looking at them. The minute they were past, the cops let us all go. I hate to think how backed up back towards the airport the line was.

The mid-evening ABC news was most helpful, it was Hu Jintao, Boss of China.

[ED (Kramer) – Hu is flitting around the country before APEC starts. He arrived from Perth tonight, and is currently having dinner with the GG at Govt House. More details of Hu’s upcoming escapades are in this report.]

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Oh I thought he was a representative from Mattel who was here to pick up all those poorly made Chinese toys that are full of toxins!

Okay, the jig is up. I knew my real identiy would come out soon. I am indeed Hu… ummm…. Jintao. I am the boss… (cough)… Nisionary leader of the People’s Republic of China. I thank you all for comment… good and bad. But hairy nosed wombat, how did you get hold of super top secret transcript of that conversation between Dubya and Condi. We would be interested in speaking with you. Very interested ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (inhale) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (inhale) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (inhale) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

hairy nosed wombat12:39 pm 05 Sep 07

or there is! (ok it is a little old, but still funny)

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. May be we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

leavnig the airport at 6:45, it wasn’t erally backed up at all, and there was no signs of police vehicles etc.
Only thing we saw was 5 murrays busses, and some normal idiotic canberra drivers.

– Hu’s on first?
– Yeah, who?
– It’s Hu.
– So who?
– I just told you, Hu
– I still don’t know who

Rawhide Kid No 210:34 am 05 Sep 07

To late…..George W spoke to Little Johnny first.

… and remember, Hu’s on first.

I just told you … I Don’t Know.

Nope, didn’t you know What’s on second.

On third is … I Don’t Know.

What’s on third?

No, he’s on second.

Hu’s on first.

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