22 May 2013

Unearthed Reviews: Sharptooth. Half a star.

| Barcham
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Sharptooth

Well I’ve already put up a story about an alien invasion today, it’s time for an Unearthed Review.

15 bands left on our “bands whose names I like and have never heard before’ list. Today the RNG gave me the number four.

A four means I listen to Sharptooth.

This band appears to be named after the terrifying Tyrannosaurus Rex from ‘The Land Before Time’ which was an awesome movie.

Yet another band that doesn’t have a bio, what is wrong with these people?

Here’s what I have to say about them:

Sharptooth are a garagey punk band that sit on the heavier side of pop-punk rock.

They are awful.

The style of music suggests, no requires, a certain amount of messiness, but these guys have no idea what they are doing, which may be very ‘punk’ but makes for a terrible listening experience.

They can’t sing, they can’t play… can they write decent lyrics?

Here’s To My Friends is about drinking with friends. A reasonable enough topic for a punk song, but not a very interesting one. Certainly they’ve brought nothing new to the ‘drinking with mates’ genre of punk music.

Go Down Or Go Home is about telling a girl she must go down on him because he bought her presents. I assume it’s meant to be a joke (at least I hope it is), but as a joke has failed to be funny, yet still managed to remain just as offensive if it were said un-ironically.

So no, they cannot write, play, or sing, anything worth your attention.

They are terrible.

Don’t bother.

Instead watch this clip from The Land Before Time and feel nostalgic.

Oh a score? For the band, half a star.

For The Land Before Time? ALL THE STARS.

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Well after that savage caning by Barcho feel free to sink your sharptooth into his hide 🙂

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